Friday, April 29, 2016        Edition: #5720

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

★ Tonight at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles CA, comic actor Will Ferrell and doppelgänger drummer Chad Smith of Red Hot Chili Peppers are throwing a party dubbed “The Red Hot Benefit Comedy + Music Show & Quinceañera” (the Latin American celebration of a girl’s 15th birthday). The event includes performances by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Devo, comedians Jim Gaffigan and Nick Offerman, and more. The show benefits Cancer for College as well as the Silverlake Conservatory of Music.
★ Barack Obama’s last White House Correspondents’ Dinner is Saturday night. “The Nightly Show” host Larry Wilmore emcees at the Washington Hilton in Washington DC. Invited celebrities include: John Cena, Kendall Jenner, Kerry Washington, Michelle Dockery, Neve Campbell, Rosario Dawson, Shonda Rhimes, and Will Smith. The dinner traditionally is the platform for humor about and by the sitting US president.
★ And a new TV version of the movie “‘Watership Down” is in the works that promises to be less frightening for younger children.  The 4-part reboot also promises to give a more prominent role to female characters. Actors Ben Kingsley, James McAvoy, and John Boyega have already signed on to voice characters in the BBC/Netflix re-make which will use state-of-the-art animation. The project is scheduled for broadcast on BBC 1 in late 2017, with Netflix giving it its premiere throughout the rest of the world. It’s the biggest joint venture between the 2 companies to date.
• “American Country Countdown Awards” (FOX) – Sunday the past year’s top country music is honored at the Forum in Los Angeles CA. The broadcast features 14 performances including:  Brooks & Dunn, Cam, Carrie Underwood, Florida Georgia Line, Kelsea Ballerini, Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt, and Thomas Rhett, plus Toby Keith’s tribute to the late Merle Haggard.
• Beale Street Music Festival (Memphis TN) – This weekend’s lineup for the  2016 edition includes: Beck, Jason Derulo, Neil Young, Meghan Trainor, Modest Mouse, Panic! At the Disco, Paul Simon, Train, Weezer and many more.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Fifth Harmony (“7/27”, out May 20th).
• Fort Rock Festival (Fort Myers FL) – On the bill for South Florida’s biggest rock festival this weekend: Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Megadeth, Rob Zombie, Shinedown, 3 Doors Down and more. Much of the same lineup appears at this weekend’s “Welcome to Rockville” event in Jacksonville FL, which boasts 45 acts.
• iHeart Country Festival (Austin TX) – Tonight Brett Eldredge, Chris Young, Cole Swindell Florida Georgia Line, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, and Zac Brown Band are among the performers at this 3rd annual event. It’s being streamed live.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight Panic! At the Disco (“Death Of a Bachelor”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Strokes’ drummer Fabrizio Moretti. Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Gwen Stefani (“This Is What the Truth Feels Like”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Adam Levine (“The Voice”).
• Radio Disney Music Awards (LA CA) – Saturday nominees who’ll perform include Ariana Grande and DNCE. Gwen Stefani is being honored with the ‘Hero Award’. Highlights of the awards ceremony air Sunday on the Disney Channel.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Musical guest Alicia Keys (“Girl on Fire”). Rerun.

• Beyoncé – She’s selling ‘Boycott Beyoncé’ merchandise on “The Formation World Tour”. The reason? After her Super Bowl performance, some planned to protest her shows due to her salute to the Black Panther Party. So she’s nipped their plan in the bud by offering official tour shirts and iPhone cases adorned with the slogan.
• Cage the Elephant – Sunday the “Tell Me I’m Pretty” band launches an extensive tour of North America starting in Little Rock AR. The trek wraps June 26th in Phoenix AZ. Portugal The Man opens all dates.
• Calvin Harris & Rihanna – Today they release the single “This is What You Came For”. Harris and Rihanna last linked up in 2011 for the mega hit “We Found Love”. She joined Harris to perform the new song during his headlining set at Coachella this month.
• Drake – As if you haven’t heard, his highly anticipated new album “Views From the 6” is out today. A nifty ‘Views From the 6 Meme Generator’ inserts Drake’s image into any pic you want.
• Kesha – Today she takes a big step toward her musical comeback as she and Zedd release “True Colors”. How’s she able to record when she’s still under contract with Kemosabe Records and producer Dr Luke? Zedd says Kemosabe/RCA gave them permission.
• Martina McBride – Today the country veteran’s new album “Reckless” drops on a new label for her, Nash Icon. The label was formed by Big Machine Label Group for established artists.
• Miranda Lambert – Saturday she begins her 30-city “Keeper Of the Flame Tour” in Austin TX. Kip Moore and the Brothers Osborne are the opening acts.

• “Keanu” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Friends hatch a plot to retrieve a stolen kitten (named after Keanu Reeves) by posing as drug dealers for a street gang. Stars Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Tiffany Haddish, Method Man. The real Keanu Reeves contributes his voice to a scene in which the feline ‘Keanu’ helps guide Peele’s character through a drug trip.
• “Mother’s Day” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): Director Garry Marshall’s latest holiday-theme ensemble film (á la “New Year’s Eve”, “Valentine’s Day”), 3 generations come together in the week leading up to Mothers Day. Stars Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Jason Sudeikis, and Timothy Olyphant.
• “Ratchet & Clank” ( PG Animated Adventure ): When the galaxy comes under the threat of a nefarious space captain, a mechanic and his robot ally join an elite squad of combatants to save the universe. Voice cast includes James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Jim Ward, Sylvester Stallone. This adaptation of the popular videogame series is planned as a film franchise.
• Opening in limited release: ” A Beautiful Planet” (Documentary); “The Man Who Knew Infinity” (Biographical Drama); “Papa Hemingway in Cuba” (Biographical Drama); and “The Wait” (Drama).

A NYC man who lost his son in a car accident is proposing the use of a ‘Textalyzer’, a sort of Breathalyzer for distracted driving. The device would plug into a cellphone to tell police when the device was in use. That doesn’t mean cops could access private conversations or photos; the gizmo only shows the times of texts in and texts out. The technology is already under development by a company called Cellebrite. It could be used not only in accident investigations but as evidence when drivers are pulled over for distracted driving. But the NY Civil Liberties Union sees a few problems: ‘Textalyzer’ wouldn’t register if the driver pulled over to use the phone; plus there are many ways in which somebody could be using a phone in a car that aren’t a violation of any law. (Like watching Netflix?)

Not only is spanking not effective when it comes to disciplining children, it can actually lead to everything from mental health problems to aggression. That’s according to a new analysis in the “Journal of Family Psychology”. Researchers looked at 50 years of prior studies involving over 160,000 children. We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinctly different, the report finds, yet spanking is linked with the same negative outcomes, just to a slightly lesser degree. The researchers argue that spanking is continuing to be practiced not because it’s effective but because children who are spanked grow up to become parents who spank. (Even the pope says it’s OK to spank children as long as they aren’t ‘hit in the face and still have their dignity’.)

Today is “Hairball Awareness Day”, an annual observance on the last Friday of April. A few facts …
– The usual cat hairball isn’t round but tubular, approximately 1 cm (a half-inch) in diameter and about 4 cm (1.5 in) long.
– Hairballs don’t discriminate. Many animals other than cats (ie: cows, goats, and other cud-chewers) are susceptible to indigestible gunk accumulating in their stomachs.
– The official name for what we call a hairball is a ‘bezoar’.
– They needn’t be made of hair. They can also form in people from nondigestible food parts, like celery, grape skins, sauerkraut; or from chewing gum; and even amassed pill capsules.
– In the Middle Ages, hairballs were cherished objects, set with gold and jewelry.
– The carbonic and phosphoric acid in Coke can dissolve some bezoars made of food parts. But serious cases require surgery.


1954 [62] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, retired TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)/comedian (web series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” since 2012)

1955 [61] Kate Mulgrew, Dubuque IA, TV actress (‘Red’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1995-2001)

1957 [59] Daniel Day-Lewis, London UK, movie actor (2012 Oscar-“Lincoln”, 2008 Oscar-“There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-“My Left Foot”)

1958 [58] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, TV actress (“American Horror Story: Hotel” 2015)/movie actress (“Dangerous Liaisons”)

1970 [46] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Kill Bill” movies, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)

1983 [33] Megan Boone, Petoskey MI, TV actress (‘Elizabeth Keen’ on “The Blacklist” since 2013)

1986 [30] Amy Heidemann, Seward NE, pop singer (Karmin- “Brokenhearted”, “Hello”)

1989 [27] Foxes (Louisa Rose Allen), Southampton UK, pop singer-songwriter (“Clarity”, “Youth”)

Country singer-songwriter Willie Nelson is 83; Alt-rock guitarist Chris Henderson (3 Doors Down) is 45; TV actor Johnny Galecki (“Big Bang Theory”) is 41; TV actor Sam Heughan (“Outlander”) is 36; TV actor Kunal Nayyar (“Big Bang Theory”) is 35; Movie actress Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) is 34.

Country singer Tim McGraw (“Humble & Kind”) is 49; Movie director Wes Anderson (“Grand Budapest Hotel”) is 47; Movie actor Jamie Dornan (“Fifty Shades of Grey”) is 34.

• “Disc Jockey Day”, for some unknown reason celebrated on the last Friday in April.
• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance in societies.
• “Teach Children to Save Day”, another way of planning for your retirement besides contributing to that constantly quivering mutual fund.

• “APC National Pie Championships” in Orlando FL. Both amateur and professional pie-makers from the US and Canada have been competing at the event since 1995.
• “Adopt a Shelter Pet Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of strays.
• “Go Birding Day”, celebrating birdwatching as a ‘fascinating’ pastime.
• “International Jazz Day”, initiated in 2001 by UNESCO to celebrate worldwide appreciation of the genre. This year’s host city for a special global concert is Washington DC.
• “Save the Frogs Day”, the 8th annual observance of the world’s largest day of amphibian education and conservation action.
• “Sense of Smell Day”, an annual event sponsored by the Sense of Smell Institute on the last Saturday of April when many children’s museums and science centers focus on the topic.
• “World Tai Chi Day”, saluting the martial art that’s performed in slo-mo.
• “World Veterinary Day”, celebrated annually on the last Saturday of April to honor the medical professionals who work to maintain animal health.

• “Lei Day”, celebrated in Hawaii instead of May Day. It is a time to celebrate native Hawaiian culture. One of the most common flowers used in leis is the orchid.
• “Lemonade Day”, saluting the drink, not the Beyoncé album.
• “May Day”, a traditional holiday celebration since ancient times. Since 1889, it’s been officially observed in some 66 countries as a “Labor Day” holiday.
• “Mother Goose Day”, which actually honors many different writers. The term was first used in the title of the nursery rhyme collection “Mother Goose’s Melody” about 1765.
• “New Homeowner’s Day”. Congratulations, you’ll be debt-free in about 30 years! Got your repair manual yet?
• “Purebred Dog Day”, an annual celebration of all ‘purpose-bred’ dogs.
• “Save the Rhino Day”, in honor of the pachyderm that’s roamed the Earth for over a million years but has recently been hunted to near extinction.

2011 [05] Wedding of Britain’s Prince William & Kate Middleton (it’s their Wood Anniversary)

2007 [09] Avril Lavigne’s 3rd album, “The Best Damn Thing”, tops charts in North America and UK

2003 [13] Apple Computer launches its iTunes Music Store

2015 [01] Chicago White Sox at Baltimore Orioles game sets all-time low attendance mark for Major League Baseball as zero fans are in attendance (stadium closed due to civil unrest)

[May 2] Melanoma Monday
[May 3] Childhood Depression Awareness Day / Garden Meditation Day / Hug Your Cat Day / Special-Abled Pets Day / Two Different Colored Shoes Day / Paranormal Day / Public Radio Day / World Asthma Day / World Press Freedom Day
[May 4] International Firefighters Day / Bike to School Day / Life Insurance Day / Intergalactic Star Wars Day / International Respect for Chickens Day / Day to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy / Occupational Safety & Health Day / Petite and Proud Day
[May 5] Cartoonists Day / Childhood Stroke Awareness Day / Cinco de Mayo / International Day Of the Midwife / International Roller Derby Day / Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day / Totally Chipotle Day / World Password Day
[May 6] “A Bigger Splash”; “Captain America: Civil War” open in movie theaters / “Grace & Frankie” season debut (Netflix) / Child Care Provider Day / Dandelion Days / International Space Day / Military Spouse Appreciation Day / No Diet Day / No Homework Day / RN Recognition Day / Tuba Day
[May 7] Birthmothers Day / Bladder Cancer Awareness Day / Cosmopolitan Day / Free Comic Book Day / Kentucky Derby (Louisville KY) / Mariachi Day / Mother Ocean Day / Babysitters Day / Homebrew Day / World Naked Gardening Day
[May 8] Mothers Day / Free Trade Day / World Laughter Day / No Socks Day / World Ovarian Cancer Day / World Red Cross Day
[May 9] Women’s Check-Up Day / Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day
[May 10] World Lupus Day / One Day Without Shoes
[May 11] Cannes Film Festival begins (France) / Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity / Eat What You Want Day / Night Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day / Root Canal Appreciation Day
[May 12] Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day / International Nurses Day / Limerick Day
[May 13] “The Darkness”; “Money Monster” open in movie theaters / Shaky Knees Festival begins (Atlanta GA) / Blame Someone Else Day / Friday the 13th / Crouton Day / Hummus Day
[May 14] Bereaved Mothers Day / Buddah Day / International Migratory Bird Day / Archery Day / Chicken Dance Day / Miniature Golf Day / Train Day / Windmill Day / Stay Up All Night / World Belly Dance Day / World Migratory Bird Day
[May 15] International Day of Families / Chocolate Chip Cookie Day / Peace Officer Memorial Day
[May 16] Webby Awards / Accounting Day / Biographers Day / Mimosa Day / Piercing Day
[May 17] Same Sex Marriage Day / World Hypertension Day / World Telecommunications Day
[May 18] Buy a Musical Instrument Day / EMS Day / HIV Vaccine Awareness Day / International Museum Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day / Museum Day / Visit Your Relatives Day
[May 19] MusiCares MAP Fund Tribute Concert (LA CA) / Great Escape Festival begins (Brighton UK) / May Ray Day / Scooter Day / Hepatitis Testing Day
[May 20] “Angry Birds”; “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising”; “The Nice Guys” open in movie theaters / Rock On the Range begins (Columbus OH) / Hangout Festival begins (Gulf Shores AL) /  / Eliza Doolittle Day / Endangered Species Day / International Virtual Assistants Day / NASCAR Day / Bike to Work Day / Pizza Party Day / Weights & Measures Day
[May 21] Full ‘Flower’ Moon / US Armed Forces Day / Learn to Swim Day / Wait Staff Day / Preakness Stakes (Baltimore MD / World Day for Cultural Diversity
[May 22] 2016 Billboard Music Awards (Las Vegas NV) / Canadian Immigrants Day / Neighbor Day / Maritime Day / World Goth Day
[May 23] Victoria Day (Canada) / Dylan Fest: A Celebration of Bob Dylan’s 75th Birthday (Nashville TN) / Taffy Day / World Turtle Day
[May 24] Brothers Day / International Tiara Day
[May 25] Missing Children’s Day / Tap Dance Day / Senior Health & Fitness Day / Geek Pride Day / World MS Day
[May 26]  Eat More Fruits & Vegetables Day / Red Nose Day
[May 27] “Alice Through the Looking Glass”; “X-Men: Apocalypse” open in movie theaters / Sasquatch! Festival begins George WA) / Rockavaria begins (Munich, Germany) / BottleRock Music Festival begins (Napa CA) / Cellophane Tape Day / Heat Awareness Day
[May 28] Hamburger Day / Polka Day / Sierra Club Day
[May 29] Indy 500 (Indianapolis IN) / Learn About Composting Day / International Day of UN Peacekeepers
[May 30] Memorial Day (USA) / Mint Julep Day
[May 31] World No-Tobacco Day


• If humans are so bad for the environment, where did barn owls live before there were barns?
• Isn’t saying something is ‘indescribable’, describing it?
• Do crabs think fish can fly?
• Once born, are we living or dying?
• Is your answer to this question ‘no’?

If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.

☎ Have we become overly dependent on technology?

Question: Room temperature is the #1 argument office workers have; what’s #2?
Answer: Smelly food.

When you are torn between 2 choices, always pick the one that will make the best story.

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