Wednesday, April 29, 2009        Edition: #4007
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row) is now denying reports that he’ll appear on the 3rd season of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew”, saying they are ‘completely untrue articles, made up of lies, written by liars’ (BS translation: “Crap, I didn’t know you had to quit cold turkey!”) . . . 37-year-old actress Natalie Portman & a business partner have launched a new web portal that gives film fans a behind-the-scenes glimpse at what it takes to make a movie (NET: . . . After serving as the narrator on “Gossip Girl” (CW) for 2 seasons, actress Kristen Bell (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) is asking to be written into an on-screen role, even a brief cameo (on-camera = more money) . . . 27-year-old actress Jessica Biel’s latest movie “Powder Blue”, in which she plays an exotic dancer, is heading straight to DVD in June (how bad must this be?) . . . 54-year-old actor Chris Noth (‘Mr Big’) is now confirmed to be aboard for the movie sequel “Sex & The City 2“, expected Summer 2010 (just what he’ll be doing is another story) . . . ‘Brangelina’ are reportedly trying to quash a tell-all memoir being pitched by a former bodyguard, Mickey Brett, who’s also worked for the likes of Sandra Bullock, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sly Stallone, and Richard Gere (their lawyer’s already on the case) . . . And just-tuned-75 actress Shirley Jones (“Partridge Family” 1970-74), a grandmother of 10, will go topless in an upcoming episode of the Benjamin Bratt series “The Cleaner” (A&E), while playing a washed-up, alcoholic singer (producers were looking to add a new wrinkle to the show?).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Tonight’s cheesy song & dance routine is based on standards made famous by the ‘Rat Pack’; then former winner Taylor Hicks returns to perform his single “Seven Mile Breakdown”.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – One celebrity is eliminated from the competition; Robin Thicke performs.
• Rock ‘n’ Roll Fantasy Camp (Hollywood) – The 13th annual 5-day event where music fans pay ($7,999) to jam with their favorite rock stars gets underway. Among the 20 ‘counselors’ taking part: Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler, Foo Fighters keyboardist Rami Jaffee, Velvet Revolver bassist Duff McKagan, Todd Rundgren, and Yes drummer Alan White.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno“ (NBC/A Channel) – The Zac Brown Band performs the new single “Whatever It Is”.

• Avril Lavigne – She’s been selected to represent Canada as an ambassador at China’s forthcoming 2010 “World Expo” in Shanghai. Lavigne has re-recorded portions of her hits in Mandarin, making her wildly popular in the country.
• Bon Jovi – Tonight the upcoming documentary “When We Were Beautiful” is screened at lower Manhattan’s “Tribeca Film Festival”, despite still being a work in progress. It’s the premiere of the behind-the-scenes portrait of the band.
• Chris Brown – Today he’s scheduled to be back in LA court to face assault charges relating to the February 8th incident with Rihannna. Have his lawyers cut a deal?
• Gavin Rossdale – He tells “Billboard” magazine that he’s writing for a new album but hasn’t decided if it will be for a follow-up to his solo debut, “WANDERlust”, or for the first Bush album since 2001.
• Good Charlotte – Joel Madden is steamed with British Airways after he was banned from boarding a plane until … he covered up his tattoos. He was set to fly from Chicago to London to film a new music video when officials ordered him to hide the body art on his arms.
• Lil Wayne – He’s rarely seen without a Styrofoam cup in hand containing the potentially fatal cough medicine-based drink ‘Syrup’, a dangerous mix of promethazine or codeine and juice.
• Linkin Park – They’re working on the score to director Michael Bay’s sequel “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”, which is scheduled to open June 24th.
• Pink – She’s refuting reports that she’s planning to renew her marriage vows to Carey Hart, saying she’d rather model their relationship on long-time unwed Hollywood couple Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell.
• Rihanna – This week she’s been spotted beaching it at the swanky Sandy Lane resort in her home country of Barbados. Psyching herself up for a possible trial?

Today (give or take a few days), the English language is expected to acquire its 1-millionth word according to the Austin TX organization Global Language Monitor, which uses software to track and analyze trends in language. While this works out to just 1 word per 1,350 of the world’s 1.35 billion English speakers, its actually an embarrassment of riches when you consider the average college educated North American only knows about 20,000 words.
– “The Economist”


Some new terms leaking into the lingo. Will one of these be the 1-millionth word?
• ‘Genopolitics’ – The study of the genetic basis of political actions and attitudes. Some scientists think our ideology is inherited, so our genes might predict how we vote.
• ‘Magicology’ – The study of magic tricks & illusions to gain insight into human brain function.
Researchers at Barrow Neurological Institute in Phoenix AZ were first to study the neuroscience of magic.
• ‘Mindcasting’ – Posting a series of messages, via Twitter for instance, that reflect one’s current thoughts, ideas, passions, observations, and other interests. (Also known as ‘verbal diarrhea’).
• ‘NSFM’ (‘Not Safe For Mom’) – One way of determining what’s appropriate to post on social sites like Facebook or Twitter. If you’d be embarrassed to have you mother see it, you likely shouldn’t be putting it out there, experts say, because one day you may regret it.


Hundreds of intimate images of the wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy have reportedly been stolen. The images & videos are alleged to have been taken during pop singer Carla Bruni’s previous relationship with philosopher Raphael Enthoven. The report claims thieves broke into a flat belonging to Enthoven’s brother and stole the material. It’s now feared they’ll attempt to take advantage of Bruni’s fame by trying to sell the pics.
– “Evening Standard”

If you’ve dutifully filled out your home address on your luggage tags, it’s time for a do-over. John Wills, a former FBI special agent, claims you should use your name and cellphone only. Why? Anyone close to your baggage can copy your address and home phone number, then contact someone to case out your home and break in while you’re away.
– FOX News


A few examples of bad text etiquette …
• Bored Texting: Sending texts that say absolutely nothing because you simply have nothing else to do. How about … get a life?
• Bulk Texting: Sending only a word or 2 in each text, thereby requiring a back-and-forth discussion that eats away at your monthly text quota.
• Circle Texting: One person pulls out an iPhone in the middle of a social event and, before you know it, everyone else starts doing it … totally ignoring each other.
• Double Messaging – Texting someone to let them know you just left them voicemail. Maybe you should take the hint?
• Mass Texting: Texting all your contacts in order to check any possible options before deciding what specific plans to make.
• Show & Tell Texting: Sharing all the intimate details of your new relationship, perhaps even forwarding the cute texts your new heartthrob has written you.
• Tease Texting: Texting someone to see what they’re up to tonight; finding out they have no plans; then responding “Okay, cool.” What exactly does that mean?
• Theater Texting: Okay, so you’re not talking but everyone sees your phone lighting up and hears it vibrating violently every 2 minutes.
– “Cosmopolitan”

Scientists at the University of Colorado have built the world’s most accurate clock ever, a device that would take 300 million years to become inaccurate by 1 second. The new chronograph uses the pendulum swing of atoms held by a laser beam and frozen to -273 degrees to create a timepiece they claim is twice as accurate as the world’s current leader.
– “The Telegraph”


A new ranking of the best-named car models (their maker) and the years they were around …
10. ‘Swinger’ (Dodge) … 1969-76.
9. ‘Carrera’ (Porsche) … 1956-present.
8. ‘Veyron’ (Bugatti) … 2006-present.
7. ‘Corvette’ (Chevrolet) … 1953-present.
6. ‘Viper’ (Dodge) … 1992-present.
5. ‘Countach’ (Lamborghini) … 1974-90.
4. ‘Cobra’ (Shelby American) … 1962-67.
3. ‘Testarossa’ (Ferrari) … 1984-96.
2. ‘Silver Cloud’ (Rolls-Royce) … 1955-66.
1. ‘Mustang’ (Ford) … 1964-present.
– Condensed from


A new biometric technique designed to positively identify a phone caller is being developed. It involves playing a series of clicks down the line and waiting for a computer-detected response. The concept relies on the fact that the ear not only senses sound but also makes noises of its own, though at a level only detectable by supersensitive microphones. It’s thought these noises may be unique to each individual, which could boost the security of phone-banking and shopping transactions and reduce the need for us to remember numerous PIN numbers.
– “New Scientist”


The ‘Swine Flu’ virus didn’t originate in humans. Pigs, birds, and even horses have their own versions of influenza. Remember the ‘Bird Flu’ or ‘Avian Flu’ scare a while ago? Scientists feared the influenza common in birds had ‘jumped the species barrier’ and begun infecting humans. This is called a ‘zoonotic disease’, one that moves from animals to people. Now, the same worries have arisen about Swine Flu. Fortunately, there are professionals who’ve spent their entire working lives preparing for just this kind of event and they’re currently working very hard to provide the public with the best information and advice.


In 45 BC, Rome banned all vehicles within the city, and in other cities in the Empire vehicles (including horses) were allowed only at night due to … traffic jams.


1954 [55] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, stand-up comedian/really rich retired TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)

1957 [52] Daniel Day-Lewis, London UK, movie actor (2008 Oscar-“There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-“My Left Foot”)

1958 [51] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, movie actress (“Hairspray”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)/married to producer David E Kelley since 1993

1970 [39] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Kill Bill”, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)


• “Adult Public Skipping Day”, a day for adults to skip in public to feel like a child again.

• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance in societies, as well as to persuade governments worldwide to provide a proper place for dance in all systems of education, from primary to higher.

• “International Noise Awareness Day”, the 14th annual observance begun by NYC’s ‘League For the Hard of Hearing’ in 1996 and now observed in more than 20 countries. In celebration, we’re encouraged to observe the ‘Quiet Diet’ … 1 minute of quiet, regardless of where we are from 2:15 to 2:16 pm.

• “Moment of Laughter Day”, a day set aside to experience the ‘power of mirth’.

• “Zipper Day” celebrating the 1913 date when Swedish-American inventor Gideon Sundback, who developed the manufacturing machine for zippers, patented the ‘Separable Fastener’ which became the 1st all-purpose zipper (his Lightning Fastener Company was based in St Catharines ON).


2005 [04] Actors Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes go out on a their 1st date (or programming session if you prefer)


2005 [04] Coldplay, Nine Inch Nails, and Bon Jovi play the 10th anniversary bash for the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas

1880 [129] ‘Bell Telephone Co of Canada’ (‘Ma Bell’) is formed

1995 [14] ‘World’s Longest Sausage’ measures 28.77 miles in Kitchener ON

[Thurs] CRA Tax Filing Deadline
[Thurs] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Honesty Day
[Thurs] Spank Out Day
[Fri] School Principals’ Day
[Fri] No Pants Day
This Week Is … Fairy Godmother Week
This Month Is … Sports Eye Safety Month


• Switch from Ham radio to FM.
• Before eating pork chops, soak them in Lysol.
• Fight the urge! Don’t lick your football.
• [DISCRETION] Start wearing a condom when humping pigs.
• Anti-bacterial smoothies.
• Avoid pigs that look like they’re up to something.
• Stock up on ammo for the coming Swine Flu zombie apocalypse.
• Reopen your old ‘Y2K’ bunker, start drinking.
– Adapted from

What is the fastest speed you’ve ever traveled in a car?


Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Today’s Question: You might be shocked to learn that THIS is about 90% fat, so it’s probably a good thing they don’t put it on pizzas.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your brain.

There is no job so simple that it can not be done wrong.

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