Thursday, April 23, 2009        Edition: #4003
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

19-year-old “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson has finally revealed she has a boyfriend, 27-year-old financier Jay Barrymore, who’s been spotted on the Scottish set of “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”, the final installment of the film franchise (cradle robber!) . . . A survey of some 3,000 film fans to find the all-time ‘Ultimate Natural Beauty’ has been topped by Oscar-winner Kate Winslet (“The Reader”), just ahead of late screen icon Audrey Hepburn (“Breakfast At Tiffany’s”) . . . “The Lost Symbol”, a new thriller by “Da Vinci Code” author Dan Brown will be published September 15th, with a huge initial print run of 6.5 million copies (the movie version of his “Angels & Demons” opens May 15th) . . . The widow of “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry (died 1991) has reportedly left a substantial portion of the sci-fi mogul’s fortune to their pets, with $4 million earmarked for the family dogs & $1 million to a domestic employee charged with looking after them (because, in the mind of the uber-wealthy, animals are worth 4-times more than the help) . . . “Early Show” anchor & “Big Brother” host Julie Chen is expecting her first child via – her boss – CBS-TV head honcho Les Moonves (hasn’t he heard you should never dip your pen in company ink?) . . . The new TV game show “The Superstars” (debuting June 23rd on ABC) will pair sports pros (Terrell Owens, Jennifer Capriati, Jeff Kent, etc) with C-list celebs (David Charvet, Estella Warren, Ali Landry, etc) in weekly athletic competitions such as swimming, cycling, and kayaking (it’s “Paddling With the Stars”) . . . And Justin Timberlake is producing a new game show for MTV called “On The Phone” in which contestants compete using their cellphones (proposed contests: simultaneously phone, text & walk across an intersection; see who can ignore family longest while texting; answer a call during a funeral, etc).


• “Billboard Latin Music Awards” – Tonight the 11th annual are handed out in Miami FL. Flex leads the field with nominations in a whopping 13 categories.
• “Dove Awards” – The 40th annual awards from the Gospel Music Association are handed out at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville TN. Country nominees include George Strait, Randy Travis, and former Lonestar member Richie McDonald.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Prince performs.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Rush appears in a rerun show.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Depeche Mode shuts down LA’s Hollywood Boulevard for an outdoor performance, promoting their just-released 12th studio album “Sounds Of the Universe”.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Martina McBride plugs her latest album “Shine”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The Dead (reincarnated Grateful Dead) are on.
• “Survivor: Tocantins” (CBS/Global) – Entrepreneur Brendan Synnott, who was voted off last week, has a new company called ‘Evol Burritos’. He’s giving away free burritos (via online coupon) until ‘Coach’ Wade gets kicked off the show. Brendan’s previous business ventures include ‘Bear Naked Granola’.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Beyoncé is a guest.

• Amy Winehouse – Rumor has she’s looking to adopt a child. (Let’s hope it’s just a rumor!)
• Foo Fighters – Frontman Dave Grohl & wife Jordyn Blum welcomed their 2nd daughter last week, whom they named ‘Harper Willow’. (Surprisingly normal for a celebrity baby!)
• Martina McBride – The “Ride” singer is partnering with California’s Blackbird Vineyards on an exclusive red wine as part its signature series. The Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot/Cabernet Franc blend features her stamped autograph and is available through her website for – whoa! – $60 a bottle. (But it’s said to go perfect with grits.)
• Taylor Swift – Tonight the top-selling singer of 2008 kicks off her first-ever headlining tour in Evansville IN. The support act for the 50-city “Fearless Tour” is Taylor’s good friend, fellow country singer & former “American Idol” finalist Kellie Pickler.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Fighter” – Christian Bale & Mark Wahlberg have signed up to co-star as half-brothers in this upcoming boxing drama. Bale plays the older sib, who’s looking for redemption from a life of drugs & crime by helping his li’l bro’ win the world lightweight championship. Matt Damon & Brad Pitt were originally lined up for the roles. Production is scheduled to begin in July.
• “Footloose” – The planned remake of the 1984 Kevin Bacon musical is in jeopardy due to actor Chace Crawford’s commitment to “Gossip Girl” (CW). Though he’s in final negotiations to replace initial star Zac Efron (who dropped out), he’s already contracted to shoot another season of the TV show at the same time. The remake’s currently scheduled to open in 2010.
• “Get Him To the Greek” – Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is set to appear in this Judd Apatow-produced spin-off of the comedy “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. He’ll have the role of ‘Sergio’, an executive who owns a record label (how to stretch those acting chops!). Elisabeth Moss (“Mad Men”) co-stars, alongside Jonah Hill & Russell Brand from the original film. Release is scheduled for April 2010.
• “London Boulevard” – Ray Winstone (“Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”) & Keira Knightley (“Atonement”) are set to play an ex-con and a reclusive actress, the unlikely lovers in this new gangster flick that also features Colin Farrell (“In Bruges”) & Anna Friel (“Pushing Daisies”). It’s the directorial debut for screenwriter William Monahan (“The Departed”).
• “The Men At the Pru” – The first feature film creation of TV production team Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant (“The Office”, “Extras”) has already landed Ralph Fiennes (“Schindler’s List“) as its lead. The Oscar-nominated actor will take on an as-yet-unnamed part in this comedy that’s set in the 1970s. The picture’s set to start shooting later this year.


Relatives of an eccentric dumpster diver from a small town in northern Sweden were shocked to learn when he recently died that he was a self-made millionaire. ‘Tin-Can Curt’ spent every day of the last 30 years of his life cycling around his town collecting empty cans. He combined his hard work with a good head for investment and parlayed the modest income into an $8-million mutual fund, $2-million in gold bars, a fully paid-off house, and a pile of extra cash in a bank account. (Today’s career advice for the recently downsized.)
– “Curious Times”


According to experts, the ‘perfect phone call’ should last precisely 9 minutes, 36 seconds. After analyzing what more than 2,000 people like and/or dislike about talking on the phone, the ideal call can be broken down this way …
• 3 Minutes … News of Family & Friends.
• 1 Minute, 42 Seconds … Laughter.
• 1 Minute … Personal Problems.
• 1 Minute … Work/School.
• 1 Minute … Other General Topics.
• 42 Seconds … Current Affairs.
• 24 Seconds … Weather.
• 24 Seconds … Opposite Sex.
• 12 Seconds … Celebrity Gossip.
• 12 Seconds … Silence.
(How about your perfect call? 2 minutes heavy breathing …)
– “The Telegraph”

It’s been 5 years since Portugal decriminalized the use of marijuana, cocaine, heroin, and LSD and the results of that policy are now reviewed in a new report from a Washington DC libertarian think-tank. The number of street drug overdoses in the country has dropped by 28%; and the number of new cases of HIV caused by dirty needles has dropped by 73%. The Portuguese plan still imposes jail time for drug dealers but those in possession of small amounts of drugs for personal use are brought before a ‘Dissuasion Commission’ which imposes small fines and offers treatment options to users. (It seems to work but … isn’t this like giving fat people food?)
– “Scientific American”


• Illegal file-sharing traffic continues to dwarf online traffic from legitimate music sales by an estimated ratio of 19-to-1.
– “Billboard”
• About 1-in-30 people suffers from agoraphobia, the abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas.
– BBC News


1954 [55] Michael Moore, Flint MI, documentary filmmaker (“Sicko”, 2004 Golden Palm Award-“Fahrenheit 9/11”, 2003 Oscar-“Bowling For Columbine”)

1961 [48] George Lopez, Mission Hills CA, standup comedian (“America’s Mexican”)/TV actor (“George Lopez” 2002-07)/movie actor (“Swing Vote”, “Beverly Hills Chihuahua”)

1967 [42] Melina Kanakaredes, Akron OH, TV actress (‘Detective Stella Bonasera on “CSI: NY” since 2004)

1974 [35] Carlos D (Dengler), Queens NY, rock musician (Interpol-“The Heinrich Maneuver”, “Slow Hands”)

1977 [32] Willie Mitchell, Port McNeill BC, NHL defenceman (Vancouver Canucks)

1977 [32] Kal Penn (Modi), Montclair NJ, former TV actor (“House MD”)/former movie actor (“Harold & Kumar” films) who’s now a White House aide (Associate Director of the Office Of Public Liaison)

1990 [19] Dev Patel, Harrow UK, movie actor (“Slumdog Millionaire”)


• ”International Day Of the Book”, declared annually by UNESCO to promote reading & books on the death anniversary of both William Shakespeare & Miguel de Cervantes in 1616. In Spain, it’s celebrated as “Lover’s Day”, the Spanish equivalent of Valentines Day, when women give books to men and men give roses to women. In Canada, it’s observed as “Canada Book Day”, organized by the Writers’ Trust. The surrounding week is celebrated as “Canada Book Week”.

• “Plumbers Day”, honoring the trades people with great pipes. In celebration, let’s all do the plumber’s salute: okay, drop your pants … 2 inches.

• “Spring Cat Cleaning Day”, a day to give your cat a bath. Be careful!

• “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”, observed annually on the 4th Thursday of April, when we’re encouraged to bring our 8-to-18 year-old offspring to the workplace to gain firsthand experience of life in the work world. (What would be the worst career for a student to be stuck observing for the day? Teacher.)

• “World Laboratory Day”, celebrating the place where great discoveries, inventions, and medical cures are born. (Also where mad scientists dwell.)


1896 [113] 1st ‘Motion Picture’ shown to the general public (a Vitascope system is used to project a film onto a screen in a demonstration at Koster & Bials Music Hall in NYC)

1956 [53] Elvis Presley 1st appearance in Las Vegas (audiences are unimpressed and the 2-week engagement is cancelled after a single week)

1988 [21] After spending a record total of 741 consecutive weeks (over 14 years) on the ‘Billboard 200′, Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side Of the Moon” album finally exits the chart


1964 [45] 1st MLB no-hitter pitched for a loss (Cincinnati Reds beat Astros’ pitcher Ken Johnson 1-0 on 2 costly Houston errors)


1969 [40] John Sinclair completes record walk of 215 miles in 48 hours … non-stop!

[Fri] Arbor Day
[Fri] Hairball Awareness Day
[Fri] “Fighting”, “Obsessed”, “The Soloist” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Red Hat Society Day
[Sat] Bulldogs are Beautiful Day
[Sat] World Tai Chi Day
[Sun] Hug an Australian Day
This Week Is … Canada-US Goodwill Week
This Month Is … Thai Heritage Month


Baby oil isn’t just for babies, it’s useful all around the house. For instance …
• Use it to remove latex paint from your hands.
• Helps remove rings that are stuck on fingers.
• Rub a little bit around band-aids to gently remove them without pain.
• Perfect for quieting squeaky door hinges.
• Removes chewing gum that’s stuck on kids’ faces, hair, and hands.
• Good to shave with! When shaving legs it leaves them super smooth.
• Mix with a few drops of lemon juice for a furniture polish.
• Makes an excellent make-up remover.
• Put a little on your finger and rub it on stubborn price stickers to remove them from new glassware or plastic coated books.
• Leather bags and shoes can be kept supple and waterproof with a little baby oil.

San Francisco-based website “Legacy Locker” is touted as a safe, secure repository for your ‘digital property’ that lets you grant friends and loved ones access to your ‘online assets’ in the event of your death or disability. It charges circa $30-a-year to maintain your files, then requires a copy of your death certificate before releasing the info. Our favorite feature on the site is the handy click-on button to … ‘Report a Passing’.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage … and half shut afterwards.

Colorado Gators Farm in Moosca CO began in 1977 as a fish farm to raise Tilapia. The first alligators were brought in as ‘garbage disposals’ for dead fish. Now it’s home to the only ‘Alligator Wrestling School’ in North America (maybe the world?), offering hands-on, half-day classes where you learn to wrassle 2-to-10 foot reptiles. So what’s the secret of breaking free from a ‘death roll’?
PHONER: 719-378-2612

Today’s Question: By the time a kid graduates from high school, he or she will have done THIS over a thousand times.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Eaten a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.


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