Wednesday, April 25, 2018 Edition: #6205

Guaranteed 100% ‘Grade A’ Bull!

 

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” is headed off for a late spring break and will not be publishing Monday April 30 through Monday May 7. All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 8.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ As of Monday morning, Prince George and Princess Charlotte have a brand new baby brother, which is very exciting news for all those who are royally obsessed or those who just like cute kids. Despite this new addition, Princess Charlotte still makes history by keeping her spot in line for the throne. The Succession to the Crown Act of 2013 ensured that Charlotte wouldn’t have to give up her place in the line of succession. Before 2011, any girl who was in line to the throne would lose her place if a male sibling came after her. At 8 pounds, 7 ounces, the newest boy is reported to be the largest royal baby in over 100 years.
-Cosmopolitan
★Two months after suffering a massive “widow-maker” heart attack, Kevin Smith is opening up about his health scare. He reports that the emergency room doctor told him later on that he was “Talking the whole operation”. The doctor said later on: “You’re very chatty. You wanted to know everything. You were singing a song — ‘Degrassi’.” Smith has appeared on several episodes of “Degrassi: The Next Generation” as his trademark “Silent Bob” character. Smith, who has already lost weight since his heart attack, is now embracing a healthier lifestyle. On Monday, he revealed he’s joining DJ Khaled and Oprah Winfrey as the latest celebrity ambassador for Weight Watchers.
-MSN
★ Macaulay Culkin appeared on Monday’s episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” for a rare interview where he opened up about the success of his “Home Alone” movies and the insane fan response he still gets after starring in the ’90s holiday classics. At that time of year, Culkin says “I definitely don’t [go out]. It’s my season. It’s Macaulay season. I try to go out less and less around that time of year.” He notes that fans always want him to clap his hands to his face and pretend to scream on the street.
-Yahoo
★ Tracy Morgan‘s mouth gets him in trouble sometimes. Morgan said on “The View” that he talked so much at dinner with Morgan Freeman that the legendary actor slapped him. When the two Morgans met up for dinner, Tracy Morgan says that he was so excited, that he was “talking a mile a minute,” and 80 year-old Morgan Freeman slapped him across the face to slow him down. Tracy says that “When Morgan Freeman do this to you, that’s love.”
-PageSix
★ Dancing With the Stars pro Kym Johnson has delivered her twins. Kym posted a snap to her Instagram showing husband Robert Herjavec with two bundles of joy in his arms.  The dancer married the Canadian businessman in 2016 after they fell in love while partnering on the ABC reality competition in 2015. The couple welcomed a boy and a girl.
-DailyMail

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Chris Hemsworth, Chadwick Boseman, Karen Gillan, Sebastian Stan, Josh Brolin, Middle Kids
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Serena Williams, Priyanka Chopra, David Blaine
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Lucy Liu, Henry Winkler, Run the Jewels
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jimmy Fallon, Patton Oswalt, Kylie Minogue, Sarah Tomek
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Mark Ruffalo, Mackenzie Davis, Chelsea Clinton
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jim Jefferies, Chris Gethard, Joe Machi
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Carole Radziwill, Ali Wentworth
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sting & Shaggy, Dr. Whitney Bowe
• “The Talk” (CBS): Marcia Gay Harden, Terri, Bindi & Robert Irwin, Ellen K
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hank Azaria, Ali Wentworth, Dr. Melina Jampolis
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Danai Gurira
• “Code Black” (CBS): Season 3 premiere
• “Survivor: Ghost Island” (CBS): A determined castaway goes on a mission to break up a power alliance.
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS):  Toronto vs. Boston
• “NBA Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Washington vs. Toronto, Indiana vs. Cleveland, Minnesota vs. Houston, Utah vs. Oklahoma City

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Nicki Minaj – will debut a brand new song on the season finale of ‘Saturday Night Live’ next month. The show will be hosted by Tina Fey on May 19.
• Rihanna – her upcoming lingerie line is called ‘Savage X Fenty’ and she teased it on Instagram with a few seductive videos over the past few weeks. No release date yet.
• Blink-182 – are in the studio working on new music. Singer-and-bassist Mark Hoppus and drummer Travis Barker have both shared photos on Snapchat reporting they are making progress on the new material.
• Madonna – A judge has refused to block the sale of an old jailhouse letter to her from Tupac Shakur. Madonna had filed suit against Darlene Lutz, her old friend and art consultant, saying a release she signed in 2004 means she couldn’t sue over the sale of the letter. It will be auctioned in July.
• Prince – his estate has launched “an immersive annotated discography website”. It features audio previews, photos, videos, quotes and editorial commentary, including dozens of albums, videos and more. Word is that a collectors’ book with unreleased lyrics and photos is on the way as well. https://www.princeestate.com/
• David Foster – the producer, composer and former stepfather to Gigi and Bella Hadid says that he hasn’t seen the inside of an elevator in more than 30 years because he’s afraid of hearing his own music. That music has won him 16 Grammys.
• John Lennon – A sketch drawn by Lennon depicting himself as Adolf Hitler is being offered for sale for $54,000. It is thought to have been created in the late ‘50s when Lennon was attending art college. It shows the future Beatle making a Nazi salute from a balcony while an unseen audience below shout “Hail John!”
• Deep Purple and Judas Priest – have announced a co-headlining North American tour. The 25-date trek launches August 21st in Cincinnati, OH and concludes September 30th in Wheatland, California.
• Jason Aldean – Cardi B may hold the #1 spot on the Canadian album chart, but his ‘Rearview Town’ debuted at #2 and is actually the country’s top-seller. Cardi is at #1 due to streaming. Aldean tops the Billboard album chart.
• Shania Twain – will host the 36th Canadian Country Music Association (CCMA) Awards on Sept. 9 in Hamilton. The five-time Grammy and 24-time CCMA Award winner will also be accepting ‘The Generation Award’ at the show, for her impact on the country music industry. Taylor Swift is the only previous recipient (2012).

TURNING THE TABLES ON BREAKFAST:
The first record to be made out of cereal officially hit playlists, bowls…and tastebuds this week when Kellogg’s released ‘Hello’ by the Simon Cowell-backed boy band PRETTYMUCH. The tune is available on a vinyl-inspired record that features a core of Chocolate Frosted Flakes, topped with layers of milk and dark chocolate. The discs are pressed in a 3D-printed mold to create playable grooves, and the limited-edition record features a silhouette of Tony the Tiger, to showcase the crunchy, chocolatey goodness that is Chocolate Frosted Flakes. And yes, the cereal record is playable on a regular turntable, and when the kids get sick of the song, they can make themselves sick on sugar by eating the record. Fans who registered with PRETTYMUCH in advance were the first to receive the record. As of Monday, all fans can pick up the Chocolate Frosted Flakes record for free at Kellogg’s NYC café, while supplies last.
(The first record to be made out of cereal? Well, certainly the first on record!)
(I guess you can’t call them a bubble gum act!)
(Should we explain what a record is to these kids, or just let them bounce off the walls?)
-ThatEricAlper

WAITING FOR A LIFT:
Have you ever noticed that most elevators have a mirror nearby? You will now. But why are there often mirrors in the vicinity of elevator doors? Because waiting stinks. And people like to have something to do while they wait for the doors to open. Yes, hotel lobbies have been fooling you into patiently waiting for years. The idea first surfaced during the post-World War II boom, when the spread of high-rises led to complaints about elevator delays. The rationale behind the mirrors: give people something to occupy their time, and the wait will feel shorter. With mirrors, people could check their hair or slyly check out the other people with whom they were about to share a ride. And it worked: almost overnight, the complaints ceased.
(Obviously before smartphones were invented.)
(Now we don’t complain until we get IN the elevator and the guy in the corner fires off an SBD…)
(I can think of better ways to kill time than by looking at myself…)
-Curiosity

IT’S SO SAD WHEN SOMEONE LOSES THEIR SUN:
Yes, the Sun is the only star in our solar system, but that may not have always been the case. Scientists at UC Berkeley and Harvard University say they’ve found proof that most stars form in pairs or even as triplets. But twin or triplet stars don’t always stay together for their whole existence. In our solar system, this means what some call the twin of the sun, known as ‘Nemesis’, could really have existed. The researchers think if it did exist, Nemesis “escaped” long ago and is somewhere else in the Milky Way.
(I cannot imagine how burnt I would get trying to cut my grass if there were two up there…)
(It would kinda take some of the magic out of an eclipse, wouldn’t it?)
(If we had two, would that mean we’d be wearing ‘sunsglasses’?)
-Curiosity

ROYAL PROTOCOL:
The May 19 nuptials of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be a lower key affair than those of Will and Kate, but guests at St. George’s Chapel will still be expected to follow church and royal protocol. Here are some guidelines, according to some British etiquette pros:
➠ HEMS AND SHOULDERS: Dresses that are mostly black or mostly white are no-nos. And women’s shoulders should be covered. Hemlines shouldn’t be shorter than the longest finger when arms are held at the side, and no longer than mid-calf. No cleavage. (And this is why they couldn’t invite Fergie!)
➠ HATS: Although royal weddings can seem like a hat free-for-all, bigger isn’t always better. No huge brims. Nothing too high. (It’s not the Kentucky Derby!)
➠ SHOES: Forget open toes and wedges. Slingbacks are also considered too informal. Four-inch heels would be the maximum, and consider that the walk into the church is over cobblestones. Stilettos? Forget about it. (And Crocs without Jibbitz? Just go home.)
➠ HANDBAGS: They should be small. It’s tight seating in St. George’s Chapel, and there is no place to put large bags. Clutches or other handbags that fit easily on laps are good. (There goes your chance to sneak a bottle in!)
➠ OH YEAH…THE MEN: Most will be in morning suits. They have coattails and they often come in grey, navy and black. There’s also a waistcoat, like a vest, and a regular tie.
(So even at this level, the guys can still pull the suit out of the closet 15 minutes before they leave home.)
(Going by this, it appears it will be a Kardashian-free affair?)
(Off with their headdresses!)
-CP

BS CHRONOMETER 04.25.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [78] Al Pacino, NYC, movie actor (“Scent Of a Woman”, “The Godfather Part II”)/TV actor (“You Don’t Know Jack”, “Angels in America”) COMING UP… “The Irishman” 2019

1944 [74] Len Goodman, Bromley England, TV show host (“Dancing with the Stars” judge since 2005)

1964 [54] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/‘Chief Wiggum’/‘Apu’/‘Comic Book Guy’/‘Cletus’/‘Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [49] Joe Buck, St Petersburg FL, sportscaster (FOX-TV’s lead play-by-play guy for MLB and NFL)/son of late Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck

1969 [49] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (“Bridget Jones” movies, “Jerry Maguire”) COMING UP…”Judy” TBA

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Anzac Day”, a public holiday and national day of remembrance in Australia and New Zealand that commemorates all Australians and New Zealanders “who served and died in all wars, conflicts, and peacekeeping operations” and “the contribution and suffering of all those who have served”. Anzac Day was originally devised to honor the members of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) who fought at Gallipoli against the Ottoman Empire during World War I.

• “Golf Day”, It’s time to pull those clubs out of storage, dust them off, and get ready to hit the green again! (Is it too late to book a tee-time? Or too early??)

• “Plumbers Day”, OK, let’s all do the plumbers’ salute … drop your pants 2 inches!

• “DNA Day”, celebrating the discovery and understanding of DNA and the scientific advances that understanding has made possible. (Which I don’t understand at all…)

• “Red Hat Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘Red Hat Society’, begun in 1997 as a social organization for women over 50 and to reshape the way they’re viewed. There are now millions of mature women who attend various ‘RHS’ events worldwide.
NET: http://www.redhatsociety.com

• “Telephone Day”, call someone and wish them “Happy Telephone Day”. They’ll probably hang up on you.

• “Mani-Pedi Day”, an annual celebration of clip joints.

• “World Penguin Day”, marking the annual northward migration of penguins which happens each year on or around this day. Penguins do not fly. They walk. More of a waddle, actually. (Go, Sidney Crosby, go!)

• “Denim Day”, wear jeans with a purpose, support survivors, and educate yourself and others about sexual assault. NET: http://denimdayinfo.org/

• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, be nice to your hairstylist because there’s nothing stopping her/him from plucking one of your hairs and putting it at a crime scene!

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Get Organized Day
[Thurs] Hug a Friend Day
[Fri] Babe Ruth Day
[Fri] Morse Code Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [09] TV actress Bea Arthur (“Maude”, “The Golden Girls”) dies in Los Angeles at age 86

2009 [09] TV personality Spencer Pratt weds media personality and singer Heidi Montag in Pasadena, CA (And ‘Speidi’ is born…)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [16] Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes of girl group TLC (‘Waterfalls’) dies in a car accident in La Ceiba, Honduras at age 30

2009 [08] Rascal Flatts’ 6th studio album, “Unstoppable”, hits #1

2014 [04] Spotify removes “Sleepify”, an album of total silence by funk band Vulfpeck from its streaming site (the band had encouraged fans to stream it on repeat overnight to generate money for a no-admission tour)

BULL’S BITS:

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ There are more life forms living on your skin than there are people on the planet.
✓ Human life expectancy has increased more in the last 50 years than in the previous 200,000 years of human existence
✓ An average person produces about 25,000 quarts of saliva in a lifetime, enough to fill two swimming pools.
✓ The average person in the U.S. eats 35 tons of food in their lifetime.
✓ The average human will yawn around 250,000 times over the course of his life.
✓ The average person spends 3 months of their lifetime sitting on the toilet.
-Factslides

BS NEVER ASK AN ANGRY WOMAN:
• To calm down.
• “You mad?”
• “What’s for dinner?”
• If it’s your fault. It’s definitely your fault.
• To hold your knife.
• If anything is wrong.
• Why she is just like her mother.
• If you can hang out with the guys tonight.
• If she isn’t overreacting just a bit.
• Anything. Anything at all. Just quietly back away.
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the all-time best driving song, the one that makes you crank it up and lower the windows?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The world tongue-twister champion has been arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Over 60% of couples say they have argued about THIS in the kitchen. What??
Answer: To rinse or not to rinse dishes going in dishwasher

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Experience fails to teach where there is no desire to learn.