April 11 2017

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Tuesday, April 11, 2017        Edition: #5951

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★Bradley Cooper is a dad.  They have kept it under wraps for about 2 weeks, but Bradley’s girlfriend Irina Shayk has given birth to their first child.  No word yet on whether it is a girl or a boy.  (Should all celebs keep such a low profile?)
-People
★Micheal Douglas believes he is a better husband since his cancer battle.  The 72-year-old actor was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2010 and says that since recovering from the illness he has been determined to spend more time with his wife Catherine Zeta Jones, 47, and their children, Dylan, 16, and Carys, 13.  The couple briefly split in 2014 but are now apparently happier than ever.
-Contactmusic.com
★The Gilmore girls themselves are just as conflicted about the revival’s ending as fans are.  Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel addressed the long-awaited ending of Netflix’s Gilmore Girls revival in front of TV academy members, and it seems that they had the same thought that a lot of viewers did.  “That’s not an ending, that’s a cliffhanger!” Graham said of the mythical four final words, which Rory (Bledel) used to tell her mom she was pregnant. “It took me a minute, but I eventually loved it…but it’s not an ending.” Bledel says that she wanted Rory to succeed, so it was also hard for her to digest.
-Eonline.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
•“The Voice ” (NBC, CTV) –A look back at the season so far; previously unseen footage of the coaches.
•Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, Global): Richard Gere, Kelly Oxford, the Shins
•Jimmy Fallon (NBC/CTV): Kiefer Sutherland, Priyanka Chopra, Rebel and a Basketcase (R)
•Stephen Colbert (CBS/Global): Bryan Cranston, Audra McDonald, Greer Barnes (R)
•Seth Meyers (NBC/CTV): Timothy Olyphant, Nelly Furtado, Darren King (R)
•James Corden (CBS/CTV): Samuel L. Jackson, January Jones, Sting (R)
•Conan (TBS/Comedy): Chelsea Handler, Scott Eastwood, the Regrettes
•The View (ABC/CTV): Kelly Rowland, Bill Nye, the Dance Theatre of Harlem
•Live with Kelly (ABC/CTV): David Duchovny, Joey McIntyre, guest co-host Morris Chestnut
•Ellen DeGeneres NBC/CTV): Chelsea Handler, Ludacris

BS MUSIC NOTES:
•Steve Perry -The former Journey singer says he’s been recording his new, long-awaited solo album for about a year, and plans to release the “emotional” and “cathartic” record later this year.  Perry describes the new album as an “emotional expression” about the loss of a loved one. It will be his first solo album since 1994.  He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with the rest of Journey on Friday night.
•Simple Minds – have announced that they will be releasing “Acoustic In Concert” on June 16th both digitally and in a DVD and CD package.  The new release was captured during the band’s special performance for BBC Radio 2’s “In Concert” series in November of 2016 at the Hackney Empire in London.
•Drake – has backed the idea of Chance the Rapper as mayor of Chicago.  Fans recently launched the  #ChanoForMayor campaign, attempting to recruit Chance the Rapper to run for the Mayor’s chair in 2019.  Drake said he would back the effort.
(Why not a rapper?  We’ve elected actors, we’ve elected wrestlers,  we’ve elected convicts, we’ve elected clowns …)
•Britney Spears – Her ‘Piece of Me’ Las Vegas residency at Planet Hollywood is coming to an end. The pop star’s publicist, Jeff Raymond, confirmed that the show, which takes place at the Axis, is ending on Dec. 31.  Her manager, however, indicates that they are considering extending the current contract beyond the end of the year, or moving the show to another venue in Vegas.
(So what you are saying is that her Vegas residency is probably NOT coming to an end?)
•Ed Sheeran – 90s R&B’ers TLC have been given writing credit on the Ed Sheeran song, “Shape of You,” because of it’s similarities to their track “No Scrubs.”  And speaking of TLC…
•TLC – Look for their latest album on June 30.  No title yet, but this is the first new album from Chilli and Tionne ‘T-Boz’ Watkins since 2002, the year Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes died.  The album was crowdfunded and the group will hit the road as part of the ‘I love the 90s-The Party Continues Tour’ this summer.
•Willie Nelson – He has released a new music video in honor of his late friend Merle Haggard, ‘He Won’t Ever Be Gone.’ The song is the final track from Nelson’s upcoming album, God’s Problem Child, which is slated to come out April 28.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play or wherever else you crazy kids find your movies these days:
•“Hidden Figures” (PG Drama) The story of a team of African-American women mathematicians who served a vital role in NASA during the early years of the US space program — and their efforts to overcome racism and sexism. Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monae, Kevin Costner, Kirsten Dunst, Jim Parsons.
•“Monster Trucks” (PG Animated Action-Comedy)  Tripp is a high school senior with a knack for building trucks who makes an incredible discovery — a gas-guzzling creature named Creech. To protect his mischievous new friend, Tripp hides Creech under the hood of his latest creation, turning it into a real-life super-powered Monster Truck. Lucas Till, Jane Levy, Thomas Lennon, Danny Glover, Amy Ryan, Rob Lowe.
•“Lion” (PG-13 Drama)  A five-year-old Indian boy gets lost on the streets of Calcutta, thousands of kilometers from home. He survives many challenges before being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, he sets out to find his lost family.  Dev Patel, Rooney Mara, David Wenham, Nicole Kidman.
Also being released: The Phantasm Collection (6-disc box), Silicon Valley: The Complete Third Season, VEEP: The Complete Fifth Season.

YOU JUST DON’T SEE ANY BABIES NAMED ‘HORACE’ ANYMORE:

If you think it’s been a while since you’ve heard somebody say, “meet our newborn baby, Dean,” you aren’t crazy. According to a new report from BabyCentre, it’s one of numerous traditional baby names that have yet to be registered by ANYONE so far in 2017.  Last year a couple made headlines when they named their son ‘Gary’ to stave off its inevitable extinction. BabyCentre reports that this year there are at least 36 formerly common names that no parents of newborns have selected for their bundle of joy.
(Can you imagine a bundle of joy in 2017 named “Clive”?)
(Are we really going to have to live in a world without an “Ernest”?)
(Your daughter may never be invited to “Maureen’s” birthday party)
Here are some other names that have not been bestowed upon a stork-offering so far this year:
-Beverly              -Wayne
-Carol                 -Derek
-Doris                 -Dennis
-Elaine                -Leonard
-Paula                 -Roy

-Aol.com

SMART FINANCIAL HABITS OF THE RICH:
Common habits of the wealthy, according to Tom Corley, author of ‘Rich Habits’ and ‘Change Your Habits Change Your Life’:
1. They know where their money is going.
Most  rich people audit their bank and credit card statements each month.

2. They review expenses annually.
The wealthy aren’t shy to shop around when an annual expense increases.

3.  They buy quality used cars or hang on to an old ride.
New cars lose value as soon as they are driven off the lot.
(Old ride?  Check.)

4.  They are not afraid of calculated risks.
Gain some knowledge in a specific area and put that knowledge to work by making an investment in that area.
(The lottery is NOT a calculated risk…)

5.  They’re wary of the tax man.
The rich use a number of strategies to help them grow their investments and minimize taxation.
(So did my Uncle Ralph….and we haven’t seen him for 5-7 years now.)

6.  They make a chunk of their money invisible.
They set up separate bank accounts and immediately move a portion of their monthly income into these accounts so the temptation to spend it is never there.
(If I had that kind of extra money each month…)

(And if I did all these things, I’d still be broke….but at least I’d have 6 things in common with rich folk….)
-Toronto Star

JUST DON’T LET THEM BITE:

A new discovery shows that bed bugs have been around pretty much as long as beds.  According to researchers at the University of Oregon, they have discovered the fossilized remains of an ancestor to today’s bedbugs dating back some 13,500 years. Until now, the oldest known association between bedbugs and humans was dated to 3500 years ago in Egypt.
(What did they call bedbugs before beds were invented?)
(I swear (old closed down local dive motel) has had them longer than that…)
-Medical Entomology

NEW BS WORDS:

• Wokeness: n. The state of being aware of and sensitive to social justice issues.

•Entropy tourism: n. Travel that features places of decay, neglect, or abandonment.
(Don’t we have an ‘entropy tourism’ route on the local bus schedule??)

•Endling n. An animal or other species that is the last of its kind. (I’m thinkin’ Mr. Snuffleupagus)

BS CHRONOMETER 04.11.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .

1974 [43] David Banner (Lavell William Crump),  Brookhaven, MS, rapper (“Get Like Me” with Chris Brown) , actor (“Black Snake Moan”) took his stage name from ‘The Incredible Hulk’ TV series.

1979 [38] Chris Gaylor, Stillwater OK, rock drummer (All-American Rejects-”Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)

1981 [36]  Alessandra Ambrosio, Rio Grande Do Sul, Brazil, Victoria’s Secret model

1987 [30] Joss Stone (Joscelyn Stoker), Dover UK, pop-soul singer (“You Had Me”, “Fell In Love With a Boy”)/TV actress (“The Tudors” 2009-10)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Barbershop Quartet Day”, commemorating 1938 date when the Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America was founded.

• “Pet Day”, sponsored by the Animal Miracle Network as a reason to ‘paws’ and consider the plight of the many animals in shelters awaiting a home.

• “World Parkinson’s Disease Day”, to boost awareness of the disorder and to spur new research and treatment innovations. The red tulip is the official flower of “World PD Day”.

•”Eight Track Tape Day”, a day to bring back the fond memories of the sixties and seventies.
The 8-track tape, originally called the Stereo 8, was created in 1964, and was made popular by the inclusion of 8-track players in Ford automobiles in 1965. 8-tracks were being phased out by   1982, but were still available through record clubs as late as 1988.
(…and she’s buy-ing…the stairway…..CLICK!!!!!!…..to hea-vennn)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2013 [04] Influential comedian/actor Jonathan Winters (inspiration to Billy Crystal, Jim Carrey, Jimmy Kimmel, Robin Williams, and Steve Martin) dies at age 87 in Montecito CA

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [15] Aretha Franklin and several Motown recording stars are honored with street names in Detroit MI’s new low-income housing project (“You can’t miss it, it’s at the corner of Aretha and Smokey …”)

2014 [02] Nirvana is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, alongside KISS, and Beatles’ manager Brian Epstein

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2004 [13] After 11 years as a pro, golfer Phil Mickelson wins his 1st major championship, The Masters

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1964 [53] The Beatles set a new record as 14 of their singles are listed at the same time on the ‘Billboard Hot 100  chart (from “Can’t Buy Me Love” at #1 to “Love Me Do” at #81)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day
[Wed] International Day of Human Space Flight
[Wed] Only Child Day
[Wed] Licorice Day

BULL’S BITS

BS EASTER QUIZ:
• In which country did the ‘Easter Bunny’ originate – England, Germany, or France? [The bunny as an Easter symbol seems to have its origins in Germany, where it was first mentioned in German writings in the 1500s. The first edible Easter Bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s.]
• What species of lily is the ‘Easter Lily’ — the White Trumpet Lily of Japan, the Canada Lily of the East, or the Humboldt’s Lily of the West? (The White Trumpet Lily of Japan.)
• How is the date for Easter Sunday calculated — the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the vernal equinox, the 2nd Sunday following the harvest moon, or the 3rd Sunday in April? [Easter is the 1st Sunday after the 1st Saturday after the 1st full moon after the equinox. The equinox is quite often March 21, but can also occur on March 20 or 22. Man, who figured this all out?]
• A traditional Easter dinner often includes ham. What does the ham represent — peace, prosperity, or power? [Schwean haben, a popular German expression for ‘prosperity’, literally means to ‘have a pig’.]

SIGNS THE EASTER BUNNY IS NUTS:

• “Bite me!” shaved into the fur on his back.
• Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny discovered in his crawl space.
• Neighbors describe him as ‘a quiet loner’.
• Just can’t stop washing his paws.
• He’s hippity-hopped up on Easter grass.
• Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.
• Hides all the eggs in his pants.
•He is a bunny who hides eggs!  What else do you want??

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Latest survey shows that 3-out-of-4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎“What’s the worst uniform you’ve ever had to wear?”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 21% of us do this only because we think it makes us look smarter. What?
Answer: Display books

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

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