April 2 2018

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Monday, April 2, 2018 Edition: #6188

Deja Moo!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
Today’s edition marks the 25th Anniversary of the Bull Sheet, and the first under current management. Our mission continues to be to provide topical, interesting and slightly offbeat show prep to on-air (and online) personalities. As always, your feedback, suggestions, and contributions are welcome. Thank you for being a part of the Bull Sheet community. And that’s just about enough of this “Happy Birthday” BS. . .

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Arnold Schwarzenegger had open-heart surgery in California on Thursday to replace an aging pulmonic valve. Schwarzenegger, who had a congenital heart defect, had undergone pulmonic valve replacement in 1997. His representative says that the surgery was successful and that 70-year-old Schwarzenegger is in stable condition at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles. She tweeted that Arnold was in good spirits and that he even invoked his famous “Terminator” catchphrase upon waking up: “I’m back.”
(As long as it wasn’t “Hasta la vista, baby”!)
-CNN, MSN
★ The mystery of the location of the iconic couch used in the original “Roseanne” show has been resolved. Star John Goodman had previously said it was in the Smithsonian Institution – but then Roseanne Barr found out it was not, and said she had no idea who actually had it. It turns out the couch is at a Los Angeles warehouse, and is being looked after by ‘Museum Of TV’ curator James Comisar. A replica is being used for the “Roseanne” reboot.
-DailyMail
★ Lena Dunham’s mother is ”weirdly doubtful” of her after she was accused of biting Beyoncé. The search to discover who the culprit was has been widespread since the news broke, and although Dunham has denied being involved, she has now revealed that even her own mother thinks she might have something to do with the alleged altercation.
(Can’t we move on to more important things…like who stabbed Corey Feldman?)
-ContactMusic
★ John Cena has offered up his services to join former wrestling rival Dwayne Johnson in the next “Fast and Furious” movie, and says it would be his dream project. While he waits for that offer to come in, Cena has been lining up a variety of his own films of late, joining Robert Downey, Jr.’s star-studded “Doctor Dolittle” revamp, and the forthcoming “Transformers” spin-off “Bumblebee”.
-Canoe
★ Mary-Margaret Humes and John Wesley Shipp played Dawson Leery’s parents Gail and Mitch on “Dawson’s Creek” for six seasons, but they weren’t invited to the 20th anniversary reunion. Humes Instagrammed: “This was their choice…not ours…it was done behind our backs and we both were literally blindsided by it…” She wrote that the two were never told about the reunion, which was put together by Entertainment Weekly, and included stars such as James Van Der Beek, Katie Holmes, Joshua Jackson, Michelle Williams, Busy Philipps and more.
-DailyMail
★ Jim Carrey says his latest portrait of President Trump could be an early submission to the Smithsonian for Trump’s official portrait. Carrey posted the painting to Twitter on Thursday, depicting Trump eating an ice cream sundae in a bathrobe. Carrey wrote: “I know it’s early but I’d like to submit this as the official portrait of our 45th President, Donald J. Trump. It’s called, ‘You Scream. I Scream. Will We Ever Stop Screaming?’”
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jenna Fischer, Ashley McBryde
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tracy Morgan, Kate Mara, Chris Lane featuring Tori Kelly
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jennifer Lawrence, Patton Oswalt, MGMT ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Leslie Mann, Jared Harris, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Steve Smith
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Allison Janney, Joel McHale, Liam Gallagher ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Wanda Sykes, Tom Papa, Mt. Joy ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kristen Doute, Paul Adelstein
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Nick Groff, Katrina Weidman, guest co-host Cindy McCain ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, guest co-host Carnie Wilson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Leslie Mann, Steve Zahn
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Giada De Laurentiis, Bob Roth
• “American Idol” (ABC): Hollywood Week continues.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The knockouts get underway. Former “Voice” champions return as advisers.
• “The Crossing” (ABC): Series premiere. From the creators of MTV’s Scream comes this mysterious thriller about a group of refugees from a war-torn country who seek asylum in a small American fishing town.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Weeknd – implies on his new song ‘Call Out My Name’ that he offered his ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez his kidney. The song includes the lyrics: ”I said I didn’t feel nothing baby, but I lied / I almost cut a piece of myself for your life.”
• Cardi B – has revealed on social media that her first full-length album, ‘Invasion of Privacy’ will be released April 6.
• The Chainsmokers – will participate in the youth empowerment event ‘WE Day’ California April 19. Selena Gomez, Paula Abdul and Dierks Bentley will also make appearances.
• Meghan Trainor – wants to record a duet with Harry Styles. Quote: “One day Harry! If you can hear this, that would be amazing. Any one of [One Direction], they’re all so talented, but Harry is my fave.” The two have already written a song together.
• Ann Wilson – will induct the Moody Blues at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony April 14. Brandon Flowers from the Killers will induct the Cars. As previously announced, Howard Stern will do the honors for Bon Jovi. Brittany Howard of Alabama Shakes will induct early innovator Sister Rosetta Tharpe, while Mary J. Blige and Andra Day will pay tribute to jazz singer Nina Simone. No word yet on who will induct Dire Straits.
• Jon Bon Jovi – wrote a note to excuse the members of the Texas trio ‘Contagious’ from school. Why? The were busy…opening for Bon Jovi in Dallas, and as Jon wrote in the note, “And kicking butt!” All three band members are highschool sophomores.
• James Taylor – the children’s pop-up book “Sweet Baby James” is now available on his website. Parents have been singing the song of the same title as a lullaby to their children for generations. The book sells for $25.
• Dolly Parton – is the latest country artist featured on a mural outside of Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry. The portrait was unveiled last week on the Opry Plaza. Parton made her Opry debut when she was 10, and became a member in 1969.
• Little Big Town – are among the newly announced performers for the ACM Awards April 15. Also added to the lineup: Kane Brown, Kelly Clarkson, Alan Jackson, and Jon Pardi.
• Cole Swindell – promises a new album is coming. In an interview with Taste of Country Nights, he says fans can expect a new album, “Probably summer, late summer sometime.” He released the first single ‘Break Up in the End’ in February.

STRANGE BREW:
California coffee shops may have to serve up a cancer warning along with your cuppa. The shops may have to put up a warning that tells customers there is a possible cancer risk linked to their morning jolt of java. California keeps a list of chemicals it considers possible causes of cancer. One of them is acrylamide, which is created when coffee beans are roasted. The chemical stays in the coffee you drink in what a California court called a “high amount.” Although many studies have touted the health benefits of coffee, including some which show that it can lower your risk of some cancers, the court said in a preliminary ruling that coffee shops have failed in their requirement to give customers a “clear and reasonable warning” about the presence of high levels of this chemical. In addition to coffee, acrylamide can be found in potatoes and baked goods like crackers, bread and cookies, and prune juice.
(But what about all the people whose lives it has saved…because I would have killed them if I didn’t have coffee?)
(Man! That’s a harsh brew to wake up to!)
-CNN

HOW DO YOU LIKE THESE APPLES:
Get set for the next bold innovation in smartphones…the foldable i-Phone! Although Samsung has been talking about their own for awhile, it appears that Apple may beat them to the punch. Apparently they have already secured the patent, and insiders are saying that a phone with an actual folding screen could be as little as two years away. What’s the big deal? By having a phone in which the screen folds in half, you would be able to carry a phone with a screen that is twice as big as the one on your current smartphone, without increasing the size of the phone itself.
(The I-Pholder!)
(Good. Because I’ve folded a few in the past. And the result was NOT good!)
(Hey, I’ve had a flip phone for years!)
-Forbes

DANISH TURNOVER:
Denmark. It has to be the easiest country in the world in which to get a divorce. All it takes is a couple of clicks on an online form and a $70 (U.S.) payment. But that’s about to change. According to new rules backed by parliament last week, couples that agree to end their relationship will in the future have to observe a three-month “reflection period,” during which they’ll be offered free counseling by the state. Their children will also receive counseling during the grace period. Denmark has the highest divorce rate in western Europe, at nearly 50%.
(Nobody said divorce was cheap…except in Denmark, apparently!)
(You know that Demark is the happiest country on earth, right?)
(Three months? He should be good and tired of eating his own cooking by then!)
-TorontoStar

GENIUS MORNING HABITS OF INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE:
➢ Steve Jobs: Looked in the mirror every morning and asked himself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer was ‘No’ for too many days in a row, he knew he needed to change something. (Fortunately it can only be Monday once per week…)
➢ Oprah Winfrey: Doesn’t use an alarm: “They are … alarming! I put the number in my mind and I wake up before that, usually between 6:02 and 6:20, because the dogs are trained to go out around that time.”
➢ Richard Branson: Family First: “Exercise and family time put me in a great mind frame before getting down to business.” He also recommends a healthy breakfast.
➢ Arianna Huffington: Is a fan of getting at least eight hours of sleep and allowing your body to wake up naturally. There is, however, one thing she’s not big on and that’s breakfast — unless we’re talking about coffee.
➢ Kim Kardashian: Most mornings, she goes for a 60-minute jog, either in her gated community or on the treadmill. Beyond that, she “works her abs or legs” for an added bit of toning. (Bet you never thought you’s see her name in a list with the word ‘genius’ in the title!)
(My genius morning habit? Remembering to rinse the shampoo before I step out of the shower!)
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 04.02.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [73] Linda Hunt, Morristown NJ, TV actress (‘Hetty Lange’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actress (Oscar-“The Year of Living Dangerously”)

1947 [71] Emmylou Harris, Birmingham AL, folk-country singer (‘Blue Kentucky Girl’, w/Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt – ‘To Know Him Is to Love Him’)/12-TIME Grammy winner

1976 [42] Adam F. Goldberg, Philadelphia PA, producer (“The Goldbergs” since 2013″)

1977 [41] Michael Fassbender, Heidelberg, Germany, movie actor (“The Snowman”, “Steve Jobs”) COMING UP…”X-Men: Dark Phoenix”, 2019

1979 [39] Jesse Carmichael, Boulder CO, pop keyboardist (Maroon 5-‘Sugar’, ‘Moves Like Jagger’)

1988 [30] Jesse Plemons, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Date Night”, “Black Mass”, TV actor/”Friday Night Lights” 2006-2011)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ferret Day”, celebrating those cute & cuddly little pets that are the domesticated form of the European polecat, a mammal belonging to the weasel genus. (Don’t you just love it when they crawl up your pant leg?)

• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “The Little Mermaid”.
BS LEAST RECOMMENDED CHILDREN’S BOOKS:
– “The Little Sissy Who Snitched”
– “Whining, Kicking & Crying to Get Your Way”
– “Places Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things”
– “The Mouse, the Motorcycle, And the Organ Donor Card”
– “How to Write Your Name In the Snow”

• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!

• “Love Your Produce Manager Day”, a day to appreciate the person who orders and stocks fresh fruits and vegetables at groceries and supermarkets. So go ahead … squeeze his melons.

• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear Boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion …”)

• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development that’s estimated to affect 1-in-150 children worldwide.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Chocolate Mousse Day
[Tues] American Circus Day
[Wed] Carrot Day
[Wed] Day of Hope
This Week Is… Public Health Week
This Month Is… National Canine Fitness Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [07] After being fired from “Two-and-a-Half Men”, Charlie Sheen is booed on the first stop of his “Violent Torpedo Of Truth Tour” in Detroit MI, many in the audience demanding their money back (a somewhat warmer reception the following night in Chicago IL)

2011 [07] Singer Michael Bublé weds Argentine actress-model Luisana Lopilato at a private mansion near Buenos Aires, Argentina

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2006 [12] Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’ becomes the 1st-ever single to top charts based solely on download sales

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1978 [40] ‘Velcro’ is introduced (inspired by the little hooks on burrs that attach to clothing)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [38] Toshiaki Shirai & Yukiki Nagata of Tokyo, Japan set the world record for ‘Underwater Kissing’ (2 minutes, 18 seconds)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Inside your belly button are thousands of bacteria that form an ecosystem as complex as a rainforest.
✓ The heart symbol was first used to denote love around 1250. Prior to that, it represented foliage.
✓ Having a sarcastic friend can boost your creativity.
✓ The original thought behind having bridesmaids was to confuse evil spirits so they couldn’t guess who the actual bride was.
✓ The average PC owner spends 50 hours a year troubleshooting. The average Mac owner spends 5.
✓ Scientists concluded that the chicken came first, not the egg: because the protein which makes egg shells is only produced by hens.
-WhattheFFacts

BS OTHER JOBS FOR UMPIRES:
• Calling strikes at the bowling alley
• Catching fowl
• There’s always a position open in the Trump administration
• Ejection molding
• The loud guy at Starbucks who yells out you name when your coffee is ready
• Telemarketer…so he can make even more bad calls
• There has to be something they could do at the Umpire State Building
• Dishwasher. Because they’re so good at cleaning plates
• Braille teacher
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
Have you ever taken on a DIY project that ended in disaster? (About 80% of us have.) What happened?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 1 in 5 married couples say their first fight was about THIS. What?
Answer: How to do laundry

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.

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