Thursday, April 7, 2016        Edition: #5704

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ It’s rough out there for the ‘gorgeous’, claims actress Charlize Theron. And she’s one of the ‘gorgeous’, in case you hadn’t figured that out. Theron, who is attractive enough to be on the cover of May’s “GQ”, tells the magazine in the accompanying interview that it’s not as easy as one might think to be an actress when you look like her, assuming you don’t want to get typecast early in your career. Quote: “How many roles are out there for the gorgeous, f—ing gown-wearing 8-foot model? When meaty roles come through, I’ve been in the room and pretty people get turned away first.” Well throw yourself a pity party, hon.
★ Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner are set to share a home together in London UK during filming for Ben’s 2nd ‘Batman’ movie, “Justice League: Part 1”. Despite their ongoing divorce proceedings after announcing their split last year, Ben & Jennifer have stayed on good terms and have continued to live in their LA family home together with their 3 children. They’re apparently intent on continuing the arrangement and sharing parenting duties when filming for the new superhero epic begins in Hertfordshire, England later this month.
★ Spanish director Pedro Almodovar (“Volver”) has cancelled all appearances to promote his new drama “Julieta” after his name’s been linked to the Panama Papers scandal. Pedro and his brother Agustin are mentioned in the leaked documents through their production company El Deseo. The files suggest lawyers at Mossack Fonseca managed an offshore company held by the siblings beginning in 1991. In addition to the Almodovars, other notable names mentioned in the papers include action movie actor Jackie Chan, soccer star Lionel Messi, and Iceland’s Prime Minister, Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson, who resigned Tuesday.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And actor Taye Diggs is lined up to host a new hypnosis game show. The former “Private Practice” star will front “You’re Back In the Room” for FOX-TV. The program features hypnotist Keith Berry as he hypnotizes contestants who work together in teams to complete common tasks, from blowing up balloons to frosting cakes, in an effort to win cash. “You’re Back In the Room” was the #1 new unscripted TV series in the UK last year, and has been an international hit, with versions produced in Australia, France, and The Netherlands.

• “American Idol” (FOX) – In the series finalé the last winner is declared. A tribute to the past 15 seasons includes appearances by original co-host Brian Dunkleman, viral sensation William Hung (“She Bangs”), former judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson; and many of the show’s top 3 contestants over the years. J-Lo performs her new single “Ain’t Your Mama”.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Nicki Minaj (“The Pinkprint”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – St Lucia (“Matter”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Dream Junkies (“Good Religion”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – M Ward (“More Rain”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Brandi Carlile (“Give Up the Ghost”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Ben Harper (“Call It What It Is”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Lumineers (“Cleopatra”, out Friday); rap pioneers Sugarhill Gang (“Rapper’s Delight”).

• Adele – She could be adding even more hardware to her mantle as she is nominated for 3 of Germany’s Echo Awards tonight. She’s nominated for ‘Album Of the Year’, ‘Best Female International Artist’, and ‘Hit Of the Year’ for “Hello”.
• Rascal Flatts – They’re planning to open a new eatery in a waterfront redevelopment in Cleveland OH that’s currently under construction. The venue, which has yet to be named, is described as an “eclectic space” mixing “country themes with rustic and industrial stylings”. It will feature a large patio area and indoor performance space.
• Taylor Swift – Appropriately, she will be the first recipient of the BMI Foundation’s new ‘Taylor Swift Award’, to be presented to creative talent with a global influence on music fans. She’ll pick up the inaugural honor at the “BMI Pop Awards” next month.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Intouchables” – Former “Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston and comedian/actor Kevin Hart are in negotiations to star in a Hollywood remake of this French-language film. Cranston would play a paraplegic aristocrat who hires a man from the projects to become his caregiver following a tragic paragliding accident. The original movie made over $410 million in 2011.
• “La La Land” –  This modern-day musical, starring Ryan Gosling & Emma Stone, marks director Damien Chazelle’s follow-up to the acclaimed indie drama “Whiplash”. Gosling plays a jazz pianist who falls for an aspiring actress, but as success mounts they are faced with decisions that begin to fray their relationship. The film opens this December.
• “Sorta Like a Rockstar” – Miguel Arteta (“The Good Girl”) is directing a bigscreen adaptation of the 2011 YA best-seller by Matthew Quick. The story centers on an upbeat teen who, despite challenges in her life (like being homeless and living in a school bus driven by her single, alcoholic mother) is relentlessly positive … until her mother is killed. No casting set as yet.
• “Spider-Man” – Singer/actress Zendaya has been cast in Marvel’s upcoming untitled reboot of the series, though her role has not yet been announced. She joins Brit actor Tom Holland who becomes the latest to play the superhero web-slinger. Jon Watts is directing; Marisa Tomei is attached to play ‘Aunt May’. The new film is due out in 2017.

Today an adoptable dog café opens in Los Angeles CA. Aptly named The Dog Café, the idea is to provide a fun and relaxed atmosphere for patrons to interact with the café’s pooches, who are all up for adoption. Café owner and doggie-do-gooder Sarah Wolfgang is working with animal shelters and other local organizations to vet the stray pups to make sure that they’re comfortable in large groups. From there, the dogs are being brought in on a rotating basis. The Dog Café charges a $10 entrance fee which allows patrons the chance to sip on Grounds & Hounds Coffee, ice tea, or lemonade while hanging out with the little tail-waggers. (“Woof you like milk and sugar with that?”)

This is no BS … The National Poo Museum is now open on the UK’s Isle of Wight. Its samples of feces range from scant insect excrement to gigantic elk and lion poop, as well as the doo-doo from a human baby. The crap curators have placed the fetid samples in illuminated resin spheres that include related facts hidden behind toilet lids. The museum even includes fossilized feces dating back some 38 million years. Part of the Isle of Wight Zoo, the museum also covers the more metaphorically gross side of dung, such as the diseases spread due to lack of toilets or proper sanitation. Curator Nigel George says that small children naturally delight in the topic. The exhibition is set to go on tour this Summer. (“This weekend at the Science Center, it’s ‘Poo on View’!”.)
– BBC News

• 40% of North American adults are sleep deprived, getting less than the recommended minimum of 7 hours per night.
• Not getting enough sleep very visibly shows on your skin. It can cause fine lines and wrinkles to increase by 45%, blemishes by 13%, and redness by 8%.
• Sleep deprivation increases appetite, one study finding that sleep-restricted subjects eat an extra 559 calories per day on average.
• Getting more sleep can lead to more sex (for women). Each additional hour of sleep has been correlated with a 14% rise in the likelihood of having sexual activity with a partner.
• After being awake 17-to-19 hours, you may experience cognitive impairment similar to having a blood alcohol level of .05%.
• Car accidents caused by sleepiness have a fatality rate and injury severity level similar to those caused by alcohol.
• The incidence of death from all causes increases by 15% when you sleep less than 5 hours a night.
– Excerpted from the new book, “The Sleep Revolution”, by Arianna Huffington


1939 [77] Francis Ford Coppola, Detroit MI, movie director (Oscars-“The Godfather I & II”, “Apocalypse Now”)/father of filmmaker Sofia Coppola (“Lost in Translation”)

1948 [68] John Oates, NYC, oldies singer (Hall & Oates-“I Can’t Go For That”, “Maneater”)

1954 [62] Jackie (Yuan Lung) Chan, Hong Kong, movie actor-producer-director-stuntman (“Kung Fu Panda” films, “Rush Hour” series)

1964 [52] Russell Crowe, Wellington NZ, movie actor (“Noah”, Oscar-“Gladiator”)  UP NEXT: Co-stars with Ryan Gosling in “The Nice Guys”, opening May 20th.

1985 [31] Ben McKee, Forestville CA, rock bassist-vocalist (Imagine Dragons-“I Bet My Life”, “Radioactive”)

1988 [28] Ed Speleers, Chichester UK, TV actor (“Downton Abbey” 2012-14)  UP NEXT: Disney film “Alice Through the Looking Glass”, opening May 27th.

• “Beer Day”, an unofficial holiday in the US marking the day in 1933 when Americans could legally buy, sell, and drink beer for the first time in 13 years thanks to Prohibition.

• “Empowered Women Entrepreneurs Day”, a day to tell a female friend or family member how proud you are of them for operating their own business.

• “International Beaver Day”, celebrating the species that restores the most valuable terrestrial ecosystem … wetlands. Organized by the nonprofit organization Beavers: Wetlands & Wildlife.

• “Metric System Day”, celebrating its 1795 adoption in France, where it was first developed. The only 3 countries in the world NOT using the system now: Liberia, Myanmar, USA. Myanmar (Burma) is taking steps to adopt it officially.

• “No Housework Day”, an annual opportunity to avoid dishes, cleaning, taking out trash … and guilt!

• “World Health Day”, an initiative of the World Health Organization to highlight public health issues of international concern on the anniversary of the organization’s creation in 1948.

2012 [04] Mike Wallace, longtime “60 Minutes” journalist (1968-2006) on CBS-TV, dies at age 93 in New Canaan CT

2008 [08] Oldies singer Olivia Newton-John begins a walk across the entire length of China’s Great Wall to raise funds for breast cancer research (takes 3 weeks to cover the 141 miles)

2015 [01] The original 16-page draft manuscript of Don McLean’s 1972 mega-hit “American Pie” sells for $1.2 million at a Christie’s auction in NYC

2008 [08] Bob Dylan becomes the 1st pop/rock music artist to win a Pulitzer Prize

[Fri] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (Brooklyn NY)
[Fri] “The Boss”; “Hardcore Henry” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Baby Massage Day
[Sun] “MTV Movie Awards” (MTV)
This Week Is … Bat Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month


You’ve likely heard: Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear; beer before liquor, get drunk quicker. But have you heard these rules-of-thumb regarding drinking?
• Tequila Sunrise at morning, sailors take warning.
• Hot Toddys before Whisky Sours, dangerously thin blood within hours.
• Rye before Vermouth, pass out in a tollbooth.
• Appletinis before Guinness, start a small business.
• Cosmos before body shots of sake, excitedly sleep with someone stocky.
• Long Island Iced Teas before vodka-soaked Gummi Bears, throw up on the stairs.
• Tom Collins before a bucket of mead, forget how to read.
• Pilsners before absinthe, get stuck in a labyrinth.
• Accidentally swallow a cup of mouthwash before eating a scoop of dry margarita mix, get robbed at knife-point trying to scalp Bob Seger tix.
• Rubbing alcohol cut with a Kool-Aid Jammer before NyQuil before jungle juice, party forever by yourself. Party. Alone. Forever.
– Thanks to Sam Weiner

After the wedding [my son] asked me why the bride changed her mind. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Well, she went down the aisle with one guy and came back with another.”

☎ Birthday dinners … should they stop? A while back people started celebrating their birthdays by inviting friends out to dinner then splitting the tab, with pals paying for the guest of honor. Is this a good tradition? A bit narcissistic, is it not? And how can an invitee possibly say ‘no’?

Question: In just under half of all marriages, THIS is now true.
Answer: The wife makes more than the husband.

Living on Earth is expensive … but it does include a free trip around the Sun.

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