Tuesday, April 25, 2017        Edition: #5960

Guaranteed 100% ‘Grade A’ Bull!


★Eva Longoria would like the world to know that she is NOT pregnant. The former Desperate Housewives star, 42, took to Snapchat to share a hilarious story to respond to comments after pictures from her Hawaii trip showed her with more rounded tummy. She told her followers: “So, I saw some pictures of myself. Really fat, on a boat. I have to tell you all I did was eat cheese. I ate cheese!” Alongside an image of herself in a bikini, she added: “Everybody’s saying I’m pregnant and I’m not. I was just lactose intolerant apparently. Today no belly…I had to share because my whole family’s calling me, asking me if I’m pregnant. Yes, I looked pregnant. But that was just a ball of cheese in my stomach.”
(Eating cheese for two, perhaps?)
★Anne Hathaway’s days of smoking pot are a thing of the past — or so she claims.  During an appearance on Thursday’s ‘Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen’, Hathaway dished on her smoking habits in honor of 4/20 during a game of “Plead the Fifth.”  When Cohen asked the actress how big of a stoner she was, Hathaway replied, “Not a little one!”
(Does that mean to roll a ‘fat one’ instead?)
★Jersey Shore fans, take a look around and make sure no one is within arm’s length because we’ve got some news that might just make you spontaneously fist pump: The cast is down for an onscreen reunion and have even talked about what it would look like. “We always said that we would take a nice vacation with each other for like 10-14 days. Nothing more because we’d end up killing each other,” says Jennifer “JWoww” Farley. But, she cautions, it couldn’t last for more than 14 days because as she puts it, “I can’t handle a hangover like I did”.
(If this includes “The Situation”, you may have to book the trip to the ‘crowbar motel’, where he might be ‘vacationing.’)
★Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 won’t hit theaters until next month, but Chris Pratt is already teasing big things for his intergalactic band of misfits when they return in next year’s Avengers: Infinity War.  “It’s exactly what the fans want,” he says. “I’ve heard over and over from people, ‘When are the Guardians going to meet up with the Avengers?’  “I was never sure how that would happen or if that would happen, but then they announced it and called us and told us it was happening, and I can tell you, the fans are not going to be disappointed. It’s going to be really freaking cool.”
-Toronto Sun
★Geena Davis was not aware she was making screen history as baseball standout Dottie Hinson in 1992’s ‘A League of Their Own’ with co-stars Tom Hanks, Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell.  When Hanks called out to one of his despondent players, “There’s no crying in baseball,” it didn’t strike Davis as an immortal moment.  She says the cast knew it was funny, but had no idea that it was going to be a classic.  She says it ranks right up there with ‘Hasta la vista, baby.’  A League of Their Own celebrates its 25th anniversary on July 1.
-USA Today
★It’s been a year since Patton Oswalt discovered his wife, Michelle McNamara had died at home in her sleep, and after struggling to come to terms with the trauma of losing her, he has penned a touching tribute on Facebook. ‘It’s awful, but it’s not fatal,’ he wrote, ‘I’m one year into this new life – one I never even imagined, and I can imagine some pretty pessimistic and dark contingencies, some stomach-freezing “what ifs.” But not this one.’
-Daily Mail

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global):  Van Jones, Jules Sylvester
“The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):  John Oliver, Patton Oswalt, James Arthur
“The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global):  John Legend, Kelly Osbourne, Dr. John
“Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):  Caitlyn Jenner, Buzz Bissinger, Nick Frost, Lucius
“Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV):  Amanda Peet, Max Minghella, Kaleo
“Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Hank Azaria, Vir Das
“Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo):  Lea Michele, Andrea Martin
“The View” (ABC/CTV):  Gov. John Kasich, Kelly Osbourne
“Live with Kelly” (ABC/CTV): Caitlyn Jenner, Andrew Zimmern, guest co-host John Leguizamo
“The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Vin Diesel, Jenna Dewan Tatum
“Harry” (NBC/CTV): Jane Seymour, Mack Wilds
“The Real” (FOX): Sherri Shepherd, guest co-host Ta’Rhonda Jones
“The Voice” (NBC/CTV): “Live Top 12 Eliminations”  The top 10 artists are revealed; two artists compete for the Instant Save; G-Eazy performs.

•George Michael – Plans for a tribute concert have been thrown into doubt because his family haven’t approved the show.  The late singer’s friend, Dame Esther Rantzen, had hoped to organise a musical performance in honor of the ‘Careless Whisper’ hitmaker – who was found dead on Christmas Day – in order to raise money for charity, and will meet with his loved ones later this week in order to ask for the go-ahead.
•Drake – Last week, a strange story surfaced that Drake’s LA house was broken into by a woman who stole little more than soft drinks from the Toronto MC’s home. Now Drake’s father has revealed why.  Dennis Graham explained that the house was under renovation, and really, there was nothing there to steal. The woman has been charged and bail is set at $100,000.
(Couldn’t  even find some ‘Bling?’)
•Jennifer Lopez – The world knows her as ‘J-Lo’, but early in her career she had a sexier nickname: ‘La Guitarra’, a spanish word that refers to her guitar-shaped curves.
•Billy Idol – has extended his Las Vegas run.  He has added new shows kicking off October 6 at the House of Blues.  The already scheduled ‘Billy Idol: Forever’ residency kicks off on May 3.
•Thomas Rhett – He and  Kelsea Ballerini will host “CMA Fest 2017,” the three-hour special that brings the annual June event to TV.  Filmed during CMA Music Festival June 8-11, 2016 in Nashville, the special features many country stars who performed during the four days.
•Brad Paisley – says that when When Mick Jagger flies into Nashville to record, the pressure to not blow the opportunity is massive.  Paisley initially asked Jagger if he’d like to write sometime when he opened the show for the Rolling Stones’ stadium show in Nashville during the band’s 2015’s Zip Code Tour.  They wrote and recorded their “Drive of Shame” for Paisley’s just-released ‘Love and War’ album in three days.

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play or Video Cassette if you live in a really backward town:
•”La La Land” (PG-13 Comedy/Drama): Sebastian (Ryan Gosling), a dedicated jazz musician, falls for an aspiring actress (Emma Stone) as they struggle to make ends meet in a city known for crushing hopes and breaking hearts.  (JK Simmons, John Legend) Won 7 Golden Globes, 6 Oscars, Incorrectly announced as Academy Award ‘Best Picture’ winner by Faye Dunaway.
•”Underworld: Blood Wars” (R-rated Action): In this next installment of the blockbuster franchise, Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her. (Theo James, Charles Dance)
•”Mean Dreams” (R-rated Mystery/Suspense) – Casey and Jonas, two teenagers desperate to escape their broken and abusive homes experience the desperation of life on the run and the beauty of first love. (Josh Wiggins, Sophie Nillese, Bill Paxton).  Paxton’s next-to-last movie role filmed before his death on Feb. 25).
•”Detour” (R-rated Drama) – A young law student blindly enters into a pact with a man who offers to kill his stepfather, whom he feels is responsible for the accident that sent his mother into a coma. (Tye Sheridan, Stephen Moyer)

With the sad news of the death of Erin Moran,  we look back on her ‘happier’ times with some ‘Happy Days’ catchphrases and slang that are now an integral part of our pop culture lexicon:

1. SIT ON IT: The show’s most famous catchphrase might be an alteration of ‘sit and spin’ or ‘sit and rotate’.  (Doesn’t sound complete until you complete the phrase with ‘Potsie’!)

2. FONZIE: The nickname for Arthur Fonzarelli was originally supposed to be the Mash, as in Masciarelli, show creator Garry Marshall’s real surname. But it sounded too much like, well, M*A*S*H.

3. EXACTAMUNDO: A Fonzarelli epithet, exactamundo is a blend of exact and the suffix intensifier -amundo, which might come from the Spanish mundo, meaning “world.” Other variations include coolamundo, fabamundo, and dumpamundo.

4. CHUCK CUNNINGHAM SYNDROME:  Joanie and Richie once had an older brother named Chuck. Alas, poor Chuck was dropped after a mere nine episodes, and His sudden departure was never acknowledged or explained.  At least he had a TV catch-phrase named after him: the Chuck Cunningham Syndrome, in which a character disappears from a show with no explanation. (Like in ‘Roseanne’, where one Becky disappeared, and another appeared?)

5. BUCKO:  Richie Cunningham’s go-to insult, bucko is nautical slang that originated in the 1880s and referred to an blustering, bragging sort of fellow. The word comes from buck, applied to antlered male animals.  (Never call The Fonz ‘bucko’!)

6. YOWSAH, YOWSAH, YOWSAH:  Another Richie maxim, ‘yowsah’ signifies general enthusiastic approval while ‘yowsah, yowsah, yowsah signifies’ three times as much. It was originally the catchphrase of 1930s jazz musician Ben Bernie.

7. INSPIRATION POINT: Let’s not forget the gang’s makeout destination, Inspiration Point. There are at least a couple of real-life Inspiration Points, including at Bryce Canyon in Utah and the Inspiration Point Shelter on the Henry Hudson Parkway in New York.

8. NECKING:  A favorite hobby of the show’s teens, the term ‘necking’ seems quintessentially ’50s. However, it actually originated in the early 19th century and meant to hug someone around the neck.  The term was brought to life when Erin Moran’s Joanie said: “Mom, it’s hard to neck with a beak,” when it was suggested that she goto a costume party as Donald Duck.

9. POTSIE: You’re such a Potsie!” Ralph Malph says to Warren “Potsie” Weber when he’s being particularly Potsie-like.  On the show it’s explained that Potsie got his nickname because of his childhood affinity for clay and Play-doh. (Presumably, he gifted his mother a lot of pots?)

10. CHACHI:  Charles “Chachi” Arcola (Scott Baio) was introduced as Fonzie’s younger cousin in the show’s fifth season, and later became Joanie’s love interest.  Baio and Erin Moran starred in the Happy Days spinoff ‘Joanie Loves Chachi’.

11. JUMP THE SHARK: Refers to the episode where a West Coast rival challenges Fonzie to a water skiing duel, which naturally includes some tiger shark-jumping. The Fonz (being the Fonz) beats the Cali Kid, and in the process, gives us a pop culture term for the ages.  Referring to when a ridiculous or over-the-top event marks the decline of a TV series, ‘jump the shark’ was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2006, although it has been in use since at least 1998.
-adapted from MentalFloss.com

By the time April the Giraffe’s live viewing party came to an end on Friday, it had welcomed over 273 million viewers since its start on February 10.  Total time spent watching — and mostly waiting for April to give birth at the Animal Adventure Park in NY: 8 BILLION minutes worldwide. Approximately 1.2 million people were watching when she finally did give birth to her as-yet unnamed calf April 15.  Make no mistake … April made history, because YouTube reports that her channel is the second most live-viewed ever. Only League of Legends eSports channel has more (ask your teenager).
(The big winner here is obviously sponsor ‘Toys ‘R’ Us’)

Beets are a common sweetening ingredient in the juices you’ll find at most health food stores, but a recent study found another reason to drink the bright red juice: It has anti-aging benefits.
a Wake Forest University study carried out among older adults who did not exercise found that nitrate, a substance found in beets that increases blood flow in the body and improves exercise performance. Nitric oxide is a very powerful molecule which goes to the areas of the body that need oxygen, and the brain naturally needs lots of oxygen to operate effectively.  Combining beet juice with exercise was found to deliver more oxygen to the brain, thus creating an environment for strengthening the area of the brain associated with motor activity.  So if these bright red roots aren’t yet part of your diet, it may be time to plug your nose and drink up.
(Great.  More exercise and lots of beet juice.  Now I can live forever and hate every minute of it!)
(**Follow this bit with ‘Red Hands’ by Walk off the Earth?**)


1940 [77] Al Pacino, NYC, movie actor (“Scent Of a Woman”, “The Godfather Part II”)/TV actor (“You Don’t Know Jack”, “Angels in America”)

1964 [53] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/’Chief Wiggum’/’Apu’/’Comic Book Guy’/’Cletus’/’Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [48] Joe Buck, St Petersburg FL, sportscaster (FOX-TV’s lead play-by-play guy)/son of late Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck

1969 [48] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (“Bridget Jones” movies,  “Jerry Maguire”)/briefly Mrs Kenny Chesney (2005)

• “ANZAC Day”, a public holiday in Australia & New Zealand commemorating the 1915 landing at Gallipoli, Turkey by the Australian & New Zealand Army Corps during World War I. The holiday salutes their incredible bravery in the face of overwhelming odds.

• “Plumbers Day”, OK, let’s all do the plumbers’ salute … drop your pants 2 inches!

•“DNA Day”, The day celebrates the discovery and understanding of DNA and the scientific advances that understanding has made possible.  (Which I don’t understand at all…)

• “Red Hat Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘Red Hat Society’, begun in 1997 as a social organization for women over 50 and to reshape the way they’re viewed. There are now millions of mature women who attend various ‘RHS’ events worldwide.
NET: http://www.redhatsociety.com

• “Telephone Day”, call someone and wish them “Happy Telephone Day”.  They’ll probably hang up on you.

• “Mani-Pedi Day”, an annual celebration of clip joints.

• “World Penguin Day”, marking the annual northward migration of penguins which happens each year on or around this day. Penguins do not fly. Rather, they walk or waddle their way.
(Go, Sidney Crosby, go!)

•“Zucchini Bread Day”,  Native North Americans referred to zucchini as “something eaten raw.” However, we all know that zucchini tastes best cooked, especially in bread.

[Wed] Help a Horse Day
[Wed] Kids and Pets Day
[Thurs] Babe Ruth Day
[Thurs] Tell a Story Day
This Week Is…Medical Fitness Week
This Month Is…Canine Fitness Month

2009 [08] TV actress Bea Arthur (“Maude”, “The Golden Girls”) dies in Los Angeles at age 86

2009 [08] TV personality Spencer Pratt (28) weds media personality and singer Heidi Montag (25) in Pasadena, CA (And ‘Speidi’ is born…)

2002 [15] Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes of girl group TLC (“Waterfalls”) dies in a car accident in La Ceiba, Honduras at age 30

2009 [07] Rascal Flatts’ 6th studio album, “Unstoppable”, hits #1

2014 [02] Spotify removes, “Sleepify”, an album of total silence by funk band Vulfpeck from its streaming site (the band had encouraged fans to stream it on repeat overnight to generate money for a no-admission tour).


•The meat loaf comes with a chainsaw.
•You cut your hand on the Jell-O.
•You eat something that’s actually pretty good, then realize it’s the paper plate.
•No one minded the school power outage because they didn’t have to see what they were eating.
•Even the teachers have food fights.
•Your hamburger has a tail.
•The sponge cake is made of actual sponge.
•Before you eat, you are required to sign a paper promising not to sue.
•By comparison, the turtle in the Kindergarten class is looking pretty tasty.

☎What do you do to get rid of stress?

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

Question: 28% of guys ruin a first date by doing this. What is it?
Answer: Not opening the car door for their date

Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.

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