Tuesday, April 18, 2017        Edition: #5955

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★Survivor contestant  Jeff Varner lost a lot more than the show’s million dollar prize when he made the decision to out fellow tribemate Zeke Smith as transgender in an attempt to paint him as “deceitful” on Wednesday’s episode of the CBS reality competition.  His move, which caused outrage and backlash, not only caused the 50-year-old three-time player to be unanimously voted out of the game by his tribemates — but it also cost him his real-life job. Varner was fired from his job as a real estate agent on Thursday — his now-former employer Allen Tate Realtors said Varner was “in the middle of a news story that  we don’t  want anything to do with.”
★Farrah Abraham is throwing some spring shade at her fellow Teen Mom OG stars.  Abraham shared a photo of her 8-year-old daughter Sophia’s pink Easter basket on Twitter Saturday night. Instead of a message about the holiday or her child, however, she slammed her MTV costars Amber Portwood, Catelynn (Lowell) Baltierra and Maci Bookout.  “It’s Hilarity how I single handily made more views & ratings then all three stooges on @TeenMom & make more rating then 1offs…sh!” Abraham  wrote.
(Single ‘handily’??)
★Mark Hamill might keep the beard…for his wife.  After a quick nonspeaking appearance at the end of Force Awakens, old Luke’s back and playing a major role teaching the Force to Rey (Daisy Ridley) in Star Wars: The Last Jedi (in theaters Dec. 15).  Hamill was on hand for the debut of the teaser trailer when it was unveiled for fans at Star Wars Celebration on Friday…still sporting his character’s beard.  Why? His wife really likes it.  Quote: “If she likes it, I like it,”
(The student has become the master … of not shaving)
(The force is strong in this one)
★Apparently for Jessica Chastain, the old showbiz adage ‘never work with animals or children’ does not ring true.  She spoke about her experience making “The Zookeeper’s Wife”, which tells the true story of the owners of Warsaw Zoo, Antonina and Jan Zabinski, who rescue hundreds of Jewish refugees and animals from invading Nazi forces.  She says that she loves working with both animals and children, and revealed one trick up her sleeve: just before the director would say ‘action’, she  would hold an apple behind her.  Her elephant co-star would appear to be playing with her, but actually be looking for the apple.

•“Jimmy Kimmel” (ABC/Global): Katherine Heigl, Rob Delaney, Dreamcar
•“Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Spacey, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Alt-J
•“Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Alec Baldwin, Charlamagne Tha God, Moshe Kasher, Taj Mahal & Keb’ Mo’
•“Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Dax Shepard, Hannah Simone, Hey Violet, Charlie Benante  R
•“James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Shania Twain, Tyrese Gibson, Whitney Cummings, Bastille
•“Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Christina Applegate, Sherri Shepherd, Car Seat Headrest
•“Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Tony Hale, Kristin Chenoweth
•“Live with Kelly” (ABC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, Renee Elise Goldsberry, guest co-host Jussie Smollett
•“Ellen DeGeneres” (NBC/CTV) : Rob Delaney, Spoon
•“The Voice” (ABC/CTV): The Voice  “Live Playoffs, Night 2”
•“Trial & Error” (NBC/CTV): 2 episodes including Season Finale: The verdict is announced; key evidence answers the question of who killed Margaret Henderson.

•Radiohead – walked off the Coachella stage TWICE due to sound problems.  They were the much anticipated headliners for the first night of this year’s Coachella.  But sound problems plagued Radiohead’s set, with a glitch-plagued opening in which the audio system repeatedly crashed.
•John Mayer – he says he has a ‘horrible existence’ because he can’t stop thinking about his work.   He confessed that he is ‘self-centered’ but insists he doesn’t think everything he does is great.  Quote: “I think about everything I do all of the time…All I do is think about what I do. It’s a horrible existence.”
•Glen Campbell – his Final Album ‘Adiós’ lands June 9.  The 12-song collection was recorded in Nashville following the 80-year-old’s 2011 Alzheimer’s diagnosis and his subsequent Goodbye Tour in 2012.  His wife Kim describes the recording sessions as “heartbreaking at times” because of Glen’s struggles with dementia. She says the Grammy-winning singer was “clearly ecstatic about being in the studio.”
•Sam Hunt – married his fiancée, Hannah Lee Fowler in an intimate ceremony in his hometown of Cedartown, Georgia, on Saturday.  The country singer, 32, and nurse married in front of a small group of friends and family.
•Elle King – was scheduled to get married on the weekend, but went out rockin’ instead. She shared a video on Instagram from a Eagles of Death Metal concert in Seattle on Saturday night.
She captioned the video: “Skipped out on my wedding. I married Rock&Roll instead.”
King also shared a selfie in which she donned blue hair with an unidentified pal.
•Walk Off the Earth – Pregnant singer-songwriter Sarah Blackwood says she is baffled that she was kicked off a United Airlines flight heading from San Francisco to Vancouver because her toddler wouldn’t stop crying.  Now, the Burlington, ON singer for the Juno-nominated band is seeking compensation after the incident left her embarrassed.
•Janet Jackson – may be headed for divorce, but husband Wissam Al Mana still loves her.
Jackson’s billionaire soon-to-be ex-husband penned a touching message to her on his personal website, thanking her for her love and support and for being her ‘best friend,’ and calling her the ‘most beautiful person in the world.’

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play to a small, smaller or REALLY small screen near you:
•“Split”(PG-13 Drama, Horror) -Three girls are kidnapped by a man with a 23 distinct personalities (James McAvoy). They must try to escape before the apparent emergence of a frightful new 24th.  (Haley Lu Richardson, Anya Taylor-Joy, Betty Buckley, written and directed  by M. Night Shyamalan)
•“The Founder” (PG-13 Drama) – The story of Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton), a salesman who turned two brothers’ innovative fast food eatery, McDonald’s, into one of the biggest restaurant businesses in the world with a combination of ambition, persistence, and ruthlessness.  The film also stars Laura Dern as Ray Kroc’s first wife Ethel; John Carroll Lynch as Mac McDonald and Nick Offerman as Dick McDonald.
•“Sleepless” (R-Action/Mystery/Suspense) – Jamie Fox plays an undercover cop with a connection to the criminal underworld seeking revenge on his son’s kidnappers during one sleepless night.  (Michelle Monaghan, Dermot Mulroney, Gabrielle Union)
•“Punching Henry” (Comedy) -Hapless satirical songwriter Henry Phillips is lured to LA when a veteran TV producer (J.K. Simmons) decides to make a show about the life of a loser.  As reality sets in, he must decide whether his legacy will be to tell jokes for a living or become the butt of them. (Sarah Silverman, Tig Notaro, Jim Jefferies, Doug Stanhope)
Also being released:  A League of Their Own 25th Anniversary Editon, The Handmaid’s Tale (Blu-ray debut), Donnie Darko Limited Edition

Remember when you were younger and you were able to sleep until noon, no problem?
Now, getting a good night’s sleep might seem harder and harder.  Why?  A new study from U.C. Berkeley argues that as we age, our brain mechanisms change, which makes it harder for us to figure out when we’re actually tired. This in turn can make it more difficult to get a full night’s ZZZs. In the study, as mice got older, the receptors in the brain that receive ‘sleepiness’ signals decline. In basic terms, as we age, the brain has the same sleep cues, but it is unable to pick up on them.  Bottom line?  By the time we hit 50, we only have about half of the deep sleep that we were getting in our early 20s. And by 70, quality shut-eye practically goes out the window.  What can be done?  Not much. They are working on it.  Meantime, researchers suggest little changes like avoiding caffeine after the early afternoon, sleeping in a room that’s slightly colder than usual and frequent exercise (but not within three hours of bedtime), blah, blah, blah….and all the other usual stuff that you have heard before.

(Thanks, now I’m going to sleep even worse!)
(They’re right.  I never seem to get a good night’s sleep. Except in church!)
(Wait a minute…one thing I do know is when I am tired.  And let  me tell you, right now, I am ti-zzzzzzzzzzz)

A new trend in gift-giving at baby and bridal showers is to bring a gift wrapped in CLEAR decoration.  Many of the hosts of trendier celebrations in New York are including an instruction on the invitation requesting that the invitee “Please be a dear and wrap in clear.”  The thinking is that if the recipient can tell what the gift is at a glance, they can thank the bearer on the spot, and the whole party doesn’t have sit through the torturous custom of the guest of honor opening each and every gift in front of everyone.  One of the biggest complaints about showers is that they tend to drag on and on.  And on. This new trend still allows the giver to be thanked and frees the guest of honor to socialize more during the shower.
(Plus you can see right away if 2 people bought the same thing)
(Grandma is NOT going to like this)
(And of course you don’t mind walking through the parking garage carrying lingerie in a CLEAR bag, do you?)

You may already know that it is best not to eat a meal before going to the gym.
But scientists have a new reason to hold off on that meal – the biggest gains may happen on a completely empty stomach.  Working out while hungry may even be beneficial to someone’s health in the long-term. What they found is that after eating, the body is too busy responding to the meal just consumed to focus on burning calories.  This means exercising straight after eating won’t help you to slim down.  Instead, the body uses the consumed carbohydrates as its energy source – not the desired fat people want to burn. However, going to the gym while in a fasted state may help to burn the fat and even turn it into muscle, researchers believe.
(I thought that last part was physically impossible…)
(Work out hungry? Yay, another reason to hate going to the gym!)
(And I thought I was ‘hangry’ before!)
-Daily Mail

A house fly lives only 14 days.


1963 [54] Conan O’Brien, Brookline MA, TV host (“Conan” since 2010, “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009-10, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2009)

1974 [43] Mark Tremonti, Detroit MI, rock guitarist (Creed-”With Arms Wide Open”; Alter Bridge-”Open Your Eyes”)

1979 [38] Kourtney Kardashian, LA CA, reality TV personality (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians” since 2007, “Kourtney & Kim Take NY” 2011, “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami” 2009)

1962 [55] Jeff Dunham, Dallas TX, Stand-up comedian and ventriloquist. ( Achmed the Dead Terrorist, José Jalapeño on a Stick, Bubba J, Walter)

1971 [46] David Tennant, Bathgate Scotland, actor (Doctor Who 2005-2013)

•“Adult Autism Awareness Day”, to create awareness of the Adult Autism Community, demonstrate the importance of transition planning, promote inclusiveness through education, and improve social and employment outcomes for adults with autism.

•“Newspaper Columnists Day”, initiated in 1995 by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists to increase awareness of the importance and contribution made by columnists and journalists worldwide.

•“National Animal Crackers Day”, This day brings us back to our childhood memories and the many boxes of Animal Crackers we shared with our friends.  Animal Crackers refer to a type of small cookie baked in the shape of circus or zoo animals, such as a lion, tiger, bear or elephant.

•“Pet Owners Independence Day” It’s a holiday for all of those who have pets. If you are a pet owner, be proud and celebrate yourself on this day! You should do this by taking off the day for work and send your pet(s) to work in your place pets. Enjoy the life by switching into a pet’s perspective by sleeping and eating all day long.

•“World Amateur Radio Day”, honoring the worldwide hobby of ‘ham radio’. It’s observed on the anniversary of the 1925 founding of the International Amateur Radio Union.
(Amateur? Radio? Are you pointing at me?)

[Wed] Amaretto Day
[Wed] Garlic Day
[Thurs] Get To Know Your Customers Day
[Thurs] Cheddar Fries Day
This Week Is…National Pet ID Week

2012 [05] TV personality-producer Dick Clark, former host of “American Bandstand” (1957-89) and “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” (1974-2011), dies of heart attack at age 82 in Santa Monica CA

2015 [02] Green Day is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in their first year of eligibility, alongside others including Lou Reed, Joan Jette& the Blackhearts and Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble

2013 [04] Keeler-62e and Keeler-62f, two planets resembling Earth are discovered revolving around the star Keeler-62 in the ‘habitable zone’ (an area around stars where atmospheric pressure could support liquid water on the surface)

1991 [26] Charlie Civics of Seymour, Australia sets ‘World Camper Speed Record’ by towing his Roadster camper at a speed of 126.76 mph or 204 km/hr (his wife inside is not pleased)



(In case you plan to watch “Split”, out on video today…)
• When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it’s really dead.
• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
• If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
• If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice … more if you’re female.
• Beware of strangers bearing all tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, soldering irons, etc.
• If your car runs out of gas at night, do NOT go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
•At the worst possible time, for whatever reason, you will find that your cell phone is either lost or does not work.
– First published in “BS” 1997.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee
– that will do them in.

☎What was the biggest life change you’ve gone through?

Question: 16% of people of say they have been known to do THIS when they go through the drive-thru. What is it?
A: Ask for a doggy treat!

You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.

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