Monday, April 16, 2007        Edition: #3510
Sheet Happens!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• After nearly 5 years as a couple, Britain’s 24-year-old Prince William & his 25-year-old girlfriend Kate Middleton have called it quits. They met in 2001 when both were studying at Scotland’s St Andrews University. Interestingly, the split comes just a month after a photo surfaced of the prince groping a female party-goer, a pic that caused a big stir in the UK.
– “The Sun”
• It ain’t over yet! Anna Nicole Smith’s mom Virgie Arthur wants custody of her grandchild Danielynn in the event of now-proven father Larry Birkhead’s death. Her demands, and his refusal, are delaying Birkhead from gaining custody of the baby. They have until FRIDAY to hammer out an agreement that works for both of them or it’s back to court … again.
– “NY Daily News”
• No surprise here: A new survey says Angelina Jolie ‘Makes Men Sweat’ more than any other woman. In the ‘Right Guard Good Sport Index’ poll, Jolie received 27% of the vote, beating out Jessica Alba (17%), Beyoncé (16%), Scarlett Johansson (8%) & Charlize Theron (7%). At the other end of the spectrum, Ozzy Osborne was voted ‘Sweatiest Rock Star’.
– TMZ.com
• Actress Halle Berry scoffed down raw fish so she could throw up on cue – and look authentic doing it – in the new movie “Perfect Stranger”. The Oscar-winner feared fake vomiting would look silly in the movie, so she ate the fish she hates most … and puked for real.
– World Entertainment News Network
• 20-year-old actor Shia LaBeouf (“Disturbia”) has officially been cast as the sidekick to 64-year-old Harrison Ford’s ‘Indy’ in the highly anticipated 4th “Indiana Jones” movie. The script is being kept under wraps so all that’s known for sure is that it will be set sometime in the 1950s. The as-yet-untitled flick is due to start shooting in JUNE for release MAY 22nd, 2008.
– “USA Today”
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was so impressed by the biodiesel makeover he took part in on an upcoming environmentally-themed “Pimp My Ride” show (MTV), he insisted that the mechanics install the same engine under the bonnet of his gas-guzzling Hummer. Great Arnie, now what about the other 5 in the gubernatorial garage?
– Starpulse News Blog
• Universal Studios Florida in Orlando is planning to replace its recently closed down “Back to the Future” attraction with one paying homage to “The Simpsons”. “Travel with Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa & Maggie” is scheduled to open in the summer of 2008. The theme switch could also happen later at Universal theme parks in Hollywood CA & Osaka, Japan if it proves popular.
– “LA Weekly”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – They once tried to buy the film rights to “The Lord of the Rings”. BBC News reports that John would have played ‘Gollum’, George ‘Gandalf’, Paul ‘Frodo’, and Ringo ‘Sam’.
• Don Ho – The Hawaiian crooner made famous by the hit single, “Tiny Bubbles” (1966), died of heart failure over the weekend at age 76.
• Green Day – Billy Joe Armstrong has been volunteering a lot of his time, helping to rebuild houses in New Orleans LA destroyed by Hurricane Katrina in 2005.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s invited former Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh to join his band for “Flip Flop Summer Tour 2007“ shows beginning in Las Vegas NEXT MONTH.
• Lily Allen – TONIGHT the Brit popster (“Smile”) performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Paul McCartney – He’ll pay tribute to his late wife Linda in the title of his upcoming album, “Memory Almost Full”, which is reportedly an anagram for ‘For My Soulmate LLM’ (Linda Louise McCartney).
• Sara Evans – Her estranged husband Craig Schelske has now filed a $20-million slander suit against her divorce attorneys, accusing them of besmirching Schelske’s reputation. If you’ve ever been besmirched, you know how painful that can be.
• Snoop Dogg – He’s just listed his 8-bedroom, 5-and-a-half bath home in Claremont CA for $2 million. Among the amenities: 4-car garage, tennis court, pool, home theater, recording studio and, no doubt, the lingering scent of weed.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TODAY KCAA 1050 AM Loma Linda CA begins airing a “Best of Imus” radio marathon in defiance of the infamous jock’s firing. It begins with the show that got him sacked. We can only surmise this station is desperate for audience. We say the guy’s been doing the same racist schtick for 30 years … his firing is long overdue.
• TONIGHT at the 6th annual “CMT Music Awards”, Jeff Foxworthy returns for the 3rd consecutive year to host country music’s only fan-voted awards show, live from the Curb Event Center in Nashville TN. Leading nominations with 3 apiece are Carrie Underwood, Dixie Chicks, Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts, and Sugarland. Performers include Bon Jovi, Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Hank Williams Jr, Keith Urban (from Australia), Kenny Chesney, Martina McBride, Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, Tim McGraw, and Toby Keith. The final 4 nominees for ‘Video of the Year’ will be announced at the beginning of the show and fans can vote throughout the telecast. Kris Kristofferson receives the ‘Johnny Cash Visionary Award’ for lifetime achievement.
NET: http://www.cmt.com/shows/events/cmt_music_awards/2007/
• TONIGHT “Spider-Man 3” has its worldwide premiere in Tokyo, Japan. Those expected to attend include director Sam Raimi, series creator Stan Lee, and stars Tobey Maguire & Kirsten Dunst. The film will be released in various parts of Africa, Europe, and Asia before opening in North America and the UK on MAY 4th.

WACKY WORLD OF BS:
• In Japan, McDonald’s customers can now point their cellphones at the wrapping on their hamburgers and get nutrition information on their screens. Japanese users can also point their phones at billboards to receive movie trailers, and at magazine ads to receive insurance quotes, and they can board airplanes using their phones rather than paper tickets. Sometimes they even use them to make an actual phone call!
– “New York Times”
• A 67-year-old retired soldier & his 63-year-old wife have committed suicide  in Hyderbad, India because … their dog died. After hosting a somber burial ceremony for their pet of 13 years, the couple went off to their bedroom to hang themselves. They were found next to a suicide note explaining they simply could not carry on living without their friend. Um, over-reacting a tad? Maybe if it was a cat …
– News.com.au
• Michael Buday of Los Angeles & his fiancée Diana Bijon are suing California because it’s difficult for him to adopt his future wife’s surname when they marry. They contend it shouldn’t be harder for men than women. The wife of late singer Don Ho likely wishes this was challenged earlier.
– “Social Studies

MOST COSTLY CELEB SPLITS:
If Paul McCartney gets away with paying his ex-, Heather Mills, circa $60 million as reported, it’ll be chump change compared to the big-time pay-outs in this new ranking of the priciest celebrity divorce settlements of all-time …
5. Movie actor Kevin Costner vs 1st wife Cindy Silva … $80 million, 1994.
4. Movie actor Harrison Ford vs 1st wife Melissa Mathison … $85 million, 2004.
3. Director Steven Spielberg vs 1st wife Amy Irving … $100 million, 1989.
2. Singer Neil Diamond vs 2nd wife, Marcia Murphey … $150 million, 1996.
1. Former NBA star Michael Jordan vs estranged wife Juanita Vanoy … it’s estimated she stands to collect $150 million-plus!
– “Forbes Magazine”

WORD-OF-THE-DAY:
The chief editor of the venerable “Oxford English Dictionary” has opened a file on the word ‘meh’. While not yet considered popular enough to deserve an entry in the esteemed tome, it may gain entry in the future. For the uninitiated, ‘meh’ is used randomly online as the ultimate dismissal. ‘Meh’ is a synonym for ‘blah’, ‘whatever’, ‘who cares’, ‘ho-hum’, etc. The first example of ‘meh’ in print occurred in 2003 when the “Edmonton Sun” ran the headline: “Ryan Opray got voted off Survivor. Meh.” (Next they’ll be looking at ‘agh’.)
– “The Guardian”

PERFECT PIG:
When you bite into a piece of bacon, the ideal sound should register 0.5 decibel. To achieve this optimal crunchiness, a level determined after more than 1,000 hours of testing, Leeds University researchers suggest placing 2 or 3 slices of bacon under a preheated oven grill for 7 minutes at about 475 F (240 C). ([Co-host] is shocked … she’d only been boiling her bacon for 5.)
– mentalfloss.com

THESE SHOES SUCK:
Electrolux Corp has unveiled prototype shoes that vacuum as the wearer walks. The ‘Dustmate’ shoe, made of bright green nylon with a flexible rubber sole, has a built-in tiny vacuum engine inside the base and a movement sensor that turns them on and off. (And why not underwear?)
– “Irish Times”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The elephant is the only animal that has been taught to stand on its head.

AND WE QUOTE:
“I just want to say that I’m just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it is just so nice. Like, oh my God. Like the other day like I was sitting there and I saw all these magazines and they said I was pregnant and like it’s so true. It was so right and like my management totally knew what they were doing when they sent me to rehab. So right you know?”
– Britney Spears, perhaps proving she needs another round of rehab?

BS CHRONOMETER 04.16.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1927 [80] Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger), Marktl am Inn, Germany, 265th and reigning Pope/head of the Roman Catholic Church/Sovereign of the Vatican City State since 2005

1947 [60] Gerry Rafferty, Paisley, Scotland, oldies singer (“Baker Street”, “Right Down the Line”)

1954 [53] Ellen Barkin, NYC, movie actress (“Sea of Love”, “The Big Easy”)  UP NEXT: “Ocean’s 13”, opening JUNE 8th.

1964 [43] David Pirner, Green Bay WI, alt-rock singer/guitarist (Soul Asylum-“Runaway Train”)

1965 [42] Martin Lawrence, Frankfurt-am-Maim, Germany, movie actor (“Wild Hogs” “Bad Boys 1-2”, “Big Momma’s House 1-2”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Boston Marathon”, the 111th running of one of the most prestigious running races, beginning  this morning at 10 am EDT.
NET: http://www.bostonmarathon.org/

• “Eggs Benedict Day”, a day to enjoy heart-attack-on-a-plate: Poached eggs topped with back bacon (what Americans insist on calling ‘Canadian bacon’) served on toasted English muffins and slathered in Hollandaise sauce – made of even more egg-yolks and butter.

• “National Librarian Day”, honoring Dewey Decimal devotees everywhere … but not too loudly. Shhh!

• “Patriots’ Day” holiday in Maine & Massachusetts, celebrating the anniversary of the Battle of Lexington & Concord in 1775.

• “Stress Awareness Day”, focusing on one of the world’s leading health problems and a highlight of “Stress Awareness Month”.
HOW TO DE-STRESS AT THE OFFICE:
– Get out of the line of fire. Don’t sit directly across from an entrance door.
– Cover your back. Sit with your back to a wall so you’re not always worrying about what’s going on behind you.
– Always remember that you are not your job. Work is just one part of your life.
– If all else fails, eating peppermints can help relieve stress, according to “First for Women” magazine.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1863 [144] ‘Lacrosse’ 1st named Canada’s national sport (now shares designation with hockey)

1929 [78] 1st MLB team with uniform numbers (NY Yankees)

1943 [64] Chemist Albert Hoffman takes 1st ‘LSD Trip’ as a tiny amount of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide accidentally seeps through the skin of his finger

1956 [51] 1st ‘Solar Powered Radio’ (only works about 3 times a year in Vancouver)

1989 [18] Kelly Gruber becomes 1st Toronto Blue Jay to ‘Hit for the Cycle’ (Jeff Frye also accomplishes the feat in 2001)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1996 [11] Chicago Bulls win NBA-record 70th regular season game

2002 [05] 6′-11” pitcher Jon Rauch of Chicago White Sox becomes ‘Tallest Player in MLB History’ (now plays for Washington Nationals)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Canadian Equality Day
[Tues] Blah Blah Blah Day
[Tues] International Ford Mustang Day
[Tues] IRS Tax Day
[Wed] CPAs Goof-Off Day
[Wed] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Wed] Teach Children To Save Day
[Wed] International Jugglers Day
[Thurs] High Five Day
[Thurs] Garlic Day
[Fri] 420

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Bike Safety Week / Boys & Girls Club Week / Bubblegum Week / Coin Week / Crime Victims Week / Lefty Awareness Week / Library Forgiveness Week / Pan American Week / Week of the Ocean

BULL’S BITS

CLINT EASTWOOD MOVIE OR SKIN FLICK?
• “Every Which Way But Loose” [Clint]
• “Hollywood Knights” [SF]
• “Bronco Billy” [Clint]
• “Francis in the Navy” [Clint]
• “Pale Rider” [Clint]
• “Dirty Harry” [Clint]
• “Rimmerama” [SF]
• “Tug Boat” [SF]
• “The Enforcer” [Clint]
• “The Fat, The Bald & The Ugly” [SF]

TOM CRUISE MOVIE OR GAY ADULT FILM?
• “A Few Good Men” [Tom movie]
• “Fallen Angel” [GAF]
• “Endless Heat” [GAF]
• “Endless Love” [Tom movie]
• “Backdoor Lambada” [GAF]
• “The Firm” [Tom movie]
• “Risky Business” [Tom movie]
• “All the Right Moves” [Tom movie]
• “Blowout” [GAF]
• “Cocktail” [Tom movie]

BS PHONE STARTER:
Have we become overly preoccupied with sparkling white teeth, what’s being referred to as ‘toilet-bowl white’? These days virtually every reality TV show contestant has teeth so white they glare on your screen, even those ‘roughing it’ while racing around-the-world. Doesn’t it seem logical that all those hydrogen peroxide treatments are going to have a consequence someday?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not just a gardener … I’m a plant manager.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A third of females getting ready for a big date do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talk to themselves.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
He who has been bitten by 6 dogs is legitimately suspicious of the 7th.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
“The Bull Sheet” salutes these savvy subscribers who’ve just re-upped for another year: Scott Overton @ 790 CIGM Sudbury ON; The Q Morning Crew @ Q92 [CJQQ] Timmins ON; Jeff & Natasha @ EZ Rock [CKGB] Timmins ON; Jeff King @ 100.3 The Q [CKKQ] Victoria BC; and we welcome samplers that include Scott Cochran @ 101.9 The Mix [WTMX] Chicago IL; Carla Delgado @ KANW 89.1 Albuquerque NM; J Stevens @ 94.5 The Bull [CIBU] Wingham ON; and Larry Long @ 96.5 WFAT Kalamazoo MI. You can subscribe or update your subscription here: http://thebullsheet.com/location.html


Printer Friendly Version