Thursday, April 17, 2014          Edition: #5204

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

★ “OUT” magazine has announced its ‘Power 50 List’ for 2014, ranking the most influential folks from the LBGT community. Some of the more familiar names …
#42. Grammy-winning singer Frank Ocean, who came out as bisexual last year.
#29. Oscar-nominated actress Ellen Page, who came out on Valentines Day.
#12. Fashion designer Michael Kors.
#10. “Good Morning America” co-host Robin Roberts.
#9. Prospective NFL player Michael Sam.
#3. MSNBC personality Rachel Maddow.
#1. TV personality/comedian Ellen DeGeneres, whose Oscar selfie burned up Twitter.
★ It looks as if Broadway is about to get another jukebox musical. “Rock Of Ages” producer Matthew Weaver has acquired the stage rights to “Soul Train”, the Don Cornelius TV series that was a prominent forum for R&B, pop, and hip-hop artists for 35 years, from 1971-2006. Weaver says he’s putting together a top notch team of artists to ensure the stage production is ‘the hippest trip on Broadway’. Former basketball star Magic Johnson is behind the production, as CEO of Soul Train Holdings. No timeline or attached artists have been announced as yet.
★ The filmmaking team behind “Fast & Furious 7” has asked Paul Walker’s brothers to complete some of his final scenes in the upcoming sequel. At the time of his death last November, Walker had completed all of his dramatic scenes and most of his action sequences for the film. It had been reported last month that his final appearances would be CGI-ed using body doubles and voice effects. But now director James Wan has opted to utilize his brothers, Caleb and Cody Walker, to complete some of the remaining gaps in the production. “Fast & Furious 7” opens April 10, 2015.

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – A finalist is eliminated.
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – R&B supergroup TGT (Tyrese, Ginuwine, and Tank- “Three Kings”). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Broken Bells (“After the Disco”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Jason Derulo (“Talk Dirty”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sirah (“Broken Complex”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Karmin (“Pulses”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Liv Warfield (“The Unexpected”). Rerun.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Roch Voisine (“Duophonique”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Veteran singers Billy Ray Cyrus, Dionne Warwick. Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Arcade Fire (“Reflektor”). Rerun.

• AC/DC – Frontman Brian Johnson has silenced rumors of retirement by saying the band still plans to hit the studio in Vancouver BC next month to record new material. An interview on 3AW radio in Melbourne VIC launched speculation they would end their long-running career as a band member is terminally ill. Johnson admits one of them is suffering a ‘debilitating illness’. Online rumors suggest rhythm guitarist Malcolm Young (61) is unable to continue playing.
• Justin Bieber – His next court hearing on the assault charge for allegedly hitting a limousine driver last December in Toronto ON has been set for May 12th. Bieber did not appear in court himself at the routine pre-trial hearing this week, where the new date was decided. The date of the actual trial has yet to be set.
• Miley Cyrus – She cancelled her Tuesday show in Kansas City MO after being hospitalized for a ‘severe allergic reaction to antibiotics’. A statement from the show’s venue says she’s been placed on medical rest on doctors’ orders. She’s currently midway through her “Bangerz” tour, playing 60 shows across North America and Europe over 5 months.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “American Ultra” – This action-comedy began filming in New Orleans LA this week, starring Jesse Eisenberg (“The Social Network”) as an unmotivated stoner whose small-town life with his girlfriend, played by Kristen Stewart, is suddenly turned upside down when his secret past as a sleeper agent comes back to haunt him. “American Ultra” is slated for release in 2015.
• “Goonies” reboot – The 1986 film’s classic line, “Goonies never say die!”, seems very apt as director Richard Donner has revealed a long-anticipated sequel is finally in the works. And he says he plans to bring back the original cast for the follow-up. If so, that would include a much older Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, Martha Plimpton, and Sean Astin. In cameos, one hopes?
• “Magic Mike XXL” – Channing Tatum is set to shoot a sequel to the 2012 hit that’s scheduled for release July 3, 2015. Tatum, who has co-written the “XXL” script, says the follow-up will be a fun road-trip flick. Tatum is expecting that co-stars Adam Rodriguez, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, and Matthew McConaughey will all return for the redo.
• “The Nest” – Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, who last co-starred in 2008’s “Baby Mama”, are set to return to the bigscreen as a pair of 30-something sisters hosting one last bash at Mom & Dad’s house before it is sold. The screenplay is by veteran “Saturday Night Live” writer Paula Pell, who also worked on Fey’s TV show “30 Rock”.

• Easter is celebrated differently in various countries. In Guatemala, for instance, people make carpets of sawdust and flowers that measure up to a mile (1.6 km) in length. The carpets have incredible details and take weeks to make. Then, locals walk over them on their way to church.
• In Sweden and parts of Finland, a mini-Halloween takes place on the Thursday (today) before Easter. Little girls dress up in rags and old clothes, too-big skirts, and shawls as the ‘Easter Witch’ and go door-to-door with a copper kettle looking for treats.
• In Bermuda, Good Friday is the day to fly kites. Legend has it a local teacher in need of a simple way to demonstrate the ‘Ascension’ used a kite to imprint the concept on the minds of his pupils. As a result, colorful multi-sided kites will dot the skies all over the island tomorrow.
– /

The struggle to fix problems caused by the so-called ‘Heartbleed’ bug could slow your browsing speed, tech analysts warn. The sheer number of sites refreshing their credentials may trigger the delays. The updates could force browsers to keep downloading and checking long lists of safe sites. About 500,000 websites are thought to have been vulnerable to the bug which, if exploited, would allow attackers to steal data from web servers. The updates will help stop attacks using stolen security credentials. Many larger sites, including Google, Facebook, DropBox, and OKCupid, have already patched their OpenSSL security software that was vulnerable to ‘Heartbleed’. (Unlike most online crises, this one is simply the result of a mistake.)
– Excerpted from “Washington Post”

Nutritionists recommend …
5. Frozen Pre-Prepared Lunches.
4. Almonds.
3. Green Iced Tea.
2. Baby Carrots.
1. Plain Greek Yogurt.

Glow-in-the-dark road markings have been unveiled on a 500-m (0.3-mi) stretch of highway  100 km (60 mi) southeast of Amsterdam in The Netherlands. The paint contains a ‘photo-luminising’ powder that charges up in daytime and then slowly releases a green glow at night, doing away with the need for streetlights. Once the paint has absorbed daylight it can glow for up to 8 hours in the dark. Interactive artist Daan Roosegaarde teamed up with Dutch civil engineering firm Heijmans to work on the idea. The technology is being tested with an official launch due later this month. It’s the first time ‘glowing lines’ technology has been piloted. The team also hopes to develop giant weather symbols that will appear on the road. (Which will no doubt be followed by advertising.)
– BBC Technology

What’s the rule for sideburns? Elvis wore his long and full. Actor Peter Fonda’s mutton chops crept down his chin. Then there was an unfortunate period in the ‘80s where they all but disappeared. But the standard for sideburns today falls somewhere in the middle. A few guidelines …
✓ The thickness of your sideburns should be consistent with the rest of your hair. If it’s on the longer side, keep your ‘burns a bit fuller. If your hair is short, it should be short everywhere.
✓ The length of sideburns can balance the other lines on your face. As a general rule, they shouldn’t extend much further than the midpoint of your ear.
✓ Longer sideburns (to the bottom of the ear) can help offset a long face and also help a round face look less so. Shorter sideburns (mid-ear) look good if you have a weak chin or oval face.
✓ Keep the bottom line of the sideburn parallel with your jaw line.
– @MensHealthStyle

A new ranking from, based on salary, benefits, hazards, stability, etc  …
1. Mathematician / $101,360.
2. Tenured University Professor / $68,970.
3. Statistician /$75,560.
4. Actuary / $93,680.
5. Audiologist / $69,720.
196. Broadcaster / $55,380.
197. Taxi Driver / $22,820.
198. Enlisted Military Personnel / $28,840.
199. Newspaper Reporter / $37,090.
200. Lumberjack/ $24,340.
– “Wall Street Journal”

In 2008 scientists discovered a new species of bacteria that lives in hairspray.


1961 [53] Boomer (Norman) Esiason, West Islip NY, sports commentator (“The NFL Today on CBS” since 2002, “ABC Monday Night Football 1998-99)/former NFL QB (Cincinnati Bengals)

1972 [42] Jennifer Garner, Houston TX, movie actress (“Draft Day”, “Dallas Buyers Club”)/former TV actress (“Alias” 2001-06)/Mrs Ben Affleck since 2005

1974 [40] Victoria Beckham (Adams), Harlow UK, fashion maven (dVb)/former pop singer (Spice Girls-“Wannabe”)/wed to English soccer star David Beckham since 1999

1985 [29] Rooney Mara, Bedford NY, movie actress (“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”, “The Social Network”)  COMING UP: “Trash”, opening October 31st.

• “Bat Appreciation Day”, a day to bring positive awareness about bats before possible negative interactions with people occur after their Winter-long hibernation.

• “Blah Blah Blah Day”, a day to do all the things that people have been nagging you to do. This might include quitting a habit, losing weight, working on home projects, blah blah blah …

• “Cheese Ball Day”, saluting the hors d’oeuvre made with cream cheese, seasonings, and chopped nuts.

• “Haiku Poetry Day”, a celebration of the genre of poetry whose origins date back a millennium in Japan; and of English-language haiku, which has now been written for more than a century. To create one of these short poems, stick to a syllable pattern of 5-7-5.

• “High Five Day”, an annual observance on the 3rd Thursday of April when we’re encouraged to freely exchange high fives without inhibition between all genders, social classes, and heights.

• “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day”, a day to salute with a laugh the prying nature of those who continually insist on peeking-a-boo to find out what’s cooking in the neighborhood.

• “Support Teen Literature Day”, a part of “Library Week”. Between “The Hunger Games” and “Divergent”, it seems we’ve all been doing our part.

• “World Hemophilia Day”, a day of awareness of the genetic disorder that impairs the body’s ability to control bleeding through clotting or coagulation.

1998 [16] Paul McCartney’s wife Linda dies of breast cancer at age 56 in Santa Barbara CA

2008 [06] Danny Federici, long-time musician with Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band, dies of melanoma at age 58 (Springsteen’s “Working on a Dream” album is dedicated to him)

1964 [50] Now collectible car, Ford Mustang, officially debuts at the World’s Fair in NYC (base price: $2,368)

1979 [35] ‘Smallest Crowd’ in Major League Baseball history as just 653 fans show up for an Oakland A’s baseball game (that’s not a crowd, it’s an intimate gathering)

[Fri] “Bears”; “A Haunted House 2”; “Transcendence” open in movie theaters
[Fri] International Amateur Radio Day
[Fri] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Sat] Record Store Day
[Sun] Easter Sunday (Christian)
[Mon] Boston Marathon
This Week Is … Library Forgiveness Week
This Month Is … Welding Month


• The hippety-hoppity ‘Bunny Trail’ has now been replaced by an 8-lane expressway.
• Coughing up child support for his 37,000 offspring.
• Constant hopping raises hell with the inner ear.
• Nauseating diet that’s required to create multi-colored eggs.
• Having to follow dumb kids around, smacking ‘em on the head and yelling, “Not there, stupid!”
• Having your stomach pumped after eating 17 lbs of plastic Easter grass.
• Having to keep rubbing yourself for good luck.

☎ Would you switch to standing at your desk all day instead of sitting? (A number of studies suggest that constantly sitting at work is bad for you. Advocates say more standing would benefit not only health, but also workers’ energy and creativity.)

What’s the best method of emptying an eggshell when preparing it for Easter decoration?
a. Sucking.
b. Blowing. [CORRECT. Sucking on an egg can make you sick. Prick a hole in each end that’s deep enough to break the yolk, then blow from the small end to the large.]
c. Syringe.
– “Redbook Magazine”

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Question: Guitar was picked as #1 in a new poll on the ‘sexiest musical instrument to play’; and THIS was #2.
Answer: Saxophone.

You can carry a rabbit’s foot for luck; just remember … it didn’t work for the rabbit.

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