Monday, April 18, 2011        Edition: #4486
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• Actor Nicolas Cage was arrested early Saturday morning in New Orleans LA, where he’s filming his latest movie “Medallion”. He was charged with domestic abuse, battery, and disturbing the peace, then released on bail Saturday afternoon. Reports say an inebriated Cage was loudly arguing with his wife Alice in the street. Once cops arrived, Cage started yelling, “Why don’t you just arrest me?” So they did. (Brilliant!)
• Kaj Korvela of the Bipolar Affective Disorders Association says she’s OK with actor Charlie Sheen’s spontaneous decision to lead a fund-raising walk in Toronto and donate the proceeds to the Calgary-based organization. She won’t comment on Sheen or ‘whatever he’s dealing with’ but is thankful for the awareness his impulsive act created. Toronto was Sheen’s latest stop on his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour”. (The ‘fund-raiser’ only made a couple hundred bucks.)
• 31-year-old Canadian actress Evangeline Lilly, best known for playing ‘Kate’ in the popular TV series “Lost”, is reportedly pregnant with her first child. She’s currently dating Norman Kali who also worked on the hit ABC-TV show as a production assistant. She recently finished work on “Real Steel”, a futuristic movie drama starring Hugh Jackman in which 2,000-lb human-looking robot boxers do battle. (Wow … get the Oscar ready!)
• 25-year-old actress Amanda Seyfried (“Red Riding Hood”, TV’s “Big Love”) tells “More!” magazine she’s definitely ‘not irresistible’ but thinks men love her ‘filthy’ side. She’s currently dating actor Ryan Phillippe, who has a bit of a reputation himself as a Hollywood bad-boy. Seyfried says bad guys tend to be fearless and really self-centered, which should be disgusting, but for some reason she finds it sexy. (Some actors should never speak without a script.)
• And Tinseltown health officials are blaming a hot-tub at the Playboy Mansion for a recent virus outbreak in Los Angeles. Hugh Hefner’s famous California estate was dragged into an LA County Health Dept investigation after it played host to a fund-raiser. Many guests allegedly fell ill with a respiratory condition and over 120 suffered a fever. The illness is thought to be due to a strain of legionella bacteria, which causes Legionnaires disease. (You people are lucky that’s all you caught from that cesspool!)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Scala & Kolacny Bros (“Scala & Kolacny Brothers”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – The remaining couples perform.
• “Gayle King” (OWN) – Jamie Foxx (“Best Night of My Life”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Jessie J (“Who You Are”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Fitz & The Tantrums (“Pickin’ Up The Pieces”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Everest (“On Approach”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tres Mts (“Three Mountains”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Funeral Party (“Golden Age of Knowhere”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – 1970s-80s band REO Speedwagon.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/A Channel) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Cake (“Showroom Of Compassion”).

• Airborne Toxic Event – Tonight in London, they launch a series of multi-venue, 5-night residencies that will also play LA and NYC in support of their new album “All at Once” (April 26th). What makes the idea unique is that the concerts in each city will take place at 5 different venues of increasing capacity each night.
• Arcade Fire – For their Saturday set at the “Coachella Festival” in Indio CA they teamed with experimental art group The Creators Project. A large crane held a dark-colored box the same size as the stage in the air for most of the show which gradually released hundreds of balloon-like lanterns that spilled out over the crowd.
• Keith Urban – He tells Australia’s “Daily Telegraph” security is simply too tight at concerts nowadays, which can suck the energy out of them. Quote: “A concert is supposed to be 2 hours of unbridled freedom to be in the moment, to have the best night.”
• Rascal Flatts – They’re being sued by former managers Turner Nichols & Associates, who are asking for a 15% commission on tour dates through June 2013 for negotiating the tour. The management firm also seeks compensation for TV appearances and DVDs it negotiated.
• Tim McGraw – He’s been forced to pull out of the Denzel Washington movie “Safe House” due to scheduling conflicts with his current “Emotional Traffic” tour. The fact the film’s being shot in South Africa doesn’t help.
• Trace Adkins – Last week he testified before a congressional subcommittee on behalf of the Civil War Battlefield Preservation Program. This month marks the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the American Civil War.

A UK survey of 2,000 employers finds that women are perceived as unprofessional if they wear a fitted top to a job interview … and that includes a turtleneck. A recent “Cosmo” poll of over 500 US job recruiters similarly finds nearly 70% saying that ‘dressing provocatively’ is a deal-breaker. It leads female interviewers in particular to assume you’ll be a distraction in the office. It’s ridiculously sexist but recruiters say that if your goal is to score the job, you have to walk the line between fashionable and provocative. (What’s the perfect interview outfit?)

People growing marijuana indoors use 1% of the USA’s electricity supply and create 17 million metric tons of carbon dioxide every year (not counting the smoke exhaled) according to a report by Evan Mills, an energy analyst at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. In order to produce some 17,000 metric tons of marijuana this year, Mills estimates authorized growers will use $5-billion-worth of energy. That works out to the output of 7 large power plants. (But unlike raising sheep, there’s no giant release of methane.)
– “San Francisco Business Times”

• “Dead Hooker In a Trunk”
• “Gladiators v Werewolves”
• “Nude Nuns With Big Guns”

A new Cornell University study finds the term ‘organic’ is misleading a lot of people when it comes to food choices. There seems to be a widespread perception that the term is closely associated with the term healthy, despite the fact that ‘organic’ merely refers to a method of production (ie: pesticide-free produce) rather than the actual nutritional content of food. Researchers warn that ‘organic’ doesn’t guarantee low calories and recommend you always check the nutrition label on foods for the real facts. (And what does ‘green’ really mean?)

University of Edinburgh psychologist David Weeks has written the book “Eccentrics”, in which he claims people who are ‘oddballs’ are generally happier than those who fit the norm.  As an example, he cites the case of a 19th-century San Francisco CA weirdo who went by the name of ‘Oofty Goofty’. He earned a living by allowing people to kick him for 10 cents … and was said to be ecstatic. (Makes your job description a little easier to bear, no?)
– PA News

A trip to the pharmacy is the safest way to discard expired medication, according to Tracey Phillips, Rexall Family of Pharmacies’ national director of pharmacy services. Tossing unused medicines into the garbage or flushing them down the toilet can be dangerous. Landfill sites and water supplies become tainted with discarded medicines when people dispose of them in this manner. To avoid the toxic risks associated with such practices, medication should be brought back to the pharmacy for ‘environmentally friendly disposal’. (Do they sell them all over again?)

The Chocolate Museum in Bruges, Belgium has a life-size chocolate Barack Obama.

“It’s a circus act, it’s dress-up. That’s why the British have the greatest theater in the world. They love to dress up and they love to play pretend. And that’s what the royal family is, a huge game of pretend. These aren’t special people … it’s fake outfits, fake phony hats & gowns.”
– Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, commenting about the royal wedding on UK TV show “Daybreak”.


1947 [64] James Woods, Vernal UT, TV actor (“Shark” 2006-08)/movie actor (“The Ghosts of Mississippi”, “Salvador”)

1953 [58] Rick Moranis, Toronto ON, movie actor (“Ghostbusters”, “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids”)/former TV comic (‘McKenzie Brothers’ on “SCTV”)

1956 [55] Eric Roberts, Biloxi MS, movie/TV actor/Julia Roberts’ bitter big brother who’s made over 100 films but gets none of the acclaim she does

1963 [48] Eric McCormack, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Will & Grace” 1998-2006)  UP NEXT: The TNT series “Perception” (2012), playing an eccentric neuro-scientist who uses his expertise to help feds crack difficult cases.

1963 [48] Conan O’Brien, Brookline MA, TV host (“Conan” since 2010”, “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009-10, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2009)/comedy writer (“The Simpsons” 1991-93, “Saturday Night Live” 1987-91)

1974 [37] Mark Tremonti, Detroit MI, rock guitarist (Creed-“My Sacrifice”, “With Arms Wide Open”), Alter Bridge-“Isolation”, “Open Your Eyes”)

1979 [32] Kourtney Kardashian, Mill Valley CA, reality TV personality (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami “, “Kourtney & Kim Take New York”)

1984 [27] America Ferrera, LA CA, TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2006-10)/movie actress (“How to Train Your Dragon”, “Our Family Wedding”)

• “Boston Marathon”, the 115th running of one of the most high-profile races as some 10,000 long-distance runners chase a half-million in prizes. The race starts in Hopkinton MA and winds through 8 towns to the finish in downtown Beantown.

• “IRS Income Tax Payday” in the USA, moved from April 15th because Washington DC celebrated “Emancipation Day” a day earlier than normal, as April 16th fell on a Saturday.
In honor of this cherished annual event, it’s also “Rubber Eraser Day” and “National Gripers Day”.

• “Passover” begins at sunset, the 8-day Jewish celebration of the flight of the Israelites from Egyptian slavery in the 1200’s BCE. A ceremonial Seder takes place on the first 2 nights, when symbolic foods such as unleavened bread are placed on the table.

• “Pet Owners Independence Day”, a day when dog and cat owners are encouraged to take the day off and have their pets work in their place, since most are unemployed and sleep all day.

• “Turnoff Week” begins (aka “Screen-Free Week”), when everyone is encouraged to turn off their electronics and enjoy the world and the people around them.

• “World Amateur Radio Day”, honoring the worldwide hobby of ‘ham radio’. It’s observed on the anniversary of the 1925 founding of the International Amateur Radio Union. The 2011 theme is ‘Amateur Radio: The First Technology-Based Social Network.’

1938 [73] Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster see their cartoon creation ‘Superman’ launched in “Action Comics #1”, which is actually cover-dated ‘June’  BS FACTOID: Siegel & Shuster were barely out of high school when they created their hero and sold him to DC Comics for a mere $130. They eventually sued the company, which settled the case out of court by giving each an annual pension of $20,000 per year indexed to the cost of living. They eventually earned over $100,000 per year for their work. The approximate present-day value for an original copy of  “Action Comics #1” … $1.5 million.

1924 [87] Simon & Schuster publish the 1st ‘Crossword Puzzle Book’

1934 [77] 1st Laundromat opens, in Fort Worth TX … ‘The Washateria’ (be sure to say it with a Texas accent!)

1955 [56] 1st ‘Walk/Don’t Walk’ lighted street signals appear, in NYC (later replaced with pictograms)

1991 [20] Charlie Kovacs of Seymour, Australia sets ‘World Camper Speed Record’ by towing his Roadster camper at a speed of 126.76 mph (204 km/hr)

[Tues] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Tues] Hanging Out Day
[Wed] 2011 Tribeca Film Festival opens (NYC)
[Wed] 2011 Dove Awards (Atlanta)
[Wed] Look-Alike Day
[Wed] Pot Smokers Day

Cleaning For a Reason Week / Coin Week / Consumer Awareness Week / Crime Victims Rights Week / Fish Fry Week / Holy Week (Christian) / Karaoke Week / National Park Week / Paperboard Packaging Week / Passover (Jewish) / Pet ID Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “Money Can Make You Rich!”
• “Overcoming Peace of Mind”
• “Lie Your Sweet Ass Off & Become A Millionaire!”
• “Combing! The Revolutionary New Way to Adjust Your Hair”
• “How to Win Friends and Influence People In the Bus Station Men’s Room”
• “If You Want To Lose Weight, Just Stop Eating, You Fat Cow!”
• “How I Made $100 in Real Estate!”
• “Profit from Your Genitalia!”
– First published in “BS” 1997

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

Today is “Stress Awareness Day”, focusing on one of the world’s leading health problems. When you’re stressed, which works best to help you calm down?
a. Hitting something.
b. Taking a deep breath.
c. Washing your hands & face with warm water. [CORRECT]
– “American Health Magazine”

If you could marry someone famous from the past who’s no longer alive, who would it be?

Today’s Question: The average person has 130 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Facebook friends.

Happiness is working in your own area code.

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