Thursday, April 12, 2018 Edition: #6196
You Sound Like Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Johnny Manziel was all but signed on to appear on the new season of “Dancing With the Stars” until the show decided at the last minute he was “too controversial” to join the cast, according to reports. “DWTS” will officially announce the new cast tomorrow, and it will consist entirely of athletes. Tonya Harding, Adam Rippon, Jamie Anderson and Jennie Finch are among those rumored to be named.
-TheBlast
★ Seth Meyers is getting a refund from Uber for the car he never took to the hospital when his wife went into labor. On Sunday, Meyers’ wife gave birth to their second son in their apartment lobby. The pair had ordered an Uber to take them to the hospital but right before Meyers’ wife, Alexi, was about to get in the car, she delivered the baby. Meyers jokingly called out the ridesharing company on his show for charging him for the unridden Uber.
-TheBlast
★ T.J. Miller — the former star of HBO’s “Silicon Valley” — was arrested after allegedly calling in a fake bomb threat while traveling on a train headed to New York City. The incident in question happened on March 18. Authorities say they believe Miller was “motivated by a grudge against the subject female, called 911 to relay false information about a suspected bomb on the train, and continued to convey false information to investigators while the public safety response was ongoing.” Amtrak officials eventually stopped the train, detrained the passengers, and had bomb squad members search the train. No evidence of any explosive device or materials was detected.
-TheBlast
★ Sofia Vergara’s ex-fiancé Nick Loeb has compared their embryo battle to the fight to end slavery. Vergara has been locked in a bitter lawsuit with the businessman since 2015, when he filed documents to protect, and bring to term, two female embryos which they had created and planned to use with a surrogate during their relationship. Loeb has been blocked from bringing the embryos to term twice by Vergara.
(And probably blocked on Facebook, too!)
-ContactMusic
★ Khloé Kardashian is working on a true crime series about “Twisted Sisters”. The show will feature “tales about the bonds that sisters possess and how they can go so terribly wrong.” The world premiere series takes viewers inside the most outrageous and provocative crimes ever committed by the unlikeliest of pairs – sisters. Each hour-long episode investigates the how and why that a particular set of sisters saw their bond descend into darkness.
-Cosmopolitan
★ “Homeland” star Damian Lewis is set to play Toronto’s controversial former mayor Rob Ford in the upcoming movie “Run This Town”. The movie follows a reporter, played by Ben Platt, who attempts to expose a scandal involving a politician who doesn’t play by the rules. Ford, of course, was Toronto’s mayor from 2010 to 2014, and had a history of public intoxication and substance abuse, culminating in his being recorded smoking crack cocaine. He died in 2016.
-TheStar
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Shia LaBeouf, Sandra Oh, First Aid Kit
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jack White, Grace Jones, Tinashe featuring Offset
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Diane Sawyer, Joshua Jackson, John Prine featuring Sturgill Simpson & Brandi Carlile
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Aubrey Plaza, Ari Melber, Jason Reynolds, Gil Sharone
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Shaquille O’Neal, Victoria Beckham, Jamiroquai
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Ike Barinholtz, JC Currais
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Anna Faris, Snoop Dogg
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Tim Scott, Rep. Trey Gowdy, John Krasinski
• “The Talk” (CBS): Neil Patrick Harris, NeNe Leakes
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Amy Schumer, Aisha Tyler
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Helen Hunt, Andy Cohen
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CBC/TSN/NBCSN/SN): New Jersey vs. Tampa Bay, Toronto vs. Boston, Columbus vs. Washington, Colorado vs. Nashville, San Jose vs. Anaheim
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Luis Fonsi – The Youtube video for ‘Despacito’ with Daddy Yankee was removed by hackers 2 days after it hit 5 billion views. On Tuesday, users searching for it were directed to an image of a group wearing masks and pointing guns and then informed “This video is unavailable”. It became the most popular YouTube video of all time in August and hit 5 billion views on Sunday. It has since been restored to the website.
• Gwen Stefani – has announced her first-ever Las Vegas residency. As she announced on ‘Ellen’, tickets go on sale Friday for ‘Gwen Stefani-Just a Girl’ , which kicks off June 27 inside Zappos Theater at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino.
• Coachella – Even if you’re not actually going, you’ll be able to get your fix — from the comfort of your living room. For the eighth year in a row, YouTube will stream the first weekend of festivities.
• Burning Man – One of the founders of the Burning Man global summer cultural event remains hospitalized in critical condition after suffering a stroke. 70-year-old Larry Harvey’s prognosis is unknown. Organizers say Burning Man and Black Rock City 2018 will go on in Nevada.
• 5 Seconds of Summer – will be releasing their new album “Youngblood” on June 22, and will debut the title track today. Luke Hemmings says: “Growing up is what we had to do on Youngblood. Seven years as a band may seem like a long time, but we were teenagers when we started.”
• U2 – bankrolled the biggest concert stages ever for their 360 Tour in 2009, and now one of them has found a permanent new home. One of the three “claw” stages built for that tour has been purchased by the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium in Salt Lake City, and will be used for special events.
• Goo Goo Dolls – will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of their breakthrough album “Dizzy Up The Girl” with a North American tour in which they will perform the entire album along with select other songs from their career. The tour launches September 30th in Phoenix, AZ and will finishes on November 18th in Las Vegas.
• Luke Combs – To celebrate the one-year anniversary of his No. 1 debut album, “This One’s for You”, a deluxe edition comes out June 1. It will feature 17 tracks, including five new songs.
• Cole Swindell – says that when he first arrived in Nashville, it was to be a writer, rather than a singer, and his first job was selling merchandise at gigs for other artists. He says he’s glad he just wrote songs for his first three years before getting a recording deal because “I would have screwed it up if it happened any sooner than it did.”
UNRULY WEATHER:
A New York state police department seems to think the weather is under their jurisdiction….and it has placed winter under arrest. The Depew Police Department posted on their Facebook page that it has “arrested” the season, and any more snow that winter produces will “be held against it in court”. They also called for the weather-forecasting groundhog Punxsutawney Phil to turn himself in for predicting six more weeks of winter. They say that they will overlook winter’s “more recent transgressions” if it agrees to work with the police department. Like many areas this year, New York has experienced wintry weather this month, including snow and damaging winds.
(Why didn’t someone think of this sooner…like November?)
(Depew has 15,000 people. I’m guessing this is the first arrest they’ve made since Christmas!)
-AP
THE FUTURE OF THE PASTURE:
THIS is what the world is coming to. The next step in technology is the ‘Fitbit’ for cows. Actually it’s already here. Since 2016, some cows in America have been lucky enough to be accessorized with an electronic device called ‘IDA’, for “The Intelligent Dairy Farmer’s Assistant” – which tracks cows’ tiniest movements through their collars and then graphs and dissects the information for its owners. Those “real-time cattle analytics” are then used to assess diet and movement and predict concerning health issues, such as lameness or udder infections, and when they’re ready for insemination. The cows’ orange transmitters beam data from the pasture to a “base station” computer, which gathers and processes the sensor data locally, to avoid the problem of spotty rural internet. It can also track how changes to cows’ bedding, feed and environment can affect how much milk they’re producing or how much they’re lying around. How much? Prices start at about $3 a month per cow, plus a $79.99-per-cow start-up fee.
(And that’s your tech ‘roundup’ for today!)
(Do they wear them all the time, or just ’til the cows come home?)
(You can go right ahead and say that you’ve already seen cows wearing fitbits, but I’M not saying it!)
-Pilotonline
CAN’T WE JUST BE HAPPY WITH ALEXA?
OK, this is officially creeping me out. Researchers at MIT are reporting that they’ve come up with a device that is worn on the face and is be capable of “hearing” our thoughts, and acting on them. Electrodes in the device pick up neuromuscular signals in the jaw and face that are triggered by internal verbalizations — saying words ‘in your head’ — but are undetectable to the human eye. Yes, it reads your mind, and can carry out your wishes. What is the advantage of this? They say it allows users to “think” of what they want to do and it happens. How about being able to control your gadgets remotely, for instance? You could be lying in bed and changing channels or controlling media playback – without even touching your device.
(It reads your mind? Working name: ‘Wife’.)
(It’s going to be real embarrassing when the signals coming from my brain aren’t strong enough for the machine to pick up…)
(I don’t want any part of any device that can ‘hear’ what’s going on in MY head!)
-Uber Gizmo
DOWNSIDES TO EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR:
➠ Your mind gets foggy: Consuming too much sugar can impair a number of brain functions. To stay sharp, limit sugar!
➠ It increases your blood pressure: Weight gain is a very common consequence of excessive sugar consumption and brings with it the risk of high blood pressure. This can lead to a heart attack, stroke, kidney damage, and other serious diseases.
➠ Diabetes: Regular consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages increases the risk of metabolic syndrome and of developing type 2 diabetes. This is also true for other foods containing added sugar.
➠ More Cravings: If you limit your sugar intake, your craving for sweets will decrease over time. Sugar is addictive. The more you eat, the more your body wants.
➠ You spend money: Consuming a lot of sugar costs money. Why? Foods high in sugar attack the enamel on our teeth and cause decay. The result is more visits to the dentist and the doctor. (Plus the cost of feeding that crippling chocolate addiction…)
➠ Reduced energy: Have you noticed that sometimes want to lie down after a high-carb or high-sugar lunch? Sugar makes us sluggish and even appears to be linked with depression. (Sluggish after sugar? Tell that to my 4-year old…please!)
(I’m a little disappointed that there’s nothing here about “I’m already sweet enough”!)
(Alright! Another excuse to make my family order water at the restaurant!)
-Runtastic
BS CHRONOMETER 04.12.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [72] Ed O’Neill, Youngstown OH, TV actor (‘Jay Pritchett’ on “Modern Family” since 2009, “Married With Children” 1987-97)
1947 [71] David Letterman, Indianapolis IN, retired TV host (“Late Show with David Letterman” 1993-2015, “Late Night with David Letterman” 1982-93)/TV producer (Worldwide Pants)
1956 [62] Andy Garcia (Andrés Arturo García Menéndez), Havana, Cuba, movie actor (“Ocean’s Eleven” movies, “The Untouchables”)
1957 [61] Vince Gill, Norman OK, country singer (Grammy Awards-‘When Love Finds You’, ‘I Still Believe in You’, ‘When I Call Your Name’)/currently touring as a member of the Eagles/married to singer Amy Grant since 2000
1960 [58] Ron MacLean, Zweibrucken, Germany, TV sportscaster (“Coach’s Corner with Don Cherry” host since 1986, “Hockey Night in Canada” host 1986-present, except for those regrettable 2 years…)
1971 [47] Shannon Doherty, Memphis TN, actress (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-1994, “Charmed” 1998-2001)
1979 [39] Claire Danes, NYC, TV actress (“Homeland” since 2011)/movie actress (“The Family Stone”, “The Hours”)
1994 [24] Saoirse (SUR-SHA) Ronan, New York City NY, movie actress (“Lady Bird”, “The Lovely Bones”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day”. Almost anyone can make one, but almost everyone does it a bit differently. What’s your secret trick?
• “Only Child Day”, for those among us who are fortunate enough to have never experienced an atomic wedgie from a sibling.
• “Licorice Day”. The best kind? We say ‘zout’ (salt) from The Netherlands. A recent UK study says licorice is good for dental health. (It’s the anise that does it.)
NET: http://www.licoriceinternational.com
• “Walk on Your Wild Side Day”, a day to do something unpredictable. Go to work dressed like a gorilla, get a Master’s degree, something ‘they’ said you’d never do. (Or maybe actually work right up until quitting time?)
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Blame Someone Else Day
[Fri] Peach Cobbler Day
[Sat] Baby Massage Day
[Sat] Pecan Day
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [30] Sonny Bono (of Sonny & Cher) is elected mayor in his hometown of Palm Springs, California. He holds the position until 1992; in 1994 he is elected to Congress.
2013 [05] A Canadian study published in the journal “Science” finds that areas in the reward center of the brain become active when people hear a song for the first time.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1961 [57] The Soviet Union successfully launches the first man into space. Yuri Gagarin , a 27-year-old air force major, orbits the Earth in 1 hr 40 minutes.
1980 [38] Terry Fox begins his “Marathon of Hope” at St. John’s, Newfoundland
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2008 [10] With her latest single, ‘4 Minutes’, Madonna beats Elvis as the artist with the most all-time top 10 hits on “Billboard” charts (37) She now has 38.
2015 [03] Jordan Spieth wins The Masters golf tournament, tying Tiger Woods’ record-setting 72-hole score of 18 under par (1997)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ An average of 41 new species are discovered by scientists every day.
✓ Scientists can turn peanut butter into diamonds.
✓The average number of readers of any given published scientific paper is said to be 0.6.
✓ Scientists have developed a microparticle filled with oxygen that can be injected into the blood stream, so we can live without breathing.
✓ The World’s oldest known creature, a mollusc, was 507 years old until scientists killed it by mistake.
✓ “Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia” is the scientific term for brain freeze.
-FactSlides
BS STUPID QUESTIONS AT THE MUSEUM:
• Is this art, or can I sit on it?
• Can I buy this painting?
• Where is the Laser tag area?
• What time do the exhibits come alive?
• What’s Mona Lisa moaning about?
• Why did all the dinosaurs die in here?
• The IMAX is extra?
• Anything new here?
• How do you say: “It was already broken when I entered the room.” in North Korean?
-Twitter
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The difference between in-laws and outlaws is that outlaws are wanted.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What odd G-rated swear words have you or someone you know used instead of actually cussing? (“Gosh darn it!”; “Land sakes!”; “Like ducks!”; “Good night, nurse!”; “Well I’ll be jiggered!”; “Mother of fruit on a stick!”)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 12% of families report that they will not do this. What?
Answer: Eat leftovers
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is never owned. It is rented, and payment is due every day.
