Monday, April 25, 2005        Edition: #3019
Guaranteed 100% Grade A Bull!

BS LOOK AT THE WEEKEND TABLOIDS:
• 24-year-old former “American Idol”contestant Corey Clark is shopping a book proposal in which he promises to describe a secret affair with Paula Abdul during which she promised to pump up to $2 million into his career. He also claims contestant Justin Guarini bragged about having an affair with Paula. Clark was booted from the show after it was revealed that he faced charges for assaulting his teenage sister and fighting with police. (“Globe” magazine)
• Meantime, ABC-TV’s “Primetime Live” is taking aim at “American Idol” with an exposé slated to air during MAY sweeps that reportedly focuses on the interaction between contestants and judges. (“Star Magazine”)
• In a surprising development, Michael Jackson’s ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, has been subpoenaed by the prosecution to testify at Jackson’s child-molestation trial. (“People” magazine)
• FRIDAY an anonymous bidder purchased Johnny Carson’s famous “Tonight Show” microphone, a Shure SM33, for $50,787 at an auction in Dallas TX. Heritage Galleries also plans to auction Carson’s desk later in the year. (“E! Online”)
• It seemed to happen in a matter of minutes on LAST WEEK’s “Survivor: Palau” episode, but Janu’s departure came only after a tribal council that lasted several hours and included host Jeff Probst requesting a break in filming so various options could be discussed. However, once Janu learned that she would still be eligible to become the 2nd member of the jury, she decided to quit. (“Reality Blurred”)
• Rumors that a special family edition of “Amazing Race 8“ would feature the family of popular former “Survivor” contestant Rupert Boneham are apparently untrue. He says he’s not going to pull a ‘Rob & Amber’ and try for a 3rd chance at a million because he’d never put his 5-year-old daughter through that. The show’s rules don’t allow contestants under the age of 8 anyway. (“Reality TV Magazine”)
• Isn’t this just ducky! “A Lot Like Love” star Ashton Kutcher has webbed feet. Actually it’s just 2 toes that are connected or ‘webbed’, which he’s proven by showing them off on both MTV Britain and NBC’s “Tonight Show”. He says he’s stunned by the reaction people have to the phenomenon because he grew up thinking everybody has the same condition. (“Teen Hollywood”)
• Actress Lindsay Lohan was shocked to discover burglars had broken into her LA pad when she returned from a trip to NYC earlier THIS MONTH. More than $10,000-worth of electronic equipment including 2 large-screen TV sets and a DVD player were stolen. (“Celebrity Justice”)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Anna Nalick – TONIGHT she performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Beyoncé – More than 2,000 fans packed a Sydney, Australia department store on the weekend to catch a glimpse of her during an appearance promoting her new perfume.
•  Britney Spears – She’s asking just under $5 million for her penthouse in NYC’s Silk Building.
• Bruce Springsteen – THIS MORNING he does NBC-TV’s “Today Show”, then TONIGHT he launches his solo tour in Detroit MI, a day before his “Devils & Dust” solo album is released.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin has been named the UK’s ‘Fantasy Prime Minister’ in a new poll by British music magazine “New Musical Express”.
• Keith Urban – Weekly sales figures for his latest album “Be Here” jumped by 62% after his appearance on the “2005 CMT Music Awards”, according to SoundScan.
• Mariah Carey – She’s announced plans to publish a series of illustrated children’s books about a bi-racial orphan girl under the title “Automatic Princess”. The stories will purportedly be based on her own childhood experiences.
• Rob Thomas – TODAY he’s on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.

I, ROBOT:
• A robot suit has been developed that may help seniors and those with disabilities to walk or lift heavy objects. The latest version of ‘HAL’ (Hybrid Assistive Limb) will be unveiled at the “2005 World Expo” in Aichi, Japan this JUNE. It’s a motor-driven metal ‘exoskeleton’ that you strap onto your legs to power-assist leg movements. The system is so sophisticated it actually responds fractionally faster to brain signals than the user’s own muscles. It’s expected to hit the commercial market by the end of the year.
– “New Scientist”
• In the United Arab Emirate of Qatar a robot is being developed to replace young boys as camel jockeys. During a trial run, Swiss robotics firm K-Team managed to have its robot nicknamed ‘Kamel’ race a real-life camel 2.5 km (1.5 miles) at 40 km/hr (24 mph). It’s expected that all camel racers in Qatar will be mechanical by 2007. Why? Human rights groups have long protested the use of some 40,000 boy jockeys, some of as young as 4, who are sometimes bought from their parents or kidnapped to learn the trade. Unlike real jockeys, the 27-kg (60-lb) robots will be equipped with both GPS – and shock absorbers.
– Canadian Press

BEST CELEBRITY BUTT [MALE]:
1. Brad Pitt
2. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
3. Vin Diesel
– “Oxygen” magazine.

THESE PIGS FLY:
THIS MONTH thousands of Shanghai, China residents have shown up at Heping Park to watch a parcel of porkers compete in what organizers call the “Pig Olympics”. The specially-trained swine run over hurdles, jump through hoops, dive, and swim in shows twice a day. The pigs, a midget species from Thailand, begin training soon after birth and can begin performing professionally after about a year. After performances, young fans are given a change to pet the pigs and also to – what fun! – hit the winners with an inflatable mallet.
– CNN World

USA’S MOST LIVEABLE CITES in 2005:
1. Spencer IA
2. Long Beach NY
3. Yuma AZ
4. Edmond OK
5. Bartlesville OK
6. Venice FL
7. Bonita Springs FL
8. Montgomery AL
9. Asheville NC
10. Jasper IN
– Relocate-America.com

FOR THE RECORD:
24-year-old James Trusler of the UK has been crowned ‘World’s Fastest Text Messenger’ after typing a complicated 25-word text message in record-breaking time. Trusler won the annual championship and a £50,000-prize by typing the phrase: “The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human” in just 48 seconds – a full 19 seconds faster than his nearest rival.
– “Sky News”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Joseph Ratzinger, the new Pope Benedict XVI, served in the Hitler Youth during WW2 when membership was compulsory, according to his autobiography.

AND WE QUOTE:
 “I want to make more money than my parents.”  – Paris Hilton explaining her lofty goals at a press conference promoting her upcoming horror flick “House of Wax”, opening MAY 6.

THE BULL SHEET 04.25.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [65] Al Pacino, South Bronx NY, 5′-6″ movie actor with 8 Academy Award nominations but only 1 Oscar (“Scent of a Woman”)

1945 [60] Bjorn Ulvaeus, Gothenburg, Sweden, really rich retired pop singer (ABBA-“Dancing Queen”) enjoying a revival thanks to the stage musical “Mama Mia”

1964 [41] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/’Chief Wiggum’/’Apu’/’Comic Book Guy’/’Cletus’/’Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [36] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (Oscar-“Cold Mountain”, “Bridget Jones’s Diary 1 & 2″)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Newfoundland & Labrador] “St George’s Day Holiday”
[Toronto] “Canadian Idol” auditions through Saturday

TODAY through Sunday, May 1st is the 11th annual “TV-Turnoff Week”, when we’re encouraged to trade-out tube time for more worthwhile social and family activities (such as discussions about all the shows you’re missing?). Sponsored by the non-profit ‘TV Turnoff Network’, it’s now observed in the US, Canada, Australia, Britain, Japan, Taiwan, Italy, Mexico and several other countries. The group’s Website lists lots of ‘screen-free activities’ such as ‘studying sign-language’ or ‘climbing a tree’ …
NET: http://www.tvturnoff.org

TODAY is “Martin Waldseemuller Remembrance Day”, commemorating the man who gave the Americas their name 498 years ago TODAY (1507). The German mapmaker named the New World after minor explorer Amerigo Vespucci, whom he mistakenly thought had discovered it. There were many others more deserving that he could have selected, including Columbus, Cabot, Cartier, Champlain, Hudson, or even Leif Eriksson.
There were many  others more deserving that he could have selected including Columbus, Cortez, Coronado, DeSoto, Champlain, or even Leif Eriksson.

TODAY is “Good Telephone Day”, promoting phone etiquette, including answering by the 3rd ring, keeping holds to a minimum, thanking callers, and not hanging up without warning. Ask listeners for businesses that give ‘good phone’ – or, for that matter, that actually have a human answering the phone.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [03] TLC’s Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes is killed in a car-crash in La Cieba, Honduras at age 30

1997 [08] U2′s “PopMart” tour kicks off in Las Vegas, featuring world’s largest video screen, a 35-ft mirrored lemon, a 100-ft golden arch, and a giant stuffed olive on a 100-ft toothpick

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1950 [55] 1st Dunkin Donuts shop opens

1953 [52] Discovery of ‘DNA’ is announced (important to the future cloning of your pet cat)

1959 [46] St Lawrence Seaway 1st opens to shipping traffic

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1955 [50] Philip Yazdzik eats record 72 hamburgers at one sitting in Chicago (then sets another record for Rolaids)

1972 [33] A cat named ‘Paula’ falls 26 stories in Toronto – and lives!

1980 [25] After Guinness-record 194 days, 12-yr-old Tricia Reay of England stops sneezing

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] Canadian Income Tax deadline
[Tues] Pretzel Day
[Wed] Administrative Professionals Day
[Wed] Hairball Awareness Day
[Thurs] Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day
[Thurs] Kiss Your Mate Day
[Thurs] Great Poetry Reading Day
[Fri] “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and “XXX: State of the Union” open in movie theaters
[Sat-May 15] World Hockey Championships (Austria)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Keep America Beautiful Week / Canada-US Goodwill Week / Administrative Professionals Week / Medical Laboratory Week / Big Brother-Big Sisters Appreciation Week / Consumer Protection Week / Egg Salad Week / Forest Week / Intergenerational Week / Jewish Heritage Week / Lingerie Week / YMCA Week / Sky Awareness Week / Teacher Appreciation Week / Week of the Young Child

BULL’S BITS . . .
TODAY is “Anzac Day”, a public holiday in Australia & New Zealand commemorating the 1915 landing at Gallipoli of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, during World War I.
TEST YOUR AUSSIE IQ:
• A surprising research study shows the average Australian woman does THIS an average of 121 times before getting married. [Kisses different men.]
• 1 in 5 of THESE machines in the world is located Down Under. [Slot machines, even though the population is just 19 million.]
• In an average year, 10 Australians choke to death while doing THIS. [Drinking a beer while driving.]

BS SIGNS YOU ARE GOING TO HELL:
• You can’t stand harp music.
• You’ve worn white after Labor Day.
• You have severed heads in your freezer.
• You can name 10 beers but not 1 of the 10 Commandments.
• You’ve considered selling your soul for a Mercedes convertible.
• You have undressed someone with your eyes … at a family reunion.
– “Weekly World News”

BS WEB GOODIE:
The good folks at the Biography Channel have thrown up an online gizmo that allows you to discover which famous person would have been your Mr or Mrs Right. The ‘Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search’ promises who would have been a perfect match – if they weren’t dead, of course. (And you weren’t an untalented nobody.)
NET: http://www.biography.com/soulmate

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• The US House of Representatives has approved an energy bill that would extend Daylight Saving Time (now April-October) from the first Sunday in MARCH to the last Sunday in NOVEMBER. If the US Senate agrees, it will likely become law. Should Canada follow suit?
• If you could ensure that your children never have one experience that you’ve had, what would it be?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A Johns Hopkins University study finds that 75-year-old women tend to maintain better brain function than 75 year-old-men due in part to THIS.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Shopping, which offers both physical and mental exercise. (“Women’s Health”, MAY issue.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The most solid stone is the lowest one in the foundation.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
A big moo-out to “Bull Sheet” samplers this week that include David Harris @ V106.3 [KGMX] Palmdale CA; Deon Chetty @ Lotus FM [SABC] Durban, South Africa; Niall Power @ Beat 102 Waterford, Ireland; Clint Stanton @ WKKR Auburn AL; and Annabel Nguyan @ KPIG Freedom CA. You can subscribe or update your “BS” subscription by following the link at the top of the page.

 


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