Wednesday, April 18, 2012        Edition: #4730

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

29-year-old actress Anne Hathaway has reportedly postponed her wedding to fiancée Adam Schulman, because she wants to give her newly-cropped hair time to grow back (her long locks were lopped for her role in the now-shooting “Les Miserables”) . . . Not content to flog a dead MySpace, Justin Timberlake has found yet another hobby that isn’t making music – he’s releasing the ‘HomeMint Home Decor Line’ (because when you think of chic interiors, you immediately think of JT, no?) . . . Within the next few weeks, stars Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are returning to the Vancouver set of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2” to shoot the last tiny missing pieces for the final instalment in the franchise (opening November 16th) . . . Author JK Rowling is working on a new “Harry Potter” encyclopedia (running short of cash, are we?) . . . A rep for actress Mila Kunis emphatically tells that she’s NOT dating actor Ashton Kutcher, despite reports of the two spending time together (she sure jumped all over that rumor quick) . . . Work on a “Muppets” movie sequel is underway, and screenwriter Nicholas Stoller reveals that fans should expect a caper film (something to do with a ‘Piggy Bank’?) . . . “Downton Abbey” followers can stop clutching your pearls as the show’s production company says reports actress Maggie Smith will be leaving after the hit show’s 3rd season are ‘complete nonsense’ (such a ‘Dowager Countess’ thing to say) . . . And a new reality-TV version of ABC’s “GCB” (Good Christian Bitches) is being developed by the producers behind the “Real Housewives” franchise (maybe it’ll generate more ratings than the flailing scripted version).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The remaining finalists perform.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Girls (“Father, Son, Holy Ghost”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Squeeze (“Live At The Fillmore”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – The Sheepdogs (“Five Easy Pieces”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Jason Mraz (“Love Is a Four Letter Word”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Bombay Bicycle Club (“A Different Kind Of Fix”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Ting Tings (“Sounds From Nowheresville”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Shins (“Port of Morrow”). Rerun.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – The Fray (“Scars & Stories”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Toby Keith (“Clancy’s Tavern”). Rerun.
• Tribeca Film Festival (NYC) – The 11th annual film gala co-founded by Robert De Niro reels through April 29th and features “The Five Year Engagement” (starring Jason Segel & Emily Blunt) and the Marvel Comics superhero film “The Avengers”, which closes the festival.

• Blake Shelton – He’s celebrating his 6th consecutive #1 hit this week with “Drink On It”. It’s his 11th country chart-topper overall.
• Kelly Clarkson – She and The Fray are teaming for a co-headlining Summer tour. Carolina Liar will open all dates. The trek begins July 21st in Ridgefield, Washington.
• Lady Antebellum – Dave Haywood quietly got married over the weekend, becoming the last of the trio to tie the knot. He wed Warner Music employee Kelli Cashiola on a private farm outside of Nashville.
• Sheryl Crow – Tonight at the “Unforgettable Evening” gala in Los Angeles, she’s honored with the 2012 ‘Courage Award’ for winning her battle against breast cancer. The event, marking the 15th anniversary of the Women’s Cancer Research Fund, includes a performance by Rihanna.
• Tupac Shakur – An arena tour with a technologically-reproduced Tupac is already in the planning stages after his much-talked-about holographic appearance at the Coachella Festival on the weekend. (Would this qualify as a ‘live show’ or what?)


New terms leaking into our lingo …
✓ ‘Diarrheaist’ [diarrhea-ist] – A person who shares far too much online, particularly personal information. (In other words … Courtney Love.)
✓ ‘Carbage’ – The garbage that accumulates inside a vehicle, particularly in the backseat. (“Of course I can give you a ride, just shovel off the carbage and make yourself a space.”)
✓ ‘Success Disaster’ – Massive problems created when a person or company is unable to handle an overwhelming success. (3 million hits on a website in a month is a success for a startup; 3 million hits a minute could be a disaster.)


A new comparison of celeb’s previous earnings to their take-home pay today …
• Albert Pujols – $2,750 minor league ball player (2000); $14.5 million with LA Angels today.
• Barack Obama – $48,400 Illinois State Senator (1997); $400,000 as US president.
• Carrie Underwood – $15,980 waitress (2004); $20 million as country singer today.
• Jon Hamm – $14,350 waiter (1995); $2.3 million as star of “Mad Men”.
• Johnny Depp – $13,500 sales rep (1983); $50 million as a movie star today.
• Jim Harbaugh – $375,000 NFL QB (1987); $5 million as NFL coach (San Francisco 49ers).
• Oprah Winfrey – $200,000 host of “AM Chicago” (1984); $290 million as CEO of Harpo today.
• Ryan Seacrest – $10,800 radio DJ (1995); $15 million as “American Idol” host.
• Sarah Palin – $64,000 mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (1996); $1 million as Fox News analyst.
• Snooki – $45,000 reality TV star (2009); $1.6 million today doing the same gig.
• Suzanne Collins – $31,300 TV writer (1991); $10 million as “Hunger Games” author today.
– Condensed from “Parade” magazine


• Having fun stimulates the release of antibodies that boosts your immune system and wards off illness according to researchers at State University of New York at Stony Brook.  Negative events, especially those related to work, have the opposite effect. (See … work is bad for you!)
• A lifestyle survey finds that 64% of us use professional sports as a way to escape the drudgery of day-to-day life. (36% of us use sports as a way to give away money in pools.)
– “Maclean’s Magazine”
• The book “Eccentrics” by University of Edinburgh psychologist David Weeks says people who are ‘oddballs’ are generally happier than those who fit the norm. As an example, he cites the case of 19th-century San Francisco wacko Oofty Goofty, who earned a living by allowing people to kick him for 10¢. (The guy was ecstatic.)


A Scottish comedian is going on the room service menu of a new hotel in Edinburgh. Tomorrow through Saturday guests of the Hotel Indigo will be able to order a 10-minute show from Janey Godley from room service, along with food & drink. The hotel’s general manager notes that Edinburgh has become synonymous with comedy, thanks to hosting the world’s largest arts festival each Summer. So it seems a logical step to quite literally put comedy on the menu. (“Room service? Send me up a comic and a bowl of rotten tomatoes.”)

Research in psycho-linguistics reveals that the vast majority of speech errors come about simply because of the sheer mechanical complexity of speaking. When it comes to talking, the mind cares much more about speed than it does about accuracy. So we literally speak before we’re done thinking about what we’re going to say. This is true not just for the more impetuous, but for all speakers, all the time. Speech production is like an assembly line, but an astoundingly frenzied one in which an incomplete set of blueprints is snatched out of the hands of designers by workers eager to begin assembling the product before it’s fully sketched out. (Let’s do our elocution exercise altogether now: “The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue. The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue. The teeth …”)
– “Discover Magazine”

• Holding a gun makes someone look taller.
• In Rome 7,575 streets are named after men while just 580 are named after women.
– BBC News
• The next edition of the reference book, “The New Grove Dictionary of Musical Instruments”, is expected to list some 20,000 different musical instruments used worldwide.
– “Times of London”


1947 [65] James Woods, Vernal UT, TV actor (“Shark” 2006-08)/movie actor (2 Oscar nominations: “The Ghosts of Mississippi”, “Salvador”)

1963 [49] Eric McCormack, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Will & Grace” 1998-2006)  UP NEXT: Stars in the TNT crime drama “Perception”, debuting July 9th.

1963 [49] Conan O’Brien, Brookline MA, TV host (“Conan” since 2010”, “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009-10, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2009)/comedy writer (“The Simpsons” 1991-93, “Saturday Night Live” 1987-91)

1969 [43] Christian Slater, NYC, TV actor (“Breaking In” since 2011)/movie actor (“Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”, “Bobby”)

1974 [38] Mark Tremonti, Detroit MI, rock guitarist (Creed-“My Sacrifice”, “With Arms Wide Open”), Alter Bridge-“Isolation”, “Open Your Eyes”)

1979 [33] Kourtney Kardashian, Mill Valley CA, reality TV personality (“Kourtney & Kim Take New York” since 2011, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” since 2007)

1982 [30] Scott Hartnell, Regina SK, NHL winger (Philadelphia Flyers)

1984 [28] America Ferrera, LA CA, TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2006-10)/movie actress (“How to Train Your Dragon”, “Our Family Wedding”)

1987 [25] Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Plymouth UK, fashion model/sometime movie actress (“Transformers: Dark Of the Moon”)

• “Columnists Day”, sponsored by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists to increase awareness of the importance and contribution made by columnists and journalists around-the-world.

• “Pet Owners Independence Day”, a day when dog and cat owners are encouraged to take the day off and have their pets work in their place, since most are unemployed and sleep all day.

• “Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day”, an annual event begun as a promotion for a pajama-maker that’s evolved into another fun excuse for office hijinks.

• “World Amateur Radio Day”, honoring the worldwide hobby of ‘ham radio’. It’s observed on the anniversary of the 1925 founding of the International Amateur Radio Union. (“If you wanna hear ham radio, check out our afternoon show with …”)

1938 [74] Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster see their cartoon creation ‘Superman’ launched in “Action Comics #1”, which is actually cover-dated ‘June’  BS FACTOID: Siegel & Shuster were barely out of high school when they created their hero and sold him to DC Comics for a mere $130. They eventually sued the company, which settled the case out-of-court by giving each an annual pension of $20,000 per year indexed to the cost of living. They eventually earned over $100,000 per year for their work. The approximate present-day value for an original copy of  “Action Comics #1” … $1.5 million.


1987 [25] Aretha Franklin scores a #1 hit with “I Knew You Were Waiting For Me”, a duet with George Michael (her 1st chart-topper in 19 years, 10 months breaks the record for ‘Longest Span Between #1 Hits’)


1924 [88] Simon & Schuster publish the 1st ‘Crossword Puzzle Book’ (millions of people start a crossword each day, but it’s estimated only 10% finish)

1934 [78] 1st Laundromat opens, in Fort Worth TX … ‘The Washateria’ (be sure to say it with a Texas accent)

1955 [57] 1st ‘Walk/Don’t Walk’ lighted street signals appear, in NYC (later replaced with pictograms)

1991 [21] Charlie Kovacs of Seymour, Australia sets ‘World Camper Speed Record’ by towing his Roadster camper at a speed of 126.76 mph or 204 km/hr (his wife inside was not pleased)


[Thurs] High Five Day
[Fri] “Chimpanzee”; “The Lucky One”; “Think Like a Man”; “To The Arctic 3-D” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Husband Appreciation Day
[Fri] Pot Smokers Day
[Sat] Record Store Day
[Sun] Earth Day
This Week Is … Karaoke Week
This Month Is … Defeat Diabetes Month


• “How I Made $100 in Real Estate!”
• “Overcoming Peace of Mind”
• “How to Improve Your Horoscope”
• “Money Can Make You Rich!”
• “How to Convert Your Family Room Into a Garage”
• “Europe on $50,000 A Day”
• “Profit From Your Genitalia!”


They say the cream rises to the top. So does the scum.


• How come books all begin on the right-hand page?
• Ever notice a lot of women like chocolate and dogs, but offer them chocolate served on a dog and suddenly you’re the weird one?
• Can soap be dirty?
• What’s the coldest fire can be?
• Why are diseases categorized by stages and numbers, but not happy things?
• Is it uncouth to tuck in your dental apron?


When you’re stressed, which works best to help calm you down?
a. Hitting something.
b. Taking a deep breath.
c. Washing your face & hands with warm water. [CORRECT]
– “American Health”


☎ Are all animals created equal? If absolutely necessary, which of Earth’s creatures would you be willing to give up?

Question: If you are average, you’ll do THIS over 1,100 times this year.
Answer: Make a phone call.

Nothing is sometimes the best thing to say.

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