April 15, 2014

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Tuesday, April 15, 2014           Edition: #5202

Sheet Happens!

★ Producers of the TV movie phenomenon “Sharknado” have launched an online crowdfunding campaign to raise money for a bonus scene in the upcoming sequel. Last year, the disaster film about a freak tornado that dumps deadly sharks on the streets of LA became an unlikely Syfy Channel hit, prompting the follow-up, “Sharknado 2: The Second One”, due to air July 30th. While most of the filming is complete, producers are now promising fans an additional scene featuring ‘chainsaws and sharks’ if they reach their fundraising goal of $50,000. Those who donate $5,000 win a walk-on movie role; those who give $120 get their voice mixed into the film’s background. (“Hear that? That’s me screaming!”)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/kq2sc6u
– ContactMusic.com
★ 39-year-old actress Penélope Cruz could be the next ‘Bond girl’. Producers are courting the Spanish star to play Daniel Craig’s onscreen love interest in the next installment of the ‘007’ spy franchise, according to a leaked document from Sony Pictures. ‘Bond’ bosses have apparently been chasing after her ever since Craig took over the lead role in 2006, but shooting schedules and pregnancies have so far prevented her participation. A press release sent out in France reportedly already lists Cruz as a cast member for the as-yet-untitled upcoming film, due to hit cinemas in November 2015. (Most ‘leaks’ these days turn out to be well-planned promotions.)
– TheSun.co.uk
★ And 32-year-old Jessica Alba says true beauty is only achievable by being confident in your own skin and having a positive outlook on life. The actress and new Braun ambassador thinks the most attractive women are those who are happy and live healthily. Asked for her top tip to help insecure women, she says: ‘Don’t focus on negative things, focus on your good qualities because true beauty comes from confidence in yourself, happiness, and kindness. Regardless of your appearance, that’s what I think of as a beautiful women.’‘ (Amen, sister!)
– BangShowbiz.com

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Naturally 7 (“Ready II Fly”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ellie Goulding (“Halcyon Days”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) –  Chuck E Weiss (“Other Side of Town”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jonathan Wilson (“Fanfare”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Lady Gaga (“Artpop”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Jennifer Nettles (“That Girl”). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Rosanne Cash (“The River & The Thread”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Lady Gaga again. Rerun.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The artists perform for the judges.

• Beyoncé – 2 women are suing Queen Bey, her concert promoter, and a Chicago IL concert venue because injuries suffered during a fan stampede outside a gig last December sent them to hospital and they ended up missing the show. They’re asking for an undisclosed amount.
• Elton John – David Furnish, his partner of 20-plus years, tells “Attitude” that he & Elton will officially wed now that the UK has finally made gay marriage legal. They’ve been recognized as ‘civil partners’ since 2005. No further details on the big day as yet.
• Foo Fighters – Today drummer Taylor Hawkins releases the debut album from his side project called The Birds of Satan. The 7-track self-titled set includes guest appearances by fellow Foos Dave Grohl and Pat Smear.
• Jason Derulo – Tonight Yahoo Screen is streaming the release party for his new album “Talk Dirty”.  Timbaland, DJ Mustard, and RedOne are among the producers who contributed to the set. The party starts at 11pm ET and includes a live performance.
• Oak Ridge Boys – Today the country music veterans release their 1st full-length, official hits concert album, “Boys Night Out”. The disc drops in 3 formats: CD, vinyl, and digital download.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers– Drummer Chad Smith has expressed disgust over revelations in an Al Jazeera news article that one of the group’s songs has been looped and played at high volume for long periods of time as a form of torture for Guantanamo Bay detainees.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Black Nativity” ( PG Musical Drama ): A street-wise teen from Baltimore who has been raised by a single mother travels to NYC to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged relatives. There he embarks on a surprising and inspirational journey. Stars Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J Blige. Based on the gospel musical by Langston Hughes.
• “The Nut Job” ( PG Animated Family Adventure ): When a curmudgeonly squirrel aptly named ‘Surly’ is banished from his park and forced to survive in the city, he stumbles on the one thing that may be able to save his life and the rest of park community … ‘Maury’s Nut Store’. Voice cast includes Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl.
• “Philomena” ( PG-13 Drama ): Based on the 2009 investigative book, “The Lost Child of Philomena Lee”, this British film focuses on the efforts of a woman in her later years (played by Judi Dench) to track down the son she was forced to give up for adoption 50 years earlier. Co-stars Steve Coogan, Mare Winningham.
• “Ride Along” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): A fast-talking security guard joins a police officer and potential brother-in-law on a 24-hour patrol of Atlanta GA in order to prove himself worthy of marrying the cop’s sister. Stars Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Tika Sumpter. Interestingly, this movie was originally intended for Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Ryan Reynolds.
• “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” ( PG Comedy Adventure ): Ben Stiller directs and stars as a nebbish guy with a vivid imagination who escapes into his daydreams … until he embarks on a real-life exotic adventure. Co-stars Kristen Wiig, Adam Scott, Patton Oswalt. Loosely based on a classic short story by James Thurber.
• Also released today: “Anger Management: Volume 3” (TV Comedy); “Angry Birds Toons: Season 1” (TV Animation); “The Beverly Hillbillies: The Official 4th Season” (Vintage TV); “The Gabby Douglas Story” (Biography); “The Hidden Art of Islam” (Documentary); “Petticoat Junction: The Official 3rd Season” (Vintage TV); “The Practice: The Final Season” (Vintage TV); and “Sunset Strip” (Documentary).

Today Google Glass goes on sale to the general public for a single day only. Users must be 18-years-old and are required to fill in an online form in order to be eligible to buy the device. The eyewear will cost $1,500. So far, the much-maligned wearable computer has only been available to some 8,000 so-called ‘Explorers’, who’ve paid dearly for the privilege of testing it out. It’s thought today’s 1-day release may be a sign the company is getting closer to an official launch. Today it’s being sold on a first-come, first-served basis after the online sign-up process.
NET: http://www.google.com/glass/start/how-to-get-one/
– BBC Science & Technology

French and German researchers have discovered that caffeine prevents the growth of ‘tau’, a brain cell-clogging protein associated with Alzheimer’s disease, in mice. The doses of caffeine used in the study are the equivalent of about 2 cups of coffee per day in humans. Mice given caffeine have also proven less affected by the inflammation of brain tissue. The study reinforces previous research which has found that older people are less likely to suffer cognitive decline if they take regular, moderate amounts of caffeine. (So go ahead and pour yourself a second cup this morning … with no guilt!)
– RelaxNews.com

Nearly half of sexters admit to ‘faking it’ during their sexy texts. A new Indiana University-Purdue University survey of college students reveals that fully 48% admit they have lied about what they were doing or what they were (or weren’t) wearing in a sext. Two-thirds say they lie to placate their text partner, while one-third say they lie to benefit themselves. About twice as many women as men say they have deceptively sexted, which is comparable to stats on lying during sex itself, researchers say. Women are not only more likely to fake orgasm, but also more likely to ‘pretend enthusiasm’. (Seems faking it isn’t limited to person-to-person relations.)
– ScienceDirect.com

A Brooklyn NY entrepreneur has launched a cleaning service for the smartphone set that allows those sick of schlepping bags of dirty clothes a more genteel option. ‘Cleanly’, a just-launched laundry/dry cleaning service lets busy New Yorkers schedule pickup and delivery of dirty clothes. Here’s how it works: Users who’ve downloaded the free app schedule a time for pickup and include any special cleaning instructions. A ‘Cleanly’ valet delivers the clothing to a local launderer or drycleaner. Fresh, clean clothes are delivered back to the user within 24 hours. Rates are determined by neighborhood, with prices starting at $1.25/lb for wash-and-fold. (Now there’s an app that’s really useful!)
NET: http://www.getcleanly.com
– NYDailyNews.com

Well not really, but there is one new way to make sure the symptoms are over as quickly as possible. Zinc supplements, taken orally within 24 hours of the first cold symptoms, can reduce the duration of a common cold a new study shows. That’s the conclusion reached by pediatricians in India after analyzing data from controlled trials. The study also reveals that the preventative use of zinc over a period of 5 months reduces the incidence of colds in children. However, the side effects associated with excessive zinc intake limit the attractiveness of prescribing the supplement to children over an extended period. (The docs giveth, then the docs taketh away.)

• Early morning sunlight can help you control your weight.
– AARP.com
• Doctors in Boston MA regularly prescribe memberships to public bike-share programs for patients who need more exercise.
– FastCompany.com
• The liquid in e-cigarettes can cause seizures and even death if ingested or absorbed through the skin.
– NYTimes.com

“When you’re dancing your pants off, nobody’s looking at your shoes.”
– Scarlett Johansson


1959 [55] Emma Thompson, London UK, movie actress (“Harry Potter” films, 1992 Oscar-“Howard’s End”)/screenwriter (1995 Oscar-“Sense & Sensibility”)

1968 [46] Ed O’Brien, Oxford UK, rock guitarist (Radiohead-“Paranoid Android”, “There There”)

1979 [35] Luke Evans, Aberbargoed, Wales, movie actor (“The Hobbit” films, “Fast & Furious 6”)  UPCOMING: “Dracula Untold”, opening October 17th.

1980 [34] Patrick Carney, Akron OH, blues-rock drummer (The Black Keys-“Fever”, “Gold On the Ceiling”)

1982 [32] Seth Rogen, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Pineapple Express”, “Knocked Up”)

1984 [30] De’Mar Hamilton, Chicago IL, rock drummer (Plain White T’s-“Rhythm of Love”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1990 [24] Emma Watson, Paris, France, movie actress (“Noah”, “Harry Potter” films)

• “Gripers’ Day”, a good day to have listeners call in with life’s little annoyances such as …
– Having to inform 5 different sales people in the same store that you’re just browsing.
– That dog in the neighborhood that barks at everything.
– When you fill up the kettle then forget to turn it on.
– Each time you pull a slice of pizza out of the box, it sticks and pulls off all the toppings.
– The car behind you blasting its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
– People yakking on their phone at the checkout who hold up a hand to tell the clerk to wait.

• “IRS Income Tax Day” in the USA.

• “Library Workers Day”, a day for library administrators and users to recognize the valuable contributions made by all library workers.

• “Rubber Eraser Day”, honoring English chemist Joseph Priestley’s 1770 discovery that a small cube of latex could be used to correct boo-boos. He coined the word ‘eraser’.

• “Take a Wild Guess Day”, honoring hunches, guesses, speculation, and other forms of intuitive intelligence.

• “That Sucks Day”, the 10th annual celebrating failure, incompetence, dissatisfaction, mediocrity, apathy, chaos, tomfoolery, buffoonery, and jackassery.
NET: http://www.thatsucks.net

• “World Art Day”, an international celebration of the fine arts initiated by the International Association of Art (IAA) to promote awareness of creative activity worldwide.

• “Worm Moon”, the Full Moon of March, so-named as earthworms reappear after it. It’s also been called the ‘Crow Moon’ and the ‘Sap Moon’.

1982 [32] Jay Leno makes his 1st guest appearance on “Late Night With David Letterman” (little realizing he’d someday be the competition, and then retire before Letterman)

1989 [25] “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals hits #1 on the pop singles chart

1947 [67] Jackie Robinson becomes the 1st to break Major League Baseball’s so-called ‘color barrier’ (leads to the 2013 movie “42”)

[Wed] “Heaven is For Real” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Stress Awareness Day
[Thurs] Bat Appreciation Day
[Fri] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Sat] Record Store Day
[Sun] Easter Sunday (Christian)
[Sun] Pot Smokers Day
This Week Is … Crime Victims Rights Week
This Month Is … Kite Month


• Eat Cheese From a Tin – Gwyneth Paltrow once told an interviewer she would ‘rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin’ … whatever that means.
• Go to Paris Without the Hotel Staff Spitting in His Food – Gwyneth revealed this purported problem suffered by millionaire hippy types during an interview with “Elle” in 2011.
• Feel Emotions – For such a notoriously miserable bastard, there are no photos of Chris Martin actually crying. You’ll have to make do with some Coldplay lyrics instead.
• Feed His Kids Cup-a-Soup – Little Miss Organic-Fairtrade-Homegrown-Macrobiotic would never let her offspring eat anything that involves a kettle and a sachet.
• Shop at Wal-Mart – As opposed to lounging around the house in $290-sweatpants from GOOP’s very own clothing line.
– Adapted from HecklerSpray.com

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

☎ What sport that’s currently not offered would you like to see added in high schools? (Ping pong and badminton have just been made varsity sports in NYC.)

Question: It takes 30 workers 40 days to produce a single ounce of THIS.
Answer: Honey. Worker bees, that is.

Marijuana is all about enjoying life, but life is not all about enjoying marijuana.

Like this article?

Share on facebook
Share on Facebook
Share on twitter
Share on Twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on Linkdin
Share on pinterest
Share on Pinterest

Leave a comment