Friday, April 30, 2010        Edition: #4252
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

Today gazillionaire Donald Trump’s latest wife Melania launches a discount jewelry line on shopping channel QVC, claiming she’s been involved in the entire design & development of the products (BS translation: She’ll have a quick look at the stuff before air time) . . . 31-year-old actress Katie Holmes will play Jacqueline Kennedy in the 8-hour History channel mini-series, “The Kennedys”, opposite Greg Kinnear as US president John F Kennedy (debuts 2011) . . . This week “America’s Next Top Model” judge Miss J Alexander was aboard a Paris-Atlanta flight that was diverted to Maine when a passenger claimed to have explosives in his shoes (Miss J sensed something was wrong when he noticed the footwear failed to match the outfit, which was also very poorly accessorized) . . . A pal of Brad Pitt tells “Us Weekly” Brad thinks his ex-wife, actress Jennifer Aniston, is ‘pathetic’ (at least she’s not staying home Saturday night babysitting 32 kids) . . . The 4th film in the “Twilight Saga”, “Breaking Dawn” (2011), finally has a director – “Dreamgirls” helmer Bill Condon (cool, vampires with jazz hands!) . . . It’s come to light why actress Sandra Bullock may be filing for divorce in Austin – Texas doesn’t have an alimony statute (suck it, Jesse!) . . . Stunning 34-year-old actress Charlize Theron apparently has a new beau after dumping Stuart Townsend – 38-year-old “Hurt Locker” star Jeremy Renner (seems he’s handling another bombshell) . . . The first reviews of “Iron Man 2” are in – and they aren’t good (perhaps Robert Downey Jr is a bit rusty?) . . . And “People” magazine’s latest issue, hitting newsstands today, names 42-year-old actress Julia Roberts the ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman’ (for the 4th time), but it seems Ms Roberts was bumped off the cover by Sandra Bullock’s newly-announced adopted baby boy (do you hearing hissing and spitting?).

• “Bamboozle Festival” (East Rutherford NJ) – Saturday & Sunday the annual mega-concert at the Meadowlands Sports Complex includes performances by Angels & Airwaves, Drake, Ke$ha, MGMT, Paramore, and Weezer.
• “Beale Street Music Festival” (Memphis TN) – Tonight the annual 3-day bash that began as a blues fest kicks off with an eclectic lineup that includes Alice In Chains, The B-52’s, Earth Wind & Fire, The Flaming Lips, Goo Goo Dolls, Hall & Oates, Limp Bizkit, 30 Seconds to Mars, 3 Doors Down, Widespread Panic, and many more.
• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – This afternoon Trisha Yearwood (“Love Songs”).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Tonight Meat Loaf (“Hang Cool Teddy Bear”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Devo (“Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Daniel Merriweather (“Love & War”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Hold Steady (“Heaven is Whenever”).
• “Logie Awards” (NINE) – Sunday long-running Australian show “Home and Away” is set to dominate the 52nd annual TV awards Down Under after receiving 11 nominations. The hardware’s being handed out at the Crown Entertainment Complex in Melbourne.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Zach Galifianakis (“Up In the Air”); musical guest Vampire Weekend (“Contra”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Melissa Etheridge (“Fearless Love”).


• “Glee” – New cast album “The Power of Madonna”, the soundtrack from last week’s Madonna-themed episode, has debuted atop the “Billboard” album chart.
• Justin Bieber – Turns out he hasn’t been thrown off a cliff; he’s just gone bungy jumping off Auckland Bridge in New Zealand … with his mommy.
• KISS – Saturday their “Sonic Boom Over Europe Tour” starts in Sheffield UK. Concert-goers can purchase entire shows on USB stick immediately afterward. Each show will also be available as an MP3 download.
• Toby Keith – He’s planning his 8th USO tour, to visit Korea, Germany, and the Persian Gulf this Spring. No specific dates have been revealed due to security issues.


• “Furry Vengeance” ( PG Family Comedy ): Brendan Fraser stars as a real estate developer looking to turn a forest in the Oregon wilderness into a housing subdivision. He ends up facing an unusually tough foe … the woodland wildlife. Originally scheduled to star Jeremy Piven, then Steve Carell. Co-stars Brooke Shields.
• “Gunless” ( PG Western Comedy ): Paul Gross stars as ‘The Montana Kid’, a hardened American gunslinger who is repeatedly thwarted in his attempts to mount a showdown in a friendly Canadian town where no one seems to understand or appreciate the brutal code of the American Wild West. Co-stars Sienna Guillory. Filmed in Osoyoos BC.
• “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Jackie Earle Haley stars as disfigured serial killer ‘Freddy Krueger’, who stalks a group of young people in their dreams, forcing them to remain awake as the only alternative to death. A remake of the original 1984 “A Nightmare on Elm Street” that led to a half-dozen sequels. No-name cast.


Looking for a date this weekend but have some super specific needs? Try these online dating sites that are narrowed to a niche …
• ‘BBW Personals Plus’: The best place to meet ‘Big Beautiful Women’ … other than KFC.
• ‘Farmers Only’: Looks don’t matter if she can’t detassel corn or drive a Deere. No livestock on offer.
• ‘Jdate’: For Jewish singles only. Apparently it’s not racism if it’s kosher with both of you.
• ‘STD Friends’: Using this site avoids the awkward question, “Ooh what’s that on your …”
• ‘Women Behind Bars’: At least you don’t have to worry about them showing up unexpectedly.
– Adapted from


When it comes to climbing Mount Everest, May is ‘prime time’. During the high season, some 700 summiteers live in base camp at a height of 5,350 meters (17,500 ft). These days, Everest camps offer hot showers, TV, Internet, even a bakery and fresh strawberries. It’s estimated 90% of wannabe climbers would never reach the top without the knowledgeable Sherpa guides and infrastructure such as fixed ropes that lead right to the summit.
– “Der Spiegel”


1933 [77] Willie Nelson, Abbott TX, legendary country singer (“On the Road Again”)/songwriter (“Crazy”)/sometime actor (“Beer For My Horses”)/Farm Aid co-founder (1985)/environmentalist (Willie Nelson Bio-diesel)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1993)

1959 [51] Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (2006-present)/leader of the Conservative Party of Canada (2004-present)

1959 [51] Paul Gross, Calgary AB, movie producer/director/writer/actor (“Gunless”, “Passchendaele”)/former TV actor (“Due South” 1997-99)

1971 [39] Chris Henderson, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“It’s Not My Time”, “Here Without You”)

1971 [39] Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Grande Prairie AB, country singer (“Let Me Introduce Myself”, “Taking Back My Brave”)

1982 [28] Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, movie actress (“Spider-Man” films, “Elizabethtown”)

1984 [26] Tyler Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Boy Oh Boy”, “26 Cents”)

TV actor Dann Florek (“Law & Order Special Victims Unit”) is 59; Country singer/movie actor Tim McGraw (“Southern Voice”/”The Blind Side”) is 43.

Movie actress Christine Baranski (“Mamma Mia!”) is 58; Fashion designer Donatella Versace is 55; Country singer Ty Herndon (“It Must Be Love”) is 48; Movie actor Dwayne Johnson (“Race to Witch Mountain”) is 38; Soccer star David Beckham (LA Galaxy, England) is 35; Pop singer Lily Allen (“The Fear”) is 25.

• “Canada Revenue Agency Tax Filing Deadline”. Tonight at midnight is the deadline for filing your 2009 income tax return either electronically or via snail mail.
• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, honoring the great contribution snippers and coiffeurs make to our self-esteem. Back in 1994, salon owner Anne Camilleri of San Carlos CA came up with the idea to recognize her employees. So don’t forget to say ‘thanks for the good hair day!’
• “International Tuba Day”, observed annually on the 1st Friday of May to celebrate the musical instrument that seems to get no respect, and to recognize tubists around-the-world who struggle with the ‘weight and size of their instrument’. Really.

• “Expo 2010” opens in Shanghai, China. The world fair is expected to attract between 70-and-80 million people before closing October 31st, which would make it the highest attendance of any single event in history. Pavilions are featured from 200 countries and other entities.
• “Free Comic Book Day”, an annual promotional effort since 2002 by the North American comic book industry to help bring new readers into independent comic book stores.
• “Homebrew Day”, a celebration of the joys of making beer in the basement that began in 1988.
• “Jane’s Walk”, the 4th annual celebration of late urban activist Jane Jacobs with free neighborhood walking tours Saturday & Sunday that give insight into urban history, planning, and design in some 67 cities worldwide, mostly in Canada and the USA.
• “Kentucky Derby”, the 136th running of the 1st jewel in the Triple Crown of horse racing, in Lexington KY. An annual excuse for celebs to gather and drink mint juleps. Rascal Flatts performs the anthem prior to the race, carried live by NBC Sports.
• “Lei Day”, the 82nd annual in Hawaii. Observed since 1928, it’s when people give one another the gift of a kiss and a lei. Hey, you gotta like that!
• “Mother Goose Day”, which actually honors many different writers. The term was first used in the title of the nursery rhyme collection “Mother Goose’s Melody” about 1765. Nursery rhymes have been attributed to ‘Mother Goose’ ever since. What’s the most violent nursery rhyme?
• “New Homeowner’s Day”. Congratulations, you’ll be debt-free in about 25 years! Got your repair manual yet?
• “Save the Rhino Day”. It’s up to us to stick up for them because rhinoceroses fail to toot their own horn.
• “School Principals Day”, observed annually on May 1st. Too bad it’s not a school day this year.
• “Scrapbook Day”, celebrated on the 1st Saturday of May to honor what’s become a hot hobby over the last few years … ‘Scrapbooking’.

• “UNmothers Day”, an annual event a week before “Mothers Day” to honor women who’ve consciously chosen not to be mothers. It’s also “Single Mother’s Day”, celebrating those who do the work of 2 parents all by themselves, as well as “Stepmothers Day”.
• “World Laughter Day”, initiated on the 1st Sunday of May by practitioners of ‘laughter yoga’. The movement begun by Indian physician Madan Kataria in 1995 now has over 6,000 clubs in 65 countries. The idea is that 20 minutes of laughter per day promotes overall wellness.

1997 [13] In a 1st for network TV, Ellen DeGeneres ‘comes out’ on her sitcom “Ellen” (Laura Dern plays her love interest)

1939 [71] 1st public demonstration of ‘Television’ (New York World’s Fair)


1999 [11] Frenchman Fabrice Gropaiz skates up to the Arc de Triomphe 28 months and 17,000 miles after leaving Paris to become 1st to circle the globe … on roller blades!


[May 2] Blessing Of the Bikes Day / Play Your Ukulele Day
[May 3] Garden Meditation Day / Different Colored Shoes Day / Paranormal Day / World Press Freedom Day / Melanoma Monday
[May 4] Childhood Depression Awareness Day / Respect for Chickens Day / Star Wars Day
[May 5] Cartoonists Day / Cinco de Mayo (Mexico) / International Midwives Day / Totally Chipotle Day / Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day
[May 6] Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy / No Diet Day / No Homework Day / Nurses Day
[May 7] Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day / World Asthma Day / “Babies”; “Iron Man 2″ open in movie theaters
[May 8] No Socks Day / V-E Day / World Red Cross Day / Military Spouse Appreciation Day / Birthmothers Day / International Migratory Bird Day / Babysitters Day / Miniature Golf Day / Stay Up All Night Day / World Fair Trade Day
[May 9] Mothers Day / Rural Life Sunday Day / “The Amazing Race” season finalé (CBS)
[May 10] Lupus Day / Windmill Day
[May 11] Eat What You Want Day / Fibromyalgia Awareness Day / Bon Jovi “Special Edition Reissues” released
[May 12] 63rd “Cannes Film Festival” begins / Donate A Day’s Wages to Charity / Limerick Day / School Nurse Day / Third Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day
[May 13] Root Canal Appreciation Day
[May 14] Chicken Dance Day / “Country Throwdown Tour 2010″ begins (Tampa) / “Just Wright”; “Letters to Juliet”; “Robin Hood” open in movie theaters
[May 15] International Day of Families / Chocolate Chip Day / Safety Dose Day / Peace Officer Memorial Day / Pizza Party Day / US Armed Forces Day / Preakness Stakes (Baltimore)
[May 16] NASCAR Day / Biographers Day / “Survivor: Heroes vs Villains” season finalé (CBS)
[May 17] World Hypertension Day / World Telecommunications Day
[May 18] International Museum Day / Shavuot (Jewish) / Visit Your Relatives Day / Rolling Stones’ “Exile On Main Street” re-release / 58th “BMI Pop Awards” (LA) / “Glee Live! In Concert! Tour” begins (Phoenix) / Neil Young’s “Twisted Road Tour” begins (Albany NY)
[May 19] Employee Health & Fitness Day
[May 20] Eliza Doolittle Day / Weights & Measures Day
[May 21] International Virtual Assistants Day / Bike to Work Day / Wait Staff Day / Brad Paisley’s “H2O World Tour” begins (Virginia Beach VA) / “MacGruber”; “Shrek Forever After” open in movie theaters
[May 22] International Day for Biological Diversity / Maritime Day / Wig Out Day
[May 23] Taffy Day / Neighbor Day / WhitSunday / World Turtle Day / “ACM Presents: Brooks &  Dunn – The Last Rodeo” (CBS) / “Lost” series finalé (ABC)
[May 24] Victoria Day (Canada) / Brothers Day
[May 25] Missing Children Day / Tap Dance Day / Geek Pride Day
[May 26] Senior Health & Fitness Day / “American Idol” season finalé (FOX)
[May 27] Full ‘Flower’ Moon / Cellophane Tape Day / “Sex & The City 2″ opens in movie theaters / “So You Think You Can Dance” season premiere (FOX)
[May 28] Sierra Club Day / “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” opens in movie theaters
[May 29] International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers / International Jazz Day
[May 30] Hug Your Cat Day / Indianapolis 500
[May 31] Memorial Day (USA) / Spring Bank Holiday (UK) / World No-Tobacco Day
[Jun 6] “2010 MTV Movie Awards”
[Jun 8] “Glee” season finalé (FOX)


• You’re not embarrassed to show someone where your hamstring ‘really hurts’.
• You can use the word ‘endorphins’ in a sentence.
• You can watch an entire marathon without being bored senseless.
• You get excited when you hear about a new Gatorade flavor.
• You have more T-shirts than a souvenir shop.
• You have hooks in your shower for wet running clothes.
• You don’t think of cheerleaders when you think of ‘splits’.
• Your friends know to never call you after 8:30 at night.

What’s the best advice mom ever gave you?


Never try to guess your wife’s size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Today’s Question: “Wall Street Journal” reports that most men won’t spend over $40 for THIS, while most women won’t spend less than 80.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A haircut.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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