Monday, April 27, 2009        Edition: #4005
Avoid Sheet Fits – Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription!

• “The Hills” stars Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt finally walked down the aisle for real Saturday in Pasadena CA. The couple staged a bogus ceremony in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico in November but this one was for real, as witnessed by the likes of Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, and Michael Buble, who attended the lavish reception at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. A rep for the couple has confirmed the wedding was genuine and that it was filmed for an episode of “The Hills”. (Thank goodness! We were worried they were actually doing something sincere.)
– “In Touch”
• 23-year-old former “OC” star Mischa Barton, who left the show in 2006 to pursue a (mediocre) movie career, is now heading back to TV. She’ll play a NYC-based model in “A Beautiful Life“ (CW). The show’s producer, Ashton Kutcher, and real-life model Elle MacPherson also appear in the pilot episode. Barton describes it as ‘a younger version’ of “Sex & the City”. (Meow!)
• A woman who claims she was sexually harassed then fired from the TV show “Lost” is suing ABC-TV and actor Henry Ian Cusick (‘Desmond Hume’). The suit claims Cusick ‘fondled’ the woman’s buttocks & breasts and kissed her on the lips in 2007. But when she reported the incident to her supervisor she was simply told to avoid the actor; then 12 days later she was fired. The filing says the woman had worked for ABC for 10 years before the incident. (Why did it take 2 years to get PO-ed about getting groped?)
• Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has fallen off the 2009 ‘Rich List’, the annual ranking of the wealthiest Brits published in the “Sunday Times”, as his personal wealth plummeted over the past year. But he’s not the only one to lose big-time. Even the list’s top dog, steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal lost 61% of his fortune. He’s now forced to struggle on with just £10.9 billion. Oil magnate & Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich came in 2nd, despite a drop in total wealth fell from £11.7 billion to £7 billion. Virgin boss Sir Richard Branson doesn’t even make the top 25 with his paltry £1.2 billion-fortune, which is down 56%. (Thanks in part to the failure of his record store chain in North America.)
• OJ Simpson’s long-time ex-girlfriend, Christie Prody, is writing a book. In it, she will reportedly claim that ‘The Juice’ confessed to her about murdering his wife Nicole in 1994. (Is this a smart idea? Better hide the silverware, girl!)
• Saturday 42-year-old actress Salma Hayek & her 46-year-old husband Francois-Henri Pinault renewed their wedding vows in a star-studded ceremony at the La Fenice opera house in Venice. The couple first wed in intimate nuptials in Paris on Valentine’s Day but decided to stage a 2nd wedding for family & friends. Among them: Penelope Cruz, Ashley Judd, Antonio Banderas, Charlize Theron, U2’s Bono, Vogue editor Anna Wintour, and Hayek’s ex-boyfriend Edward Norton. The wedding concluded a weekend of celebrations that included a rehearsal dinner and a masked ball on Friday. (That $25,000-ceremony for your daughter that you spent 5 years paying off? Piece of crap.)

• “The Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – The Decemberists (“Hazards of Love”) are guests.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The musical guest is Franz Ferdinand (“No You Girls“).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – UK alt-rocker Morrissey is on.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – All-American Rejects (“Gives You Hell”) perform.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Leno’s back after spending 24 hours in an LA hospital suffering from suspected dehydration. Last Thursday’s taping was cancelled as he was feeling unwell. He was later admitted to hospital for observation, then discharged late Friday. Initial speculation was that he’d contracted food poisoning.

• Aerosmith – They’ve settled a lawsuit filed by fans over a cancelled 2007 concert in Hawaii. As part of the deal, concert-goers’ travel costs, handling fees, and other expenses incurred by the cancellation will be reimbursed. The band will also play a show in Maui, giving all original ticket-holders free entry. It will likely take place in September or October after the band wraps its North American tour.
• Akon – He checks into hotels as ‘Mr Senegal’.
• DMX – He’s signed up to appear on the reality TV show “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew” (VH1) … when he gets out of prison. He’s currently serving time at Tent City Jail in Arizona for drug possession, animal cruelty, and theft, but is due to be released on Thursday.
• Katy Perry – She’s confirmed she’s back together with Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy after deciding to give their relationship another go.
• Rihanna – She’s seeking the return of $1.4-million-worth of jewelry she was wearing the night she was allegedly beaten by Chris Brown. A pair of earrings and 3 rings were seized as evidence by the LAPD. A motion from her attorney suggests that photos of the bling can be used if the case ever goes to trial.
• Tragically Hip – Tonight they kick off their “We Are The Same” North American tour in Kitchener ON. The shows are be “An Evening With…”, 2-set affairs with no support acts.

Dan & Alysa Binder have taken an idea for transporting their Jack Russell Terrier in style and developed it into a business. ‘Pet Airways’ is the first airline exclusively dedicated to pets … no humans allowed. The carrier offers first-class travel for ‘pawsengers’ on its fleet of 20 planes and promises that flight attendants care for them as if they were their own. Flights between several US cities start at $149. (If there’s ever a mid-air collision it’ll be raining cats and dogs.)


Most scientists agree that the average human should be able to live to age 90 (you have to have won the genetic lottery to live to 100). But the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention pegs life expectancy in the US at 78. In Canada it’s 81. Somewhere along the line, we’re losing about a dozen years. Where’s it going? The experts say most of them are lost to costly and potentially preventable chronic diseases such as heart attacks, diabetes, and cancer. (What we want to know is how a criminal who’s sentenced to ‘life’ gets out in 4 years.)

Based on concert grosses, merchandise revenue, album sales, and income from endorsement & licensing deals since June 2008, and including projected earnings through May 2009 …
5. (Tie) Brooks & Dunn / Tim McGraw … $16 million apiece.
4. Taylor Swift … $18 million.
3. Toby Keith … $52 million.
2. Rascal Flatts … $60 million.
1. Kenny Chesney … $65 million.
– “Forbes Magazine”


British researchers have discovered that lonely sheep can be made happier by showing them pictures of their friends & family. In a study carried out at the Babraham Institute in Cambridge, stress levels in sheep were monitored while they were kept in a darkened barn and shown various pictures. The results show the sheep became noticeably less stressed and exhibited fewer signs of agitation when they were shown photos of faces of familiar sheep. (Rams got really happy when shown ewes without their wool.)
– “The Telegraph”

Biodynamic farming, pioneered by Rudolf Steiner in the 1920s, is similar to organic farming except sowing & planting is based on the phases of the Moon. Since the 1950s, German great-grandmother Maria Thun has published the ‘Biodynamic Sowing & Planting Calendar’ which categorizes days by plant parts. It’s said that wine tastes best on ‘fruit days’, followed by ‘flower days’, ‘leaf days’, and ‘root days’. Why would wine taste differently from day-to-day? Thun’s theory is that it’s a living organism that responds to the Moon’s rhythms in the same way humans experience a ‘lunar effect’. (Or at least werewolves.)
– BBC News

Chocoholic scientists at Harvard University have invented an inhaler that allows you to ingest all the chocolate you want without adding a single calorie to your body. ‘Le Whif’ is a cigar-sized device that enables you to breathe in chocolate particles in order to satisfy a craving without actually pigging out on chocolate. Professor David Edwards calls the procedure ‘whiffing’, and claims it fills your mouth with almost pure chocolate that tastes really good. (Odds are this is as satisfying as sniffing an ashtray is to a smoker.)
– “Curious Times”


• It only takes 5 trees to make an ‘orchard’. (Therefore you can destroy an ‘orchard’ by cutting down just one.)
– “Magazine Monitor”
• 592 years ago today (1417) a chicken in Basel, Switzerland was burned at the stake for ‘violating natural law’ by laying a brightly-colored egg. (The origin of Swiss Chalet?)
– “Pilgrim’s Almanac”


1948 [61] Katie Pierson, Athens GA, classic rock singer (B-52’s-“Love Shack”)

1951 [58] Paul (‘Ace’) Frehley, Bronx NY, former rock singer/guitarist (KISS-“Rock ‘n Roll All Nite”, “Beth”)

1984 [25] Patrick Stump, Glenview IL, rock singer/guitarist (Fall Out Boy-“She’s My Winona”, This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race”)


• “Child Care Professionals Day”, to help us understand and appreciate their role in children’s development. (Guess that’s why those security cameras hidden in lamps were invented.)

• “Prime Rib Day”, in honor of the best beef cut there is. (Not sure why but … bring it on!)

• “Tell a Story Day”, which either refers to reading to children or lying to your significant other about where you were Saturday night.

• “World Graphic Design Day”, observed since 1995 to celebrate the profession of graphic & communication design.


2000 [09] “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

1981 [28] Former Beatle drummer Ringo Starr weds movie actress Barbara Bach (“The Spy Who Loved Me”), which turns out to be one of the longer-lasting marriages in show biz

1990 [19] Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose weds Erin Everly, daughter of ‘50s rock ‘n roller Don Everly, which turns out to be one of the shortest marriages in show biz (27 days)


1965 [44] RC Duncan patents 1st ‘Pampers’ disposable diapers (now filling city dumps worldwide)

1967 [42] “Expo ’67” opens in Montréal QC (it was originally going to be held in Moscow, to help the Soviet Union celebrate the 50th anniversary of its revolution)

1981 [28] The ‘Computer Mouse’ is introduced as part of a $16,000 Xerox computer system (Douglas Englebart had patented his ‘X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System’ way back in 1970)


1972 [37] Mayor of Scarborough, England gulps 500 oysters in a record 48 minutes, 7 seconds

[Tues] Workers Memorial Day
[Wed] International Noise Awareness Day
[Wed] Sense of Smell Day
[Wed] Dance Day
[Thurs] CRA Tax Filing Deadline
[Thurs] Hairstylists Appreciation Day


Astronomy Week / Dance Week / Global Youth Service Days / Police Officers Who Gave Their Lives In the Line of Duty Week / Safe Kids Week


A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Actual reasons cited for erratic driving …
• “I had too much wine at confession.”
• “I was dosing a horse with ether-alcohol and it sneezed on me.”
• “An ice-scraper jammed under the accelerator.”
• “I picked up a hitchhiker and let him drive.”
• “There were 2 flies mating on the windshield and I was driving fast in an attempt to blow them off so my 9-year-old daughter wouldn’t see what was going on.”
(So what’s the best one you’ve ever heard?)
– “Social Studies”


According to a Cambridge University study, the region where you choose to live reflects your personality because people with similar characters tend to cluster together. If that’s so, what’s the ‘personality’ of your hometown?

• What does a ‘herpetologist’ study?
a. Herpes & other sexually-transmitted diseases.
b. Snakes & other reptiles. [CORRECT]
c. Herbs & other spices.

• What does a ‘seismologist’ study?
a. Volcanoes.
b. Floods.
c. Earthquakes. [CORRECT]

• What does an ‘entomologist’ study?
a. Bugs. [CORRECT]
b. Bulls.
c. Buns.


We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

‘Plant Bingo’ anyone? Honda has a webcam pointing at 24 real plants. Contestants pick 5 and if they bloom first, they win an eco-friendly vacation and a donation to the charity of their choice. (Great idea for your station website this Spring!)

Today’s Question: If you’re average, you spend almost 5 minutes a day doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Looking for lost things.


Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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