Tuesday, April 29, 2008        Edition: #3764
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

15-year-old acting & singing phenom Miley Cyrus says she’s now embarrassed and regrets posing partially clad for a series of ‘artistic’ photos by renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz for the JUNE edition of “Vanity Fair” (c’mon Billy Ray, get a handle on this stuff – it’s your daughter!) . . . “Lord Of the Rings” actors Ian McKellen & Andy Serkis will reprise their roles as ‘Gandalf’ & ‘Gollum’ in the 2 upcoming feature films based on “The Hobbit”, to be directed by Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”) when production begins in New Zealand (the first film is targeted for 2010) . . . SonyBMG, one of the world’s biggest record companies, has signed a deal with We7.com to stream tunes by its artists for free, accompanied by advertising (for downloads, you still pay) . . . Paris Hilton & Good Charlotte BF Benji Madden are being investigated for an alleged hit & run, reportedly driving over photog Glen Gurniak’s foot as they left an LA club (you can be fined for not scoring a bullseye on paparazzi) . . . Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell has hosted a tea party at London Zoo for over 70 kids to launch her new 6-book children’s series, “Ugenia Lavender”, with a new book to be published monthly MAY through OCTOBER (“Once upon a time there was a spoiled brat who had a HUGE rider on her appearance contract …”) . . . 50-year-old Donny Osmond & 49-year-old sister Marie will star in a new Las Vegas revue later THIS YEAR, performing 5 days-a-week for 26 weeks at the Flamingo Hotel (restricted to people 70-plus) . . . Actress Scarlett Johansson says she may be curvy and have platinum blonde hair but she doesn’t sleep around or have any STDs (she’s practically a saint!) . . . And actor Ashton Kutcher (“What Happens in Vegas” MAY 9) admits he loves to join his dogs in urinating in his yard every morning – because he wants to ‘feel closer to nature’ (Demi has to carry a ‘doo bag’ when they go for walks).

• Amy Winehouse – She’s recorded a tune for the next ‘James Bond’ film, “Quantum of Solace” (opening NOVEMBER 7th). Producer Mark Ronson says there’s no guarantee but hopefully it will get used.
• Babyshambles – A Paris exhibition of paintings by incarcerated frontman Pete Doherty has sparked outrage because they were created using drug needles and … his own blood.
• Britney Spears – She’s taking singing lessons in an attempt to get her career back on track. About time!
• 50 Cent – Word has it Fiddy’s become the laughing stock of the hip-hop community after taking up aerobics to get in shape for his new film role as a cop in “Streets of Blood”. Hey, what’s wrong with fidness?
• Gnarls Barkley – Cee-Lo Brown has recorded a tune called “All Dressed in Love” for the soundtrack of the new “Sex & the City” movie (out MAY 30th). It’s a collaboration with Jennifer Hudson, who also appears in the film.
• Kenny Chesney – After his onstage ankle injury in Columbia SC on the weekend, his boot had to be cut off his foot. His next “Poets & Pirates Tour” stop is scheduled for THURSDAY in Austin TX. No word yet on whether the injury is serious enough to cause ongoing probs.
• Korn – 37-year-old guitarist Rob Patterson is engaged to 36-year-old sometime actress Carmen Electra, but there’s no wedding date yet as they intend to ‘take things slow’. She was previously wed to Jane’s Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro and NBA player Dennis Rodman.
• Leona Lewis – She’s the latest to sign up for “Nelson Mandela’s 90th Birthday Celebration” in London’s Hyde Park JUNE 27th. Others expected to perform include Amy Winehouse and Queen. Rumor has it Eminem may stage a special comeback performance. Will Smith hosts.
• Mindy McCready – “NY Daily News” is claiming the “Guys Do It All the Time” singer & baseball pitcher Roger Clemens were romantically involved for a decade, beginning when he was 28 and she was … uh … 15. She’s since been involved in battery and DUI charges; he’s been trying to clear his name over allegations of steroid use.

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – This week’s mentor for the final 5 is Neil Diamond, who’s appearing to promote his new album release, “Home Before Dark” (out MAY 6th) and his 2008 world tour. Last WEDNESDAY’s results show lost 700,000 viewers from the previous week and had the show’s lowest ratings among 18-49 year-olds in 5 years. Is the phenomenon over?
• Coldplay – “Violet Hill”, the first single from the new album “Viva La Vida”, becomes available as a free download from the band’s website for 1 week beginning at 7:15 am EDT. Details will also be posted on how to get tickets to free shows at London’s Brixton Academy JUNE 16th and NYC’s Madison Square Garden JUNE 23rd. The album is out JUNE 17th.
• ”Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Def Leppard promotes the new album “Songs From the Sparkle Lounge”.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Taylor Swift performs “Picture to Burn”.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Brit alt-rocker Morrissey is a guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Alicia Keys (“No One”) performs.
• “Law & Order: SVU” (NBC/CTV) – The landmark 200th episode entitled “Authority” features guest star Robin Williams playing a creepy engineer who’s suffered a life-changing tragedy.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Rapper Lil Mama (“Girlfriend”) is on.
• Madonna – She releases her 11th studio album, “Hard Candy”, her final effort for Warner Bros before her landmark Live Nation deal. It was produced by Timbaland & Nate ‘Danja’ Hills and features collaborations with Pharrell Williams, Kanye West, and Justin Timberlake.
• Martina McBride – She releases the CD/DVD “Martina McBride: Live in Concert”. The 20-song performance was filmed in Moline IL in SEPTEMBER for PBS-TV’s “Great Performances”.
• “Saturday Night Live Special” (NBC) – Not convinced “30 Rock’s” Alec Baldwin is a comedic genius? Check out this ‘Best Of’ compilation of his 11 appearances as “SNL” host.
• Tim McGraw – His new 2-disc collection, “Greatest Hits: Limited Edition”, becomes available exclusively in Wal-Mart stores.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Natasha Bedingfield (“Pocketful of Sunshine”) is the musical guest.

• “The Diving Bell & the Butterfly” ( Biographical Drama ): The true story of “Elle” magazine editor Jean-Dominique Bauby who suffered a stroke at age 43 that paralyzed his entire body except for his left eye. He used that eye to blink out his memoirs. Director Julian Schnabel was Oscar-nominated. In French with subtitles.
• “The Golden Compass” ( Fantasy Adventure ): Nicole Kidman & Daniel Craig star in this first of an intended trilogy of films based on the Philip Pullman bestsellers. The story follows a young student (13-year-old Brit newcomer Dakota Blue Richards) who journeys to the far north to save her best friend. Also available as a ‘2-Disc Platinum Series’.
• “27 Dresses” ( Romantic Comedy ): Katherine Heigl plays a spinster-phobic perennial bridesmaid who’s already been in 27 bridal parties and now faces the ultimate indignity as the man of her dreams becomes engaged to her sister. Co-stars James Marsden (“Hairspray”).
• Also released TODAY: “Beverly Hills 90210: The 4th Season” (TV); “Cheers: The 9th Season” (TV); “The Fall Of the Roman Empire (2-Disc Limited Collector’s Edition)”; and “The Waltons: The Complete 7th Season” (TV).

• Think your dog needs a pedicure? Don’t forget the ‘Designer Dog’ nail polish. Circa $8 a bottle, it comes in numerous colors including pink, red, and … blue. (Stylin? Or just plain stupid?)
NET: http://www.petshed.com/products/category710.asp
• Recycled-goods company Planet Trash sells air fresheners made from … sterilized sheep poop. The product comes in 2 scents, ‘Grass’ and ‘Daffodil’. If that’s not gross enough for you, they also offer ‘Reycled Toothbrushes’ … for 8 bucks.
NET: http://www.shop.planettrash.co.uk/

British researchers are recruiting volunteers willing to eat a bar of chocolate every day for a year … in the name of science. The trial starts in JUNE and will explore whether compounds called flavonoids found in chocolate and other foods can reduce the risk of heart disease for menopausal women with type 2 diabetes. (There’s an excuse for you – you haven’t been guiltily pigging out … you’re part of a study and didn’t know it.)
– Reuters

According to a poll of women, here are the most important considerations when dating a guy …
5. Enjoys the same kind of foods.
4. Sense of humor.
3. Good fashion sense.
2. Grooming.
1. Hygiene.
– “The Guardian”

Butt-implant surgery is up 30%, according to plastic surgeons, and it’s not a fun procedure. One option is called a ‘Brazilian Butt Lift’. It involves extracting fat from the abs, hips, or thighs and transplanting it into the caboose. (Hard to believe that in a world increasingly full of obese people, some of us are actually looking to make out butts bigger.)
– “Cosmopolitan”

A Japanese whisky has been voted best in the world. ‘Yoichi 20-Year-Old’ is the first Scotch from outside Scotland to win the ‘Single Malt Award’ from industry bible “Whisky Magazine”. It’s distilled on the Japanese island of Hokkaido and sells for up to $300-a-bottle. Judges laud its ‘amazing mix of big smoke & sweet blackcurrant’, ‘explosive aroma’, and ‘big, long and sweet finish’. The award for ‘Best Blended Whisky’ has also gone to a Japanese brand, ‘Suntory Hibiki’, the one advertised by Bill Murray’s character in the movie “Lost In Translation”. (Now we’re expecting to hear that the world’s best sushi is made in Edinburgh.)
– “Times of London”

In Switzerland it’s becoming increasingly popular to end marriages with … a divorce ceremony. In fact, Zurich-based Protestant pastor Frank Worbs is now working on official liturgy for the event because so many couples want to end their marriages where they started – in church. Worbs says the ritual helps divorced people get over separation and achieve closure. (Do they back down the aisle afterward?)
– Ananova News

5. “Out Of Sight” (1998): George Clooney & Jennifer Lopez, from a time when we didn’t hate her.
4. “Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid” (1969): Paul Newman & Robert Redford.
3. “Reservoir Dogs” (1992): Quentin Tarantino at his best, before his films got cartoonish.
2. “Dog Day Afternoon” (1975): Al Pacino in his finest performance, from a time when we didn’t hate him.
1. “The Italian Job” (1969): The original version, starring Michael Caine.
– Condensed from HecklerSpray.com

Ancient Roman wrestling matches had only 1 rule … no eye gouging!


1954 [54] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, retired TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)/stand-up comedian  

1957 [51] Daniel Day-Lewis, London UK, movie actor (2008 Oscar-“There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-“My Left Foot”)

1958 [50] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, movie actress (“Hairspray”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)/Mrs David E Kelley since 1993

1969 [39] Master P (Percy Miller), New Orleans LA, P Miller Enterprises CEO (net worth $500 million-plus)/recording mogul (Take A Stand Records, No Limit Records)/movie actor (“Gone in 60 Seconds”, “Hollywood Homocide”)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2006)/rapper (“Them Jeans“, “Make Em Say Uhh“)/father of actor-rapper Romeo

1970 [38] Andre Agassi, Las Vegas NV, retired pro tennis player (8 Grand Slam titles, Olympic gold medal)/Mr Steffi Graf since 2001/ex-Mr Brooke Shields (1997-99)

1970 [38] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Kill Bill”, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)

• “Adult Public Skipping Day”, a day for adults to skip in public to feel like a child again.

• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance among the public, as well as to persuade governments worldwide to provide a proper place for dance in all systems of education, from primary to higher.

• “Moment of Laughter Day”, a day set aside to experience the ‘power of mirth’.

• “National Arbor Day”, honoring America’s trees. Many states observe Arbor Day on different dates according to their best tree-planting times.

• “Zipper Day” celebrating the 1913 date when Swedish-American inventor Gideon Sundback, who developed the manufacturing machine for zippers, patented the ‘Separable Fastener’ which becomes the 1st all-purpose zipper (his Lightning Fastener Company was based in St Catharines ON). (in 1937 the zipper replaces the button as the ‘fly’ in most trousers).

1992 [16] Singer & future “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul weds actor Emilio Estevez in Santa Monica CA (marriage lasts 2 years)

2005 [03] Actors Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes go out on a their 1st date (or programming session if you prefer)

2005 [03] Coldplay, Nine Inch Nails, and Bon Jovi play the 10th anniversary bash for the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas

1852 [156] 1st edition of “Roget’s Thesaurus” (where do you go to look up another word for ‘thesaurus’?)

1880 [128] ‘Bell Telephone Co of Canada’ (‘Ma Bell’) is formed (about 125 years before those annoyingly dumb beavers become spokes-animals in ads)

1995 [13] ‘World’s Longest Sausage’ measures 28.77 miles in Kitchener ON (Tommy Lee immediately appeals)

[Wed] Hairstylist Appreciation Day
[Wed] Honesty Day
[Wed] International Walk Day
[Wed] Canadian Income Tax deadline
This Week Is … Fairy Godmother Week
This Month Is … Sports Eye Safety Month


• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• How come the idiot in front of you in the supermarket express lane always picks the one item that has no price on it?
• Shouldn’t we all be given the chance to prove that money can’t make us happy?
• Does following the path of least resistance make both rivers and people crooked?
• If we quit voting will they all go away?

What’s the all-time best driving song, the one that makes you crank it up and lower the windows?

A jury is made up of 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

What was the play-starting ‘face-off’ in hockey once called?
a. Ice-tap.
b. Tip-off.
c. Puck-off. [CORRECT. Changed for obvious reasons.]

Today’s Question: 1-in-12 babies born today has THIS in common.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their mommies are 35 or older when they’re born. (“Marie Claire Magazine”)

The world is full of cactus but you don’t have to sit on it.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Issue!

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