Friday, April 9, 2004        Edition: #2764
It’s Another Running Of The Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Paul McCartney’s wife Heather Mills will appear in PSAs without her prosthetic leg to draw attention to the 1.2 million traffic deaths that occur worldwide each year (her left leg was severed below the knee when she was hit by a motorcycle in 1993) . . . A porn movie has been shot on the very same aircraft set used in Britney Spears’ “Toxic” video, with a Britney lookalike as a ‘flight attendant’ . . . Model Rachel Hunter says she now regrets playing “Stacy’s Mom” in the Fountains of Wayne video because – young boys keep hitting on her . . . 26-year-old Brooke Burns (“Dog Eat Dog”) has been proudly showing off a Cartier diamond ring that 49-year-old boyfriend Bruce Willis reportedly gave her in Paris – along with a proposal . . . New stats from the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry show that worldwide music sales were down 7.6% LAST YEAR, for a total drop of 20% over the past 3 years (can you say ‘Kazaa’?) . . . The “Crossroads Guitar Festival” JUNE 4-6th in Dallas will feature a who’s who of guitar greats, including Carlos Santana, Eric Clapton, Vince Gill & BB King . . . And actress Julia Roberts was scheduled to be pregnant – in the script for soon-to-shoot “Ocean’s Twelve”, that is – but word has it she didn’t like the idea of cavorting onscreen looking 7-months huge and demanded they ‘change that’ – which they did (are we power tripping?).  

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – They’ll perform the ‘first full-scale hip-hop concert’ in Malaysia on MAY 26th in Kuala Lumpur.
• Nelly Furtado – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Britney Spears – She’s reportedly added 2 German Shepherd guard dogs to beef up security after an intruder took pics of her bedroom at her mother’s house in Louisiana.
• Jet – TONIGHT they do “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Eric Clapton – He kicks off a 2-month, 29-city tour JUNE 9th in Oklahoma City.
• Janet Jackson – TOMORROW night she’s guest host on “Saturday Night Live”, with guest star Simon Cowell from “American Idol”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Alamo” (Western Adventure): Historical epic about the 1836 standoff in which a group of Texans & Tejanos were besieged in the abandoned Alamo mission outside San Antonio TX by the army of Mexican dictator Santa Anna. Stars Dennis Quaid as ‘Sam Houston’, Billy Bob Thornton as ‘Davy Crockett’, and Jason Patric as ‘James Bowie’. At 51 acres, the movie set was the largest, most expensive set ever built in North America. The final battle, which in real life lasted less than 6 hours, took over a month to shoot.
• “The Girl Next Door” (Romantic Comedy): Emile Hirsch plays an inexperienced high school senior whose dreams come true when a former porn star moves in next door, played by “24″ actress Elisha Cuthbert.
• “The Whole Ten Yards” (Crime Comedy): In this “Whole Nine Yards” sequel, the quiet new life of ‘Jimmy the Tulip’ (Bruce Willis) is shaken up by old pal ‘Oz’ (Matthew Perry), whose wife (Natasha Henstridge) has been kidnapped by a Hungarian mob.
• “Ella Enchanted” (Fantasy Romance): Based on the award-winning novel by Gail Carson Levine, this is the story of a young woman (Anne Hathaway) who was given the ‘gift’ of absolute obedience by a magical fairy godmother. But when her inability to disobey threatens to keep her from her true love (Hugh Dancy), she sets out to rid herself of the curse.

NO TRESPASSING:
About 60 people in Sauerland, Germany have written President George W Bush to complain about NASA’s plans for a permanent moon base. In 1997, they bought real estate on the moon from a Nevada entrepreneur for about $25. The complainers worry about having their ‘lunar gardens with defaced space junk’. Several even included a written ban on trespassing. (Hey folks, I’ve got some rocky acreage on Mars you might be interested in …)
– Deutsche Welle news service.

MILITARY LINGO:
No fewer than 4 participants in Washington’s 9/11 hearings have bandied about the phrase ‘hair on fire’. The odd phrase is believed to have originated with US Navy aviators describing hair-raising urgency. Some other military slang that’s made its way into everyday speech …
• ‘Bought the Farm’ – Originated during WWI when families of soldiers killed in combat were given a ‘death benefit’ large enough to buy a parcel of farmland.
• ‘Called on the Carpet’ – At one time only top officers had carpet in their offices and being called before one, generally for a reprimand, was referred to this way.
• ‘Bang for the Buck’ – First used during the Cold War when the Air Force was making the case for ballistic missiles, arguing they could do more damage than an aircraft carrier.
– “Baltimore Sun”

FISH ON A BUN, ANYONE?
The Boston Archdiocese has denied a request from Catholic fans of the Red Sox, asking for special dispensation from the church to allow them to eat meat TODAY, “Good Friday”, which also happens to be their team’s home opener at Fenway Park. The church has ruled that wanting a hot dog at a ball game is too weak an excuse to ignore the no-meat rule. PETA has suggested veggie dogs be offered as an alternative. (We predict there’s gonna be a lot of people at confession next week.)
– FOX News

ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE:
The use of English is slipping among the world’s 15-to-24-year-olds, according to British language consultant David Graddol. Currently, English (with 372 million speakers overall) is second to Chinese (1.1 billion speakers) as the world’s most prevalent language. By 2050, the ranking in the 15-to-24 age group will be – Chinese (166 million),  Hindu/Urdu (73.7 million), Arabic (72.2 million) and English (65 million). (If you’ve been listening awhile, you might have noticed English has been suffering here this morning, too.)
– The journal “Science”.

WHAT WE DO IN THE LOO:
We average about an hour per day or 2 weeks per year in the bathroom. A recent poll sums up some of the things we do there …
• About half of respondents say they read or ‘ponder serious issues’. (Like “Gawd, what did I eat!?!”)
• 33% daydream, sing in the shower, or – talk on the phone. (Tacky tacky tacky!)
• A 3rd of women admit they talk to themselves or ‘admire themselves’. (In the Biblical sense?)
• 22% of men claim they’ve made love in the bathroom. (Just like any other location you could name.)
– National Association for Continence

BS AMAZING FACT:
A recent analysis of 85 years of workplace research findings has revealed that, on average, general mental ability of an employee is far more important than conscientiousness in  determining performance.
– “Washington Post”

THE BULL SHEET 04.09.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [78] Hugh Hefner, Chicago IL, “Playboy” magazine founder  FACTOID: Appropriately, Hef has a species of rabbit named in his honor – ‘sylvilagus palustris hefneri’.

1954 [50] Dennis Quaid, Houston TX, movie actor (“The Alamo”, “Cold Creek Manor”)/ex-Mr Meg Ryan/brother of actor Randy Quaid

1966 [38] Cynthia Nixon, NYC, TV actress (‘Miranda Hobbes’ on “Sex & the City” 1998-2004)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [68] John Madden, Austin MN, NFL analyst with 11 Emmy Awards as ‘Outstanding Sports Personality’ (“ABC Monday Night Football”)/ex-NFL coach (Oakland Raiders 1969-79)  QUOTE: “Boom! Whap! Bang! Doink!”

1951 [53] Steven Seagal, Lansing MI, washed-up action movie actor (“Under Siege”, “On Deadly Ground”)/black belt in judo, kendo & aikido/aspiring singer

1984 [20] Mandy Moore, Nashua NH, pop singer (“Cry”, “Candy”)/movie actress (“A Walk to Remember”, “The Princess Diaries”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Good Friday” (Christian)
• “Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day”

TODAY is “Chicken Little Awareness Day”. Look up. Look waaay up. What d’ya see?

TODAY is “Name Yourself Day”, a day for anybody with a name they hate to tag themselves with a brand new label. Have people with weird names call in, then help re-name them using  the perfect tool – the Internet ‘Random Name Generator’. It kicks out lists of male or female names from actual census polls. You can even set the ‘obscurity factor’.
NET: http://www.kleimo.com/random/name.cfm

TOMORROW is “Golfers Day” honoring everyone who walks a mile chasing the little white ball, on the anniversary of the first PGA championship in 1916. A poll of golfers asks what’s the most annoying item that should be banned from golf courses. The #1 answer is cellphones, detested by 71% of respondents. 41% dislike electronic distance measurers, 11% hate those oversize putters, and 7% are against golf carts.

TOMORROW is “National Siblings Day”, honoring brothers and sisters who are living, those who aren’t – and perhaps those who shouldn’t be.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1914 [90] 1st ‘color movie’ opens, in London UK (“The World, The Flesh & the Devil”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [05] Faith Hill begins 1st solo tour, “Faith Hill’s This Kiss Tour”, in Minneapolis

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1912 [92] 1st baseball game at Boston’s legendary Fenway Park (Red Sox beat Harvard 2-0)

1945 [59] NFL 1st makes socks mandatory for all players (the next season … pants!)

1965 [39] 1st ‘indoor baseball game’ (Houston Astrodome)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [12] ‘Heaviest chocolate Easter egg’ weighs 10,483 lbs, measures over 23′ high (Ringwood, Australia)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Salvation Army Founders Day
[Sun] Easter Sunday
[Sun] National Barbershop Quartet Day
[Sun] Audubon Day
[Mon] Teens Against Zits Day
[Tues] Scrabble Day
[Apr 15] IRS Tax Day
This Week Is . . . Golden Rule Week / Testicular Cancer Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Keep America Beautiful Month / Prevent Injuries America Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BIZARRE PATRONS:

Actual saints, but perhaps lesser known …
• Gengulf – Patron saint of unhappy marriages.
• Apollonia – Patron saint of toothaches.  
• Fiacre – Patron saint of venereal disease and taxi drivers.  
• Vitus – Patron saint of comedians and mental illness.  
• Matthew – Patron saint of accountants.  
• Bernardino of Siena – Patron saint of advertising executives.  
• Luke – Patron saint of butchers.  
• Marin de Porres – Patron saint of hairdressers.  
• Joseph of Arimathea – Patron saint of funeral directors.  
• Bernard of Clairvaux – Patron saint of beekeepers.  
• Sebastian – Patron saint of Neighborhood Watch.

BUZZ INDEX:
The week’s most-searched topics on the Internet …
1. Usher (biggest selling CD of the moment.)
2. Britney Spears (thanks to her tour bus driver being busted?)
3. Internal Revenue Service (April 15th looms large!)
– Yahoo!

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
• All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
• The preceding program is the property of this station and rebroadcast in whole or in part is prohibited … not to mention stupid.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: While 90% of American homes have THIS, only 40% actually ever use it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dental floss.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play. – John Cleese

BS BOUNTY HUNTERS!
We give you ONE MONTH FREE service for each and every new “BS” subscriber you refer.

 


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