BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Chelsea Handler is close to landing a deal with Netflix. The 39-year-old host of E!’s late-night “Chelsea Lately” has already announced she’s moving on when her current contract ends. Now she’s in negotiations with the subscription streaming service to front a new show, though it’s unclear exactly what the new venture will entail. One insider claims she already has a deal with Netflix, but the format is not yet decided.
– ContactMusic.com
★ An official, standalone “Justice League” movie has been confirmed. It will follow 2016’s much anticipated battle between ‘Batman’ and ‘Superman’ in what may be titled either “Man of Steel 2” or “Batman v Superman”. Director Zack Snyder (“Man of Steel”, “300”) will pilot the new project, intended to boost Warner Bros stature in the superhero genre. Marvel’s dominance of the field has been formidable, with “The Avengers” among the all-time box office champs.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ And Kanye West is reportedly planning to release a spoken word album. Reports say the 3-hour recording (?!?!?) will be available on vinyl and feature Kanye’s views on everything from the environment to life with fiancée Kim Kardashian and their 10-month-old daughter North. An inside source says (rightly) that “‘Kanye loves the sound of his own voice and this will be the ultimate in self-indulgence.”
– Gossipler.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Hurray For the Riff Raff (“Small Town Heroes”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Semi Precious Weapons (“Aviation”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Ziggy Marley (“Fly Rasta”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Keith Urban (“Fuse”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Daley (“Days & Nights”); David Byrne (“Here Lies Love”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Competitors face elimination.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She helped write the Kelly Clarkson song “Breakaway”. It was meant to go on Avril’s 1st album, the one with “Sk8er Boi” and “Complicated”, but it didn’t fit with her image.
• The Bangles – Their 1986 hit “Manic Monday” was written by Prince, using the pseudonym ‘Christopher’.
• Damon Albarn – Today the Blur frontman releases the new solo album “Everyday Robots”. He says he’ll spend the rest of 2014 promoting the project as well as perhaps working on a movie soundtrack.
• Demi Lovato – She’s revealed on Twitter that her weekend show in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil was interrupted by a female fan who jumped onstage and … bit one of the security guards.
• Ed Sheeran – Yesterday in Melbourne, Australia he played 3 gigs in a single day. First, an intimate show in a fan’s home for 7 people & 1 dog; then a midday gig in a rock bar for 200 radio contest winners; and finally a full-blown concert at Melbourne’s Ormond Hall.
• Katy Perry – Seems she may have rebounded after her split from John Mayer with 35-year-old DJ/producer Diplo (real name Thomas Pentz). They were first spotted together at Coachella, then again in NYC having dinner. Diplo was previously in a long-term relationship with MIA.
• Lady Gaga – On Twitter she’s introduced her new French Bulldog, which she refers to as a ‘Batpig’ … part bat, part pig. In an Instagram video follow-up she’s announced her new pet’s actual name, ‘Asia’.
• Pixies – Today their 1st full studio album since 1991’s “Trompe le Monde” is out, entitled “Indie Cindy”. The album includes the previously released track “Bagboy”, plus material from the releases “EP-1”, “EP-2”, and “EP-3”.
• The Who – Online bidding ends today on the Grammy Award they were presented in 2001 for ‘Career Achievement’. The reserve bid by California auction house Nate D Sanders is $17,500. So far, no takers.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/msawx6w

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Devil’s Due” ( R-Rated Horror ): A husband begins to notice odd behavior from his pregnant wife that he initially writes off to nerves, but it eventually becomes evident that the dark changes to her body and mind have a much more sinister origin. Stars Allison Miller, Zach Gilford. This is the movie that used a mechanical baby to frighten people on the street as a promotional stunt.
• “Labor Day” ( PG-13 Drama ): Filmmaker Jason Reitman’s latest stars Kate Winslet & Josh Brolin as a depressed single mom and a desperate man she offers a ride, who turns out to be an escaped convict on the run from police. Co-stars Gattlin Griffith, Tobey Maguire. Adapted from the Joyce Maynard novel.
• “The Legend of Hercules” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Kellan Lutz stars in an adaptation of the original story of the mythical Greek hero. Betrayed by his stepfather the king, then exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, ‘Hercules’ must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom. Directed by Renny Harlin.
• Also released today: “Bob Hope Classic Comedy Collection” (Compilation); “Dynasty: The 8th Season” (Vintage TV); “Francis the Talking Mule Collection” (Compilation); “Hill Street Blues: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed” (Standup Comedy); and “Mr Selfridge – The Complete 2nd Season” (TV).

HIP TO HOP:
Seems women’s behavior can be unconsciously influenced by … hip size. In a new study of close to 150 women aged 18-to-26 by Britain’s University of Leeds, women who were more inclined to have one-night-stands were found to have wider hips. ‘Hip width’ is defined as the distance between the upper outer edges of the iliac crest bones of the pelvis. Overall, women in this study with hips wider than 36 cm (14.2 ins) had more sexual partners and more one-night-stands than women with hips under 31 cm (12.2 ins) wide. (This is why you should always take a tape measure with you to a nightclub, guys.)
– ScienceDaily.com

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
✗ A social media-obsessed Los Angeles woman who was unhappy with her looks in her online pics has had … $15,000-worth of plastic surgery. Skype and Facebook-regular Triana Lavey (39) could have used a pic-enhancing app like Photoshop to look hotter, but the talent agent has gone a step further by having chin and nose surgery, fat grafting, and Botox injections.
– NYDailyNews.com
✗ A British parish council has become the first in the UK to reserve part of a new cemetery for … fat people. Sutton Bridge & Wingland Parish Council plans to create 30 megaplots priced at $336,000, so undertakers won’t have to heave obese corpses so far. The extra-wide 8-foot plots will be close to the cemetery entrance.
– “Daily Mail”
✗ A Florida woman has lost a 6-year battle with her home insurer over damage created … when her upstairs neighbor’s corpse exploded. Judy Rodrigo claimed the elderly woman’s body went undiscovered for 2 weeks in 2008, causing it to burst. But the Palm Beach County court has now ruled that her insurance policy does NOT cover damage caused by bodily explosions.
– NYPost.com

PRETEND FRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN NONE:
Need workout motivation? A new study from Michigan State University is said to be the first to suggest that, while a human workout partner is best, a software-generated cyber buddy is better than nothing at all. In experiments, participants who were paired with a human partner had the top results. However, those paired with one of several virtual workout pals performed better than participants who worked out on their own. The researchers say their findings could lead to the creation of better software and games aimed at motivating users. (What’s your best motivator when it comes to working out?)
– AFP

TURNS OUT IT’S A TOTAL CROCK:
For centuries, gardeners have put shards of pottery or ‘crocks’ in the bottom of plant pots to increase drainage. The theory is that it allows water to run off more quickly than soil would on its own and prevents compost from clogging up the holes at the bottom of the pot. Well, guess what? A new study by consumer magazine “Which?” has debunked the tradition, finding the practice doesn’t serve any useful purpose whatsoever. Experiments have shown that adding crocks to a pot makes no difference as far as ‘plant vigor and flowering impact’. (It does allow you to use less potting soil … if you’re a real cheapskate.)
– “Magazine Monitor”

BS AMAZING LANGUAGE FACTS:
• The Chinese word for nouveau riche is ‘tuhao’.
• In Somalia, the word for ‘president’ also means ‘big head’.
• The Inuit language doesn’t have a word for ‘freedom’. The closest is ‘annakpok’ which means ‘not caught’.
• ‘Sgiomlaireachd’ (pronounced ‘scum-leerie’) is a Scots Gaelic word meaning ‘the kind of friend who only drops in at mealtimes’.
– “BBC News Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 04.29.14

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [60] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, really rich retired TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)/stand-up comedian

1957 [57] Daniel Day-Lewis, London UK, movie actor (2012 Oscar-“Lincoln”, 2008 Oscar-“There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-“My Left Foot”)

1958 [56] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, movie actress (“Hairspray”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)

1968 [46] Carnie Wilson, Los Angeles CA, pop singer (Wilson Philips-“Release Me”, “Hold On”)/TV personality (“Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On”)

1970 [44] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Kill Bill” movies, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)

1986 [28] Amy Heidemann, Seward NE, pop singer (Karmin- “Brokenhearted”, “Hello”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Berlin Wall Day”, marking the date in 1990 that wrecking cranes started tearing down the Cold War-era division between East and West Berlin at the Brandenburg Gate.

• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance in societies, as well as to persuade governments worldwide to provide a proper place for dance in all systems of education, from primary to higher.

• “One Day Without Shoes”, the annual day when we’re encouraged to take off our shoes to raise global awareness of children’s health & education. The idea is to start a conversation for change by going without shoes and sharing what you’re doing.
NET: http://www.toms.ca/onedaywithoutshoes/

• “Shrimp Scampi Day”, celebrating the tasty dish that mixes sautéed shrimp with garlic, shallots, parsley and oregano; drenches it all with wine & brandy, then lights ‘er up. Bring it on!

• “Zipper Day” celebrating the 1913 date when Swedish-American inventor Gideon Sundback patented the ‘Separable Fastener’, the 1st all-purpose zipper.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [03] Wedding of Britain’s Prince William & Kate Middleton (it’s their Crystal Anniversary)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1852 [162] 1st edition of “Roget’s Thesaurus” (that’s stupendous, not to mention spectacular!)

TODAY’S LAST . . .
2004 [10] GM builds the last ‘Oldsmobile’ car, ending 107 years of production

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [19] ‘World’s Longest Sausage’ measures 28.77 miles (46.3 km) in Kitchener, Ontario

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] International Jazz Day
[Wed] Spank Out Day
[Wed] CRA Income Tax due (Canada)
[Wed] Adopt a Shelter Pet Day
[Wed] International Guide Dogs Day
This Week Is … Air Quality Awareness Week
This Month Is … Worldwide Bereaved Spouses Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS AUTO HOROSCOPES:
To find out your vehicle’s astrological sign look for a sticker on the inside of the driver’s side door or in the bottom corner of the windshield that lists the exact month & year it was manufactured. Auto horoscopes are based month-to-month because vehicles are assembled over a period of weeks, not just a single day.
• ARIES (April) – These cars are among the most reliable you can buy, but they do have aggravating characteristics. They commonly have squealing brakes and may be slow to start in  the Winter. Paint durability is not the best.
• TAURUS (May) – Taurean cars are strong, but cooling and electrical systems are troublesome. Engines are more durable than most and withstand considerable abuse. Heaters and air-conditioners are tip-top.
• GEMINI (June) – Cars manufactured under the sign of the twins tend to lead a dual life, running flawlessly one day and sputtering the next. They are extremely durable however and with a little elbow grease and mechanical know-how, you can keep them on the road forever.
• CANCER (July) – Cancer cars tend to be well-crafted and rarely develop squeaks, leaks, or rattles. On a low note, performance is middle of the pack and power options are fickle.
• LEO (August) – These cars tend to be unreliable and have engine, brake, and suspension woes. But they can be a good buy if the price is right and you do very little driving.
• VIRGO (September) – Cars built under the sign of Virgo are excellent highway cruisers but perform poorly in stop-and-go traffic. Clutch problems are a real nuisance. Best purchased with an automatic transmission.
• LIBRA (October) – Libran cars are born to run and are top choices for hard-driving teens and hot-rodders. Excellent paint, but leaks and rattles are a given for autos made under the sign of the scales.
• SCORPIO (November) – These cars combine reliability, performance, and durability to rate among the best of all autos. They tend to guzzle more gas than other cars. But they are still considered the ‘best-bet’ for any driver.
• SAGITTARIUS (December) – Sagittarian cars are timid performers regardless of engine size and are less reliable than average. The good news is these autos love long trips, so they are best-suited for people who like to travel. But beware, they tend to be sluggish in the city.
• CAPRICORN (January) – Look out! Shoddy interiors and premature tire wear mar these otherwise strong performers. Reliable and responsive, Capricorn cars are a good choice if you can afford to keep them in rubber.
• AQUARIUS (February) – Aquarian cars are slick performers that are extremely reliable in the short run. Rust can be a problem and dashboard readouts tend to be inaccurate. These cars are a great buy for people who plan to trade in for a new vehicle every couple of years.
• PISCES (March) – Piscean cars are the cream of the cop but require more maintenance than most. Engines and transmissions are always strong performers and brakes are flawless. An excellent choice for motorists who like to tinker, visit auto parts stores, and change their own oil.
– Joke-Archives.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Well, seems the ol’ fecal material has hit the air circulating device …

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What would you like attached, implanted, or embedded in your body to make things easier?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which current Major League Baseball team was once known as the ‘Bees’ (as in ‘buzz’)?
a. Atlanta Braves. [CORRECT. While still in Boston, they adopted that name from 1936-40.)
b. Oakland A’s.
c. Chicago Blackhawks.
– Wikipedia.org

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A new study says the average person under 35 does THIS about 3.5 hours a day.
Answer: Wears headphones.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” is on hiatus next week (May 5-9) while we enjoy a little down-time. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days.