Monday, April 10, 2017        Edition: #5950

New Week–New Sheet!

★ Amber Heard made an unexpected and sudden exit from an awards gala Friday night because of a medical emergency.  She was scheduled to be honored at the unite4:humanity gala in Beverly Hills but left midway through. One source says Heard became seriously ill during the event, but it’s unclear if she went to the hospital.  Friends Cara Delevigne and iO stepped on stage to accept the award on her behalf.  (iO? Sounds like its Amber who ‘O’s’ her friends one!)
★Last week we found out that Sylvester Stallone would not be appearing in the next ‘Expendables’ film.  Then Arnold Schwarzenegger indicated that if Sly is out, so is he.  Now Arnie indicates that he is also not interested in reprising his role as Major Dutch Schaeffer in the upcoming ‘Predator’ reboot unless his part is rewritten.  Schwarzenegger was in the 1987 original but sat out the 4 sequels.  One role he IS interested in returning to?  Conan the Barbarian.
★Is Richard Simmons ready to surface?  His manager says that he may be ready to emerge from hiding. Simmons, who has not made a public appearance in more than 3 years, recently signed a merchandising and endorsement deal and his manager says that with the outpouring of love Simmons has experienced  lately, he may be willing to appear in public to promote the products, but adds that any decision ‘is yet to be determined.’ (#1: like yourself.  #2: like money….)
★Vin Diesel has commented for the first time on the reported rift between him and his ‘Fate of the Furious’ co-star Dwayne Johnson.  When asked about Johnson’s referring to some of his male co-stars as ‘candy-asses’ when it comes to filming stunts, Diesel said: “I don’t think the world really realizes how close we are, in a weird way. I think some things may be blown out of proportion. I don’t think that was his intention…In my house, he’s Uncle Dwayne.”  (Candy-ass? Well, Diesel DID admit last week to a fear of roller coasters…)

•Jimmy Kimmel Live (NBC/CTV): John Stamos, Bob Saget, Snakehips & Mo
•Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC/CTV): Adam Levine, Josh Gad, Maroon 5 ®
•The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (CBS/Global): Emma Roberts, Ken Jeong, Luke Bryan & Dierks Bentley ®
•Late Late Show With James Corden (CBS/CTV): Reese Witherspoon, Tony Goldwyn ®
•Live with Kelly (ABC/CTV): Vin Diesel, guest co-host Morris Chestnut
•Ellen DeGeneres (NBC/CTV): Justin Theroux, Erika Jayne


•Janet Jackson –  has reportedly split from her businessman husband Wissam Al Mana.  The two wed in 2012 and they welcomed their son Eissa, together on January 3rd, but insiders claim that their marriage is now over. One source says: ”Sadly, Janet and Wissam have decided that it wasn’t working and to go their separate ways. It is Jackson’s third marriage.
•Harry Styles – compares releasing new music to giving birth.  The One Direction heartthrob released his debut solo single ‘Sign of the Times’ on Friday and says his album will follow soon.  Regarding new music: ”It’s very much like giving birth…It was very exciting. It was nerve wracking.”  Wisely he also pointed out, “Without the pain, obviously.”
•The Weeknd – He has made his relationship with Selena Gomez ‘Instagram official.’  The couple started dating in January and now the ‘Can’t Feel My Face’ singer -has taken to social media to show how serious he is about Selena.  He posted a picture of her with her arm around him as she kissed his cheek.  No caption. The intimate picture comes not long after it was claimed that Selena has been given the seal of approval by The Weeknd’s mother and grandmother. (And what do they think of having a kid that they have to call ‘The Weeknd’?)
•Taylor Swift – her Beverly Hills home was just officially designated as an historic landmark, which means she’ll be getting a HUGE tax break, but it comes with one big disadvantage … she can’t alter a thing without jumping through hoops. She’ll need to get approval from the Beverly Hills Historic Preservation Committee if she wants to build a recording studio on the property … or pretty much anything else for that matter.
•Big Sean – Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan presented him with the key to the city last weekend, making Sean the youngest recipient of the hometown honor ever. The mayor cited Big Sean’s charitable foundation for inspiring and motivating Michigan natives as a reason for the honor.


•Tributes: The festivities kicked off with an all-star tribute to Chuck Berry, recognized as the first musician the Rock Hall ever inducted.  Following a video presentation, ELO’s Jeff Lynne took the stage minutes before his own band was inducted into the Rock Hall, honoring Berry with his own take on Roll Over Beethoven. Lenny Kravitz paid musical tribute to Prince.
•Pearl Jam – invited members of Rush and Journey to join them for a rousing version of Neil Young’s ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’.
•Snoop Dogg – inducted Tupac Shakur with touching remembrance for his former close friend.  Snoop remembered how Pac accompanied him on an unexpected parasailing trip with rap mogul Suge Knight, and outfitted him in a matching designer suit. He called Shakur the “greatest rapper alive” (does he know something we don’t?)
• Journey – Steve Perry reunited with the band for the first time in 12 years. While he didn’t perform, he joined the band onstage for a heartfelt speech thanking his fans and family.  He also had very classy and complimentary words for his former bandmates and for current Journey singer, Arnel Pineda.
•Yes – were inducted by Rush’s Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson.  ‘Over-the-top fan’ Lee joined the band for ‘Roundabout’, handling bass in place of Chris Squire, who died in 2015. It also marked the first time Yes performed with singer Jon Anderson since 2005.
•The ceremony will be aired April 29 on HBO

It is an accepted fact that some people are early birds and some like to stay up late and sleep in.  Now, scientists are saying that for some who are night-owls, a genetic mutation might be to blame.  The variant is a mutated form of what is called the ‘CRY1′ gene, known to play a role in the circadian clock. The mutation was found in a person with ‘delayed sleep phase’ and in several of his family members who also suffered from sleep problems. The mutation seems to slow the body’s internal biological clock, causing people to have a longer circadian cycle and making them stay awake later.  The research team also says there is hope for night-owls: many people with delayed sleep phase disorder are able to control their sleep cycles by sticking to strict schedules.
(That’s assuming they WANT to get up early…)
(I thought they fact that I stay up all night was strictly due to my crippling coffee addiction…)
(So I can blame the fact that I can’t get myself into work on time on my genetics?)

Some facts about southpaws:
-about 10% of the population is left-handed.
-lefties enter puberty about 4-5 months later than righties.
-lefties are more likely to become alcoholics
-4 of the last 7 U.S. presidents prior to Trump were left-handed
-so are Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and Prince William
-women who give birth at over 40 years of age are 128% more likely to have a left-handed child than a woman in her 20s.
-the word ‘left’ actually translates as ‘broken’ or ‘weak’ in Anglo-Saxon.
(Tell that to Chewbacca….also a lefty!)

So you have a Fitbit.  Or you have a step counter on your smartphone.  How many steps a day should you be aiming for? For a long time, we’ve been told that the magic number is 10,000.  But researchers in England say we should be aiming 1/3 higher than that.  They compared sedentary office workers to postal workers who spend a large part of their day walking, and found that we should all be aiming to walk 15,000 steps per day.  That’s about 3 hours of walking.  How do you get to 15,000 steps?  Park farther away from the door.  Take the stairs.  Go for a walk on your lunch break.
(Walk the dog.  Walk the neighbor’s dog.  Walk the neighborhood’s dogs….)

Finally, there’s a job out there where being lazy pays off. French scientists are seeking candidates to lie on their backs and do nothing for two whole months. Once they’re done, they’ll get paid $17,000.  The Institute for Space Medicine and Physiology is testing microgravity and recreating the weightlessness of the International Space Station.  Participants have to eat, bathe, and even go to the bathroom while lying down, for two whole months, while at least one shoulder is in contact with the bed. Half the participants take a cocktail of dietary supplements that hopefully will counteract the negative effects of weightlessness, and the other half do not. Participants note: Afterwards, there could be physical problems like muscle loss and low bone density. The first team of 12 men has already gone through the experiment, and got up recently for the first time in two months.
(And the dog will really, really need to go out…)
(Um, I’m thinking we could be dealing with some crumbs in the sheets after this)
(Now then,…how  will this look on my resume?)


1936 [81] John Madden Austin, MN,  Legendary NFL coach and commentator (Monday Night Football)

1980 [37] Bryce Soderberg, Victoria BC, rock bassist (Lifehouse-”Broken”, “Hanging By a Moment”)

1983 [34] Andrew Dost, Cass City MI, indie bassist-keyboardist (fun.-”Some Nights”, “We Are Young”)

1984 [33] Mandy Moore, Nashua NH, movie actress (“A Walk to Remember”)/pop singer (“Candy”)

1987 [30] Shay Mitchell, Mississauga ON, TV actress (‘Emily Fields’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since
1988 [29] Haley Joel Osment, Los Angeles, CA, child actor (“The Sixth Sense”, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”)

1990 [27] Alex Pettyfer, Stevenage UK, movie actor (“The Butler”, “Magic Mike”)

• “APC National Pie Championships”, today & tomorrow in Orlando FL. Amateur pie-makers, professional bakers, and commercial pie companies from both the US & Canada have been competing at the event since 1995.
• “Encourage a Young Writer Day”, because it’s an investment in our future. Some of the most famous authors began writing as children.
• “Golfers Day”, honoring everyone who walks a mile chasing the little white ball, on the 99th anniversary of the 1916 founding of the Professional Golfers’ Association (PGA).
• “Siblings Day”, celebrating brothers and sisters who are living, those who aren’t … and perhaps those who shouldn’t be.
• “SPCA Day”, honoring the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the organization that looks out for our furry little friends. It was chartered on this day in 1866. Also Farm Animals Day.  Hug a cow.

2009 [08] “Hannah Montana: The Movie” opens in theaters, starring Miley Cyrus (the last G-Rated thing she ever does)

1970 [47] Paul McCartney announces the breakup of The Beatles

2007 [10] Johnny Cash’s last residence, a 14,000-sq-ft house in Hendersonville TN, burns to the ground after being purchased after his death by Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees

2007 [10] Pink Floyd’s classic lineup appears for the first time since 1980 to perform a concert at Barbican Centre in London, a tribute to recently deceased ex-frontman Syd Barrett

1953 [64] 1st color 3-D movie premieres, the horror film “The House of Wax”, starring Vincent Price

2001 [16] Michigan engineer Kevin Olmstead wins $2.18 million on ABC-TV’s “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”, then largest quiz show prize of all-time

2005 [12] Golfer Tiger Woods becomes the 1st to win 4 Masters titles under age 30, by sinking a 15-foot birdie putt on the 1st hole of a sudden-death playoff vs Chris DiMarco

[Tues] Barbershop Quartet Day
[Tues] Pet Day
[Tues] Be Kind to Lawyers Day
This Week Is … Garden Week
This Month Is … Guitar Month


– “Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?”

-“I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use
this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.”

-“I used to come here all the time with my ex.”

-“I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.”

-“Could you excuse me?  My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice
on the answering machine every hour.”

-“I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years.  Used to be I wouldn’t
have given someone like you a second look.”

-“And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.”

-“I know you said you don’t eat anything with a face.  But a good
butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.”

-“It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just
won’t be as smart as I am.”

-“Dropping my pants just scared them.  But when my underwear hit the
ground… Man!  I never knew Jehovah’s Witnesses could run that fast.”

☎ What is the best advice your mom ever gave you?  The worst?

“Foolscap” describes a standardized size of what product in the U.K.?
A: gloves
B: Paper (CORRECT)
C: Socks
D: Airmail envelope


Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.

Question: Almost half of men say doing THIS makes them sleepy. What is it?
Answer: Getting a haircut.

Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.

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