Monday, April 23, 2018 Edition: #6203

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

“The Bull Sheet” is headed off for a late spring break and will not be publishing Monday April 30 through Monday May 7. All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 8.

★ Mike Myers has paid tribute to fellow Austin Powers star Verne Troyer.  Troyer – best known for playing ‘Mini-Me’ in the in the James Bond-spoofing series – died Saturday at age 49. Myers said, “Verne was the consummate professional and a beacon of positivity for those of us who had the honor of working with him…It is a sad day, but I hope he is in a better place. He will be greatly missed.”  Troyer was 49. No  cause of death was announced, but his family wrote that “depression and suicide are very serious issues.”
-CNBC, Independent
★ The Rock was asked to prom by one of his biggest fans, and he surprised her by actually showing up at her high school – or at least his voice did. Dwayne Johnson took over the morning announcements at Katie Kelzenberg’s Minnesota high school, and although he couldn’t be there in person to accept her invitation, he explained: “I can’t make her prom because I will be in production, but as a surprise gift I bought out her local theater this weekend so she can bring 232 of her BFF’s to watch a special screening of “Rampage”.”
★ Smallville actress Allison Mack, best known for playing young Superman’s close friend Chloe, has been charged with sex trafficking for allegedly helping recruit women to be slaves of a man who sold himself as a self-improvement guru. She was arrested by the FBI, and accused in an indictment in a Brooklyn court, of sex trafficking, sex trafficking conspiracy and forced labor conspiracy.
-Cosmopolitan, WNBC
★ Jenna Dewan made her first public appearance since announcing her split from hubby Channing Tatum, and it was for a very good cause. Dewan was honored Friday at the St. Jude Hope & Heritage Gala as their ‘Humanitarian of the Year’ for her contributions to the groundbreaking children’s cancer research hospital in New York. Earlier in the week, she dropped the ‘Tatum’ from her name on Instagram. And at the event, she was honored as simply ‘Jenna Dewan’.
★ An Israeli politician has called for Natalie Portman to be stripped of her citizenship after she pulled out of a prestigious Jewish awards ceremony. Portman was born in Israel, but left for the US with her family when she was four years old. Politician Oren Hazan said it was “complete craziness” that Portman had been selected for the Genesis Prize – known as the “Jewish Nobel prize” – and called her “unworthy of any honor in the State of Israel”.
★ Michael J. Fox recently faced another health hurdle, but he is on the road to recovery. Fox underwent spinal surgery unrelated to his Parkinson’s Disease, according to his spokesperson. According to her, “He is recovering, feeling great, and looking forward to getting back on the golf course this summer.”
★ The late animal activist Steve Irwin will be honored with the 2,635th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Thursday.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Robert Downey Jr., Tom Holland, Zoe Saldana, Paul Bettany, Pom Klementieff, A Perfect Circle
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Sting & Shaggy
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeffrey Wright, Ali Wentworth, Brothers Osborne
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris Evans, Joy Reid, Lily Allen, Sarah Tomek
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Evan Rachel Wood, Pentatonix
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Dana Carvey, Nicolle Wallace
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Tom Sandoval, Christina Hendricks
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Tracy Morgan
• “The Talk” (CBS): Antonio Banderas, Francisco Caceres
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Billy Crudup, Yvonne Strahovski, Dr. Robert Anolik, guest co-host Mark Consuelos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Macaulay Culkin, Constance Wu, Henry Golding
• “The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2018” (CBS): Christina Aguilera joins James Corden for “Carpool Karaoke”; and Anna Faris and Allison Janney (“Mom”), Kunal Nayyar (“The Big Bang Theory”), and Iain Armitage (“Young Sheldon”) join for “Crosswalk the Musical: The Sound of Music.”
• “American Idol” (ABC): The Top 10 is announced
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Washington vs. Columbus. Boston vs. Toronto
• “NBA Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Houston vs. Minnesota, Oklahoma City vs. Utah

• Ariana Grande – made a surprise appearance at Coachella to perform her new single. ‘No Tears Left to Cry’, her first new song since the tragic Manchester terror attack last year, was released on Friday, and she made her way to the music festival later that day in Indio, California, to sing it live.
• Avicii – his ex-girlfriend Emily Goldberg has shared a heartbreaking tribute to the Swedish DJ who died Friday at the age of 28. Avicii, real name Tim Bergling, was found dead in Muscat, Oman. Goldberg shared a series of photos on Instagram with the words: ‘“Come on babe, don’t give up on us. Choose me, and I’ll show you love.’ Those are the lyrics from a song Tim wrote for me. I wish I could have lived up to them.”
• Bruce Springsteen – his handwritten ‘Born to Run’ working manuscript will be auctioned off. The presale estimate for the single sheet of notebook paper with 30 lines of writing is $200,000 to $300,000. Many of the lines on paper are “apparently unpublished and unrecorded”. (30 lines and he only found one word that rhymes with ‘run’…)
• Elton John – Taron Egerton, who was recently seen alongside Elton in “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” , has scored the lead role in the upcoming John biopic “Rocketman”. The project is said to be on the verge of securing studio financing.
• Sting – Shaggy sees him as a ”big brother”. The unlikely duo recently collaborated on their new album ’44/876′ and Shaggy also likens Sting to an older sibling and a ”teacher”. (By the way, Sting’s job when he was known as Gordon Sumner? Teacher.)
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – Their final concert will be a hometown affair. On Friday, they revealed one more date to their “Last of the Street Survivors Farewell Tour”: a Sept. 2 show at EverBank Field in Jacksonville, Fla., the city where the band was formed. Kid Rock and Jason Aldean will open.
• Maddie & Tae – have announced the release of the new single, ‘Friends Don’t’. They Instagrammed an excerpt from the song, which expands on their previous acoustic-based approach by incorporating some more modern and pop-influenced elements.
• Luke Bryan – thinks he knows the key to Gwen Stefani’s love for Blake Shelton. Bryan, who loves to poke fun at his friend Shelton, said that “Every time I meet Gwen, she’s holding her phone way out here. I’m like, ‘That’s it, she can’t see!'” He also says that, “If Blake were smart, he would marry her before she goes to an optometrist.”

The smartest men, the greatest philosophers and the greatest artists have all tried to come up with the answer, but no one knows for sure. Until now, maybe. What is happiness? Since 1938, researchers at Harvard have been working away at the problem through a generation-spanning study of several hundred American men. Short answer: The secret to happiness is…love. The one main factor that predicted happiness in late life better than anything else was the number of so-called “warm relationships” the man had. A few other conclusions:
• Although warm relationships at any point in life were important to happiness, relationships from age 47-on proved to be the best predictors of happiness in the 80s and 90s.
• Men who had warm relationships with their mother in childhood were found to earn an average of $87,000 more per year than others.
• Those who were close to their fathers showed higher satisfaction in late life.
(I’m glad I had a warm relationship with my Mom, or I’d have a negative income!)
(Now, is there a chance that having dozens of short-term ‘warm relationships’ with many people would make me even happier?)
(And apparently for these guys, the other key to happiness is not including women your studies!)

We have truly almost reached a changing of the guard. Not only did Queen Elizabeth II mark her 92nd birthday on Saturday, but it seems the monarch is planning her final curtsy. She has named her intended successor. The Queen issued a formal request for the Commonwealth Heads of Government to appoint her son, Prince Charles, as her successor during an official meeting at Buckingham Palace. Prince Charles is the first in a long list of heirs to the throne, but some royal watchers felt that the Queen might prefer that Prince William ascend to the throne, or that after being first in line so long, that Charles would no longer have an interest in becoming King. The announcement was a long time coming, but before now, Queen Elizabeth had never publicly backed her son as the next Commonwealth leader. And in another indicator that the Queen is making plans for a future beyond her lifespan, she has announced that she has no further plans to be a dog owner. The last of her beloved corgis, 14 year-old Willow, died last week. She had bred the “ankle-biters” for nearly 80 years.
(She DID ask Charles, didn’t she?)
(And of course to her, having 69 year-old Charles take over would represent a “youth movement”)
-PureWow, MacLeans

A doctor says that when it comes to your health, you really shouldn’t be showering every single day. Dr. C Brandon Mitchell, who is George Washington University’s Assistant Professor of Dermatology, says that bathing daily can actually lead to an increase in infections. Too much time in the shower can strip skin of natural oils, disrupting good bacteria that supports the immune system. He suggests that instead of bathing every day, consider paying more attention to washing your hands regularly and cleaning your clothes more often. So go ahead…skip the shower, and snooze for an extra 15 minutes.
(Awesome. Then I’ll be late for work. AND stinky.)
(On the other hand, some of us NEED to shower every day. By popular demand.
(Maybe he wouldn’t still be ‘Assistant Professor of Dermatology’ if had better hygiene!)

➢ They set stretch goals: A big project encourages you to pick up your pace and eliminate all distractions. There is some great magic that occurs when people become riveted by the thought of achieving a stretch goal.
➢ They show consistency: They are the type who if they say, “It will be done,” it will get done. They aren’t the ones who procrastinate only to pull all-nighters later on.
➢ They have knowledge and technical expertise: Few things kill productivity faster than a lack of knowledge or expertise. When you know what you’re doing, you don’t have to sacrifice quality for speed. You can get things done both quickly and well. (Foiled again!)
➢ They drive for results: These are the few people who have a great desire to accomplish results sooner than expected. They’re competitive — they compete not only with their colleagues but also with themselves. They like to set new records for performance and then beat their own best.
➢ They anticipate and solve problems: They are great problem-solvers. They come up with innovative solutions and accomplish work more efficiently. They also tend to anticipate roadblocks and begin working on solutions in advance. (Anticipate problems? In our office, we call those people ‘Debbie-downers’!)
➢ They take initiative: For many people, the hardest part of getting a job done is starting. The most productive people start quickly, and they never wait to be told to begin. They ask for forgiveness, not permission.
➢ They are collaborative: The most productive people are highly collaborative and work well with others. They don’t have to spend a lot of time soothing ruffled feathers, because they don’t ruffle many feathers in the first place. (If I wasn’t collaborative, I’d never get ANYTHING done!)
(And number 8: They don’t waste a lot of time on silly lists to make themselves more productive!)
(There were supposed to be 10 points here, but if I waited until I had 10, I’d NEVER get it done!)


1954 [64] Michael Moore, Flint MI, documentary filmmaker (“Fahrenheit 9/11”, “Bowling For Columbine”)

1960 [58] Valerie Bertinelli, Wilmington DE, TV actress (“Hot in Cleveland” 2010-2015, “One Day at a Time” 1975-1984/ ex-wife to Eddie Van Halen

1977 [41] John Cena, West Newbury MA, pro wrestler (25 WWE championships)/movie actor (“Blockers”, “Trainwreck”) COMING UP… “Bumblebee” 2018

1977 [41] John Oliver, Birmingham UK, TV personality (“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” since 2014, “The Daily Show” 2006-13)/TV actor (“Community” 2009-11, 2014)

1977 [41] Kal Penn (Modi), Montclair NJ, movie actor (“Harold & Kumar” films)/former TV actor (“House MD”)/former White House aide (Associate Director of the Office Of Public Liaison)

1985 [33] Taio Cruz, London UK, pop/hip hop singer-songwriter (‘Dynamite’, ‘Break Your Heart’)

1990 [28] Dev Patel, London England, movie actor (“Slumdog Millionaire”, “Chappie”)

• “Cherry Cheesecake Day”, because you’ve been adhering to that strict diet for too long.

• “Lost Dog Awareness Day”, focusing on the huge number of lost dogs around-the-world and the efforts undertaken by organizations to help reunite pets with owners.

• “Take a Chance Day”. Some things you want won’t happen without a little risk. Today is as good a day as any to take that risk.

• “Talk Like Shakespeare Day”, observed on the anniversary of the bard’s birth (and death at age 52). Forsooth, ’tis a pity methinks, if none deign giveth it a shot.

• “World Book & Copyright Day”, declared annually by UNESCO to promote reading and books on the death anniversary of both William Shakespeare, and Miguel de Cervantes in 1616.

• “World Laboratory Day”, celebrating the place where great discoveries, inventions, and medical cures are born. (And where mad scientists dwell.)

• “English Language Day”, celebrating the date in 1362 when the Chancellor of the United Kingdom opened Parliament with a speech in English for the first time, a landmark in its development as a world language. English is now considered by many to be THE world language, and is often the second language of choice in non-English countries. (Interesting how some of us are convinced all foreigners will understand it if we just speak it loudly enough.)

[Tues] School Bus Drivers’ Day
[Tues] Pigs-in-a-Blanket Day
[Wed] Denim Day
[Wed] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
This Week Is… National Princess Week
This Month Is… National Inventor’s Month

1896 [122] 1st ‘Motion Picture’ shown to the general public (a Vitascope system is used to project a film onto a screen in a demonstration at Koster & Bials Music Hall in NYC)

1988 [30] After spending a record total of 741 consecutive weeks (over 14 years) on the ‘Billboard 200’, Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side Of the Moon” album finally exits the chart

1964 [54] 1st MLB no-hitter pitched for a loss (Cincinnati Reds beat Astros’ pitcher Ken Johnson 1-0 on 2 costly Houston errors)

1985 [33] ‘New Coke’ makes its debut; Coca-Cola’s famous faux-pas when they changed the secret flavor formula


✓ Whether a coin is dropped from a five story building or a 50 story building, it will fall at the same speed.
✓ There are more “ghost towns” in Colorado than active towns.
✓ André 3000 says the word “alright” 14 times in a row in the Outkast song ‘Hey Ya’.
✓ A study found that simply being in the vicinity of its owner is rewarding to a dog, even without treats or social interaction.
✓ People who maintain a good grip and eye contact during a handshake receive higher ratings from potential bosses than those who don’t.
✓ Humans are the sweatiest primates alive.

• Scribble
• Peckish Hippos
• Bono-poly…where the streets have no names
• Clue-less
• Grammar Checkers
• Life…Without Parole
• Dungeons and Drag Queens
• Eye Candyland
• Outbackgammon
• Sorry (Not Sorry)
• (***Caution***) Dic Pictionary

• Need a siren sound for your new hip-hop recording
• You love a man in uniform
• Someone put baby in a corner
• Being arrested and need help
• Overwhelming need to hear ‘Every Breath You Take’
• Really need your mugshot updated
• Meant to call the Fashion Police
• That hooker stole all my meth

What products do you still use that your mother (father) did when you were growing up?

I may be stupid, but that doesn’t mean I’m not smart!

Question: About a quarter of us have purchased this while on vacation. What?
Answer: underwear

Be somebody nobody thought you could be.

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