April 16, 2013

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013        Edition: #4964

Sheet Happens!

✳ After renewing his wedding vows over the weekend, 42-year-old actor Matt Damon has put his Miami, Florida home on the market for a whopping $20 million. The waterfront estate has 7 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, plus a home theater and wine cellar spread over about 13,000 square feet. The property has been home to Damon, wife Luciana Barroso, their daughters Isabella (6), Gia (4), and Stella (2), and Barroso’s daughter Alexia (14) from a previous marriage. (If you put 20% down, you can finance the place for only $75,000 a month!)
– DailyMail.co.uk
✳ A crazed ‘fan’ of 47-year-old actor Hugh Jackman has now been charged with 4th-degree stalking after being arrested in NYC on the weekend for approaching him while armed with … an electric razor. Reports say she professed her love for the Aussie star before throwing the razor at him and then fleeing the gym where he was working out. Jackman has revealed the wacky woman has been following him and his family for some time. (So you wanna be famous, huh?)
– WENN.com
✳ Women’s rights activists in Australia are calling for a boycott of “30 Rock” star Tracy Morgan’s stand-up tour after some 50 fans walked out of his performance at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Critics labeled the show ‘over-priced, unfunny, and misogynistic’. Women’s rights group Collective Shout vowed to campaign against his dates at the Regal Theatre in Perth last night and tonight. (He was similarly criticized for anti-gay comments onstage in 2011. Maybe this guy just isn’t funny?)
– HeraldSun.com.au
✳ While several media outlets recently filed petitions to be allowed to televise the upcoming Kim Kardashian-Kim Humphries divorce trial, for once Kim does NOT want to be on TV. Seems odd for someone that has every move of her daily life documented for reality TV. Legal maneuvers were made last week on both sides of the issue of televising the trial. Word has it Humphries is all for letting cameras roll. The trial scheduled to begin May 6th. (It’ll be over in about 7 years.)
– RadarOnline.com
✳ And Dennis Rodman says he’s returning to North Korea to ‘have some fun’ hanging with his buddy Kim Jong Un. The NBA legend, “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant, and all-around crazy guy says his trip is scheduled for August 1st. The former Chicago Bulls player weirdly went to North Korea in February as part of an upcoming episode of the new HBO series “Vice”. (Maybe he’s CIA? Snort … not likely.)
– “Miami Herald”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Of Monsters & Men (“My Head Is an Animal”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The Band Perry, Kerli, and Selena Gomez perform; the couples face elimination.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Selena Gomez (“Come & Get It”).
• “In Performance At the White House: Memphis Soul” (PBS) – Barack & Michelle Obama host this music special taped in the East Room. Performers include Alabama Shakes, Ben Harper,  Cyndi Lauper, Justin Timberlake, Mavis Staples, Queen Latifah, Sam Moore, Steve Cropper.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – New Order (“Lost Sirens”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tomahawk (“Oddfellows”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Little Green Cars (“Absolute Zero”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Richard Thompson (“Electric”). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Paul Anka (memoir “My Way”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Ashley Monroe (“Like a Rose”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Brit singer Olly Murs (“Right Place Right Time”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The battle rounds continue as celebrity advisers help the coaches decide which artists to keep.
• We’re All 4 the Hall (Nashville TN) – Some old-school rebels like Willie Nelson and Hank Williams Jr join Keith Urban and Vince Gill for their 4th annual Country Music Hall of Fame fundraising concert at Bridgestone Arena. This year’s theme is “Rebels & Renegades”.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/c498g2s

• Allman Bros – The filmmakers behind the upcoming “CBGB” movie have announced that their next project will be a biopic on Gregg Allman, based on his best-selling memoir “My Cross to Bear”. Allman will serve as an executive producer on the film.
• David Bowie – Today his “Aladdin Sane” album gets a 40th anniversary reissue treatment. The album has been remastered, but doesn’t come with any exclusive extras.
• Fall Out Boy – Their 5th studio album “Save Rock & Roll” is out today, its release date pushed up from May. Guest artists on the project include Courtney Love and Elton John.
• Justin Bieber – Here’s what he wrote in the guest book after visiting the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam, the Netherlands: “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” Museum curators have now responded that his comments were ‘innocent’ and ‘he didn’t mean bad’, noting it’s nice he made the effort to visit.
• Michael Jackson – In her first-ever interview his 15-year-old daughter Paris has told “Event” magazine: “I have lots of memories of my father. He was incredible. We all loved him to death.”
• Rolling Stones – 65-year-old Ronnie Wood admits he can barely see the first couple of rows of the audience when he’s playing a concert as he doesn’t wear his eyeglasses onstage. He says he sometimes finds himself waving to imaginary people.
• Steve Earle – Today he releases his new album “The Low Highway”, the anticipated follow-up to his 2011 Grammy Award-nominated album “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive”.
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Their 4th full-length album, “Mosquito”, is out today. Frontwoman Karen O says, “So much feeling went into this record, it was the rope ladder thrown down into the ditch for us to climb up and dust ourselves off.” (Huh?!?!?)

• “Django Unchained” ( R-Rated Western Adventure ): Quentin Tarantino’s pre-Civil War drama set in the deep South stars Jamie Foxx as a slave who’s freed by a German-born bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz) in order to help him track down the murderous ‘Brittle brothers’. Co-stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington, Samuel L Jackson, Don Johnson.
• Also released today: “A Whisper To a Roar” (Documentary); “Counting Cars: Season 1” (Reality TV); “Everybody Loves Raymond: The Complete 9th Season” (TV); and “Gilmore Girls: The Complete Series Collection” (Vintage TV).

Regular participation in clubs and other social activities increases happiness as much as doubling your income or getting a college degree, according to researchers at Harvard and Arizona State universities. Evidence indicates that being connected to other people has a powerful influence not only on happiness but also on how healthy you feel. (Plus it provides you with someone to hit up for a loan.)
– “Journal of Economic Psychology”

Want to turn her on? Head to your local home improvement store. Surveys have shown that the way to a woman’s heart is through her honey-do list. In fact, many women prefer their men be good at do-it-yourself projects rather than skilled between the sheets. (Yep, there’s no bigger turn-on than a guy unstopping a toilet.)
– “Men’s Health”

Experts say the most important criteria when choosing a pair of chopsticks is whether they fit your hand and accentuate your plates. A few more tips …
• An appropriate length for chopsticks is 1.5 times longer than the line connecting the tip of your thumb to your index finger when held at a right angle.
• As for thickness, it depends on how comfortable they are to hold.
• Women are advised to choose slightly thinner chopsticks to make their hands look beautiful.
• Triangular chopsticks are easier to hold, even for men with big fingers.
– Condensed from “Globe & Mail”

The world’s heaviest metal band, robot musicians Compressorhead, are looking to take the music scene by storm. Made from recycled scrap, the robotic band plays hits by the likes of Led Zeppelin and Motorhead. They recently played a gig at the Frankfurt Music Fair in Germany, a trade event for the music industry. (Any budding rock managers wishing to manage the group can rest assured they are unlikely to trash hotel rooms or bicker about royalties.)

One of the biggest peeves about traveling? Tipping. Travelers are saying tipping has gotten out of hand. Some are irked that they feel pressured to tip bellmen, doormen, housekeepers, and just about anyone else on staff. There are even tip jars at counter-service outlets, such as Starbucks stores. (In many countries, ie: France, a standard tip is included on the bill as a ‘service charge’. Better system?)
– “USA Today”

A global campaign is underway to protect the future of the traditional tungsten lightbulb in theater productions. Manufacturers are being lobbied to continue production of incandescent bulbs even though they’ll no longer be available to domestic users. Theater lighting designers claim traditional bulbs are vital for stage productions because of their warm and natural light, and the fact they can be faded up and down. (And what will cartoonists draw over their characters’ heads to indicate an idea?)
– TheStageCo.uk

Employees who install new web browsers on their computers perform better on average than those who use the default pre-installed browser that came with their machine.
– “The Economist”


1952 [61] Bill Belichick, Nashville TN, NFL head coach (New England Patriots since 2000, Cleveland Browns 1991-95)/3X NFL Coach Of the Year/5 career Super Bowl championships

1964 [49] David Pirner, Green Bay WI, alt-rock singer-guitarist (Soul Asylum-“Misery”, “Runaway Train”)

1965 [48] Jon Cryer, NYC, TV actor (‘Alan Harper’ on “Two-and-a-Half Men” since 2003)

1965 [48] Martin Lawrence, Frankfurt-am-Maim, Germany, movie actor (“Big Momma’s House” films”, “Bad Boys” films)

• “Eggs Benedict Day”, a day to enjoy heart-attack-on-a-plate – poached eggs topped with back bacon served on toasted English muffins and slathered in Hollandaise sauce … made of even more egg-yolks and butter.

• “Healthcare Decisions Day”, the 6th annual designed to inspire and educate the public and providers about the importance of advance care planning.
NET: http://www.nhdd.org

• “Library Workers Day”, honoring all the experts in the Dewey Decimal System who stock the shelves with books that educate and fascinate. First observed in 1958 as part of “National Library Week”.

• “One Day Without Shoes”, an annual event to promote awareness of the millions of children who are shoeless. Some 250,000 are expected to support the cause by going barefoot today.
NET: http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com

• “Stress Awareness Day”, focusing on one of the world’s leading health problems. A highlight of “Stress Awareness Month”. Stressed out? Research shows housecleaning for 20 minutes can help.

1993 [20] In DC Comics’ “Superman Resurrected”, the ‘Man of Steel’ returns as 4 different supermen … which one is real?

2003 [10] After suffering a stroke in his Manhattan apartment, Luther Vandross is admitted to hospital (never really recovers and dies of heart attack in 2005)

2008 [05] Barbra Streisand donates $5 million to the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for a women’s heart education & research program

1943 [70] Hallucinogenic effects of LSD are discovered as Swiss chemist Albert Hoffman consumes the synthetic drug he had created in 1938 (wow man, he sees God)

2007 [06] Deadliest mass shooting in US history as 32 students & teachers at Virginia Tech University are gunned down by Seung Hui Cho, who then shoots himself

[Wed] Bat Appreciation Day
[Wed] Haiku Poetry Day
[Wed] Ford Mustang Day
[Thurs] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2013 Induction (LA)
[Thurs] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Fri] “In the House”, “The Lords of Salem”, “Oblivion” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Paperboard Packaging Week
This Month Is … Defeat Diabetes Month


✗ Using JumboTron to give the entire stadium the finger.
✗ Secretly switching the Gatorade with the urine samples.
✗ Playing shortstop in a delightful cocktail dress.
✗ Having a batting average lower than your blood alcohol level.
✗ Hitting for the cycle with the umpire’s wife.
✗ Doing a slow, seductive striptease during the anthem.
✗ Wearing your cup outside your pants.

Nothing wrong with me that reincarnation won’t cure.

Pics of country stars without makeup. Creepy!
NET: http://tinyurl.com/coe8m3s

☎ What’s your biggest neighbor pet peeve? According to a recent survey in “Redbook”, the biggest dispute among neighbors is over parking, ahead of loud music, barking dogs, and garbage. Just 1% of those polled say they are disturbed by neighbors’ loud lovemaking.

• Whyzit the supply of government always exceeds the demand?
• Whyzit boxing champs need bodyguards?
• Whyzit there never seems to be time to do it right but there’s always time to do it over?
• Whyzit they don’t write backwards on the back of road signs so you can check them in your rearview mirror if you missed them?
• Whyzit called a pair of pants? There’s only 1!

How many varieties of rice are there?
a. 15
b. 150
c. 15,000 [CORRECT. There are at least that many different kinds of rice, the chief food for half the world’s people.]
– “Fascinating Facts”

Question: It used to take only 20 hours to get through THIS; nowadays almost 45 hours.
Answer: The Panama Canal.

The harder you work the luckier you get.

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