Friday, April 1, 2011        Edition: #4475
Happy “Bull Day”, We’re 18-Years-Old Today!

This week 68-year-old “Judge Judy” Sheindlin was rushed to an LA hospital and kept overnight to investigate ‘intestinal discomfort’, the emergency detected when she ‘started saying things that didn’t make any sense’ during a taping of her show (who’d notice?) . . . Actor John Stamos who’s regularly guesting on TV shows (“Glee”, “Law & Order: SVU”, etc) tells “Extra” he is now ready for his own show and has been ‘meeting with a lot of people’ (“Full House 2”?) . . . 37-year-old “30 Rock” actress Elizabeth Banks (‘Avery Jessup’) & her 8-year college sweetheart-hubby Max Handelman are new parents to baby son Felix via surrogate mom (or as she puts it ‘a baby cake baked in another woman’s ‘oven’) . . . Actor David Boreanaz has confidentially settled a lawsuit out-of-court with a woman who accused him of sexual harassment while she worked as an extra on his hit TV show “Bones” (funny, at the time his lawyer called the accusations ‘totally fabricated and absurd’) . . . And according to “In Touch” magazine, sorta actor Ashton Kutcher recently spent $4,000 at LA’s Surplus Value Center on survival gear for himself and his family, apparently because he’s obsessed with the idea of either an earthquake or other disaster (you mean bigger than “No Strings Attached”?).

• “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS) – Sunday Blake Shelton & Reba McEntire co-host the 3-hour 46th ACMs live from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Miranda Lambert leads nominations with 7; Zac Brown Band and Kenny Chesney have 5 apiece; The Band Perry and Taylor Swift have 4. Performers include Alabama w/Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Jason Aldean, Keith Urban, Toby Keith, Taylor Swift, and Zac Brown Band w/James Taylor. Sugarland headlines the first-ever “ACM Fan Jam” during and after the awards at the nearby Mandalay Bay Resort. Also appearing: Rihanna.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today OneRepublic (“Waking Up”).
• “Kids’ Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) – Saturday is the annual salute to show biz from kids’ perspective. Performers include Black Eyes Peas and Willow Smith. Presenters include Cory Monteith, Jason Segel, Josh Duhamel, Kourtney & Kim Kardashian, and Russell Brand.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Greenhornes (“Four Stars”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Royal Bangs (“Flux Outside”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today the “10th Anniversary Recap Special”.
• Lollapalooza (Santiago, Chile) – The 20th and first-ever international ‘Lolla’ takes place Saturday & Sunday, headlined by Jane’s Addiciton , Kanye West, The Killers, 30 Seconds To Mars, among others.
• NCAA Men’s Final Four Weekend (Houston) – In addition to semi-final basketball, the associated free “JamFest” features Kings of Leon on Saturday, Kenny Chesney on Sunday.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – In his first appearance since 1982, Elton John hosts and duets with Leon Russell.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today Blake Shelton promotes Sunday’s “ACM Awards”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Scissor Sisters (“Night Work”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Billy Ray Cyrus (“I’m American “).

• Britney Spears – She’s being sued for over $10 million by Brand Sense Partners, which helped broker her deal to launch a fragrance line with Elizabeth Arden. The licensing firm claims it’s owed a 35% commission on sales.
• Plain White T’s – Saturday the 2nd leg of North American dates for their “Wonders Of the Younger” tour kicks off in Houston TX.
• Sammy Hagar – His new book, “Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock”, is currently #1 on the “NY Times” ‘Hardcover Nonfiction Best Sellers’ list. Among its revelations: When he was in Van Halen, each band member had a tent beneath the stage … for groupies.
• Shania Twain – Today in Toronto, 50-year-old Ottawa doctor John Palumbo is due in court after being arrested for stalking her at last Sunday’s “Juno” music awards show. The obsessed fan is facing a charge of violating a previous court order to stay 500 yards away from her.
• Taylor Swift – Just as she wraps the overseas portion of her “Speak Now World Tour”, she’s surpassed the 20 million mark for album sales. 10 million have sold in the last 18 months alone.

• “Hop” ( PG Animated Comedy ): Russell Brand (Mr Katy Perry) voices the role of ‘EB’, the Easter Bunny’s teen son, who heads to Hollywood determined to become a drummer in a rock band. Voice cast also includes Elizabeth Perkins (“Weeds”), Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”), Hugh Laurie (“House”), Chelsea Handler (“Chelsea Lately”) and David Hasselhoff … as himself.
• “Insidious” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): In the newest non-“Saw” film from director James Wan & writer Leigh Whannell, a family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called ‘The Further’. Stars Patrick Wilson (“Morning Glory”), Rose Byrne (“Get Him To the Greek”), and kid actor Ty Simpkins (“Revolutionary Road”).
• “Source Code” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Jake Gyllenhaal plays a soldier who’s sent back in time in an experimental government program. He wakes up in the body of a commuter who witnesses a train bombing and has just 8 minutes to figure out who is responsible. Co-stars Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, comedian Russell Peters. Shot in Chicago and Montréal.
• “Super” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Rainn Wilson (“The Office”) plays an everyday guy who transforms himself into wannabe superhero ‘The Crimson Bolt’ after his wife leaves him for a suave drug-dealer. He’s joined in his war against crime by teen-sidekick ‘Libby’ (Ellen Page). Co-stars Kevin Bacon, Liv Tyler. Shot in 2009. Debuted at Toronto International Film Festival.

Last year on April Fools Day Australian pen maker Artline advertised a new pen in newspapers and online that supposedly remembers everything you write. That way, you can just scribble something down and then throw the paper away because your message is stored digitally in the pen. Not to be outdone, introduced the ‘twapler’, a stapler that automatically sends a message via Bluetooth or WiFi to a Twitter feed detailing exactly what you’re stapling at any given moment. (Don’t laugh, there are more useless gadgets out there!)

“The Changing Body”, to be published next month by Cambridge University Press, concludes that there’s a clear link between height and earnings. But which triggers which? The book cites an 18th century comparison between boys from London slums and boys at Sandhurst Royal Military Academy. It showed that over 90% of working-class boys were shorter than their upper-class peers. That might suggest that the wealthy eat better and thus grow taller. (Or do bigger folks get rich because they can push little people around to get their way?)
– “The Independent”

Hate that nagging beeping sound that screams out from your alarm clock? So did designer Johan Brengesjo. He decided to develop the ‘Silence’ alarm clock that wakes you up without sound. Instead, you wear a wireless rubber ring with an integrated vibration device that generates a tactile alarm. To snooze, simply shake your hand. However, there’s a catch … each time you shake your hand to snooze, more movement is required to stop the vibration, so eventually you’re awake enough to get up. If it hits the market, it’s likely to go for $100-to-$200.

• It’s estimated that 32% of us will have an April Fools prank pulled on us at work today.
– PA News
• Here are the numbers re: Rebecca Black, the virally-popular 13-year-old who released what may be the world’s most annoying pop song, “Friday”, which is about nothing other than looking forward to the weekend. You Tube views: 60 million. Paid downloads: circa 88,000. Estimated value: $50,000.
– “Teen Vogue”


1961 [50] Susan Boyle, Blackburn, Scotland, pop singer (“Wild Horses”, “I Dreamed A Dream”)/TV talent show contestant (“Britain’s Got Talent”)

1973 [38] Joe Francis, Laguna Beach CA, adult video producer (“Girls Gone Wild”)/ex-con/tax cheat (in 2009 the IRS seized over $100 million from his various bank accounts)

1984 [27] Hillary Scott, Nashville TN, country singer (Lady Antebellum-“Need You Now”, “I Run to You”)

Rock/blues singer Leon Russell (“The Union”) is 69; Country/folk singer Emmylou Harris (“Beneath Still Waters”) is 64; Classic rock drummer Dave Robinson (The Cars) is 62; Pop guitarist Greg Camp (Smash Mouth) is 44; TV actor Adam Rodriguez (“CSI: Miami”) is 36; Pop keyboardist Jesse Carmichael (Maroon 5) is 32; Pop singer Lee Dewyze (“American Idol”) is 25.

TV/movie actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) is 53; Movie actor Eddie Murphy (“Shrek”) is 50; TV actress Cobie Smulders (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 29; Pop singer Leona Lewis (“Bleeding Love”) is 26; Movie/TV actress Amanda Bynes (“Hairspray”) is 25.

• “Alcohol Free Weekend”, thanks to the National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence … who apparently won’t be going to any “Final Four” parties.
• “April Fool’s Day”. Many say the custom of playing practical jokes on this day originated with the reform of the calendar when “New Year’s Day” was moved from April 1 to January 1. Those who clung to the old “New Year’s Day” were scoffed at as ‘fools’ and sent fake party invitations and prank gifts. That tradition began in France around 1564, where an ‘April Fool’ is called a ‘poisson d’avril’ (April fish).
• “International Edible Book Festival” (today and/or any day through the 5th), the 11th annual event when edible books are exhibited, then tea or coffee is served … and the books are consumed. Books are made from all manner of foodstuffs – chocolate, beets, lettuce, bologna, toast, liver, etc. Places worldwide where you can eat some tasty tomes …
• “Hospital Admitting Clerks Day”, saluting those always smiling, always helpful frontline personnel at your local medical facility. (“Just wait over there until you hear your name called … about a month from now.”)
• “International Fun at Work Day”, the 15th annual espousing the value of fun and laughter in the workplace. This year’s theme: “Work Like a Dog!”, because dogs don’t make a distinction between work and play. Everything is fun to them, and every situation a new one.
• “One Cent Day”, celebrating the world’s most useless currency … the penny. It’s now said to cost twice as much to make one as it does to buy one.
• “St Stupid’s Day”, an annual celebration on April 1st in San Francisco CA since 1980, when a wacky parade is held. The occasion’s dim-witted activities include the ‘high four’ handshake (hand up, palm towards partner, fold thumb across palm, slap high four, say “Ouch!”).
• “Walk to Work Day”, observed annually on the first Friday of April. Whether or not it’s to work, the goal is to walk 30 minutes a day to ease stress and improve fitness.

• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, who was born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, “The Princess & The Pea”, “The Ugly Duckling”, “Thumbelina”, and “The Little Mermaid”.
• “International Pillow Fight Day”, when massive pillow fights are scheduled in cities around-the-world, from Amsterdam to Zurich. A listing of cities hosting events here …
• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!
• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion!”)
• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction & communication is estimated to affect 1-in-150 children worldwide.

• “Armenian Appreciation Day”, honoring the small country which most recently re-gained its independence in 1991. It’s history of invasion and genocide led to a diaspora in which Armenians fled and settled around-the-world. Check out the ‘Armenian Hall of Fame’ here …
• “World Party Day”, begun in 1996 as a global effort of synchronized human celebration to bring about improved social conditions. The basic premise is that the opposite of war is not passive action or peace but … party!

1993 [18] “The Bull Sheet” radio show prep is launched, first as a fax service, later as an email service, and eventually as a daily online update

1991 [20] In an “April Fool’s Day” prank, Elton John surprises Rod Stewart onstage in London …  dressed in drag

1976 [35] After Steve Jobs sells his VW and Steve Wozniak sells his programmable calculator, they pool the $1,350, create a computer circuit board in Jobs’ garage, and form Apple Computer

2001 [10] The Netherlands becomes the 1st country to legalize same-sex marriages (a year later to the day, it becomes the first country to legalize euthanasia)

2004 [07] Google introduces its ‘gmail’ product to the public (at the time, many think it’s an April Fools joke)

[Mon] NCAA Basketball Tournament Final (CBS)
[Mon] International Day for Mine Awareness
[Mon] Tater Day
[Mon] Vitamin C Day
[Mon]  World Rat Day
[Tues] Deep Dish Pizza Day
[Mon] One Day Without Shoes Day
This Week Is … Anonymous Giving Week
This Month Is … Home Improvement Month


• Take a hammer to his XBOX.
• Drop a cinder block on his XBOX.
• Drive your station wagon over his XBOX.
• Buy him a new XBOX, then smash his old XBOX with his new XBOX.
• Prepare his favorite meal. Over dinner tell him that no matter how hard things might seem right now, you will always be there for him. Then set fire to his XBOX.
– Thanks to Walter Carson

I’m working on the ultimate office automation … networked coffee.

If you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?

Today’s Question: The average workplace has 50 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Coffee mugs.

You don’t have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person next to you.

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