December 20 2018

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Thursday, December 20, 2018 – Edition: #6361

Sheet For Brains!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” is shutting down for the holidays December 24th-January 1st inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days.  Following the Dec 21 issue, the next edition of “BS” will be January 2, 2019. Thanks for a successful year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Penny Marshall’s former husband Rob Reiner tweeted shortly after her death that “She was born with a great gift. She was born with a funny bone and the instinct of how to use it.” Marshall, who broke ground for women in Hollywood throughout her career, died at the age of 75 from complications related to diabetes. She gained fame in the 70s as Laverne DeFazio in “Laverne and Shirley,” before stepping behind the camera to become a successful director and producer of movies such as “Big” and “A League of Their Own.”
-TheBlast
★ Julia Roberts has revealed that the first time she realized the extent of her fame, it wasn’t a very glamorous situation…Roberts says she was 21-years-old and in a bathroom stall in Georgia when she heard a voice saying: “Hey girl in stall number one, were you in Mystic Pizza?”  After Roberts confirmed she was indeed in the 1988 film, the fan slid “something under the stall” for her to autograph.
(Lucky for her, selfies weren’t a thing yet!)
-MSN
★ Amber Heard says she received ”death threats” after accusing Johnny Depp of being abusive. Heard, who filed for divorce from Depp in 2016, has opened up about her experiences in an article for the Washington Post.  She claims that after filing for divorce amid accusations he had been ”verbally and physically” abusive – which the actor denied – she felt constantly threatened.  Heard writes: ”For months, I rarely left my apartment, and when I did, I was pursued by camera drones and photographers on foot, on motorcycles and in cars. Tabloid outlets that posted pictures of me spun them in a negative light.:
-MSN
★ Ellen Degeneres made her return to the stand-up stage for the first time in 15 years in her new special ‘Relatable’, which is out this week on Netflix.  She admits she very nearly stepped away from the microphone for good, because she finds her talk show too ”fun” to give up.  Ellen says ”[‘The Ellen Degeneres Show’] is a great gig. I get to go home every night, and this is fun. But stand-up is different than this. I just wanted to see if I could do it again after 15 years.” Her return to stand-up comes as her wife Portia De Rossi recently revealed she wants Ellen to quit her talk show, even though she’s just extended her contract up to the summer of 2020.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Beastie Boys, Jonathan Van Ness, Mitski
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Felicity Jones, Jimmy Carr, Bebe Rexha
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John C. Reilly, Sen. Jeff Flake
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Lin-Manuel Miranda, Colin Quinn, Richard Danielson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Will Ferrell, RuPaul, She & Him
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo):Teresa Giudice, Kyle Richards, Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer, Vicki Gunvalson, Nene Leakes
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): April Ryan, John C. Reilly (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Faith Ford, guest co-host Jodie Sweetin (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hailee Steinfeld, Lawrence Zarian, guest co-host Andy Cohen
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sandra Bullock, Blake Shelton
• “A Christmas Story Live!” (FOX): A live musical adaptation of the iconic film and Broadway production about an American family during the Christmas season in the 1950s.
• “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (ABC): In the Emmy and Peabody-winning animated cartoon from 1965, the gang mounts a holiday pageant as Charlie Brown bemoans Yuletide commercialism.
• “The 4th Annual Howie Mandel Stand-Up Extravaganza” (CW): Featuring Amanda Seales, Maz Jobrani, Lil Rel Howery, Laurie Kimlartin, Garfunkel and Oates, and many others. Hosted by Howie Mandel and recorded at the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran — has made more money touring this year than any other artist has in 30 years. Rolling Stones reports that he sold 4,860,482 tickets in 53 cities and 94 shows for an all-time record gross of $432 million. By comparison, Taylor Swift’s tour made $345.1 million and Beyoncé’s made $254.1 million.
• Kanye West – His wife Kim Kardashian is reportedly begging him to ditch Twitter following his latest social media rant and public fight with Ariana Grande and Drake.
• John Legend – just might end up hosting the Oscars with his wife Chrissy Teigen.  He said: “I feel like it’s a thankless job. Nobody really wins from hosting the Oscars…I’m not saying we’re ruling it out.” The 2019 Oscars take place on Feb. 24.
• The Runaways — Former bassist Jackie Fox recently won $34,089 during two winning appearances on “Jeopardy!”  Appearing under her real name of Jackie Fuchs, she provided the answer-as-question “What is ‘Rock Lobster’?” referring to the B-52s song, correctly.
• The Cure – Frontman Robert Smith says the group will release their first new album in 10 years in early 2019.  Quote: “I’ve listened to so many new bands and met so many of them that’s it’s inspired me to do something new.”  The group are among the recently announced Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Class of 2019.
• The Strokes — have been confirmed as headliners for the BBK festival in Bilbao, Spain, marking the band’s first live performance since 2017. Weezer, Thom Yorke, Idles and Suede are also set to headline the event next summer.
• Brett Young – His new album “Ticket to L. A.” has debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s top country albums chart.
• Garth Brooks – has been talking about recording a duets album with his wife Trisha Yearwood for years, but he now says it’s actually going to happen. He says the plan is to record it live, probably next year.  Brooks says they are “talking” about doing it at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium.

AND ‘ZE’ WINS!
The official Scrabble dictionary is getting an update next year, and no one is accusing the game’s makers of falling behind the times.  Next year’s edition will contain the word “ze”. Ze can be used as an alternative to “he” or “she” to refer to someone who doesn’t identify with a particular gender.  And throwing down the tiles ‘z’ and ‘e’ will score you 11 points.  Also among the 2,800 new additions to the new edition will be “bae”, “zen” and “pluto”…as a verb. How is pluto used as a verb?  Glad you asked.  It can be used to mean “lose importance”, in the way that the former planet was demoted.  Also new in the 70th anniversary Scrabble dictionary: The word “Yowza”.
(…which Richie Cunningham was using on “Happy Days” 40 years ago!)
(2,800 new words and they still haven’t come up with one to describe the smell of my teenager’s gym shoes…)
-Telegraph, HuffingtonPost

70 IS THE NEW 40:
A new study has determined that septuagenarians — those are people who are in their 70s — who have been exercising regularly for decades are about as strong and have the heart and lung capacities of healthy people in their 40s.  Researchers compared seniors who cranked cardio about five days (seven hours average) per week to those with similar health habits in their 40s, and found that some who are even 75-years-old have similar cardiovascular health to a 40- to 45-year-old.  That’s important because an efficient heart and lung combo can decrease your risk of multiple chronic diseases and…of dying. For most, maximum oxygen consumption declines by about 10 percent per decade after 30, but not so for those who continue to do cardio.  Lead author and director of the Human Performance Laboratory at Ball State University Dr. Scott Trappe says that the take-away from the study is that people who exercise throughout their lives have better overall health.  While that might seem fairly obvious, he points out that 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day may be the key to a healthy life.
(Does pumping my own gas count?)
(OK, a 70-year-old may be as fit as I am, but at least I don’t have any grey in my eyebrows…yet!)
-NYPost

HOW TO SAVE MONEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:
➢ Plan ahead:  Make a budget and stick to it.  It should include gifts and expenditures for parties, food and outings.  And avoid the trap of buying that “one extra” gift for people.  That’s a killer. (“I got you half a pair of pants.  Budget ran out…”)
➢ Potlucks and BYOB parties: Make your party a potluck, and ask guests to bring their own drinks, to keep costs down.  And don’t purchase a single-use outfit for a party, such as an ugly sweater or party dress. (Oh, don’t worry…I wasn’t going to buy either!)
➢ Comparison shopping:  Make sure you compare the prices of gifts at different stores.  Give yourself 24 to 48 hours to reflect if something you’ve found makes sense, if you can afford it, and to research whether you can find it cheaper somewhere else.  Comparison shopping takes time, so starting your Christmas shopping early can help.  (And I figure it’ll be too late in exactly 5…4…3…)
➢Alternative Gifting:  This could involve using your reward points, bartering for gifts, or selling some items that you don’t use for gift-buying money.  Offering up your time to someone can also be a great way to give a meaningful gift, without spending money. (Alternative gifting is also what we called it when our daughter wanted a pony and she got a book!)
-CTV

DID YOU KNOW?

Astronomers believe they have discovered the farthest object ever found in our solar system.  The dwarf planet has been nicknamed “Farout” because it’s more than 100 times farther from the sun than the Earth.  It is believed to be 300-400 miles in diameter, and is thought to take as long as 1000 years to orbit the sun.
-Gizmodo

BS CHRONOMETER 12.20.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [73] Peter Criss, Brooklyn, NY (retired rock drummer/sometime vocalist (Kiss-‘Beth’, ‘Hard Luck Woman’)

1966 [52] Chris Robinson, Marietta GA, blues singer (The Black Crowes-‘Hard To Handle’, “Jealous Again)

1982 [36] David Cook, Houston TX, pop singer, 2008 “American Idol” winner (‘The Time of My Life’, ‘Light On’)

1983 [35] Jonah Hill, Mill Valley CA, movie actor (“The Wolf of Wall Street”, “21 Jump Street”) COMING UP…”The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” 2019

1990 [28] JoJo (Joanna Noëlle Blagden Levesque), Brattleboro VT, pop singer (‘Leave [Get Out]’, ‘Baby It’s You’)/youngest solo artist to have a #1 hit (age 13)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Dot Your i’s With Smileys Day”. (Because little hearts just aren’t annoying enough…)

• “Go Caroling Day”, a day to get together and sing out with friends, family, or a singing group. Nursing homes, hospitals and other places often welcome carolers if you call ahead.

• “International Human Solidarity Day”, a UN observance since 2005 to remind us of the importance of solidarity and the spirit of sharing in combatting poverty worldwide.

• “Sangria Day”, a day to put a little olé in your life with the traditional fruity wine punch named for the Spanish word ‘sangre’, which means ‘blood’.

• “Games Day”. The best-selling board game of all-time? ‘Monopoly’, with over 250 million games sold in 80 countries and in 26 languages since 1935. In fact, an estimated 500 million people around-the-world have played ‘Monopoly’ since its inception (and half of those games are still going on…) New versions for 2018: ‘Monopoly for Millennials’ and ‘Monopoly for Cheaters’…

• “Regifting Day”, held each year on the Thursday before Christmas. Many office holiday parties are held on this day, and research shows that 40 percent of office party gifts are regifted.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Crossword Puzzle Day
[Fri] Don’t Make Your Bed Day
[Sat] National Cookie Exchange Day
[Sat] Super Saturday

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [13] Actress Renee Zellweger annuls her marriage to singer Kenny Chesney citing fraud, after 4 months of marriage

2009 [09] 32-year-old movie actress Brittany Murphy (“8 Mile”, “Clueless”) collapses and dies in her Hollywood Hills, California home after cardiac arrest

2010 [08] Bret Michaels, lead singer of Poison, winds up his VH1 reality TV show “Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It” by sticking a rock on the finger of Kristi Gibson, long-time on-and-off girlfriend (they later break off their engagement)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1980 [38] “(Just Like) Starting Over” becomes John Lennon’s first #1 single as a solo artist in the UK, 12 days after his murder.

2012 [06] Adele is named “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Top Artist of 2012; her hit recording “21″ is ‘Album of the Year’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1980 [38] 1st (and only) NFL telecast with NO announcers (as a stunt, NBC-TV uses only sounds and graphics for a meaningless NY Jets-Miami Dolphins game)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [11] Queen Elizabeth II becomes Britain’s oldest-ever monarch, surpassing Queen Victoria’s lifespan of 81 years, 7 months, 29 days (on September 11, 2015 she overtakes Victoria as longest-serving British monarch)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia.
✓ 7-11 sells 10,000 pots of coffee an hour, every hour, every day.
✓ Whispering is more wearing on your voice than speaking normally.
✓ The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking.
✓ The word ‘gymnasium’ comes from the Greek word ‘gymnazein’ which means “to exercise naked.”
✓ Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
-RandonFactGenerator

BS IF THE GRINCH WERE CANADIAN:
• Rather than two sizes too small, his heart would be enlarged from eating back bacon
• He would convince The Who’s to share their gifts with the less fortunate
• He’d need a thicker green coat to survive
• He’d do everything the usual Grinch did, but on a more modest scale
• He’d leave an apology notes after stealing Christmas
• The quote would be, “It came without ribbons, it came without bows, it came without packages, boxes or hockey bags…”
• Instead of a sleigh, he’d come charging in on a Zamboni
• His little dog Max would be a Newfoundland
• Canadian children would affectionately refer to the mean version of him as ‘Bobby Clarke’
• Tim Horton would hear the Who’s
• He was played by Jim Carrey, so technically, he IS Canadian
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS WAYS DOGS CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS:
• By leaving Santa a glass of milk and a mutilated squirrel.
• Decorating the tree with slobber-soaked tennis balls.
• Laying by the fire with a nice brandy, licking themselves.
• Gingerbread-flavored worm pills.
• Attending a candlelight vigil to remember neutered brothers.
• Praying for peace on Earth and a slightly larger hole in the fence to the collie’s yard next door.
• Drinking eggnog out of the toilet bowl.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2016

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best day of the week for Christmas to fall on? This year’s midweek holiday makes scheduling difficult.  And Tuesday is usually the most productive day in the office. Not next week!

BEST OF BS:
REAL BUT REALLY ODD CHRISTMAS SUPERSTITIONS:
• Place shoes side-by-side on Christmas Eve to prevent a quarreling family. (Or get a turkey with 6 drumsticks.)
• If you don’t eat any plum pudding, you will lose a friend before the next Christmas. (Likely the one who went to all the effort of making the pudding.)
• A blowing wind on Christmas Day brings good luck. (But not right after dinner.)
• Wearing new shoes on Christmas Day will bring bad luck. (Not to mention aching feet.)
• Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green. (Uh, like when wasn’t it?)
• If you refuse mince pie at Christmas dinner, you will have bad luck for a year. (But you’ll save the embarrassment of upchucking on the dinner table.)
• It’s bad luck to let any fire go out in your house during the Christmas season. (It’s worse luck to let the whole shebang burn to the ground!)
• On Christmas Eve all animals can speak, but it is bad luck to hear them. (Especially after your 5th pail of egg nog.)
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Even before Christmas has said “Hello”, it’s saying “Buy, Buy”.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  150,000 men will do THIS on Christmas morning. What?
Answer:  Pop the question.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

 

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