Wednesday, April 28, 2010        Edition: #4250
Can You Believe This Sheet?

Today Coca-Cola Light goes on sale in France in a limited-edition Karl Lagerfeld-designed bottle featuring his own silhouette (with matching bottle opener, it’s priced at 47 euros – over $62!) . . . Today 56-year-old actor Randy Quaid (“Brokeback Mountain”) & his wife Evi are due back in court in Santa Barbara County, California to finally face long-standing charges that they failed to pay a hotel bill (they were briefly jailed Monday before posting $100,000 bail – each) . . . 20th Century Fox is being sued for half the profits (circa $370 million) from the 2009 film “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel” by screenwriter Janice Karman, who alleges portions of her rejected screenplay were used without permission (she’s married to the son of late “Chipmunks” creator Ross Bagdasarian) . . . Serial cheater Jesse James has reportedly told friends he knows his marriage to actress Sandra Bullock is over, admitting he blew it and only has himself to blame (on the upside, ‘Bombshell’ is still interested – if he’s paying) . . . “Iron Man 2” actress Gwyneth Paltrow says she wants more kids with Coldplay hubby Chris Martin (but they may be limited ‘cause they’re running out of silly names) . . . Actor Chad Michael Murray is publishing a graphic novel (he knows he just played a writer on “One Tree Hill”, right?) . . . “Playboy” magazine founder Hugh Hefner has donated $900,000 in a last-minute bid to stop the landmark ‘Hollywood’ sign from being demolished to make way for a real estate development (ironically, the sign was initially built in 1923 to promote a – housing development) . . . And actress Rachel Bilson has been named the first ‘Eyewear Ambassador’ for Sunglass Hut (wow, and she thought “The OC” was gonna be the highlight of her career!).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Lady Antebellum performs; Rascal Flatts performs; another contestant is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Shakira (“She Wolf”).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – K’Naan (“Troubadour”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Dr Dog (“Shame, Shame”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned the Hard Way”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – OK Go (“Of the Blue Colour Of the Sky”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Aqualung (“Magnetic North”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Courtney Love (“Nobody’s Daughter”).


• Jewel – Tonight she performs 2 shows at the Bluebird Café in Nashville to benefit the charity she founded over a decade ago, Project Clean Water. Her new album, “Sweet & Wild”, is due out June 8th.
• John Mayer – The prolific tweeter says he’s considering shutting down his Twitter account because he’s convinced the social networking site has made him a target for ‘haters’.
• Justin Bieber – Today he arrives in New Zealand to perform a free concert at the Strathallan School in Papakura. Police have stepped up security and kept his exact arrival time secret in a bid to prevent a repeat of the recent frenzied mob scene in Sydney, Australia.
• MIA – She’s released a new music video that’s definitely NSFW. It’s already been pulled from YouTube due to violent content.
• Nine Inch Nails – Fans have compiled a video of the group’s final performance last September 10th. Titled “all is said and done”, it will be released digitally and on DVD.
• Ozzy Osbourne – A movie based on his life has been picked up and is set to go into production.
• Taylor Swift – She stunned 2 male fans by showing up unannounced at Auburn University in Alabama to give them a hug on Monday. The pair had posted online requests to meet her.


A group of Chinese & Turkish ‘evangelical explorers’ say they believe they’ve found Noah’s Ark 4,000 meters (13,000 ft) up a mountain in Turkey. The team say they recovered wooden specimens from a structure on Mount Ararat that carbon dating proves to be 4,800-years-old, around the same time the ark is said to have been afloat. Yeung Wing-cheung, a Hong Kong documentary filmmaker and member of the team from Noah’s Ark Ministries International says it’s not 100% sure that it’s Noah’s Ark but they think it’s 99.9% probable. (The big clue is the sign on the transom reading ‘Beastie Boy – Euphrates Yacht Club’.)


• You don’t have much in common.
• Routine is the foundation of your relationship.
• Parenthood is her main excitement.
• She describes your relationship as ‘nice’.
• Conversation is practical, not personal.
• Sex is functional and rare.
– Condensed from


22-year-old Purdue University student Jen McCreight used an online campaign on social network sites to convince tens-of-thousands of women to wear low-cut shirts this Monday in what was dubbed ‘Boobquake’. The idea was to challenge a recently espoused theory by an Iranian cleric that immodestly dressed women have caused a recent spike in earthquakes. Unfortunately for the campaign, a 6.5-magnitude quake struck Taiwan on Monday. McCreight says the tremor is ‘not statistically significant’ (no reported casualties). Other ‘Boobquake’ supporters claim the quake doesn’t count because it happened on Monday morning in Taiwan, at a time when most North Americans were still asleep. (So who’s ‘fault’ is it?)
– QMI Agency


20% of us say we’d take a 5% pay cut if we could work a few days at home. But you may not have to sacrifice a penny if you follow these tips from Leslie Truex, author of “The Work-at-Home Success Bible”, on how to ask your boss for this prized perk …
• Prepare Your Case: Make a list of tasks you can do at home and another of those that require in-office time, plus an outline of how you’ll stay connected.
• Broadcast the Benefits: Outline to the boss how working at home could benefit the company, ie: saving resources and freeing up space. Note that studies show at-home workers are happier in their jobs, take fewer sick days, and are more productive.
• Focus on Your Job, Not Your Life: Your commute and child-care dilemmas are not your company’s concern. Ditch the complaints and focus on how much you love your job and how you can be equally productive – or more so – at home.
• Propose a 3-Month Trial Period: This will give your employer an easy out and make her or him  more likely to approve the idea.
– Condensed from


The night vision goggles that the military uses are useful but bulky, and they require a lot of power. But now, scientists from the University of Florida have developed a thin, flexible film that uses LEDs for night-vision technology. This new film is lightweight and uses much less energy to convert infrared light into visible images. What this means is a full-scale night vision device could now weigh as little as 10 grams and be only a few microns thick, making the technology adaptable to eyeglasses, cellphones, even car windshields. (Nighttime hide & seek is about to get a lot easier!)


New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Churnalism’ – Journalism that churns out articles based on wire stories and press releases, rather than original reporting. (“90% of the blogs online are just churmalism … at least, that’s what this wire story says.”)
• ‘Lucrepath’ – A person who is pathologically driven to make money. (“He’s such a lucrepath he works every weekend and takes his laptop on vacation.”)
• ‘Murderabilia’ – Items used in famous killings. (“The VW camper used by Dr Jack Kevorkian during his assisted suicide campaign is no longer listed for sale on eBay after the online auctioneer cited a policy against murderabilia.”)
• ‘Recombobulate’ – To recover from a state of confusion or disorganization. (“Er … make that mostly sunny. Let’s just recombobulate here and start the weather forecast again.”)

Could movie stars be an endangered species? Looking ahead to the big films of the next few months, it doesn’t seem such an outlandish idea. Many are remakes of a success in another medium (“The A-Team”, “Prince of Persia”) or another installment in a lucrative franchise (“Iron Man 2”, “Toy Story 3”, “Shrek Forever After”). Increasingly, fewer films are depending on big-name stars for financial success because they are expensive to hire. In a business now mostly run by big conglomerates, paying huge fees for stars has come to look like a ludicrous luxury. (No stars? Who will we gossip about?)
– “Daily Telegraph”


For some employees, amazing benefits are just part of the job. For instance …
• Amgen Inc: 17 paid holidays a year on top of 3 weeks vacation, nearly twice the average.
• Chesapeake Energy Corp: On-site daycare; scuba & yoga classes; an employee garden.
• F5 Networks Inc: $300 monthly stipend to try alternative transportation options; ‘Beer Friday’ at the end of each week.
• Genentech Inc: Child & doggy daycare; 6-week paid sabbaticals to prevent burnout; drop-off laundry service; made-to-order sushi; free cappuccinos; two 24-hour libraries.
• Google Inc: Free lunch, dinner, and snacks at 16 gourmet cafés; subsidized massages; free laundry; 4 gyms; on-site doctors; bring your dog to work.
• Netflix Inc: Employees are trusted so there are no set number of vacation days and no one is keeping track. There’s also no dress code.
• SC Johnson: On-site concierge service offers discounts on mailing packages, sending flowers, delivering groceries, car insurance, oil changes, etc.
– Condensed from “Woman’s Day”


If Brett Farve plays in the NFL next season, he will be the first player on record to play as … a grandfather.


1949 [61] Paul Guilfoyle, Canton MA, TV actor (‘Captain Jim Brass’ on “CSI” since 2000)

1950 [60] Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, TV host (“The Tonight Show” since 1992)

1966 [44] John Daly, Carmichael CA, long-driving pro golfer since 1987/admitted alcoholic

1973 [37] Jorge Garcia, Omaha NE, TV actor (‘Hurley Reyes’ on “Lost” 2004-10)

1974 [36] Penelope Cruz (Sanchez), Madrid, Spain, movie actress (2009 Academy Award-“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”, “Sahara”)

1981 [29] Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, movie actress (“Fantastic Four”, “Sin City”)

• “Day of Remembrance For Persons Killed or Injured In the Workplace”, first declared by the Canadian Labour Congress in 1984. On average, 1 Canadian worker out of 13 is injured at work at some point.

• “Great Poetry Reading Day”, a day to ‘read some great poetry, the world better to see.’
(“There once was a girl from St John’s . . .”)

• “Kiss Your Mate Day”, a day to share the pleasure of a kiss when he or she least expects it.

• “Pink Moon”, the Full Moon of April named for the herb moss pink, or wild ground phlox, one of the earliest widespread flowers of Spring. Other names for this month’s Full Moon include the ‘Sprouting Grass Moon’, the ‘Egg Moon’, and the ‘Fish Moon’.

1991 [19] ‘Strippers Hall of Fame’ opens in Helendale, California

2006 [04] “People” magazine names Angelina Jolie the ‘World’s Most Beautiful Person’

1984 [26] The Judds release what will become their first #1 country hit, “Mama He’s Crazy”  BS FACTOID: Wynonna’s new album, “Love Heals”, will be released exclusively at Cracker Barrel on May 24th.


2001 [09] US millionaire Dennis Tito becomes the ‘First Space Tourist’, paying a reported $12 million-plus to spend just under 8 days aboard a Russian Soyuz mission carrying supplies to the International Space Station

1985 [25] World’s ‘Largest Sand Castle’ is completed, standing 4 stories tall (St Petersburg FL)

[Thurs] “Billboard Latin Music Awards” (San Juan PR)
[Thurs] “Governor General’s Performing Arts Awards” begin (Ottawa)
[Fri] Canadian Income Tax Day
[Fri] “A Nightmare on Elm Street”; “Furry Vengeance” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Beale Street Music Festival” begins (Memphis TN)
[Fri] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Fri] Honesty Day
This Week Is … Teacher Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Listening Awareness Month


• He cut his way out of the uterus with a light saber.
• Sits in the corner and cries when no one pays attention to him.
• Once took his rattle apart to see what makes the noise.
• He prefers sleeping in the basement.
• Converted his crib mobile into a gyroscope.
• His first words were reciting 10 digits of pi.
• Demands coffee with breast milk.
– Adapted from

College is the only vacation a guy gets between his mother and his wife.


• According to dental researchers, which does a plug of chewing tobacco contain?
a. Insect Parts.
b. Peat Moss.
c. Sand. [CORRECT. It eventually ‘sandpapers’ the user’s teeth down to the gums.]

• ‘Barbie’ doll got her first car in 1962. What kind was it?
a. Coral Austin Healy. [CORRECT. It was made by Irwin Toys for Mattel.]
b. Pink Corvette.
c. Baby blue Ford Falcon.


What makes you feel better when you’re sick?


Today’s Question: Listening to THIS can slash anxiety by as much as 60%.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bells or chimes.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.

Printer Friendly Version