Thursday, April 28, 2016        Edition: #5719

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ A Tim Burton-themed bar is about to open in NYC featuring nods to several of the filmmaker’s movies, such as “Beetlejuice” and “Edward Scissorhands”. The East Village watering hole is being dubbed ‘Beetle House’. It features movie-themed cocktails in an “odd and unusual” environment much like the films. The food menu includes ‘Edward Burger Hands’, ‘Sweeney Beef’, ‘Beetle House Fish Bowl’, and ‘Warm Wonka Bar Chocolate Cake’. A sign in the establishment reads: “All meat sourced locally from 100% innocent humans captured wild on the streets of NYC.” (It’s unclear if shouting out the spirit’s name will make your bartender appear.)
– “Time Out NY”
★ Former football star Johnny Manziel wouldn’t let a domestic violence charge keep him from partying with Justin Bieber this week. After catching a flight to Cleveland to see Bieber’s “Purpose” world tour stop at the Quicken Loans Center, the ex-Browns QB was spotted  hanging with Cleveland cornerback Joe Haden. Manziel and his old pal Biebs even posed for a pic together. The whole thing is tad bizarre considering a jury had just indicted Manziel for assault earlier the same day, stemming from an alleged violent attack on his ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley. Manziel has denied any wrongdoing and clearly, he’s not concerned at all.
★ And a man is claiming he’s been punched in the face … for looking like Shia LaBeouf. The 26-year-old victim says he was sucker-punched over the weekend on NYC’s Lower East Side as he was getting off a train. The unidentified assailant explained his reasoning: “This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!” The lookalike was knocked unconscious and when he came to his face was covered in blood and his glasses were broken in half. He was eventually attended to by EMTs and police also arrived on the scene to take a statement. (Who else would it be dangerous to resemble? Kanye? Russell Crowe? Mariah Carey?)
– “The Gothamist”

• “The Eighties” (CNN) – The documentary series airs an episode titled “Video Killed the Radio Star”, about the music of the ’80s. It focuses on the rise of music videos; the dawning of the digital revolution; and the artists who were dominating the charts, such as Madonna, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and, of course, Prince.
• Hot Docs (Toronto ON) – This year the annual international documentary festival features 232 entries, including films featuring musicians David Byrne, Nelly Furtado, Shad, and Grandmaster Flash, and comedians Mel Brooks and Sarah Silverman. The festival reels through May 8th.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Nick Jonas f/Tove Lo perform “Close” (“Last Year Was Complicated”, out June 10th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Soft Moon (“Deeper”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Joss Stone (“Water For Your Soul”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Iggy Azalea (“Digital Distortion”, coming in June).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Fat Joe & Remy Ma (“All the Way Up”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Rae Sremmurd (“SremmLife 2”, out June 24th).

• Fetty Wap – The rapper is getting his own mobile racing app called “Fetty Wap: Nitro Nation Stories”. The game includes head-to-head street races where the objective is to beat out one’s opponent using gear changes, lane shifts, and nitro boosts. It’s set for release as a free download at the Apple and Google Play stores on May 3rd.
• Iggy Azalea – She’s accused Beyoncé of using ‘racist’ hip hop slang in her new song “Sorry”, whose lyrics mention ‘Becky with the good hair’. The name ‘Becky’ is apparently a term used to describe a generic white girl. Iggy claims it’s a racial slur, but has concluded a series of tweets by insisting she’s still a big fan of Bey’s new album “Lemonade”.
• Kesha – She’s reportedly joined EDM star Zedd in a recording studio, taking advantage of his offer to work with her on new material while she remains embroiled in a legal battle with mentor and producer Dr Luke. She joined Zedd onstage at the Coachella festival in California on April 16th.
• Rita Ora – After Beyoncé fans were quick to blame her, she’s issued a personal denial on Twitter that she’s the woman with whom Jay Z had an affair as hinted on Bey’s new album “Lemonade”. The so-called ‘Beyhive’ has been trying to chase down just who ‘Becky with the good hair’ might be.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Beautiful & The Dammed” – Scarlett Johansson is reportedly set to play original flapper Zelda Fitzgerald in this upcoming romantic drama. Zelda was known for her tempestuous relationship with author-husband F Scott Fitzgerald, who wrote the semi-autobiographical novel on which this film is based. So far the project remains in the development stage.
• “Chappaquiddick” – “Zero Dark Thirty” star Jason Clarke has been cast as politician Ted Kennedy in this story of the late US senator’s 1969 car accident in which he drove his car off a bridge into a pond. His passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne, drowned. Kennedy’s failure to report the incident for several hours prompted an investigation. Filming begins this Summer.
• “Cruella”  – Emma Stone (“The Amazing Spider-Man 2”) has been confirmed as the villain ‘Cruella de Vil’ for this upcoming live-action Disney spinoff of its “101 Dalmatians” series (1996, 2003). After circling the project for months, she’s finally committed to the starring role this week. Neither a filming schedule nor a release date has yet been announced.
• “Jumanji” – Dwayne Johnson has confirmed that a remake is happening. The actor will help produce it through his own production company. The story follows 2 kids who find a magical board game that unleashes a host of dangers that can only be stopped by finishing the game. The original 1996 film starred Robin Williams & Kirsten Dunst. The reboot is due in 2017.
• “Mary Magdalene” – Rooney Mara has already signed on to star in this biblical drama, and Joaquin Phoenix is currently in talks to play Jesus. Director Garth Davis is promising an “authentic and humanistic portrait” of one of the most enigmatic and misunderstood spiritual figures in history. The film is due to hit the bigscreen in 2017.

Researchers say ‘deal-breakers’ are for real when it comes to dating. A series of studies in the “Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin” say that non-negotiables (ie: chewing gum too loudly, using too many emoji, not liking Beyoncé) really do outweigh good qualities in a potential mate. So if you can’t stand stinky feet, and you gag when your date removes their shoes, it doesn’t matter if he has Ryan Gosling’s abs, or if she has J-Law’s smile … it’s a non-starter. The researchers have also discovered that women usually have more deal-breakers than men do, and that they have a lower tolerance for dates who don’t meet their standards. (Deal-breakers are the traits that make the ‘Liz Lemon’ voice in your head cry out, “Shut it down.”)

Millennials now outnumber Baby Boomers. And that could mean big changes. For decades, Boomers have been the most powerful generation, driving everything from culture to the economy. But according to Pew Research, Millennials (born 1981 to 1997) have officially overtaken Baby Boomers (born 1946 to 1964) this month to become the biggest generation. Millennials, already the largest workforce, could soon start having an even bigger impact both politically and economically. The Boomer generation had at its peak in 1999 and has been subsiding since due to its oldest members dying off. Meanwhile, the flannel-clad grunge-heads of Generation X aren’t projected to surpass the Baby Boomer population for another dozen years. (Whatever happened to ‘Generation Y’? They’ve defected to the Millennial camp?)
– CBS News

The German city of Augsburg has decided to take action to prevent distracted pedestrians glued to their cellphones from being run down by cars and electric trams (as has happened 3 times in the area lately). Noting that a normal traffic light isn’t in the line of sight of many pedestrians these days, the municipality has installed signal lights in the ground to catch the attention of those looking down at their phones. The ground lights began operating at 2 tram stops last week, rapidly blinking red whenever pedestrians don’t have the right of way. There are plans to install many more. While Germany is the home of the popular word ‘smombie’, meaning ‘smartphone zombie’, the phenomenon is clearly a global problem. (Easily solved by everyone looking up. Get you eyes off the screen and check out your surroundings!)
– “The Local”

Finally, garlic that doesn’t destroy your breath! A pair of Italian entrepreneurs hope to bring back a once-popular Tuscan staple known as aglione (‘big garlic’). It hasn’t been readily available for some 4 decades so the partners have spent 3 years cultivating it, hoping to hawk it to high-end food markets. Just one bulb of the so-called ‘kissing garlic’ weighs from 10-to-28 ounces, about 10 times normal garlic. But it doesn’t stink, it tastes sweeter, and it won’t cause indigestion. What makes it more palatable to the nose, mouth, and stomach is its lack of the chemical compound allicin, which is produced when regular garlic is chopped or crushed. (Perfect for people who love pasta … and making out.)
– “The Guardian”

If you want to keep bedbugs from biting, one possible deterrent may come in the form of home decorating. That’s because bedbugs, as researchers at the University of Florida have found, seem to have strong color preferences. The bloodsucking pests far prefer red and black to yellow, green, or white. That matches up to previous research showing that sand flies with nocturnal feeding behaviors similar to bedbugs are attracted to red wavelengths; and pesky mosquitoes are most enticed by red and black clothing. The findings are still new and researchers caution that the study has only looked at the behavior of bedbugs in a petri dish. For now, it remains unclear just why they gravitate toward certain colors. (Just to be safe, we’re tossing those old red & black Hot Topic bed sheets.)

Victoria’s Secret ‘Bombshell’ perfume is almost as good at repelling mosquitoes as commercial insect sprays containing Deet.
– “The Daily Beast”


1950 [66] Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, retired late-night TV host (“Tonight Show” 1992-2014)

1971 [45] Bridget Moynahan, TV actress (‘Erin Reagan-Boyle’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010)/movie actress (“John Wick”)/NFL QB Tom Brady’s baby mama (2007)

1974 [42] Penélope Cruz (Sanchez), Madrid, Spain, movie actress (“Zoolander 2”, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)

1981 [35] Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, movie actress (“Machete Kills”, “Fantastic Four”)/consumer goods entrepreneur (The Honest Company)

• “Biological Clock Day”, saluting our internal biological clock or Circadian Rhythm, which helps our bodies adapt to the daily cycle of day and night as the Earth rotates. (Unless you get up at 4 am to do a morning show.)

• “International Workers Memorial Day”, a worldwide day of remembrance and action for workers killed, disabled, injured, or made unwell by their work.

• “Kiss Your Mate Day”, a day to share the pleasure of a kiss when he or she least expects it.

• “Poetry Reading Day”, a day to ‘read some great poetry, the world better to see.’ (“There once was a girl from St John’s …”)

• “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”, observed annually on the 4th Thursday of April in America, when parents are encouraged to bring 8-to-18 year-old offspring to the workplace to gain firsthand experience of life in the work world.

2012 [04] ‘Scotty’ is ‘beamed up’ as ashes of late actor James Doohan, who played engineer ‘Montgomery Scott’ on “Star Trek”, are launched into space aboard a SpaceX rocket

2001 [15] US millionaire Dennis Tito becomes ‘1st Space Tourist’, paying $12 million-plus to spend 8 days aboard a Russian Soyuz mission carrying supplies to International Space Station

2014 [02] Dubai International surpasses London Heathrow as the ‘World’s Busiest International Airport’, based on activity over the 1st quarter of the year

[Fri] Beale Street Music Festival begins (Memphis TN)
[Fri] “Keanu”; “Mother’s Day”; “Ratchet & Clank” open in movie theaters
[Sat] iHeart Country Festival (Austin TX)
[Sat] Adopt a Shelter Pet Day
[Sat] World Tai Chi Day
This Week Is … Air Quality Awareness Week
This Month Is … Multiple Birth Awareness Month


Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Don’t be so sensitive. Sometimes when people say “big, fat, flaming a-hole”, they really just mean “fat a-hole.”
• Taurus – Jupiter is in your Sun sign this week, making it pretty crowded in there, what with Jupiter being the largest of the planets and all.
• Gemini – When you were a child, you spoke as a child, you understood as a child, and you thought as a child. So …. no real changes then.
• Cancer – Just when it seems that all hope is gone, you’ll discover a deep untapped reservoir of hope deep within you … which will soon be gone as well.
• Leo – You will make medical history this week as the first person to recover from smallpox … only to die from a never-before-seen strain of enormous-pox.
• Virgo – The flame of true love will finally gutter and die in your soul, but take heart: the flame of too many videogame systems plugged into a single outlet is burning bright in your den.
• Libra – Your natural resourcefulness allows you to enjoy father-daughter day at the zoo, though you are neither a father nor a daughter … and you can’t stand animals.
• Scorpio – Your lifelong search for your soul-mate comes to an end at last when you discover it was Robert Kearns, inventor of the intermittent windshield wiper, who died in 2005.
• Sagittarius – You thought true love would last forever but you’re shocked to discover an expiration date printed on the back, just below the consumer warnings.
• Capricorn – Financial reward could be in your future as Gemini is offering a limited-time special of zero-percent interest on all balances transferred from other Zodiac signs.
• Aquarius – You will fall victim to a dangerous personality disorder that makes you believe that the personal lives of celebrities are interesting and somehow important.
• Pisces – Next week will be a time of great financial and emotional rewards. It’s too bad you won’t be there to see it.
– Adapted from

Which is the largest French-speaking city in the world?
a. Montréal
b. Paris
c. Kinshasa [CORRECT. Based on the city proper, the capital of the Democratic Republic of the Congo is actually the largest.]

☎ Are zoos just internment camps for animals that should be shut down?

Lord, save me from your followers.

Question: 6:30 pm is the most popular time to do THIS.
Answer: Drink wine.

You have to take the bad with the worst.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “BS”!

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