Monday, April 6, 2009        Edition: #3990
Good Morning, Sheetheads!


WEEKEND BLOG BS:

• Pablo Escobar Jr, son of the late Colombian drug cartel legend, is re-branding the family name with a reality TV show and a planned ‘Escobar’ fashion label. (Featuring pants with hidden pockets on the inside.)
– PopBitch.com
• All booze has been banned from the Bray, Ireland set of “The Tudors” (BBC/Showtime/CBC) in a bid to help star Jonathan Rhys Meyers beat his addictions. The ‘King Henry VIII’ actor is said to have just completed a month-long stint at a UK rehab center in February to treat alcohol abuse. He previously underwent a recovery program in 2007. But his publicist insists his current illness has nothing to do with past drinking problems. (That’s because it has do with PRESENT drinking problems.)
– DailyStar.co.uk
• Remember Paris Hilton’s ill-fated pop career in 2006, when she released her debut album to mixed reviews and meager sales? Now her 19-year-old little brother Barron is aiming to become a singer/songwriter because he’s – quote – sick of only being famous because of his surname. He’s lining up a reality TV show deal to document his progress. He says it’s going to be like “The Hills” only real. (Nice to see he’s shares his sister’s penchant for not letting lack of talent get in the way.)
– PageSix.com
• Former “Jackass” stuntman Steve-O is battling back injury in agony because he’s afraid taking painkillers could ruin his recovery from drug addiction. He was diagnosed with a hematoma last month after taking a tumble while rehearsing for “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC). He’s convinced it’s too soon to take any medication as he just celebrated his 1-year anniversary of sobriety in March. (If last week’s 15 score on “DWTS” is any indication, he may be able to lie down and relax really soon.)
– ContactMusic.com
• Oscar-nominated actress Anne Hathaway (“Rachel Getting Married”) has reportedly struck a deal with designer Marc Jacobs that may eventually see her replace Victoria Beckham as the face of the fashion label. Although she hasn’t yet signed to do advertising, the designer has agreed to dress her for red carpet appearances, thereby giving his line a fresh famous face. Insiders say an ad deal is likely the next step. (Beckham can still get work posing as a tent pole.)
– MailOnSunday.co.uk
• 41-year-old Brazilian-born dancer/choreographer Alex Da Silva, who’s been featured on “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX) was arrested Saturday on suspicion of sexually assaulting 4 of his students. He was taken into custody after teaching a dance class at a Hollywood studio and is currently being held on $3.8 million bail. He’s scheduled to make his first court appearance Tuesday. (His flimsy defense will involve the old adage “It takes two to tango.”)
– StarPulse.com
• 30-year-old movie actress Michelle Rodriguez is complaining that her characters always get killed off in movies, including all 3 films she appears in this year – the weekend-opening “Fast & Furious”, the sci-fi adventure “Avatar”, and the historical drama “Tropico de Sangre”. (Now the respective producers are ready to kill her for spoiling them all!)
– Latina.com
• 62-year-old cancer-stricken actress Farrah Fawcett has been admitted to a Los Angeles hospital in critical condition. The former “Charlie’s Angels” TV star (1976-80) is said to be unconscious but stable. Former partner Ryan O’Neal is said to be at her bedside as well as their 24-year-old son Redmond, who quit a California rehab center Wednesday after apparently failing a drug test. Fawcett, first diagnosed with cancer in 2006, recently returned from experimental stem-cell treatment in Germany.
– People.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• Chris Brown – His once-delayed arraignment on 2 felony counts of assault and making criminal threats stemming from his February 8th fight with Rihanna is scheduled for today in Los Angeles Superior Court … barring another ‘continuance’ filing from his lawyer.
• Flight Of the Conchords  – The New Zealand musical comedy duo kicks off an extensive North American tour in Tampa FL.
• “George Strait – ACM Artist Of the Decade, An All Star Concert Special“ – A TV special honoring the ‘King of Country’ is being taped at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Among those performing: Alan Jackson, Brooks & Dunn, Faith Hill, Keith Urban, Lee Ann Womack, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Toby Keith & Tim McGraw. The salute airs May 27th (CBS).
• “The Hills” (MTV) – The 10-episode 5th (and perhaps final) season premieres. Speculation is that MTV will either end the show afterward or at least give the show’s cast and focus a significant shake-up.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Diana Krall – She plugs her new album “Quiet Nights” on “The Hour” (CBC).
• 50 Cent – A snitch claims he does not write his own Twitter updates … his business manager does. (Rap stars keepin’ it real, man.)
• Madonna – She reportedly flew out of Malawi on a private jet yesterday after being denied an interim adoption of 4-year-old Mercy James on Friday. The bid was supposedly rejected due to a requirement that prospective parents be resident in Malawi for 18 months prior to adoption. (Which didn’t apply in the case of David Banda because … ?)
• Michael Jackson – He’s lost his battle to stop an auction of items from his Neverland Ranch. A massive inventory including the front gates to the estate are due to go under the hammer April 22nd. (Lesson learned: Don’t sign the papers if you think you’re going to change your mind.)
• Miley Cyrus – She guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel).
• New Kids On the Block – They’re featured on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• Razorlight – The Anglo-Swedish indie rockers perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Soulja Boy – His Friday night concert at the University of Minnesota Duluth was picketed by a slew of students protesting ‘degrading lyrics’.
• Whitney Houston – In his new autobiography, “Preacher Of the Streets”, former gang member David Collins claims the once prominent pop diva was coerced into paying a $400,000 ransom to kidnappers who snatched her then-husband Bobby Brown in 1993. The kidnaping was never reported to police. (Talk about over-paying!)

YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• Last week a woman who called the 9-1-1 emergency number in Kissimmee FL frantically informed the dispatcher she was locked … inside her car. While parked at a suburban drug store, she reported the vehicle wouldn’t start; nothing electrical worked; and the interior was getting very hot. After the dispatcher asked if she was able to manually pull the lock up, the woman promised to try and quickly verified she got the door open. (Magician David Blaine is now considering her for his next TV special.)
– McClatchy-Tribune News
• A Chinese man has been treated in a hospital emergency room after somehow managing to swallow … a pair of 4-inch-long scissors. Apparently he’d been using them as a toothpick when a friend made him laugh and the shears slipped down his throat and stuck in his esophagus. Fortunately surgeons were able to remove them within 30 minutes. (Safety tip: Never cut up when someone’s cutting up.)
– “The Telegraph”
• Romania is set to follow the leads of France, Spain, and Portugal in making incest laws LESS restrictive. In those countries consensual ‘relations’ between adult relatives is legal. A Romanian Justice Ministry spokesman contends that not everything that’s immoral needs to be illegal. After all, he says, you can’t help these people by turning them into criminals and punishing them. (In related news, Romania is considering changing its name to West Virginia.)
– AP

PARTS DEPARTMENT:

A recent study has found that women generally have less self-esteem than men when they look in the mirror … at any single body part.  (Particularly the moustache.)
– “Glamour“

CAT SCRATCH FEVER:
Pet allergies are more common than you might think, according to Sandra Diaz, assistant professor of dermatology at the Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine. While data for cats doesn’t exist, it’s estimated that about 10% of dogs have allergies. The most common is a reaction to fleas. Animals typically don’t respond with runny noses or watery eyes, but instead get itchy skin that they lick or bite. Unfortunately, animal allergies can’t be cured; they can only be managed to improve the pet’s quality of life. (Ever get the feeling your cat is allergic to you?)
– CNN

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to scientists at the University of Vienna, people born in April grow taller than people born in October.
– “The Sun”
• The human body produces about 350 miles of hair in a lifetime.
– Nation.com
• The Australian walking fish can not only survive without water, it can also climb trees to feed on insects.
– JungleWalk.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“I decided to call the album ‘Fearless’ because there was a song on the album called ‘Fearless’ so that was sort of where I got the name from.”
– Taylor Swift, revealing the terrific toil and depth of thinking that goes into naming an album.

BS CHRONOMETER 04.06.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [72] Merle Haggard, Bakersfield CA, country legend with 38 #1 hits (“Okie from Muskogee”, “If We Make It Through December”)/Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award (2006)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1994)

1942 [67] Barry Levinson, Baltimore MD, movie producer/director (Academy Award-“Rain Man”, “Diner”)

1969 [40] Paul Rudd, Passaic NJ, movie actor (“I Love You, Man”, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)

1975 [34] Zach Braff, South Orange NJ, TV actor (‘Dr JD Dorian’ on “Scrubs” since 2001)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Drowsy Driver Awareness Day”, an annual initiative begun in California to encourage motorists to take notice when they’re too sleepy to steer. According to a recent poll, more than 10% of drivers admit to having fallen asleep at the wheel; and over 20% say they’ve momentarily dozed while driving. According to the same survey, these are the …
TOP TACTICS USED TO FIGHT DROWSY DRIVING:
• Stop driving or switch drivers (60%).
• Open windows or turn on air conditioning (59%).
• Listen to radio or recorded music (58%).
• Stop to eat or drink (46%).
• Consume caffeine (42%).
• Talk or sing to self (32%).
• Splash water on face (18%).
• Slap, hit, or pinch self (a self-abusive 16%).

• “Major League Baseball Opening Day” (the season opening game was played in Philadelphia last night). Thanks to the recession, odds are your favorite team is offering bargains for the hard-pressed consumer. MLB has already estimated that overall attendance will drop some 6% this season. Among the unique promotions attempting to lure fans: ‘mini flex-packs’ of tickets (pick a series of specific games you want to attend), ‘dynamic ticket pricing’ (single-game ticket cost varies depending on weather, opponent’s record, demand, etc), ‘all-you-can-eat seats’ (snacks included), even ticket prices based on the latest stock market average (Minnesota).

• “Tartan Day”, the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320, a day set aside for the celebration of Scottish influence. More practically, it’s now the day that officially kicks off the annual Scottish tourism season.
NET: http://tartanday.org

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1886 [123] City of Vancouver is incorporated (and begins building Olympic Village for 2010)

1930 [79] ‘Hostess Twinkies’ are invented by bakery executive James Dewar to make use of small baking pans that remain in storage much of the year

1938 [71] ‘Teflon’ coating accidentally invented by Du Pont researcher Roy Plunkett (how do they get it to stick to a frying pan?)

1980 [29] 1st ‘Post-It Notes’ (a 3M product designed to eventually block any sight of your computer monitor)

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Tues] Metric System Day
[Tues] No Housework Day
[Tues] World Health Day
[Wed] Passover begins at sundown (Jewish)
[Thurs] Full ‘Pink’ Moon
[Fri] Good Friday (Christian)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Explore Your Career Options / Holy Week (Christian) / International Pooper-Scooper Week / Medication Safety Week / Public Health Week / Testicular Cancer Awareness Week / Week Of the Ocean / Women’s Nutrition Week / Work Zone Safety Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WORLD’S DUMBEST BS INVENTIONS:
• Downhill Stair Master
• Frictionless Sandpaper
• Glow-In-the-Dark Sundial
• Imitation Cubic Zirconia
• Impact-Triggered Parachute
• Toupee Chin Strap
• Aircraft Air Bag
• All-Terrain Roller Blades
• Camouflage Billboard
• Refrigerator Cat Flap
• Diet Celery

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• How many individual countries are there in the ‘G20′?
a. 19 [CORRECT. The 20th member is the European Union, which is represented as a bloc.]
b. 20
c. 11

• When photographing a group of heads of state, international protocol dictates that the host should stand in the center at the front. Who should be next to the host?
a. The leaders of the biggest countries.
b. The longest-serving leaders. [CORRECT]
c. The best-looking leaders.
– “The Guardian”

BS PHONE STARTER:
For the past 4-and-a-half years “Lost” (ABC) has attracted one of TV’s most diehard followings. So tell us fans, how would you like “Lost” to end?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Everyone’s heard of THIS but only about 17% of us have ever eaten it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Caviar.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Not all people are annoying. Some are dead.


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