Thursday, April 4, 2013        Edition: #4956

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

✳ 48-year-old Courtney Love is advertising electronic cigarettes. Kurt Cobain’s widow has become the unlikely star of a new web-based campaign for NJOY. The ad has her sitting in a window, puffing on a cigarette when an older woman comes over and says, “Excuse me. You know you can’t smoke in here”. To which Love rolls her eyes and replies, “Relax. It’s a f—ing NJOY!” Her daughter Frances Bean once claimed Love existed on drugs, sugar, and cigarettes. (The reason she looks like this …
✳ “Glee” actress Heather Morris is expecting her first child, according to a report. The blonde star, who plays ditzy ‘Brittany Pierce’, and her long-term boyfriend Taylor Hubbell will reportedly welcome their baby later this year. An inside source says she’s a little more than 3 months along and starting to show. Word has it the pregnancy was totally unexpected, but the couple is ‘incredibly happy and excited’. (BS translation: Holy crap! The condom broke.)
✳ Reality TV star Khloe Kardashian has posted an online denial of allegations that her NBA player-husband Lamar Odom has improperly used funds from his charity. The LA Clippers star created Cathy’s Kids in memory of his mother, to help children fighting cancer. An ESPN investigation has suggested the charity has so far contributed nothing to the cause. Khloe quote: “Not one penny went to help Lamar personally or any member of his family.” (Does your high school basketball coach count as ‘family’?)
✳ Angelina Jolie, Robert De Niro, and Lady Gaga, as well as athletes Dennis Rodman and Michael Vick, are reportedly among the latest batch of stars who have had sensitive financial and personal info accessed by computer hackers. The website on which stars’ confidential information has been posted was previously shut down, but it’s now reportedly back up and running with a new domain extension. (Why don’t they check into Lamar Odom?)
✳ And speaking of Angelina Jolie, she’s opened an all-girl primary school for up to 300 students just outside Kabul, Afghanistan while acting as Goodwill ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency. Bankrolling the project is Jolie’s personally designed jewelry collection, ‘The Style of Jolie’, which is about to hit stores for the first time. She’ll use the profits to build even more schools in Afghanistan and elsewhere. (Is she trying for future beatification or what?)
– E! News

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Carrie Underwood, who recently celebrated her 17th #1 hit, performs her new single “See You Again”; “Idol” alum Casey James also performs; contestants face elimination.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“The Heist”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Seth Sentry (“This Was Tomorrow”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Ryan Bingham (“Tomorrowland”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tyler, The Creator (“Wolf”).
• “New Girl” (FOX/CityTV) – Season finalé entitled “First Date” features guest star Taylor Swift.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Luke Bryan (“Spring Break: Here to Party”).

• Beyoncé – She tells the new “Vogue” magazine that she’s a modern-day feminist but asks, “Why do you have to label yourself?” With regards to naming her upcoming tour ‘The Mrs Carter Tour’, she says it’s simply a tribute to her husband.
• Bon Jovi – Guitarist Richie Sambora has bowed out of their current tour. The axeman was absent at this week’s gig in Calgary AB ‘due to personal issues’, according to the band’s website. Buzz has it he’s not in jail or hospital, but no details have been given as yet.
• Fleetwood Mac – Tonight their 2013 North American tour begins in Columbus OH. The 34-city trek is scheduled to finish June 12th in Detroit MI. The reunited band’s lineup includes Mick Fleetwood, John McVie, Lindsey Buckingham, and Stevie Nicks.
• Justin Bieber – American Humane Society rep Debbie Leahy says, “People want to emulate celebrities they admire. When somebody like Justin Bieber is irresponsible and goes out and gets a pet monkey, he sets a very bad example … he seems to be a little bit out of control.”
• Lady Gaga – Seems she’s almost recovered from her recent hip surgery. She’s been spotted on her way to a yoga class in Manhattan this week … wearing stiletto heels.
• Luke Bryan – He’ll introduce his new single “Crash My Party” from his upcoming 4th studio album on the “ACM Awards” this Sunday. The song will be available for download afterward.
• Mötley Crüe – They’ve announced plans for a 2nd residency in Las Vegas this September, after playing a 3-week stint in Sin City last year. And  bassist Nikki Sixx tells “NY Post” when they’re finally ready to retire, they’ll do it bigtime with a farewell tour, a final album, and a movie.
• PSY – The South Korean rapper plans to follow up “Gangnam Style” with a new single called “Gentleman”, which will be available for Korean fans April 12th. He’ll perform it in public for the first time at an April 13th concert … along with a new signature dance.
• Rolling Stones – As expected, they announced a North American “50 and Counting” tour yesterday that includes 9 concerts in the US & Canada in May-June (Anaheim, Boston, Chicago, LA, Las Vegas, Oakland, Philadelphia, San Jose, Toronto). And reports the band’s management is preparing to announce a further 9 shows.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Avengers 2” – Production on the comic-book-hero-packed sequel is due to start at Pinewood-Shepperton studios in the UK later this year with an eye to a 2015 release. The film’s plot and cast have not been revealed, but the movie will be written and directed by Joss Whedon, who helmed the first instalment. The 2012 original grossed over $1.5 billion.
• “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” – 76-year-old Robert Redford has signed on to play the head of law enforcement agency ‘SHIELD’ in this Marvel superhero sequel. Chris Evans returns as ‘Steve Rogers’, the titular hero, as well as Sebastian Stan and Samuel L Jackson. Emily VanCamp and Scarlett Johansson also have roles. The movie will be released early next year.
• “Finding Dory” – The little blue fish voiced by Ellen Degeneres will be the focus of this upcoming “Finding Nemo” sequel. Set along the California coastline, the film will feature both returning favorites and new characters.  The follow-up to the 2003 Oscar-winner will be directed by original “Nemo” filmmaker Andrew Stanton and is set for release on November 25, 2015.
• “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” – Will Arnett will star alongside Alan Ritchson & Megan Fox in producer Michael Bay’s upcoming live action reboot of the classic comic book franchise. The new incarnation will use both CGI and performance-capture to bring the crime-fighters to life, in a similar vein to James Cameron’s “Avatar”. It’s set for release in June 2014.
• Untitled Priest Scandal Movie – This feature film about the Catholic Church’s cover-up of its pedophile priests in Massachusetts centers around the Pulitzer Prize-winning “Boston Globe” journalists who uncovered the scandal. The team found that Cardinal Law had hidden years of abuse by moving guilty priests from one parish to another, where they often abused again.

Today Facebook has scheduled a press conference at its Menlo Park CA headquarters to unveil a ‘major announcement’. According to leaks, the Facebook ‘Home and Android’ event is all about a new phone. Facebook has seemingly collaborated with HTC for the launch of some sort of Facebook-enhanced smartphone that’s reportedly called the ‘HTC First’. Unlike other much-hyped phone launches in Silicon Valley, this one will likely focus more on the user interface and experience and less on the hardware. (Great, now you can update your status while driving.)

Ever thrown your smartphone in exasperation? You’re not alone. Repair shops report a steady flow of smashed phones; and psychologists observe patients toting damaged devices. Driven by impulse, it seems, a lot of people have been texting and tossing of late. Typically, the trigger is a text from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or it might be a parent. In the past, teens might have slammed a door. Nowadays, they hurl hardware. (Let’s go back to slamming doors … that’s free!)
– “Los Angeles Times”

✓ Butterfly Clips: We had them in every color, so we felt the need to wear them all at once.
✓ Scrunchies: OK they were handy, but could they possibly be the worst fashion idea ever?
✓ Slap Bracelets: These were among the most dangerous of accessories. Ouch!
✓ Light-Up Sneakers: For kids who needed to be entertained head-to-toe, emphasis on toe.
✓ Frosted Tips: Thanks in part to Justin Timberlake during most of his *NSYNC career.
✓ Lip Smackers: From kiwi to cotton candy, it took determination not to eat these lip balms.
✓ Mood Rings: Without one on, it was completely unclear how you were feeling on a given day.
– Adapted from

If you want to be seen as a leader, take up more space. That’s the advice of Stanford University Organizational Behavior professor Jeffrey Pfeffer. To magnify the power of your presence in smaller groups, he says, you should try to consume more space than everyone else around you. Spread your arms and legs. Expand your chest. It’ll feel awkward, but you’ll notice that people will start giving you more respect. (In fact, your weird behavior will make them back away.)
– “Power: Why Some People Have It”

Lusting after a bigger house, a different job, or the coolest smartphone? If you want to feel happy, try putting your envy on ice. In a new study, University of Missouri researchers have found that a big key to contentment is learning to want what you already have. It’s not a new theory, but the study seems to reinforce the idea that taking a moment to let yourself feel a deeper appreciation for the people and things that make up your daily life helps you get more pleasure out of life. (Make every day Thanksgiving Day and … people will mock you mercilessly.)
– “Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin”

How do you know if your kid is getting too much homework? According to National Education Association guidelines, the recommended homework load is 10 minutes of work per year of schooling through middle school. That means 1st graders should have no more than 10 minutes of homework, while 6th graders should have about 1 hour. (And you PhD candidates get about 20 minutes a day for sleeping.)
– “Better Homes & Gardens”

204 million emails are sent … each minute.
– Intel Report


1965 [48] Robert Downey Jr, NYC, movie actor (“Iron Man” films, “Sherlock Holmes” films)  COMING UP: “Iron Man 3”, opening May 3rd.

1970 [43] Barry Pepper, Campbell River BC, movie actor (“True Grit”, “Flags Of Our Fathers”)/TV actor (“The Kennedys”, “61*”)  UP NEXT: “ The Lone Ranger”, opening July 3rd.

1971 [42] Josh Todd, LA CA, rock singer (Buckcherry-“Sorry”, “Lit Up”)

1973 [40] David Blaine (White), Brooklyn NY, illusionist who’s been suspended over the River Thames for 44 days, buried alive, and frozen in a block of ice among other stunts

1979 [34] Natasha Lyonne, NYC, TV actress (‘Nicky Nichols’ on “Orange Is the New Black” 2013)/movie actress (“American Pie” movies)

1979 [34] Roberto Luongo, Montréal QC, NHL hockey goalie (Vancouver Canucks)

1986 [27] Cam Barker, Winnipeg MB, NHL hockey defenceman ( Vancouver Canucks)

• “Ballroom Dancing Day”, celebrated on the birth anniversary of Arthur Murray, the famous ballroom dancing instructor. It’s an activity that’s hot once again thanks to TV shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”.

• “Hug a Newscaster Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Face Harassment Charges Day’.)

• “International Day for Landmine Awareness & Assistance”. (Unfortunately, participation in this can cost you an arm and a leg.)

• “Tell-A-Lie Day”, a good day to ask listeners to add to the list of ‘World’s Greatest Lies’ …
– Gee, you haven’t changed a bit.
– I never got the message.
– Your baby looks so beautiful.
– I’ll start my diet on Monday.
– It wasn’t me.

• “Vitamin-C Day”, marking the date in 1932 when scientist CC King first isolated the vitamin at the University of Pittsburgh. (What an appropriate name he had!)

• “Walk Around Things Day”, a day to avoid issues and risks by simply walking around the potential problem.

• “World Rat Day”, the 11th annual recognizing the ‘dear, sweet animals which deserve greater recognition and admiration’, according to people who own them. It’s claimed their image only suffers from ignorance and unthinking prejudice.

2008 [05] Director Martin Scorsese releases his Rolling Stones’ concert documentary “Shine A Light”

2007 [06] Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones retracts a statement made to “New Musical Express” a few days earlier suggesting he once snorted his father’s ashes

1982 [31] Hockey sensation Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers finishes the NHL season with 212 points to become the 1st and only player to break the 200-point barrier (he goes on to do it 3 more times)

[Fri] Hollywood Legends Auction begins (Beverly Hills CA)
[Fri] NCAA Final Four weekend (Atlanta GA)
[Fri] Deep Dish Pizza Day
[Fri] Hospital Admitting Clerks Day
[Fri] Walk to Work Day
[Sun] “Mad Men” season debut (AMC)
This Week Is … Week Of the Ocean
This Month Is … Emotional Overeating Awareness Month


“You know what they say about guys with comically large shoes.”
“Are you ready for the second-greatest show on earth?”
“Wanna go for a drive with me and 40 of my friends?”
“Would you help me remove greasepaint from some hard-to-reach places?”
“How’d you like to see the big top?”
“Don’t waste your time with the strong man … steroids made him impotent.”
“You know the old saying, ‘Once you’ve had a clown, you’ll never turn around’.”
“Two things on me honk.”

Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.

☎ What advice would you offer to your younger self?

Question: About a third of homes have one of THESE, and it’s almost always in the closet.
Answer:  A “Scrabble” board game.

Free advice is seldom cheap.

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