Thursday, April 5, 2007        Edition: #3503
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY at the “Profiles In History” art auction in Calabasas CA, the lots include the creature suit from the sci-fi epic “Alien” (1979) which is expected to fetch over $100,000 (something to pop out of your shirt at that special dinner!) . . . In an upcoming episode of “CSI: Miami” about an actor killed during a stay in rehab, the forensics team investigating the facility comes across a starlet who has shaved her head (hmm, sound familiar?) . . . Only in Canada: Vanessa Thomas & Steve Ryde, the Saskatoon couple in that “Juno Awards” car giveaway screw-up (it was announced they’d won a new car, then they were later told they’d won nothing) has now rejected a (lame) offer of ‘the use of a new car for 1 year’ and say they’re going to take the matter to court (it turns out they were only supposed to SIT in the car throughout the ceremony, acting as unpaid ‘models’ for TV shots) . . . Actor John Travolta has been forced to leave his private Boeing 707 in Ireland for repairs after being forced to make an emergency landing at Shannon Airport (some sort of divine justice for promoting “Wild Hogs” in Europe?) . . . Hefty actor John Goodman is in hot holy water with a German film company after allegedly backing out of a verbal agreement to portray portly ‘Pope Sergius’ in an upcoming film about the legendary female pope, “Pope Joan” (he reneged via e-mail – from his lawyer) . . . CNN has booted “American Morning” co-anchors Miles O’Brien & Soledad O’Brien (no relation) and will replace them with Canadian-born former CBS-TV correspondent John Roberts & Kiran Chetry, who recently got the ax from FOX News Channel (TV is a lot like radio, ain’t it?) . . . Virgie Arthur, the mother Anna Nicole Smith hated, has filed papers in the Bahamas asking a judge to make her the ‘guardian ad litem’ of Smith’s daughter Dannielynn (‘ad litem’ is Latin for ‘trailer trash’) . . . . And at least one report claims ‘Brangelina’ (who now have 4 nannies!) have already begun the process of adopting yet another child, a 1-year-old girl from the central African nation of Chad, where Angelina Jolie visited late LAST MONTH (perhaps they’re looking to make the sequel movie “Cheaper by the Dozen 3”?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – TONIGHT his music will be honored in an all-star tribute gala at NYC’s Carnegie Hall. Performers include Jewel, Chris Isaak, Babyface, the Bacon Bros, Steve Earle, Bruce Hornsby, Josh Ritter, and Pete Yorn. Proceeds benefit Music for Youth.
• The Dears – Guitarist Patrick Krief has had some $18,000-worth of gear, including all his guitars & keyboards, stolen in a break-in at his rehearsal space in Montréal.
• Fergie – She claims she ‘stalked’ “Las Vegas” actor Josh Duhamel after she read in a magazine interview that he had an ‘explicit dream’ about her. She eventually tracked him down for a date and they’ve been a couple ever since.
• Kaiser Chiefs – TONIGHT the Brit band plays “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).
• Metallica – Sweden’s National Tax Board has rejected a couple’s attempt to name their infant after the band, ruling the name is too closely related to the word ‘metal’. The agency oversees the country’s national registry and doles out personal ID numbers. The parents are fighting the ruling, saying their 6-month-old daughter already responds to the name.
• Nickelback – Lead singer Chad Kroeger has reportedly had another run-in with the law at a Vancouver strip club where words were exchanged with cops causing he & a friend to be temporarily handcuffed but no charges were laid. Kroeger is awaiting trial on a DUI charge from last JUNE in Surrey BC.
• Omarion – TONIGHT the “Ice Box” singer does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT he’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“The Reaping” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Hilary Swank (with one ‘L’, two Oscars) stars as a professor who’s also a paranormal detective known for investigating religious occurrences and debunking miracles. Her latest case: A small Texas town where the 10 biblical plagues are in full force. Ironically, the 2005 movie shoot in Louisiana was also interrupted by an ‘Act of God’ – Hurricane Katrina. Creepy music & clips here …
NET: http://thereapingmovie.warnerbros.com/

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Recount” – Sydney Pollack (“The Interpreter”, Oscar-“Out of Africa”) will direct this HBO movie based on the chaotic presidential vote count in Florida in 2000. The film will not take sides in the controversy that ultimately went to the US Supreme Court, which issued a ruling that gave the Florida election – and therefore the presidency – to George W Bush. Plans call for the film to premiere in the Spring of 2008.
• “St Trinian’s” – Openly gay actor Rupert Everett plays the female principal of a posh British girls’ school in this remake of the classic 1950s slapstick series that began with “The Belles of St Trinian’s”. To portray headmistress ‘Camilla Fritton’ he claims he channeled the wife of Prince Charles, Camilla Parker-Bowles. Everett also plays the top teacher’s brother, ‘Carnaby’. The film’s due out early in 2008.
• “Winged Creatures” – This drama that revolves around the witnesses to a murder-suicide in a fast-food restaurant has already attracted a stellar cast that includes Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker, Kate Beckinsale, Guy Pearce & Dakota Fanning. And now another Oscar-winner, Jennifer Hudson, is in talks to jump on board. The film is set to begin shooting any day now in Los Angeles.
• “X-Files 2” – David Duchovny has confirmed a sequel is in the works with himself & Gillian Anderson reprising the characters that made them famous. The actor, who played ‘Agent Fox Mulder’ in both the cult TV series and the 1998 movie, reveals that “X-Files” creator Chris Carter and writer Frank Spotnitz are busy working on a script for the new film.

OUR MESSY BRAINS:
Many have referred to the human brain as the most complicated, sophisticated entity in the known universe. But Johns Hopkins University neuroscience professor David Linden says it simply isn’t true. In his new book, “The Accidental Mind”, he claims the human brain is a cobbled-together mess that’s quirky, inefficient and bizarre.  Just as the mouse brain is a lizard brain with a few modifications, Linden says the human brain is essentially just a mouse brain with ‘a few extra toppings’. (In [co-host’s] case, apparently, ‘extra cheese’.)
– “Newsweek”

BEER GOGGLES ARE USELESS:
Researchers have found that what women and men see the same way at 7 pm, men see entirely differently after 10 pm. It’s how they judge the attractiveness of the opposite gender. Studies show that as an evening wears on, a man tends to find a woman more attractive than she appeared earlier. And no, it doesn’t matter whether alcohol is imbibed or not. Women, on the other hand, will rate a guy the same both early in the evening and later on. And if she drinks, his rating actually goes down. (Clearly for guys, panic makes the plain face pretty.)
– UPI

ROBOTIC FLEAS SPRING INTO ACTION:
Sarah Bergbreiter, an electrical engineer at the University of California at Berkeley, has developed a tiny robotic flea that’s capable of jumping 30 times its height. What the heck for? The idea is that swarms of these micro-robots could eventually be used to detect chemicals or for military-surveillance. Thousands of the nano-sensors could be scattered from a plane but might not land in the most ideal positions, so making them mobile would allow them to be repositioned. The invention is part of Berkeley’s so-called ‘Smart Dust Project’. (What’s up with this? They can make computers too small to see … but they still can’t get rid of spam!)
– “Technology Review”

WATCHING TAIL:
Italian researchers at the University of Trieste have discovered that dogs wag their tails to the right when they see something familiar, such as their owners, and to the left when confronted with something they want to run away from. The scientists claim tail-wagging is an important emotional response among canines and the tail-spotting technique could be used to help veterinarians gauge an animal’s ‘state-of-mind’. (Shouldn’t be tough; there are only 3: Sniff it, lick it, and eat it.)
– “Social Studies”

CHOCOLATE & LABS:
The worst a little chocolate can do to you is add inches to your hips. But even in relatively small amounts, it can make a dog or cat sick because for them, chocolate is poison. That’s due to the caffeine and theobromine found in chocolate, stimulants that affect the central nervous system and heart muscle, as well as increasing the frequency of urination. The amount of chocolate it takes to poison your pet depends on the type of chocolate & your pet’s weight. White chocolate has the least amount of stimulants; baking chocolate or cocoa beans the highest. A 10-pound cat would need to ingest a half-pound of milk chocolate for it to be toxic. (Just to be safe, put your chocolate Easter eggs on the top shelf, kids.)
– PetPlace.com

FOR THE RECORD:
A French TGV train has smashed the world speed record for a train on a conventional track by reaching 356 mph between Paris and Strasbourg. As it passed 300 mph, guests onboard reported feeling dizzy and were unable to remain standing. The previous record, set in 1990, was 320 mph. Since their launch in 1981, French TGV trains have put many regional airlines out of business.
– BBC News

AND WE QUOTE:
A rep for Rolling Stones guitarist  Keith Richards has now downplayed the remark as an ‘April Fool’s joke’, but here’s exactly Keith told British music magazine “NME” in a recent interview: “The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.” Richards’ father, Bert, died in 2002 at age 84.

THE BULL SHEET 04.05.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [70] General Colin Powell, NYC, former US Secretary of State (2001-05)/former Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff (1989-1993)/former National Security Adviser (1987-89)

1950 [57] Agnetha Faltskog, Jonkoping, Sweden, oldies singer (ABBA-“Dancing Queen”, “Mamma Mia”)

1966 [41] Mike McCready, Pensacola FL, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“World Wide Suicide”, “Jeremy”)

1967 [40] Troy Gentry, Lexington KY, country singer (Montgomery Gentry-“Something to Be Proud Of”, “If You Ever Stop Loving Me”)/infamous tame bear hunter (fined $15,000 in November, 2006)

1972 [35] Pat Green, San Antonio TX, country singer (“Feels Just Like It Should”, “Wave On Wave”)

1973 [34] Pharrell Williams, Virginia Beach VA, hip-hop artist (w/Ludacris-“Money Maker”, w/Snoop Dogg-“Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/music producer (his writing & producing duo The Neptunes have manufactured hits for Gwen Stefani, Usher, Nelly, Jay-Z & many others)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Equal Pay Day”, promoting equal pay for equal work. (In which case, [co-host] is WAY overpaid!)

• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, all or nothing, start giving 110%, let ‘er rip, balls to the wall!

• “Make Your Children Laugh Day”, because it’s a helluva lot easier than making adults laugh.

• “Masters Golf Tournament”, through Sunday in Augusta GA.

• “Road Map Day”, the highlight of “Reading a Road Map Week”, which promotes map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and survival skill for drivers. The motto for the week is, ‘Happiness is knowing how to read a road map’. (Wow, it’s that simple? Who reads the map or GPS during your family trips?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [20] FOX TV network debuts with 2 Sunday night programs: “Married … With Children” and “The Tracey Ullman Show”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [22] On Good Friday, more than 5,000 radio stations of all formats across the US & Canada simultaneously play “We Are the World”, the fundraising song for African famine relief recorded by 45 music acts in collaboration

2001 [06] Eminem sentenced to 2 years’ probation for carrying a concealed weapon outside a suburban Detroit MI nightclub

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1970 [37] 1st ‘Nerf Ball’ hits the market

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [07] ‘Loudest Burp’ on record, according to “Guinness Book of Records” (Paul Hunn lets one fly that registers 118.1 decibels, the equivalent of sitting in the front row at a rock concert)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Plan Your Epitaph Day
[Fri] Good Friday
[Fri] Ex-Spouse’s Day
[Fri] Walk to Work Day
[Fri] “Grindhouse” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] No Housework Day
[Sat] World Health Day
[Sun] Easter Sunday
[Sun] “The Sopranos” final episodes begin (HBO/Movie Network/Movie Central)
This Week Is … Testicular Cancer Awareness Week (ouch, did you just get a twinge?)
This Month Is … Amateur Radio Month (but not on this show!)

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘KNOW-YOUR-BUNNIES QUIZ’:
You give the clue; your contestant guesses the famous rabbit …
• He was one of the original Looney Tunes characters. [‘Bugs Bunny’.]
• He keeps going and going and going … [‘Energizer Bunny’.]
• His cereal is just for kids. [‘The Trix Rabbit’.]
• It’s the title character in the kids’ book that’s subtitled “How Toys Become Real“. [“The Velveteen Rabbit”.]
• He got framed in a 1988 movie that was set in ‘Toon Town’. [‘Roger Rabbit’]
• He ‘hippity hops’ wherever he goes. [‘Easter Bunny’ or ‘Peter Cottontail’.]
• He was the mad rabbit at the tea party in Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”. [‘The March Hare’.]
• Author Beatrix Potter made him famous in her children’s books. [“Peter Rabbit”.]
• In a kids’ song, he keeps “scooping up the field mice and boppin’ ‘em on the head”. [“Little Rabbit Foo-Foo”.]
• Since he dumped Jennifer Anniston, these seem to be actor Vince Vaughn’s favorite companions. [“Playboy” bunnies.]

WORLDWIDE EASTER QUIZ:
In what country would you be if …
• One of the original Easter foods was pretzels? [Italy.]
• Children traditionally carry a decorated stick known as a ‘palmpaas’ to find eggs. [The Netherlands.]
• Children throw eggs up in the air. The first one to drop one loses. [France]
• The traditional Easter meal includes leek soup & roasted spring lamb. [Ireland]
• Eggs are forbidden during Lent but afterward are eaten in maple syrup. [Québec, Canada]
• Easter is celebrated with the ‘Blessing Basket’ filled with colored eggs, bread, cake, salt, and white-colored sausages. [Poland]
• The “Royal Easter Show” each autumn features displays of the best produce & farm animals, and is highlighted by parades, rides & fireworks. [Sydney, Australia.]
• Easter lunch includes colored eggs & a cake shaped like a lamb. [Germany]
• Beautiful designs are made with beeswax on eggs in a process called ‘Pysanky’. [Ukraine.]
• An ‘Easter Egg Roll’ for children is held annually on Easter Monday. [Washington DC, USA]

BS RANDOM JOKE:
What do you call 10 rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman does THIS 5 times a day, but the average guy does it only 3 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Apologizes.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.


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