Thursday, April 24, 2008        Edition: #3761
Deja Moo!

CNN interviewer Larry King has extended his contract to continue hosting his talk show until at least 2010, when he’ll be 77-years-old (he actually died 3 years ago but no one had the heart to tell him) . . . In a new UK poll of under-25s, Amy Winehouse & Pete Doherty have been picked the female & male ‘Ultimate Heroes’ (seems no ax murderers are well enough known) . . . Due to his participation on “American Idol”, contestant David Archuleta is going to miss his high school prom (since when do 10-year-olds go to prom?) . . . To much ballyhoo Venezuela’s state-controlled broadcaster recently pulled “The Simpsons” off-the-air due to its ‘bad influence on children’; now its morning time slot is quietly being filled by – reruns of “Baywatch” (which teaches tykes how to count – in pairs)  . . . Britney Spears is reportedly refusing to reprise her guest role on ”How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) – until she’s seen the script (this from the girl who starred in “Crossroads”) . . . Nokia’s new “Comes With Music Service”, scheduled to launch first in England later THIS YEAR, allows consumers who buy Nokia devices access to the SonyBMG and Universal Music Group music catalogues for a year (giving you time to download every single tune) . . . According to blabbermouth witnesses, former acting couple Owen Wilson & Kate Hudson have been spotted in Miami getting all romantic again (let’s hope their relationship doesn’t end in another tragedy like last time – “Fool’s Gold”) . . . President Bush’s appearance THIS WEEK on TV game show “Deal Or No Deal” (NBC/Global) had lower than expected ratings (he’s used to that by now) . . . Lindsay Lohan has been spotted out on the town in NYC, hammering back cocktails, smoking cigarettes, and screeching at one of the Olsen twins to stay away from her (girl?) friend, Samantha Ronson (a sober Linds’ is sooo boring – good to have you back, Barfy!) . . . And “24” star Keifer Sutherland has apparently agreed to an upcoming guest appearance on CTV’s “Corner Gas” (hopefully terrorists will blow up ‘Hank’).

• AC/DC – Frontman Brian Johnson reveals they’ve finished recording their new album in Vancouver and it’s being polished for a late 2008 release. He also confirms a tour will follow.
• Beyoncé – A signed marriage licence confirming her wedding to Jay-Z has been filed in Scarsdale NY, meaning it’s official even though the couple refuses to confirm it.
• Bon Jovi – Richie Sambora’s lawyer has cut a deal whereby his client pleads guilty to 1 charge of misdemeanor DUI stemming from the MARCH 25th incident in Laguna Beach CA in return for 3 years probation, a 3-month alcohol education class, and legal fees.
• John Lennon – A court case starting in Boston MA NEXT WEEK will decide the fate of film footage of the late Beatle smoking pot and discussing putting LSD in Richard Nixon’s tea. The case pits Yoko Ono vs Lawrence MA-based World Wide Video.
• Mariah Carey – The 38-year-old diva seems to be enjoying the company of 27-year-old actor Nick Cannon (“Bobby”, “Drumline”). They’ve been spotted together in Vegas and she’s reportedly asked that he accompany her to a MAY performance at the “Cannes Film Festival”.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s signed a ‘7-figure’ book deal to tell the ‘story of her life’ (she’s 15). It’s planned for release NEXT SPRING by the Disney Book Group.
• Nas – He & singer-wife Kelis are threatening a $100-million lawsuit against the city of Miami, accusing cops of racial profiling. LAST YEAR she was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest after allegedly screaming racial obscenities at 2 undercover officers.
• Toby Keith – The “She’s a Hottie” country star has just scheduled his 6th USO tour to the Persian Gulf where he’ll perform 18 shows in 6 days.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Ashlee Simpson will no doubt avoid the pregnancy question again in an attempt to create some hype around her new album, “Bittersweet World”. Late night TONIGHT, she does “ Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• “ER” (NBC/CTV) – 83-year-old Oscar-nominee Hal Holbrook (“Into the Wild”) guest stars, undoubtedly beginning the journey toward an Emmy Award guest star nomination.
• “Grey’s Anatomy“ (ABC/CTV) – One of TV’s top dramas finally returns with a new post-strike episode. Amy Madigan joins the cast as a therapist who helps ‘Meredith’ get it together.
• “Lost” (ABC/CTV) – TV’s quirkiest drama moves to a new 10 pm timeslot.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Dallas TX alt-country band The Old 97’s perform.
• “Ugly Betty” (ABC/CityTV) – In an ‘all-new’ return episode, ‘Henry’s baby mama (Jayma Mays) returns, as does ‘Wilhelmina’s sister (Gabrielle Union). You might notice star America Ferrera is looking svelte, having lost a lot of weight to play a runner in an upcoming movie.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Frankie & Alice” – Looks like Halle Berry’s mat leave is almost over. She’s signed on to produce and star in this psychological drama about a woman who suffers from multiple personality disorder. The twist is … one of the personalities is a racist Caucasian.
• “He’s Just Not That Into You” – Jennifer Aniston’s big-budget romantic comedy, her first release since “The Break-Up” 2 years ago, isn’t going to screen anytime soon. The release has been pushed back from AUGUST 1st to a tentative new opening of OCTOBER 24th. Delays often signify that all is not well with a film.
• “Madea Goes to Jail” – Tyler Perry’s new comedy will feature Keshia Knight Pulliam, who played Bill Cosby’s youngest daughter ‘Rudy Huxtable’ on “The Cosby Show” … as a hooker. It’s legal – she’s now 29-years-old. Filming starts NEXT MONTH in Atlanta GA.
• “Napoleon & Betsy” – 18-year-old Brit actress Emma Watson is replacing 23-year-old Scarlett Johansson in this period drama about a noblewoman who falls for the exiled Napoleon. Co-producer Johansson apparently decided the role needs a ‘younger’ woman. Shooting begins THIS FALL before Watson does the 2-part finalé to the ‘Harry Potter’ series, “The Deathly Hallows”.
• “Wild Cherry“ – Former “Laguna Beach” reality TV star Kristin Cavallari is signed up for this ensemble comedy alongside Rob Schneider and Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis & Demi Moore). The story centers around a high school senior who plans to lose her virginity to her football player boyfriend. Hijinks ensue.

If you’re making regular monthly payments towards debt in excess of 12% of your monthly take-home pay, you’re not doing yourself financial service. In terms of your credit score and credit history, lenders look to see how much debt available to you that you’re using, what’s called your ‘Debt-Utilization Ratio’. They like to see you owe no more than 30% of the debt you have available to you. (In other words, ‘min’ out your credit card to improve your rating.)
– “Men’s Health”

• We buy things for our kids on impulse.
• We give them too many choices.
• We do not acknowledge selfishness in our children.
• We allow them to be wasteful.
• We raise them to be spoiled brats.
• We don’t know our kids’ friends.
• We don’t teach them to value an education.
• We don’t take the time to take them to the library.
• We’re too busy to monitor their TV, computer, and video game usage.

If you’re looking to get more fuel efficiency in these days of soaring gasoline prices, you need to pay more attention to where you’re going and when. Trips to the grocery store, dry cleaners and shopping centers should be planned so you are not wasting time retracing your route. If you have multiple vehicles, drive the one that has the better mileage. Make a list of what you need so you don’t forget something and have to make a return trip. (Are the days of ‘cruising’ over?)
– “Forbes”

Recent research shows that women relax their standards on how tall they want a potential mate to be if the guy makes enough money. So what’s enough? A 5-ft-6 guy would need to make $175,000 MORE per year than a 6-ft man to be ‘desirable’. (The reason short guys try harder.)
– “Cosmopolitan”

A Brazilian priest is missing after attempting to set a new record for flying with helium-filled balloons. Father Adelir Antonio de Carli was suspended in a harness-like seat underneath 1,000 brightly colored balloons when he began his flight SUNDAY in Paranagua. He intended to fly due west but winds carried him out over the Atlantic instead. When last contacted he had traveled 55 miles and reached an altitude of over 16,000 ft. An official in the coastal town of Sao Francisco do Sul confirms that balloon bits have been found all along the coast. (We’re thinkin’ maybe he didn’t make it … not to burst anybody’s balloon.)
– Reuters

• Each year Americans throw away enough office and writing paper to build a wall 12-ft-high all the way from New York to California.
• At any given time, there are an average of 100 million phone conversations going on in America.
• In general, airplane restrooms are far more unsanitary than other public restrooms.
• There are fewer deaths annually from skydiving than from bee stings.
• An idling car burns 1.6 oz (47 ml) of gasoline per minute.


1934 [74] Shirley MacLaine (Beaty), Richmond VA, movie actress (“Bewitched“, Oscar-“Terms of Endearment”)/Warren Beatty’s big sister

1940 [68] Sue Grafton, Louisville KY, top-selling mystery novelist whose fictional detective ‘Kinsey Millhone’ has appeared in alphabetical best-sellers all the way from “A is for Alibi” to “T is for Trespass”

1942 [66] Barbra Streisand, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Meet the Fockers”, Oscar-“Funny Girl”)/film director (“The Prince of Tides”)/pop singer (“Tell Him”)/only person to receive Academy Award, Tony, Emmy, Grammy, Golden Globe, CableACE & Peabody/Mrs James Brolin since 1998  FACTOID: Her rep’s denying that she cancelled a planned appearance at Israel’s 60th anniversary celebrations MAY 8th as a snub to President Bush, who’s scheduled to attend.

1964 [44] Cedric the Entertainer (Cedric Kyles), Jefferson City MO, comedic movie actor (“Code Name: The Cleaner”, “Barbershop”)

1964 [44] Djimon Hounsou (‘JI-mon HAN-soo’), Cotonou, Benin, movie actor (“Blood Diamond”, “Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life”)/BF of soon-to-be-divorced Kimora Lee Simmons

1982 [26] Kelly Clarkson, Fort Worth TX, Grammy Award-winning pop singer (“Because Of You”, “Since U Been Gone”)/original “American Idol” winner (2002)

1984 [24] Tyson Ritter, Stillwater OK, rock singer/bassist (All American Rejects- “Dirty Little Secret”, “It Ends Tonight”)

• “Ambivalence Day”, which we’re not sure how to celebrate … or even if it’s worth the effort.

• “Pigs in a Blanket Day” when we’re encouraged to cook up some sausage; make some pancakes; then wrap the sausage inside of a pancake; add maple syrup … and chow down!

• “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”, observed for over 15 years on the 4th THURSDAY of APRIL as a way of exposing young people to what a parent or mentor does for a living, thereby showing them the value of education and balancing work & family life.

• “World Day For Laboratory Animals”, founded by the National Anti-Vivisection Society on behalf of the – quote – ‘billions of animals who are burnt, sliced, crushed, electrocuted, gassed, poisoned with toxic chemicals, psychologically tormented, and killed each year in labs around the world’ (as opposed to those we just eat). There is some good news: Over the past 30 years there’s been a 30% decline in the number of studies using animals as increasingly more researchers turn to alternative testing methods.

1992 [16] Rocker David Bowie and fashion model Iman are married in a secret ceremony in Switzerland

1901 [107] 1st ‘American League’ baseball game (Chicago White Sox 8, Cleveland Indians 2)

1983 [25] 1st snooker player with maximum 147-point break in a World Championship (Canada’s Cliff Thorburn)

2005 [03] Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is inaugurated the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church and takes the name Benedict XVI

1992 [16] Terry Cole balances a world record 220 cigar boxes on his chin for 9 seconds in London UK

1994 [14] ‘Fastest Backwards Marathon’ of 3 hrs, 53 mins, 17 secs is run by Timothy Badnya in Toledo OH

[Fri] “Baby Mama”; “Deception”; and “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Anzac Day (Australia/NZ)
[Fri] 39th New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins
[Fri-Sun] Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (Indio CA)
[Sat] Pretzel Day
[Sat-Sun] NFL draft (NYC)
[Sun] Hairball Awareness Day
[Sun] Sense of Smell Day
This Week Is … Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is … Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month


• You buy a car for its safety rating.
• You only get to eat steak on ‘special occasions’.
• You get religious every time you get seriously ill.
• You know your resting heart rate.
• You say “we’re pregnant” instead of “she’s pregnant.”
• Friday night is ‘whoopee’ night.
• The first thing you think about before going anywhere is the ‘bathroom situation’.
• Hookers always telling you, “Not on the first date!”

This should excite some passionate discussion – a new ranking of the best Canadian beers …
10. Labatt 50
9. Molson Dry
8. Kokanee
7. La Fin du Monde
6. Sleeman’s Honey Brown Lager
5. Alexander Keith’s India Pale Ale
4. Moosehead
3. Molson Export
2. Molson Canadian
1. Labatt Blue

Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges.

In which country did drinking tea originate?
a. China. [CORRECT. Legend has it that Emperor Shen Nung was drinking boiled water circa 2700 BC when the leaves from a wild tea bush fell into it.]
b. India.
c. England.

If you were to put an original “No [something]” sign on your front door, what would it ban?

Today’s Question: A survey finds that the average one THESE lasts about 10 hours.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A bad mood.

Disagreements seldom end on ‘whatever’.

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