Friday, April 3, 2009        Edition: #3989
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

45-year-old movie actor Nicolas Cage (“Knowing”) has sold ‘Schloss Neidstein’, the 28-room Bavarian castle he bought 2 years ago, after his original renovation plan turned out not to be feasible (don’t worry, he still has another: Midford Castle, near Bath UK) . . . Rocker & former reality TV star Travis Barker & his on-and-off wife Shana Moakler have split again, for about the 18th time (surviving a helicopter accident does NOT magically make your relationship work) . . . NBC-TV is said to be considering canceling “My Name Is Earl” due to low ratings & escalating costs, and the show may end up moving to the FOX network (for last rites) . . . Low-rated but critically-acclaimed “Friday Night Lights” (NBC) has officially been renewed for 2 more seasons, perhaps in part due to a half-dozen of the ‘characters’ posting regular updates and responding to fans on Twitter (now it’s a promotional tool!) . . . Profanity-laden, tasteless variety show “The Osbournes: Reloaded” (FOX) doesn’t have another scheduled air date and is in jeopardy after just 1 episode (Tuesday after “American Idol”), apparently due to numerous complaints (they were expecting Emmys?) . . . The FBI is investigating an online leak of an almost-completed version of the upcoming movie “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” (out May1st) which has now been downloaded by an estimated 100,000 users since Tuesday (more likely a well-orchestrated promotion rather than a crime) . . . And 74-year-old movie legend Sophia Loren, a devout Catholic, has quietly written the Vatican in support of the beatification of late pope, John Paul II, who died in 2005 (sexy ‘60s screen siren Sophia is surreptitiously selecting saints).

• “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS) – Sunday Reba McEntire returns to host the 44th annual ACMs as they’re handed out live at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. A few facts …
– The biggest surprise is former Trick Pony singer Heidi Newfield has 5 nominations, most of anyone except Brad Paisley (6).
– Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, George Strait, Keith Urban, and Kenny Chesney are nominated for ‘Entertainer Of the Year’.
– Performances include Miranda Lambert, Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, and Toby Keith.
– LeAnn Rimes will be honored as ‘Humanitarian of the Year’. (For taking care of married men?)
• “Change Begins Within” (NYC) – Saturday Paul McCartney, Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder, Sheryl Crow, Moby, and ‘60s singer Donovan are among those performing at this benefit for the David Lynch Foundation at Radio City Music Hall. The foundation’s goal is to teach 1 million at-risk children … Transcendental Meditation. (Why not something useful like reading … or karate?)
• “Genie Awards” (Global) – Saturday Dave Foley hosts the 29th annual Canadian film awards as they’re handed out at the Canada Aviation Museum in Ottawa. (All the theaters were busy?)
• “NCAA Final Four” (CBS) – The annual college basketball championship is decided at Ford Field in Detroit MI. Winners of Saturday’s semis go on to the championship game Monday night. Other events surrounding the big weekend …
– “The Big Dance”, a 3-day concert series kicking off tonight, includes performances by Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Staind, Gym Class Heroes, and Gavin DeGraw.
– Another set of free concerts, sponsored by CBS and featuring OAR, Train, and Joe Cocker, is being staged at the Fillmore Detroit.
• “MLB Opening Night” (ESPN2) – Sunday the Major League Baseball season opens with the Atlanta Braves playing the reigning World Series champion Phillies in Philadelphia.
• “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction” (Fuse TV) – Saturday the annual ceremony returns to the hall’s Cleveland home after more than a decade-long absence in NYC. This year’s honorees include Metallica (including former bassist Jason Newsted), Run-DMC (inducted by Eminem), Jeff Beck (originally inducted with the Yardbirds, 1992), Little Anthony & The Imperials (inducted by Smokey Robinson) & R&B singer Bobby Womack (inducted by Rolling Stone Ron Wood).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Movie actor Seth Rogen (“Monsters vs Aliens“) hosts; French electro-pop band Phoenix is the musical guest.
• “Spectacle: Elvis Costello With …” (CTV) – Tonight the new talk show debuts, hosted by veteran musician Elvis Costello who’ll interview industry heavyweights. Up first, Elton John.
• “WrestleMania XXV” (PPV) – Sunday the annual WWF pay-per-view event is staged at Reliant Stadium in Houston TX. Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger kicks off the show with the anthem; Kid Rock also performs; AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” and “War Machine” have been named the event’s ‘official theme songs’.

• Coldplay – Bassist Guy Berryman confirms they’re set to begin new recording sessions with producer Brian Eno, who worked on the last album “Viva La Vida or Death & All His Friends”.
• Diana Krall – Tonight the jazz diva performs music from her new album “Quiet Nights” on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• John Mayer – A month after his split with Jennifer Aniston, he’s debuted a new song called “Heartbreak Warfare”, which he plans to record mid-April for his upcoming CD “Battle Studies”.
• The Killers – Tonight they’re on “The Hour” (CBC) with George Stroumboulopoulos.
• Lady GaGa – She’s becomes the first artist in a decade to top the charts with her first 2 singles (“Just Dance”, “Poker Face”). Last to do it: Christina Aguilera in 1999-2000 (“Genie In a Bottle”, “What a Girl Wants”).
• Lily Allen – Tonight the Brit pop star sings “The Fear” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• Martina McBride – This afternoon she plugs her new album “Shine” on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show (syndicated/A Channel).
• Miley Cyrus – Tonight she promotes “Hannah Montana: The Movie” (opening April 10th) on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Rihanna – Pop artist Sham has taken her now infamous leaked police photo and reproduced it in differing colors in a 4-panel, Andy Warhol-esque painting entitled “Disturbia”.


• “Adventureland” ( R-Rated Comedy ): In the summer of 1987, a recent college grad (Jesse Eisenberg) takes a nowhere job at his local amusement park, only to find it’s the perfect place to get him prepared for the real world. Co-stars Kristen Stewart (Twilight”) & Ryan Reynolds (“Definitely, Maybe”). Shot at Kennywood Amusement Park in West Mifflin PA.
• “Fast & Furious” ( PG-13 Action ): Vin Diesel & Paul Walker return in this 4th film in the street racing series. This time their feud is reignited back in Los Angeles, where a crime has pitted them against one another yet again. Also returning from the original 2001 film: Michelle Rodriguez & Jordana Brewster. (Is this the sequel that should have been made in 2003?)

The winner of the annual “Diagram Prize” for ‘Oddest Book Title Of the Year’ is “The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-Milligram Containers of Fromage Frais”. The study into the future of the diary product’s packaging scored 32% of the total online votes, beating out runners-up “Baboon Metaphysics”, “Curbside Consultation Of the Colon”, and “Strip & Knit with Style”. (The winning entry is not only oddly titled but also a natural cure for insomnia.)

Just in time for baseball season, here’s a review of heckling technique from Utah sportswriter Patrick Kinahan. Among his tips …
• Never heckle with a mouthful of food.
• Double-check all spelling on your signs.
• Anything that involves racial slurs or a player’s family is out of line.
• Keep it simple … remember, you’re dealing with athletes.
– “Salt Lake Tribune“


University of Texas economist Daniel Hamermesh & Michigan State professor Jeff Biddle have released details of extensive research conducted in Canada, China, and the United States which they claim shows conclusively that beautiful people earn more money than the rest of us. The study suggests that those in the top 30% in the looks department earn between 3-and-5% more than those in the middle 60%. But people in the bottom 10% do even worse … the ugly earn up to 10% less than average. And the effects are greater for men than for women. (No wonder I’m always broke.)

• Toronto, Ontario was the first city in the world with a computerized traffic signal system.
• Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on 2 continents (Europe & Asia).
• Nottingham, England was the first city to have Braille signs for the blind in its shopping malls.
• Las Vegas, Nevada has the most hotel rooms of any city in the world.
• The city of Seoul has been the capital of Korea for more than 600 years.
• Davao City, the Philippines is the largest city in the world in terms of area.
• Montréal, Québec is the world’s 2nd-largest French-speaking city after Paris, France.
• Detroit, Michigan has more registered bowlers than any city in America and likely the world.


1951 [58] Mick Mars (Robert Deal), Terre Haute IN, rock guitarist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, Dr Feegood”)

1958 [51] Alec Baldwin, Massapequa NY, TV actor (‘Jack Donaghy’ on “30 Rock” since 2006)/movie actor (“My Best Friend’s Girl”, The Departed”)/ex-Mr Kim Basinger 1993-2002

1961 [48] Eddie Murphy, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Dreamgirls”, “Shrek”)/former TV comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 1980-84)

1982 [27] Cobie (Jacoba) Smulders, Vancouver BC, TV actress (‘Robin Scherbatsky’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005)

1985 [24] Leona Lewis, London UK, pop singer (“I Will Be”, “Bleeding Love”)/winner of Simon Cowell’s ”X Factor” talent show in Britain (2006)

1986 [23] Amanda Bynes, Thousand Oaks CA, movie actress (“Hairspray”, “What a Girl Wants”)

Movie actor Robert Downey Jr (“Iron Man”) is 44; Movie actor Barry Pepper (“Seven Pounds”) is 39; Magician David Blaine is 36; Rock singer Josh Todd (Buckcherry) is 35; MLB player Scott Rolen (Toronto Blue Jays) is 34; NHL goalie Roberto Luongo (Vancouver Canucks) is 30; TV actress Jamie Lynn Spears (“Zoey 101”) is 18.

Rock guitarist Mike McCready (Pearl Jam) is 43; Country singer Troy Gentry (Montgomery Gentry) is 42; Rapper-producer Pharrell Williams (The Neptunes) is 36.

• “Alcohol Free Weekend”, thanks to the National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence … who apparently won’t be going to any “Final Four” parties.
• “Armenian Appreciation Day”, honoring the small country bordering the Black Sea which most recently re-gained its independence in 1991. It’s history of invasion and genocide led to a diaspora in which Armenians fled and settled around-the-world. Check out the ‘Armenian Hall of Fame’ here …
• “Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day”, an annual observance encouraging us to lighten up at the office and actually enjoy work, not just endure it. (Party in the conference room!)
• “Hospital Admitting Clerks Day”, saluting those always smiling, always helpful frontline personnel at your local medical facility. (“Just wait over there until you hear your name called … about a month from now.”)
• “Walk to Work Day”, observed annually on the first Friday of April. If it’s too far, walk during lunch or another time of the day. The goal is to walk 30 minutes a day to ease stress and improve fitness.

• “Ballroom Dancing Day”, celebrating the activity that’s hot once again thanks to TV shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”.
• “International Day for Landmine Awareness & Assistance”. Unfortunately, participation in this will cost you an arm and a leg.

• “Equal Pay Day”, promoting equal pay for equal work no matter the gender, age, or ethnicity of the worker.
• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, git ‘r done, all or nothing, start giving 110%, let ‘er rip, balls to the wall!
• “Make Your Children Laugh Day”, because it’s a helluva lot easier than making adults laugh.
• “Road Map Day”, the highlight of “Reading a Road Map Week”, which promotes map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and a survival skill for drivers. (With the advent of GPS, Mapquest, and Google Maps, this may become a lost art!)

1953 [56] First edition of “TV Guide” is published (on the cover: Lucille Ball’s new baby, Desi Arnaz Jr)

1973 [36] Motorola engineer Martin Cooper (inventor of the portable cellphone) places the 1st-ever cellular phone call to his biggest rival, the head of research at Bell Laboratories (quote: “Neener, neener, neener!”)

1981 [28] One-legged Arnie Boldt of Saskatoon high-jumps 6′-8 1/4” (now in Canadian Sports Hall of Fame)

1984 [25] Opening of Lulu’s Roadhouse with ‘World’s Longest Bar’ at 340 feet (Kitchener ON)

1985 [24] Vic Elliot pockets 15,780 pool balls in 24 hours in London UK

2007 [02] An official new world record for conventional-train speed of 574.8 km/h (357.2 mph) is set by a French TGV train east of Paris


[Mon] Toronto Blue Jays home opener
[Mon] MLB Opening Day
[Mon] Tartan Day
[Mon] Teflon Day
[Mon] Drowsy Driver Awareness Day
[Tues] Metric System Day
[Tues] No Housework Day
[Tues] World Health Day
This Week Is … Library Week
This Month Is … Anxiety Month


• Kick-Fencing
• Supersoaker Trap Shooting
• Goat Rodeo
• Hopping
• Pinching
• The Clove Throw
• Awfulminton
• Strollerderby
– Thanks to Eric McHenry

What pet names do your kids use for you, other than ‘mom’ and ‘dad’?

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.


Today’s Question: As of last year, 150 million people were actively using THIS on a regular basis.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Facebook, now the web’s #1 social networking site.


For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

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