Friday, April 5, 2013        Edition: #4957

We Give a Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ “Game Of Thrones” star Lena Headey (‘Cersei Lannister’) is currently going through a divorce from husband Peter Loughran, who’s filed paperwork demanding half of a tax refund she’s due. In response, Headey has filed legal documents stating she is flat broke, has ‘less than $5 in her bank account’, and is living off a credit card as she awaits payment from acting jobs. A judge has denied Loughran’s request. (Seems she’s only one-half of rich and famous.)
– TMZ.com
✳ Revered movie critic Roger Ebert’s cancer has returned. The acclaimed writer was first diagnosed with the disease in 2002. While hospitalized late last year  with a fractured hip, doctors discovered the return of cancerous cells in his body. The 70-year-old has announced he’ll be cutting back on his work as he battles the illness once more. (The guy’s tough!)
– WENN.com
✳ “Girls” actor Christopher Abbott has quit the HBO series amid rumors of a flare-up with the show’s creator and star Lena Dunham. Abbott plays ‘Charlie Dattolo’, the on-and-off boyfriend of Allison Williams’ character. Abbott’s rep has confirmed the departure, claiming the actor is ‘working on numerous other projects and decided not to return to the show’. (BS translation: She hurt my feelings; I’m not playing anymore.)
– NYPost.com
✳ And Justin Bieber has been told he has 1 month to pick up his monkey or it will put up for adoption, likely to one of several zoos that have expressed interest. The capuchin, named Mally, has been quarantined in Munich since being brought into Germany without proper paperwork. Apparently neither Bieber nor his management have been in touch with the animal sanctuary. A spokesperson says Mally is cheerful, eating well, and has a replacement mommy … a toy cat. (The way things are going, abandoning a cute animal isn’t the Biebs’ best move.)
– Independent.co.uk

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS) – Sunday Blake Shelton & Luke Bryan co-host the 48th annual honors from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Eric Church leads nominations with 7; Hunter Hayes has 6; Miranda Lambert and Taylor Swift have 5 apiece.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Tonight Luke Bryan (“Spring Break: Here to Party”); Rascal Flatts (“Changed”); Tim McGraw (“Two Lanes Of Freedom”). Rerun.
• “Elaine Stritch at The Carlyle: Movin’ Over & Out” (NYC) – Saturday is the final performance of a 5-night engagement by the 88-year-old Broadway legend at the Carlyle Hotel, where she’s lived for a decade. After a 70-year stage career, she’s moving back to her native Michigan.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Kellie Pickler (“Dancing With the Stars”).
• Friars Club Roast (NYC) – Tonight the 2013 annual event ‘honors’ actor Jack Black, who’ll be skewered by his peers before getting the chance to return barbs.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/c5toy4c
• Hollywood Legends Auction (Beverly Hills CA) – Today & tomorrow this massive sell-off of over 800 items of movie memorabilia includes …
– William Shatner’s laser rifle from the 2nd pilot episode of “Star Trek” ($40,000-$60,000).
– The only surviving vehicle from the “Green Hornet” movie ($40,000-$60,000).
– A “Superman IV” Christopher Reeve flying costume ($20,000-$30,000).
– A flowerpot-shaped Munchkin hat from “The Wizard of Oz” ($8,000-$10,000).
– A Marilyn Monroe cocktail dress ($5000-$7000) and bra ($8,000-$10,000).
– A pair of Clark Gable’s “Gone With the Wind” loafers ($8,000-$10,000).
– Maureen O’Sullivan’s ‘Jane’ costume from “Tarzan” movies ($3,000-$5,000).
– Martial arts actor Bruce Lee’s nunchakus ($3,000-$5,000).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Divine Fits (“A Thing Called Divine Fits”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight White Arrows (“Dry Land Is Not A Myth”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Trace Adkins (“Love Will …”, out May 14th).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Cat Power (“Sun”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Yeah Yeah Yeahs (“Mosquito”, out April 16th).
• Lollapalooza Chile – Saturday-Sunday the festival returns to Santiago with Alabama Shakes, Black Keys, deadmau5, The Hives, Pearl Jam, and Queens Of the Stone Age among others.
• “Mad Men” (AMC) – Sunday the 2-hour 6th season debut, “The Doorway, Part 1”.
• NCAA Final Four Weekend (Atlanta GA) – Tonight-Sunday there’s a series of free “Big Dance” concerts at Centennial Olympic Park, featuring the likes of Dave Matthews Band, Flo Rida, Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, Ludacris, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Muse (“Madness” is the theme song for “March Madness” this year). The Final Four games are played Saturday at the Georgia Dome; the NCAA championship game is Monday night (CBS).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Melissa McCarthy (“Identity Thief”); musical guest Phoenix (“Bankrupt!”, out April 23rd).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight oldies singer Stephen Stills (CSN&Y).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Gin Wigmore (“Gravel & Wine”).
• “WWE Wrestlemania 29” (East Rutherford NJ) – Sunday the Pay-Per-View event is live from MetLife Stadium outside NYC. Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs performs.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Saturday & Sunday, reruns of this week’s continuing auditions.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beastie Boys – Mike D is planning to make his free food truck a permanent fixture in an area of Queens NY devastated by Superstorm Sandy last year. He’s teamed with top restaurateurs to bring more than 19,000 meals to the Rockaway area via the Rockaway Plate Lunch van.
• Beyoncé – She’ll be featured on the soundtrack of Baz Luhrmann’s remake of “The Great Gatsby” (in theaters May 10th), collaborating with Andre 3000 on a cover of Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black”. The film’s score is being compiled by Jay-Z and record producer The Bullitts.
• Chris Brown – Today another hearing is scheduled in LA regarding the 202 community service hours he may or may not have served as part of his sentence for assaulting Rihanna in 2009. At the last hearing, she stunned onlookers by accompanying Brown to court.
• Hunter Hayes – He’s premiering his new single “I Want Crazy” at the “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS) on Sunday.
• The Script – The Irish rockers are launching their own management & publishing company in order to nurture new musical talent. Guitarist Mark Sheehan tells Britain’s “Daily Star” to be able to bring new bands on tour or get them on stage during soundcheck is ‘a nice thing’.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Evil Dead” ( R-Rated Horror ): Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a “Book Of the Dead” leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. Stars Jane Levy (“Suburgatory”); co-stars Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci. Filmed in Detroit, Michigan and Auckland, New Zealand.
NET: http://www.evildead-movie.com
• “Jurassic Park” ( PG-13 3-D Sci-Fi Adventure Re-release ) – Director Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic gets the goofy glasses treatment. In case you’ve forgotten what it’s all about: A theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok … hijinks ensue. Stars Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough.
NET: http://www.jurassicpark.com/splashpage/index.php
• Opening in limited release: “The Brass Teapot” (Fantasy Comedy); “The Company You Keep” (Thriller); “Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal” (Horror Comedy); “Free Angela & All Political Prisoners” (Documentary); “No Place on Earth” (Documentary); “Simon Killer” (Drama); “6 Souls” (Horror Thriller); “Trance” (Crime Drama); and “Upstream Color” (Drama).

DECISION TIME:
Have a big decision to make? Researchers have found that we make our best decisions right after we wake up. Later, we suffer from ‘decision fatigue’ and make the quicker or easier decision, not necessarily the right one. (The first decision of the day … how am I gonna haul ass out of bed?)
– “Mental Floss”

MARRIED VS SINGLE:
Conventional thinking has it that single people are often pitied by their married friends. Seems that’s simply not true. A recent survey has found that married people think singles have more friends, more sex, lead exciting & interesting social lives, work hard to stay in shape, and are more career-minded. (Well yeah, but they’ll be missing the exciting family board-games night coming up on Saturday … pity!)
– Match.com

DEADLIEST PREDATOR:
African Lions are lucky to catch 25% of the prey they pursue; Great White Sharks only succeed about half the time. Dragonflies, by contrast, may look dainty, glittery and fun, yet new research suggests they may well be the most brutally effective hunters in the animal kingdom. Dragonflies manage to snatch their targets in midair more than 95% of the time. (Get the movie script ready!)
– NYTimes.com

HOW FAR DO PLAYERS RUN IN DIFFERENT SPORTS?
• Baseball – Most ball players won’t run 100 yards during the course of a game, unless you count the slow trot on and off the field between innings. Even if an outfielder hit 3 homers and chased balls like crazy on defense he probably wouldn’t break half-a-mile.
• Football – The players that run the most (cornerbacks, wide receivers) cover about 1.25 miles per game. But according to “Wall Street Journal”, players are only actually moving for 11 minutes on average during an entire game.
• Basketball – There’s an old wives’ tale that the average NBA player will run 5 miles every game. Not quite. Last season the player that ran the farthest per game was Luol Deng of the Chicago Bulls, who averaged 2.72 miles per game.
• Tennis – It’s not uncommon for a player to run more than 3 miles during a 5-set match, though in more extreme cases, players have run more than 5 miles. Considering the hundreds of sharp directional changes they’re making, it makes the knees scream just thinking about it.
• Soccer – Midfielders run the most, goalies not so much. It’s not uncommon for a player to average 7 miles per game. SportVU’s specialized motion tracking system has recorded extra-active players running as much as 9.5 miles in a single game.
– Condensed from Gizmodo.com

DID YOU KNOW?
In 1980 more than half of adults in France were consuming wine on a near-daily basis. Today that figure has fallen to 17% while the proportion of French who never drink wine at all has doubled to 38%. (Kinda takes away some of the aura of romance, non?)
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 04.05.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1966 [47] Mike McCready, Pensacola FL, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“The Fixer”, “World Wide Suicide”)

1967 [46] Troy Gentry, Lexington KY, country singer (Montgomery Gentry-“Roll With Me”, “Back When I Knew It All”)

1972 [41] Pat Green, San Antonio TX, country singer (“Let Me”, “Wave On Wave”)

1973 [40] Pharrell Williams, Virginia Beach VA, hip-hop artist (w/Ludacris-“Money Maker”, w/Snoop Dogg-“Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/music producer (Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z, Nelly, Usher among others)

SATURDAY –
Country music legend Merle Haggard (“Okie From Muskogee”) is 76; Alt-rock singer-guitarist Black Francis (The Pixies) is 48; Movie actor Paul Rudd (“Admission”) is 44; Movie director-actor Zach Braff (“Garden State”) is 38.

SUNDAY –
Movie director Francis Ford Coppola (“The Godfather”) is 74; Oldies singer John Oates (Hall & Oates) is 64; Movie actor Jackie Chan (“Rush Hour”) is 59; Movie actor Russell Crowe (“Les Misérables”) is 49.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Deep Dish Pizza Day”, celebrating the creation of Chicago’s Uno Chicago Grill, which opened in 1943. Why deep dish? Because you can’t possibly get enough fat-laden cheese and sausage onto a regular pie in order to cause immediate cardiac arrest.
• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, give it all or nothing, start giving 110%, let ‘er rip, balls to the wall!
• “Hospital Admitting Clerks Day”, an annual observance on the 1st Friday of April saluting those always smiling, always helpful frontline personnel at your local medical facility. (“Just wait over there until you hear your name called … about a month from now.”)
• “Road Map Day”, the highlight of “Reading a Road Map Week”, which promotes map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and survival skill. Who reads the map or GPS during your family trips?
• “Walk to Work Day”, observed annually on the first Friday of April. Whether or not it’s to work, the goal is to walk 30 minutes a day to ease stress and improve fitness.

SATURDAY –
• “Drowsy Driver Awareness Day”, an annual initiative to encourage motorists to take notice of when they’re too sleepy to steer. According to a recent poll, more than 10% of drivers admit to having fallen asleep at the wheel; and over 20% say they’ve momentarily dozed while driving.
• “International Pillow Fight Day”, when massive pillow fights are scheduled in cities worldwide from Amsterdam to Zurich. A listing of cities hosting events here …
NET: http://www.pillowfightday.com
• “Tartan Day”, the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320. It’s now the day that officially kicks off the annual Scottish tourism season.
NET: http://tartanday.org
• “Teflon Day”, commemorating the accidental 1938 discovery of the coating used to create non-stick surfaces by Du Pont researcher Roy Plunkett. How do they get it to stick to a pan?

SUNDAY –
• “International Beaver Day”, celebrating the species that restores the most valuable terrestrial ecosystem … wetlands. Organized by the nonprofit organization Beavers: Wetlands & Wildlife.
NET: http://www.beaversww.org
• “Metric System Day”, celebrating its 1795 adoption in France, where it was developed. The only 3 countries of any size in the world NOT using the system now: Liberia, Myanmar, USA.
• “No Housework Day”, an annual opportunity to avoid dishes, cleaning, taking out trash … and guilt!
• “World Health Day”, an initiative of the World Health Organization to highlight public health issues of international concern on the anniversary of the organization’s creation in 1948.
NET: http://www.who.int/world-health-day/en/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [26] FOX TV network debuts, originally offering just 2 Sunday night programs: “Married … With Children” (runs 10 years); “Tracey Ullman Show” (original platform for “The Simpsons”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [19] Alternative-rock icon Kurt Cobain commits suicide (his body is discovered inside his Seattle, Washington home 3 days later by an electrician)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [20] 1st female PA announcer at a Major League Baseball park (Sherry Davis wins the San Francisco Giants job over 499 others who audition)

TODAY’S FUTURE EVENT . . .
2063 [+50] Earth’s first contact by extraterrestrials (Vulcans), according to “Star Trek”

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [13] ‘Loudest Burp’ on record, according to “Guinness Book of Records” (Paul Hunn lets one fly that registers 118.1 decibels, the equivalent of sitting in the front row at a rock concert)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Buddha Day
[Mon] Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day
[Tues] Equal Pay Day
[Tues] Be Kind to Lawyers Day
[Tues] Cherish an Antique Day
[Tues] Former POW Recognition Day
This Week Is … Explore Your Career Options Week
This Month Is … Brussels Sprouts & Cabbage Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• If you have to push a button, is it really ‘automatic’?
• Do masochists enjoy dying?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, do the other trees laugh?
• Where do baby storks come from?
• When will New Jersey get new jerseys?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Girls who wear zippers shouldn’t live alone.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Now that it’s official that Jimmy Fallon’s in and Jay Leno’s out as NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show” host beginning next February, who should take over the “Late Night” slot now filled by Fallon?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: As men grow older, they do less of THIS.
Answer: Crying.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Cultivate happiness and it becomes a habit.


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