Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Vogue” magazine has distanced itself from famed photographer Terry Richardson after the controversial snapper became embroiled in a new sex scandal over the weekend. The 48-year-old, who has worked with the likes of Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, and Rihanna, hit headlines on Sunday after model Emma Appleton shared a text message she allegedly received from him that suggested he would arrange a “Vogue” shoot for her in return for sexual favors. Richardson has previously been accused of sexual misconduct by models, but has never been arrested or charged over the claims.
★ A collection of 1998-2002 master recordings from Jay Z’s Roc-A-Fella Records label – valued between 15-and-20 million dollars is now in possession of the LAPD after a producer named Chauncey Mahan was busted trying to sell them back for a $100K ‘storage fee’. Jay Z and his people assumed the masters were lost after they went missing in 2002, but Mahan allegedly demanded cash recently for a number of them he found in his Northridge CA storage facility. That just might qualify as extortion. The investigation is ongoing, but it’s thought it will be up to a judge to determine ownership of the material.
★ And it’s thought that Michael Egan III’s bombshell sex assault lawsuit against Hollywood producer-director Bryan Singer and a trio of other Hollywood honchos will result in several high profile actors becoming involved in the civil action if it goes to trial. An inside source says the actors won’t be accused of any wrongdoing, but several are eyewitnesses to some of the illegal activity outlined in the lawsuit against the filmmaker. At least one of the names, the snitch says, will be shocking. Regardless of the outcome, the allegations come at a bad time for Singer, whose new film “X-Men: Days of Future Past” is set to open May 23rd.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The 6 finalists each perform a country song and a rock & roll song for the judges.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Rock Candy Funk Party (“We Want Groove”). Rerun.
• “Golden Gods Awards” (Amazon.com) – The annual hard rock & metal awards put on by “Revolver” magazine at LA’s Club Nokia. Avenged Sevenfold leads nominations (7), followed by Five Finger Death Punch (6), and Black Sabbath (5). Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose receives the ‘Ronnie James Dio Lifetime Achievement Award’. Performances by A Day to Remember, GN’R w/Duff McKagan, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Korn, Suicide Silence, Zakk Wylde and more.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Foster the People (“Supermodel”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Lyle Lovett (“Joshua Judges Ruth”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Paramore (“Paramore”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Needtobreathe (“Rivers In the Wasteland”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Neon Trees (“Pop Psychology”).
• “Nashville” (ABC) – Cast members Hayden Panettiere, Charles Esten, Clare Bowen, and Sam Palladio perform onstage in an episode titled “On the Record”, the show’s first prime-time concert special.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Nas (“Life Is Good”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Future f/Pusha T (“Honest”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Blake Shelton – He’s tweeted about the latest tabloid divorce rumors saying he and wife Miranda Lambert have been reading about their separation and he hopes he gets all the liquor in the divorce. Speculation has been that she’s fed up with his penchant for booze.
• Christina Aguilera – Seems she’s not only incubating a new baby but a new album as well. She’s already announced she will take a break from “The Voice” (NBC) in its next season as she is pregnant with her 2nd child.
• Foo Fighters – Producer Butch Vig tells UK’s “Kerrang” magazine their new album is about halfway finished. He promises a few new twists are being thrown into the mix to give the recording ‘a different sound and a different feel’.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s in the studio working on new music. In fact, he’s taking 2014 off from touring in order to focus on the new material. His only scheduled appearance this year comes June 7th at George Strait’s final concert in Arlington TX.
• Little Mix – They’ve announced their first North American headlining tour, set for the Fall. The dance-intensive “Salute Tour” kicks off September 10th in Boca Raton FL and runs through October 11th in Toronto ON.
• Miranda Lambert – She isn’t planning a major tour this year despite releasing the new album “Platinum” this June. She’ll play 3 shows with Jason Aldean during his “Burn It Down” stadium stops and just a handful of other shows this Summer.
JUST ADD WATER:
This sounds like we’re being punked but Gawker.com reports the US Alcohol & Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has OK-ed a new powdered booze product called ‘Palcohol’. The company is expected to begin marketing the product this Fall in 6 just-add-water flavors, including straight-up options like rum and vodka, as well as cocktail flavors like Cosmopolitan, Margarita, and Mojito. The product’s initial website suggests sprinkling Palcohol on almost any dish for ‘an extra kick’. Food pairings include rum on a BBQ sandwich, Cosmo on a salad, and vodka on eggs in the morning … to start your day off right. (Perfect product to sneak into stadiums!)
– “The Independent”
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 70% of viewers think they could perform CPR after seeing it on TV.
• 52% of us consumed all of our Easter candy in one day.
• 40% of us admit to flirting when we fly.
• 33% of us claim we never sweat at the gym.
• 30% of parents admit they ‘borrow’ from their children’s piggy banks.
• 21% of us say we’re pretty sure we’ll get divorced at some point in our lives.
Family discos and raves are increasingly common across London, as British clubbers who once packed world-famous venues such as Ministry of Sound get older and have children. Event planning company Big Fish Little Fish is specifically aimed at party parents who like to strut their stuff for a few hours before heading home for their kids’ bedtime. One dingy bar in south London that’s normally the venue for all-night raves is now transformed into a playgroup party for 2-and-a-half hours on Saturday afternoons, with professional DJs playing funk and house music. You can even get a tattoo at the bar … that washes off later. (Toddlers staggering around in the half-light are said to look disturbingly like small, drunk adults.)
– Agence France-Presse
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Eruptionist’ – A person who believes that life on Earth can or will be mostly destroyed by a massive volcanic eruption.
• ‘Gluten-Freegan’ – A person who consumes a gluten-free, vegan diet. (What do you do when your eating habits clash with your host’s?)
• ‘Mupload That Ish’ – Teens love technology, so they naturally have slang for the process of uploading pictures to social media via a mobile device. (“Ashley, that was such a great selfie, mupload that ish to Instagram!”)
HAVING YOUR PIE AND EATING IT TOO:
Canadian restaurant chain Boston Pizza is running a contest to determine the next ‘Pizza Game Changer’ and one of the options is a 6-layer cake made entirely of – you guessed it – pizza. A company spokesperson claims ‘Pizza Cake’ is great for birthdays, weddings, and lonely nights watching infomercials. Other cheesy contenders for the title of top pizza innovation include ‘Pizza Mints’, ‘Gas-Powered Pizza Cutter’, and ‘Pizza Air Freshener’. Pizza enthusiasts are asked to vote online, and the chain claims the winner will be made into a real product. So far, pizza cake is leading by a wide margin. (Brilliant promotion … it has people talking.)
BUT HOW DO YOU AUTOGRAPH IT?
Will itchy, smelly plaster casts one day be a thing of the past? A new design for a customizable 3D-printed cast not only looks cool, it also hooks up to a device that promises to speed healing. Inventor Deniz Karasahin’s futuristic-looking black ‘Osteoid Medical Cast’ is both lighter and more environmentally-friendly than traditional plaster casts. Its webbed design allows for probes from a low intensity pulsed ultrasound (LIPUS) to be placed directly on the skin, which is said to reduce healing time by up to 38%. The cast is still in the design stages, but it could make having a broken arm in the future a little less miserable. (A plaster cast is still a better weapon … as seen in the NFL.)
LOVE POTION #10:
An energy drink that claims to naturally amp up sexual performance has been pulled from shelves in Australia after it tested positive for a prescription-only erectile dysfunction drug. MosKa, a ‘natural’ herbal drink designed to give men a boost in the bedroom, has been found to contain vardenafil, a prescription-only substance that goes by the brand name Levitra. Possible side effects include headaches, nausea, and priapism, a long-lasting and painful erection that can last hours. The substance is especially dangerous for men with cardiovascular problems. The distributor is blaming its overseas supplier for using an ‘undeclared ingredient’ in the concoction. (They should have known when it was first marketed as ‘7-Up’.)
BS AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS:
• Tuberculosis can be passed from cats to their owners.
• If you eat a polar bear liver, you will die. Humans can’t handle that much vitamin A.
• Alpacas can die of loneliness. That’s why they always need to be bought in pairs.
• Saudi Arabia now imports camels from Australia.
BS CHRONOMETER 04.23.14
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954  Michael Moore, Flint MI, documentary filmmaker (“Fahrenheit 9/11”, “Bowling For Columbine”)
1976  Aaron & Bryce Dessner, Cincinnati OH, twin brother indie rock musicians/songwriters (The National-“I Need My Girl”, “Bloodbuzz Ohio”)
1977  John Cena, West Newbury MA, pro wrestler (19 WWE championships)/sometime movie actor (“Legendary”, “12 Rounds”)
1977  John Oliver, Birmingham UK, TV personality (“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver”, beginning April 27th on HBO, “The Daily Show” 2006-13)/TV actor (‘Professor Ian Duncan’ on “Community” 2014, 2009-11)
1977  Kal Penn (Modi), Montclair NJ, movie actor (“Harold & Kumar” films)/former TV actor (“House MD”)/former White House aide (Associate Director of the Office Of Public Liaison)
1985  Taio Cruz, London UK, pop/hip hop singer-songwriter (“Dynamite”, “Break Your Heart”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Administrative Professionals Day” (“Secretaries Day” in ancient times), the 62nd annual observance saluting those dedicated souls in the office who do the work in the trenches.
• “International Sing Out Day”. If you have some passion for singing and want your talent to be spotted, then do not hold back!
• “Talk Like Shakespeare Day”, observed on the anniversary of the bard’s birth (and death at age 52). Forsooth, ‘tis a pity methinks, if none deign giveth it a shot.
• “World Book & Copyright Day”, declared annually by UNESCO to promote reading and books on the death anniversary of both William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes in 1616.
• “World Laboratory Day”, celebrating the place where great discoveries, inventions, and medical cures are born. (And where mad scientists dwell.)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1896  1st ‘Motion Picture’ shown to the general public (a Vitascope system is used to project a film onto a screen in a demonstration at Koster & Bials Music Hall in NYC)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1988  After spending a record total of 741 consecutive weeks (over 14 years) on the ‘Billboard 200’, Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side Of the Moon” album finally exits the chart
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1964  1st MLB no-hitter pitched for a loss (Cincinnati Reds beat Astros’ pitcher Ken Johnson 1-0 on 2 costly Houston errors)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1969  John Sinclair completes record walk of 215 miles in 48 hours … non-stop!
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day (USA)
[Fri] “Brick Mansions”; “Locke”; “The Other Woman”; “The Quiet Ones” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Stagecoach Country Music Festival begins (Indio CA)
[Fri] New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins (New Orleans LA)
[Fri] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Fri] Hairball Awareness Day
This Week Is … Administrative Professionals Week
This Month Is … Jazz Appreciation Month
BS LIES PARENTS TELL THEIR KIDS:
“We’re almost there!”
“If you keep making that face, it’ll freeze that way.”
“We’ll come back another time.”
“I never would have done that when I was your age.”
“The dog went to live on a farm.”
“You did great!”
“I don’t know where your toy is. You must have lost it.”
“It won’t hurt. I promise!”
“I’m leaving without you!”
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What movie title best describes your sex life? “Fast & Furious”? “Frozen”? “Home Alone”? “Iron Man”?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The most popular day of the week to do THIS is Wednesday.
Answer: Go on a first date.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Speak half as much and people will listen twice as well.