April 15, 2015

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015           Edition: #5430

Sheet Happens!

★ Actor Tom Hanks’ actress-wife Rita Wilson underwent a double mastectomy last week after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The 58-year-old took temporary medical leave from the Broadway play “Fish In the Dark” in order to undergo the procedure. Wilson has revealed that doctors only found the disease after she asked for a 2nd opinion on results from her annual mammogram scan, which initially came back ‘all clear’. Scary!
– People.com
★ Fresh off their season premieres this week, HBO has announced that it’s renewing comedy shows “Veep” and “Silicon Valley”. “Veep”, which has garnered Julia Louis-Dreyfus 3 consecutive Emmys, is getting a 5th term in office. “Silicon Valley”, set among a group of misfits running a tech startup, is renewed for a 3rd season. The 2 half-hour comedies coupled with “Game of Thrones” and “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” have given HBO a stellar Sunday night lineup.
– Variety.com
★ Don’t have any plans for Friday night? Not to worry, Grace Helbig is here for you. The 29-year-old YouTube star has just launched a new TV series, “The Grace Helbig Show”, airing Friday nights on E!. The new project comes after years of making videos with an awkward-older-sister comedy style that has earned her over 2 million subscribers on YouTube. Her popularity has led to inclusion on numerous best-of lists, including “TIME’s” ‘Most Influential People On the Internet’ and “Vulture’s” ’50 Comedians You Should Know in 2015′.
– PostMedia

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The top 6 finalists perform American classics; mentor Scott Borchetta (Big Machine Records).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tame Impala (“Currents”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth (“See You Again”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors (“Medicine”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Caribou (“Our Love”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Ben Bridwell (Band of Horses); Iron & Wine (“Archive Series Volume 1”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Vance Joy (“Dream Your Life Away”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Ne-Yo (“Non-Fiction”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tyler, The Creator (“Wolf”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Kelly Clarkson (“Piece by Piece”). Rerun.

• The Beatles – 74-year-old Ringo Starr has admitted to HuffingtonPost.com that he was drunk for 20 years after the breakup of the Fab Four, the disbanding leaving him “absolutely lost”. Ringo is being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH this Saturday.
• Faith No More – Tonight their first North American tour since 2010 begins at PNE Forum in Vancouver BC. The trek is set to run through May 15th in Philadelphia PA before heading to Europe. FNM has set May 19th as the release date for their new album, “Sol Invictus”.
• Justin Bieber – A new viral video appears to show Coachella security guards putting him in a chokehold and battling with his entourage. Eyewitnesses claim he was kicked out for failing to produce an all-access pass for Drake’s headline performance on Sunday night.
• Kanye West – He & wife Kim flew into Israel this week to have their 22-month-old daughter North West baptized at St James Cathedral in the Armenian Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem. They continued their visit Tuesday with a visit to the Church Of the Holy Sepulcher.
• Led Zeppelin – Jimmy Page is facing a fresh fight with his neighbor, Robbie Williams, over renovation plans. It seemed Page had dissuaded the pop star from a massive basement extension to his $28-million west London mansion. But now Williams has scaled down his proposal and re-filed an application with planning officials.
• Madonna – Her onstage kiss planted on Drake at Coachella has become a bigger deal online than in reality (as she intended). While her (remaining) fans loved it, many have criticized her for behaving inappropriately. “The Telegraph” has dubbed the stunt “50 Shades of Granny”.
• Mariah Carey – Epic Records has confirmed she’s joining the label, returning her to the Sony Music family where her hit-making career began. It will release “Mariah Carey #1 to Infinity” on May 18th, a chronological collection of all 18 of her #1 singles, plus a new track. See if you think the album cover has been Photoshopped at all …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/k2gu4dp
• Nelly – He says he’s innocent after that weekend bust of his tour bus for illegal drugs and firearms in Tennessee. Claiming he was just one of 15-to-20 who had access to the bus, he promises to be ‘more conscientious about who he lets on’ in future. Uh, you buying this?
• The Who – Tonight “The Who Hits 50!” tour kicks off its Spring run in Tampa FL and takes in 20 stops before wrapping May 30th in Forest Hills NY. Opening act is Joan Jett & The Blackhearts. “This is the beginning of the long goodbye,” says Roger Daltrey. (Again.)

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Downton Abbey Effect’ – The increasing popularity of baby names derived from the names of characters on the popular TV series. (Anna, Daisy, Edith, Mary, Robert, Tom, Violet, etc.)
• ‘Grandlord’ – A retired person who rents out a room or property as an investment. A trend seems to be developing whereby seniors are buying up rentals in order to provide themselves with income.
• ‘Walking ATM’ – An illegal immigrant or migrant worker who is frequently robbed because they have no bank account and so must carry all their cash.

Let the frenzy begin! Today Canadian-based coffee & baked goods chain Tim Hortons is set to begin seducing customers with the ultimate guilty-pleasure food … Nutella. It’s rolling out Nutella as a spread option as well as 2 new baked goods featuring the iconic Italian condiment. The new menu items include a chocolate-hazelnut doughnut filled with Nutella, pastry pockets filled with Nutella, and even a Nutella spread to slather on bagels. The treats will be available through June 9th in Canada and May 8th-August 18th at US outlets. According to “CBC Marketplace”, 1 tablespoon of Nutella contains approximately 1 tablespoon of sugar. (Whoa! Think about that.)
– TheStar.com

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 70% of the time people can tell if you are faking laughter. Ha.
• 45% of weddings go over budget.
• 33% of women say the biggest problem in their lives is … men.
• 20% of us are thinking about quitting our jobs … at this moment.
• 16% of us buy something for our pets when we go through a restaurant drive-thru.
• 12% of surveyed kids under age 10 say they’d like to try eating a caterpillar. Erp.

Cannabis-laced doggie treats for sick pets are the latest products being marketed by the medical marijuana industry. Thanks to a special cookie available from California company Auntie Dolores, a marijuana dispensary specifically for dogs, owners are doping up their ailing animals with hemp-derived products similar to those known to help humans stave off symptoms of glaucoma and arthritis. The pet pot market is new, and experts say it’s a ‘legal grey area’ and there are few industry guidelines or scientific evidence of its efficacy. (And you thought your dog was eating you out of house and home before!)
NET: http://auntiedolores.com
– “Quartz”

• Those salads you’re ordering have nearly just as many calories as a Big Mac.
• One way to measure the cleanliness of a fast-food restaurant is to look up into the ice chute of the drink dispenser. You’ll be surprised how often you can find mold up there.
• Those pictures of fast-food you see in ads are airbrushed and touched up with fiberglass. It takes 2 hours just to set up 1 hamburger.
• In restaurant kitchens more people follow the ’10 Second Rule’ than you’d like to think.
• Even restaurants from the same chain can have vastly different standards and quality. It usually depends upon the management.
• If you look around the parking lot, dining area, or bathroom and see a lot of trash … what do think the kitchen looks like?
• In many places, just before close, all the coffee served is decaf whether you order it or not. That’s because nobody wants to clean two different coffee pots.
• Be careful with any fresh lemons you are served. Everybody touches them and nobody washes them. They just get cut up and doled out.
• Kids’ meals are often loaded with extra sugar to make them more appealing to kids. Even pizza crust is not exempt.
– List25.com

• Around the Mediterranean people prefer living in towns, while near the Arctic Circle it is in rural areas that people are happier.
– “The Economist”
• Younger Baby Boomers (born 1957-64) held an average of 11.7 jobs from age 18-to-48, according to new numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
– AARP.org


1959 [56] Emma Thompson, London UK, movie actress (“Harry Potter” films, 1992 Oscar-“Howard’s End”)/screenwriter (1995 Oscar-“Sense & Sensibility”)

1968 [47] Ed O’Brien, Oxford UK, rock guitarist (Radiohead-“Paranoid Android”, “There There”)

1979 [36] Luke Evans, Pontypool, Wales, movie actor (“The Hobbit” films, “Fast & Furious 6”)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Emma Watson in Disney’s live action “Beauty & The Beast”, due in 2017.

1980 [35] Patrick Carney, Akron OH, blues-rock drummer (The Black Keys-“Gotta Get Away”, “Gold On the Ceiling”)

1982 [33] Seth Rogen, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“The Interview”, “Knocked Up”)

1984 [31] De’Mar Hamilton, Chicago IL, rock drummer (Plain White T’s-“Rhythm of Love”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1990 [25] Emma Watson, Paris, France, movie actress (“Noah”, “Harry Potter” films)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Luke Evans in Disney’s live action “Beauty & The Best”, due in 2017.

1997 [18] Maisie Williams, Bristol UK, TV actress (‘Arya Stark’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)

• “Gripers’ Day”, a good day to have listeners call in with life’s little annoyances such as …
– When a search engine or Wikipedia asks you, “Did you mean …?” No, I meant what I typed!
– The 73 things it says on shampoo bottles before you can find the word ‘Shampoo’.
– When you open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
– The lingering scent of perfume or cologne after someone stinky leaves a room.
– Work colleagues with coffee breath. Ick.

• “IRS Income Tax Day” in the USA, the official deadline for filing an individual tax return for 2014 (or request for an extension).

• “Rubber Eraser Day”, honoring English chemist Joseph Priestley’s 1770 discovery that a small cube of latex could be used to correct boo-boos. He coined the word ‘eraser’.

• “Take a Wild Guess Day”, honoring hunches, guesses, speculation, and other forms of intuitive intelligence.

• “That Sucks Day”, the 11th annual celebrating failure, incompetence, dissatisfaction, mediocrity, apathy, chaos, tomfoolery, buffoonery, and jackassery.
NET: http://www.thatsucks.net

• “World Art Day”, an international celebration of the fine arts initiated by the International Association of Art (IAA) to promote awareness of creative activity worldwide.

1 YEAR AGO . . .
2014 [01] A total lunar eclipse occurs, producing a ‘Blood Moon’ (when the Earth casts its shadow on a Full Moon and eclipses it, the Moon may get a red glow)

1955 [60] The 1st McDonald’s franchise fast-food restaurant opens in Des Plaines, Illinois

2012 [03] Major League Baseball commemorates the 65th anniversary of Jackie Robinson becoming 1st to break baseball’s ‘color barrier’ with every ballplayer, coach, and manager wearing #42, Robinson’s number when he played for the Brooklyn Dodgers

[Thurs] High Five Day
[Thurs] Stress Awareness Day
[Thurs] Save the Elephant Day
[Fri] Ford Mustang Day
[Sat] Record Store Day
This Week Is … Crime Victims Rights Week
This Month Is … Kite Month


Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – This is a good week for romance in the workplace … which is troubling for you and everyone else at the monastery.
• Taurus –The inexorable power of destiny would render you powerless to stop the fateful events of next week. That is, if anything were ever to actually happen to you.
• Gemini – You’ve tried everything you can think of to get that special person to like you, which of course explains why you’re fleeing a nationwide manhunt.
• Cancer – You’ll try to play both sides against each other for personal gain, proving again why you are the worst chess player ever.
• Leo – It turns out there are actually plenty of problems you can’t solve with a smile, a sincere heartfelt talk, or a large, heavy piece of lumber.
• Virgo – You’ll reach your sexual peak tomorrow afternoon, surprising yourself almost as much as the woman who owns the dachshunds.
• Libra – There’s absolutely no reason you can’t become successful and happy in the next 6 months … which will make it all that much sadder when you don’t.
• Scorpio – Just when you finally get everything exactly the way you want it, you’ll decide you liked the world a lot better when it had people in it.
• Sagittarius – The doctors will be polite and professional when discussing your condition, but they’ll joke about it later in the lounge before going home to stare at the ceiling, unable to sleep from thinking about it.
• Capricorn – You’ve always believed you should go with your gut in important matters, which is why every major decision in your life has been accompanied by chili-cheese fries.
• Aquarius – It’s never too late to change your life for the better, except of course in your case, where it’s almost too late to finish your poisoned coffee.
• Pisces – Change is right around the corner for you. In fact it’s raising a 9-iron above its head and watching your shadow grow larger as you approach.
– Adapted from TheOnion.com

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

☎ What’s the most important component of a pizza … cheese, crust, toppings, or sauce?

Question: A new poll says the average family argues over stupid little things 300 times a year. The #2 topic is the TV being too loud; and THIS is #1.
Answer: Kids refusing to put down electronic gadgets.

Home is where the house is.

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