Thursday, April 19, 2007        Edition: #3513
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Tom Cruise hosts a benefit gala in NYC for the ‘New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project’, a controversial ‘detox program’ for 9/11 workers run by the Church of Scientology (tix for the fundraiser range up to $100,000 – each) . . . It’s party time in Mumbai as the multi-day festivities are underway for India’s ‘wedding of the year’ between 2 of Bollywood’s biggest movie stars, Aishwarya Rai & Abhishek Bachchan, which culminates FRIDAY with the actual Hindu ceremony . . . Reports say “Survivor’s” 15th season will be filmed in China which, if true, would mark the first-ever production of an entire US TV series in that country . . . Meantime, TV producer Mark Burnett’s summer reality show “Pirate Master” (CBS), which filmed in the Caribbean in MARCH, will debut exactly 7 years after his “Survivor” series premiered, MAY 31st (not coincidentally, just 6 days after “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” opens in theaters) . . . 38-year-old rocker Marilyn Manson has confirmed the rumors – his new girlfriend is 19-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood (“Running With Scissors”, “Thirteen”) . . . Brit pop star Robbie Williams (“Angels”) has reportedly given his LA neighbor, movie actor Joe Pesci (“Goodfellas”), a $350,000 Bentley to make peace after the actor went berserk over vehicles owned by Williams’ friends blocking his driveway, threatening to smash windshields with a golf club . . . Larry Birkhead has confirmed his baby daughter via Anna Nicole Smith, Dannielynn, has now officially had her surname changed to ‘Birkhead’ from ‘Stern’ . . . And Florida governor Charlie Crist says he’s ‘seriously considering’ a pardon for late Doors frontman Jim Morrison on an indecent exposure conviction after fans signed a petition initiated by “Doors Collectors Magazine” (no real need to rush – the Miami concert in question occurred in 1969!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – TODAY she’s again featured on “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Elton John – He’s lending his name & image to the Balasahyoga Project, a campaign which helps highlight the dangers of AIDS and HIV in India.
• HelloGoodbye – TODAY the California popsters (“Here In Your Arms”) appear on “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic ).
• Josh Turner – TONIGHT he records his 1st live album at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. The CD will be available exclusively through the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain THIS SUMMER.
• Keith Urban – TODAY he kicks off the 9-day European leg of his “Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy World Tour” in Munich, Germany.
• Madonna – She’s proposing to take over the Home of Hope orphanage in Malawi where she found her adopted son David because the current administrator is set to retire. She’s also reportedly looking for a property in the African country, so she can spend up to a month each year checking her various local charity projects.
• OK Go – TONIGHT they perform “Do What You Want” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Paul Wall – TONIGHT the Houston TX rapper does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Rihanna – She’s dismissing reports that she’s dating singer/actor Omarion. They have enjoyed a series of dinner dates together, but are apparently ‘just friends’.
• Tokyo Police Club – TONIGHT the Canadian indie rockers from Newmarket ON perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• U2 – Bono has met with German chancellor Angela Merkel and convinced her to allow him to use the G8 summit in northern Germany in JUNE to further plead his case for debt reduction in Africa.
• The Wilkinsons – THIS WEEK filming on a video for the Canadian country act’s new single “Nobody Died” is proceeding in Toronto despite the Virginia Tech massacre. The song was inspired by horrific past school shootings such as the Columbine High School tragedy in 1999.

FUTURE FLICKS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Body of Lies” – Leonardo DiCaprio is set to star in this Ridley Scott-directed action flick about a former journalist injured in the Iraq War who is hired by the CIA to track down an al-Qaeda leader in Jordan. Based on the best-selling novel of the same name by David Ignatius. Production begins THIS FALL in Morocco.
• “The Incredible Hulk” – It’s true: comparatively scrawny Edward Norton has been signed to replace Eric Bana in the sequel to 2003′s “Hulk”, directed by “The Transporter’s” Louis Leterrier. It will chronicle ‘Bruce Banner’s quest to cure his green-tinged condition. Norton’s gonna need a lot of gym work to beef up for the role. The film is set for a JUNE 2008 release.
• “Shrek the 3rd” – The movie opens MAY 18th and the soundtrack (out MAY 15th) contains some intriguing tunes, including Fergie’s cover of the Heart classic “Barracuda”, and a duet between Eddie Murphy (‘Donkey’) & Antonio Banderas (‘Puss in Boots’) on Sly & the Family Stone’s “Thank You”. The album also features Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”, Paul McCartney’s “Live & Let Die”, Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle”, and the Ramones’ “Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio”.
• “Speed Racer” – Emile Hirsch & “Black Snake Moan-er” Christina Ricci are signed to appear in this live-action remake of the classic 1960s Japanese animated series. It chronicles the aspirations of a young race car driver as he attempts to obtain glory with the help of his family and the ‘Mach 5′, an advanced car created by his father. “The Matrix” masterminds Larry & Andy Wachowski begin shooting the flick this JUNE in Berlin, Germany..
• “The Least of These” – “Grey’s Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington is likely set to face more controversy when he stars in this upcoming indie movie. He’ll play a priest returning to the Catholic high school where he was once sexually-abused. A sexually-abused Catholic priest … now there’s a twist!

THE END OF AN ERA:
The world’s oldest continuously operating family business has ended its impressive run. Japanese temple builder Kongo Gumi, in operation under the founders’ descendants since 578, has succumbed to excess debt and an unfavorable business climate. How do you make a family business last for 14 centuries? Kongo Gumi’s case suggests that it’s a good idea to operate in a stable industry, and few industries could be less flighty than Buddhist temple construction. (They should have stuck with brothel building.)
– “Business Week”

Z-TIME FOR TOTS:
Experts say most 3- and 4-year-olds need about 10-to-12 hours of sleep out of every 24 hours to keep their disposition sweet and to give them a lot of energy. It also helps them to grow a little taller too, as studies show that tiny tots do most of their growing when they’re sound asleep. It’s easier to get them to sleep that long if they get plenty of outdoor exercise and they’re encouraged to stay awake between nap time and bedtime. (Now if they could just figure out how parents of toddlers can get some much-needed rest!)
– “Washington Post”

Z-TIME FOR GUYS:
Now it’s been scientifically proven: Sharing a bed with someone temporarily reduces men’s intellect. According to a new Austrian study, when a guy spends the night with someone his normal sleeping pattern is disturbed – whether or not there’s any hanky-panky – and this impairs mental ability the next day. Women who share a bed, on the other hand, seem to fare a little better because they sleep more soundly. Sleep expert Dr Neil Stanley says we were never meant to sleep in the same bed with someone else. He claims it’s a bizarre thing to do. (His story was told in the movie, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”.)
– “New Scientist”

FRYING THE FAT:
Here’s an offshoot of the escalating obesity problem – it’s becoming increasingly difficult to fit fat carcasses into a crematorium. Our ever-expanding waistlines are forcing many of them to spend thousands widening their furnaces. In some cases, grieving relatives have to travel hundreds of miles to find crematoria that can accommodate over-sized coffins. Standard caskets range from 16-20 inches-wide but oversize units up to 40 inches are becoming increasingly common. (As is the new ‘Hummer Hearse’.)
– BBC News

CRACKBERRY COLD TURKEY:
You may be seeing more than the tops of commuters heads this morning for the first time in a long time. An unidentified technical problem has left some 8 million international BlackBerry users without wireless e-mail since TUESDAY evening. The problem lies in systems operated by Research in Motion, the Canadian company that makes the BlackBerry. All messages traveling to and from the handheld devices pass through special e-mail servers that are based near RIM’s headquarters in Waterloo ON. (To keep all you users in shape this morning, we’re all going to do ‘thumb-ups’ for the next 15 minutes.)
– AHN

BS AMAZING FACT:
The largest human organ is the skin, with a surface area of about 25 square feet.

AND WE QUOTE:
“The philosophy that I’ve embraced isn’t about sitting under a tree and studying my navel, it’s about studying what is going on in my daily life and using that as fuel to go and live a bigger life.”
– Movie star Orlando Bloom on his Buddhist faith, which he says helped him get through his split with actress Kate Bosworth.

BS CHRONOMETER 04.19.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1965 [42] (Marion) ‘Suge’ Knight, Compton CA, hip-hop impresario (co-founder & former CEO of Death Row Records) who filed for bankruptcy in 2006 after a court ruled he must pay $110 million to investors

1968 [39] Ashley Judd, Granada Hills CA, movie actress (“Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood”, “Kiss the Girls”)/daughter of Naomi Judd/sister of Wynonna  COMING UP: Co-stars with Harry Connick Jr in the thriller “Bug”, opening MAY 25th.

1979 [28] Kate Hudson, LA CA, movie actress (“You, Me & Dupree”, “Almost Famous”)/actress Goldie Hawn’s daughter/Mrs Chris Robinson (Black Crowes) 2000-07/actor Owen Wilson’s girlfriend  COMING UP: Now filming “Fool’s Gold” with Matthew McConaughey in Queensland, Australia.

1978 [29] James Franco, Palo Alto CA, movie actor (‘Harry Osborn’ in “Spider-Man” films)
   
1981 [26] Hayden Christensen, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Factory Girl”, “Star Wars: Episode II & III”)

1987 [20] Maria Sharapova, Nyagan, Russia, #2 ranked women’s tennis player (2 Grand Slam singles titles, reigning US Open champ)/world’s highest-paid female athlete (endorsement deals with Nike, NEC, Prince, etc)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Garlic Day”, saluting the ‘stinking rose’ that has been cultivated as long as history has been recorded. A few stinky facts …
– Over 5,000 years ago, Chinese herbalists used garlic to reduce blood pressure. As a medicinal herb, it’s also believed to provide protection against heart disease & cancer, colds & flu, high cholesterol, and plaque buildup in arteries. Garlic has also been used as a treatment for toothaches, acne and warts.
– In Medieval times, it was believed that garlic worn as a necklace would stop your soul from leaving your body.
– Spraying yourself with garlic oil will repel mosquitoes.
– It’s said that if you rub a clove on garlic on your partner’s feet at night, you’ll taste it on his or her breath the next morning.

• “High Five Day”, when without inhibition we are encouraged to freely exchange high fives between all genders, races, heights, and social classes.
NET: http://www.nationalhighfiveday.com

• “International Whistlers Convention”, the 34th annual through Sunday in the historic town of  Louisburg NC, the world’s ‘whistling capital’. There’s the ‘International Whistling Competition’ for adults, teens & kids, of course, plus a ‘School for Whistlers’ and tours of the ‘Whistlers Museum’. If you want more info, just give them a whistle …
PHONER: 919.496.4771/919.496.1191
NET: http://www.whistlingiwc.com/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1967 [40] ‘James Bond’ spoof film “Casino Royale” starring Peter Sellers & David Niven is released in movie theaters

1987 [20] “The Simpsons” debuts as a cartoon short between skits on the 2nd episode of “The Tracey Ullman Show” (FOX)

2001 [06] Mel Brooks mega-hit musical “The Producers” opens on Broadway (closes THIS SUNDAY)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1951 [56] 1st ‘Miss World Contest’ (1st beauty pageant to feature contestants in bikinis)

2001 [06] Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield lifts off on Space Shuttle mission to deliver the ‘Space Station Remote Manipulator System’ (SSRMS), Canada’s 1st contribution to the International Space Station (he later becomes 1st Canadian to walk in space)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] 420 ‘Hippy Holiday’
[Fri] Astronomy Day
[Fri] “Fracture”; “Hot Fuzz”; “Vacancy” open in movie theaters
[Sat] NBA playoffs begin
[Sun] Earth Day
[Mon] St George’s Day Holiday (NL)
[Mon-Apr 29] 13th TV-Turnoff Week
This Week Is … Week of the Ocean
This Month Is … Child Abuse Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS PICK-UP LINES:
• “Hey, aren’t you that kid my big brother used to throw dog crap at?”
• “Check out this torso: It’s ribbed … for pleasure.”
• “You look like the kind of girl that doesn’t make men pay for it.”
• “Let me tell you, after 6 beers I’ll do it with anyone.”
• “It’s weird, but you totally remind me of this hermaphrodite who lived in my dorm.”
• “My mom says I’m the best kisser in the neighborhood.”
• “Hey beautiful, what say you cook me dinner for 40 years while I watch hockey on the couch?”
• “If you ask really nicely, I’ll write my initials on your neck … in hickies.”
• “Hey, you live right across the street from me. I know this because of my telescope.”
• “Bitchin’ funeral, right?”
• “You look familiar … haven’t I stalked you before?”
• “Maybe it’s all the beer talkin’, but I would love to vomit on your bedside table tonight.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
The dye used to stamp the grade on meat is edible, made from grape skins. So why can’t they stamp the ID on fruit instead of slapping on those annoying hard-to-remove stickers?

BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s proof old rockers never die, they just take up … metal detecting. Huh? Yup, former Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman (1962-93) is now selling metal detectors online … you know the kind you use to scan beaches for lost change. Unlike the Stones these days, he might even strike solid gold!
NET: http://www.billwymandetector.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not as think as you dumb I am.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women and left-handed people are more likely to do THIS to you than right-handed people or men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Steal stuff off your plate.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Rather than trying to find the right person, try being the right person.


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