Monday, March 29, 2010       Edition: #4228
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!


• Celebrity blogger/”Radio Perez” host Perez Hilton had a 32nd birthday party Saturday night in Hollywood that attracted the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Paula Abdul, and Justin Bieber. Leona Lewis kicked off the Paramount Studios fete by singing “Bleeding Love”; followed by a montage of video tributes, including one from Lady Gaga; then scantily-clad Katy Perry arrived, singing “Happy Birthday” … on the back of an elephant. (No wonder they call it ‘La La Land’.)
• Here’s another gig Paula Abdul isn’t going to be doing: Producers of the Broadway musical “In the Heights”, which stars “High School Musical” singer/actor Corbin Bleu, have shot down rumors she’s joining the cast, taking over from actress Priscilla Lopez. (Time to start a different rumor, Paula.)
• Recording partners and ‘friends’ Jessica Simpson & Billy Corgan (“Smashing Pumpkins) reportedly challenge each other to a weekly game of chess. Word has it she’s become addicted after he taught her how to play and now they like to take on each other on a regular basis. She’s apparently yet to win. (“Which way’s this little horsey thingy go again?”)
• 69-year-old Spanish tenor Placido Domingo has returned to his post as director of the Los Angeles Opera Company just weeks after undergoing surgery for cancer. He went under the knife at NYC’s Mount Sinai Hospital earlier this month to have a cancerous polyp removed from his colon and has since been recuperating in Barcelona, Spain and Acapulco, Mexico. (Proving that being sick’s much more fun when you’re rich.)
• FOX-TV has announced that the action series “24”, starring Kiefer Sutherland as anti-terrorism agent ‘Jack Bauer’, is winding down at the end of its current season on May 24th. Sutherland says the decision to make the 8th season the last was one the cast and crew all agreed on and he’s now looking forward to shooting a “24” movie. (When a day will only last 2 hours instead of 24.)


• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Snoop Dogg (“More Malice”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Sade (“Soldier of Love”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – All-American Rejects (“Almost Alice”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Grizzly Bear (“Veckatimest”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Rogue Wave (“Permalight”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Michael Bublé (“Crazy Love”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Carrie Underwood (“Play On”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Boys Like Girls (“Love Drunk”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – kd lang (“Recollection”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Justin Bieber (“My World 2.0); Miley Cyrus (“The Last Song”).


• Beyoncé – Her publicist is refusing to comment on an online report claiming she’s pregnant with her first child. claims the news comes from a ‘rock solid source’. However, a rep for her record company, Sony, says the story is simply not true.
• 50 Cent – The new nightspot Bamboo in Liverpool, England has paid him$75,000 to show up for the club’s opening night. He didn’t perform and only uttered one word to the crowd … “Hey.”
• John Lennon – His 70th birthday will be celebrated with a 2-month festival in his hometown of Liverpool. It will run from October 9th, which would have been his birthday, to December 9th, which will be 30 years since the day of his death.
• Keith Urban – He & wife Nicole Kidman reportedly hide little notes for each other in order to keep the spark in their relationship. Oddest location? Keith once wrote ‘I Love You’ on the peel of an orange in the fridge.
• Taylor Swift – Saturday night she was named ‘Favorite Female Singer’ and won ‘Favorite Song’ for “You Belong With Me” at the annual “Kids’ Choice Awards”. Other winners included Jay-Z for ‘Favorite Male Singer’ and Black Eyed Peas for ‘Favorite Music Group’.
• Tim McGraw – He confirms to “Vancouver Sun” that an album of duets with wife Faith Hill is going to happen as soon as they resolve record label issues.
• U2 – Financial journal “24/7 Wall Street” has named Bono ‘Worst Investor in America’ for  sinking nearly $500 million into debt-riddled telecom company Palm Inc, the maker of Treo and Centro smart-phones. Shares in the company have plummeted 35% since January.


• Fairfield, Connecticut – A 27-year-old & a 16-year-old have been easily arrested in the parking lot of a People’s United Bank because …. they called the bank ahead of time and told an employee to get a bag of money ready. A police spokesperson describes the suspects as ‘not too bright’. (Well duh! They should have asked to have the loot delivered!)
– “Social Studies”
• Manchester, England – A 16-year-old café worker may be the first person ever fired … via Facebook. Her boss left a message on her ‘wall’ after failing to connect via phone. Chelsea Taylor, who was axed for losing a £10-note during an errand, burst into tears when she logged on to find a post littered with grammatical errors and ending with 2 kisses. (And an ‘LOL’.)
• Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania – A fugitive wanted for bank robbery is in custody after he walked out of a local hospital and into a bar wearing only … his hospital gown, with an intravenous needle still in his arm. Cops called to JR’s Bar quickly took the 20-year-old into custody. (Dude, read the sign: No shirt, no shoes, no service!)
– AP
• Riyadh, Saudi Arabia: Amnesty International is calling on King Abdullah to stop the execution of a Lebanese radio host who’s been sentenced to death for … ‘sorcery’. On his show, 48-year-old Ali Hussain Sibat would give advice to listeners and predict their future. He was arrested back in 2008 while visiting Saudi Arabia. (Shouldn’t he have seen this coming?)

• A recent study by a personnel consulting firm claims that gossip and gabbing around the office watercooler costs businesses close to $40 million each day. (Just a little something to discuss next time you’re around the watercooler.)
• Mathematicians from Britain’s Cambridge University & Japan’s Keio University spent 6 months studying why a hard-boiled Easter egg spun on its side on a tabletop rises up on one end and whirls like a top. The short answer is simply … friction. (They’ll now conduct a study on why they get paid to investigate this kind of fluff.)
• Ben-Gurion University research finds that fast-tempo music can make some people drive faster and break traffic laws. The study has found that as tempo increases, drivers speed up, run more red lights, change lanes more frequently, and have more accidents. (So in the interest of safety this morning, here’s [slow tune].)
• A study published in “New Scientist” magazine finds that obese people over 220 lbs are more likely to die in car accidents than featherweights under 130 lbs. (And once you pass the 500-lb mark, you’re more likely to total the other car.)

• A spokesperson for Aviva Insurance Corporation says it’s going ahead with its largest-ever payout for auto repairs … close to $450,000 in damages to a Pagani Zonda S which was damaged while being test-driven near Aberdeen, Scotland. The car has been sent for repair in Modena, Italy, where only about 10 Zondas are painstakingly constructed each year. That’s why each is priced at circa $750,000. The claim may be the world’s largest for a private vehicle. (The owner’s premium will now jump to a figure near the largest prime number.)
– BBC News
• Scientists have determined that the dung beetle is the ‘World’s Strongest Insect’. A joint University of London-University of Western Australia study has found that dung beetles can pull 1,141 times their own body weight, the equivalent of a 150-lb (70-kg) person being able to lift 6 double-decker buses. (Something actually burdened with more BS than we get around here!)


• It’s estimated that between 20-and-50% of the dust in Afghanistan is made up of excrement. (There are a lot of soldiers who can verify it’s a crappy location.)
• The average child believes in the ‘Easter Bunny’ until age 6. (Wait a sec, there’s no Easter Bunny?!?!)
– “Women’s World”
• Over 82 million people now regularly play the virtual game “Farmville” on Facebook. (If you think farming is so much fun, there’s a few real-life farmers left that could use help with ‘chores’.)
– “Magazine Monitor”


1943 [67] Eric Idle, South Shields UK, Broadway musical composer (“Spamalot”)/former TV comic (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” 1969-1974)/movie actor (“102 Dalmatians”)

1959 [51] Perry Farrell, Queens NY, rock singer (Jane’s Addiction, Porno for Pyros)/”Lollapalooza” founder (1991)

1963 [47] Elle Macpherson, Sydney, Australia, fashion model/movie actress (“Batman & Robin”)

1967 [43] John Popper, Cleveland OH, rock singer (Blues Traveler -“Run-Around”, “Hook”)

1969 [41] Brady Seals, Hamilton OH, country singer (Hot Apple Pie-“Hillbillies”, Little Texas-“My Love”)

1971 [39] Robert Gibbs, Auburn AL, White House Press Secretary in the Obama administration


• “Knights of Columbus Day”, celebrating the world’s largest Catholic fraternal service organization on the anniversary of its incorporation. Founded in the USA in 1882, it has since spread to more than a dozen countries.

• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”, “Bytown Farm Equipment & Driving Range”, “Corner Gas, Video & Tacky Souvenirs”, Slick Willy’s Used Jeeps & Massage, etc.

• “Passover” begins at sundown, the 7-day Jewish ‘Feast Of the Unleavened Bread’ commemorating the Exodus from Egypt and the liberation of the Israelites from slavery.

• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 37 years ago today in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.


1985 [25] Madonna makes her movie debut in “Desperately Seeking Susan”

2004 [06] John Melendez, known as ‘Stuttering John’ for 15 years on the Howard Stern radio show, joins “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” as its announcer (replacing Edd Hall)

2000 [10] Major League Baseball season opens outside North America for the first time as Chicago Cubs play NY Mets in Tokyo, Japan

2008 [02] 35 countries and more than 370 cities join “Earth Hour” for the first time


1990 [20] ‘World’s Largest Yo-Yo’ goes up & down 12 times while suspended from a 160-foot crane (built by a Jasonville IN high school woodworking class, it measures 6-ft in diameter and weighs 820 lbs)


[Tues] Doctors Day
[Tues] Pencil Day
[Tues] Black Eyed Peas’ “The END” concert screens in cinemas
[Wed] “The Last Song” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] April Fools Day
[Thurs] Maundy Thursday (Christian)
[Thurs] Fun at Work Day
[Thurs] St Stupid Day


Cleaning Week / Golden Rule Week / Holy Week / International Pooper-Scooper Week / Laugh at Work Week / Medication Safety Week / Protocol Officer’s Week / Root Canal Awareness Week / Testicular Cancer Awareness Week


Highlight bits culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “Cool! You have a beer belly!”
• “I hope you don’t mind I’m not wearing any underwear.”
• “Tickets to the hockey game for my birthday? You are a god among men!”
• “Could our relationship be more physical? I’m tired of just being friends.”
• “Please don’t throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpits are just too cute.”
• “I’m wrong, you must be right again.”

• On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
• Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
• The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
• Buying a gift for your girl? She’ll hate it – and you – if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
• About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.
• All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
• As any good woman will tell you, honesty is not always the best policy.
• Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
• She likes one of your friends.
• It never hurts to say you’re sorry, even if you don’t mean it.
– “Maxim”


If you were going to create a brand new sport, what elements would you include? (Full contact? Body armor? Square ball?)


[Co-host] once got caught shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Walmart. He thought it was a whisk worth taking.


124 years ago today (1886), Atlanta’s John S Pemberton brewed his first batch of ‘Coca-Cola’ over a backyard fire, originally as a hangover cure and stomach ache/headache remedy. What color was the original Coke?
a. Green [CORRECT. And still would be if they didn’t add color.]
b. Red
c. Orange


Today’s Question: The average person will do THIS 11 times in their life.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Move.


Always try to be modest … and be darn proud of it!

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