Wednesday, April 8, 2015        Edition: #5425

Sheet Happens!

★ Ryan Gosling premiered his directorial debut “Lost River” at the Cannes International Film Festival in France last year but it was panned by critics, one branding the movie “mouth-dryingly lousy”. Gosling remained tight-lipped over the poor reviews, but now has revealed he refuses to let negative remarks about his work get him down. Quote: “I read those reviews and gave them two thumbs down.” “Lost River”, which stars “Mad Men” actress Christina Hendricks as a single mother drawn into the dark underworld in a mysterious town, opens in limited release on Friday.
– “Culture Magazine”
★ Nina Dobrev has quit “The Vampire Diaries” (CW). The 26-year-old Bulgarian-born actress has announced she’s done at the end of the currently running 6th season (finalé airs May 14th). In fact, she’s already staged a party to say goodbye to the cast & crew. She’s also taken to  Instagram to thank the show’s “passionate fans” and promises the remainder of Season 6 will be great viewing. A 7th season is already in the works, with Paul Wesley, Ian Somerhalder, and Elena Gilbert expected to return.
★ Aussie model Lara Bingle & her actor-partner Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) welcomed their 1st child last month, and reportedly named the boy ‘Rocket Zot’. The unique moniker has drawn some cruel comments from detractors on social media and in tabloids, and Bingle has now hit back at one columnist for taking the criticism too far. On Facebook she defends the baby’s name, saying: “My son’s middle name is a respectful nod to my late father, whose nickname was affectionately Zot.” Bingle & Worthington have been together since 2013 and are rumored to have secretly tied the knot last year.
★ And “Game of Thrones” author George RR Martin is developing a new sci-fi TV series called “Captain Cosmos”. The writer has inked a 2-year development deal with HBO, which airs the “Game of Thrones” TV adaptation. The new show will be set at the dawn of the age of TV in 1949 and follows a visionary young writer who creates a science-fiction series that tells stories no one else will dare to tell. Martin reportedly came up with the idea while working on the long-awaited 6th instalment of his “A Song of Ice & Fire” saga. Meantime, “GoT” Season 5 is set to launch around-the-world this weekend.
– “Entertainment Weekly”

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The top 7 compete; performances by Florida Georgia Line, Jason Derulo, and Iggy Azalea w/Jennifer Hudson.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Brian Wilson (“No Pier Pressure”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Mark Ronson w/Mystikal (“Feel Right”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (“Up From Below”); Willie Nelson (“December Day”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Hundred Waters (“Moon Rang Like a Bell”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Delta Rae (“Carry the Fire”); Pharrell Williams (“GIRL”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tove Lo (“Queen Of the Clouds”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Flo Rida (“My House”, released yesterday).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Artists moving through to the live shows are announced; a performance by Wiz Khalifa w/Chris Jamison.

• Aerosmith – Steven Tyler has officially inked a deal with Dot Records to release his 1st-ever country album. Quote: “My earliest influences put me somewhere between the Everly Bros and the Carter Family, and this project is all about me paying homage to my country roots.” No release date has yet been announced.
• Avril Lavigne – The 30-year-old has been bedridden fighting Lyme disease for 5 months, but now she’s working towards a new release for the holiday season. Quote: “I’ve always wanted to make a Christmas album, but I’ve never had the time.” (BS translation: Nothing else seems to be selling.)
• Don McLean – The original manuscript of his iconic 1971 mega-hit “American Pie” went up for auction in NYC yesterday, evaluated at $1.5 million. The 18 pages of handwritten notes include a lost ending, describing how “the music was reborn”.
• Interpol – Their new North American tour begins tonight in Tucson AZ and runs up to July 31st in Montréal QC. The trek includes make-up dates for shows the band missed last year while stranded in their tour bus during a blizzard.
• Maroon 5 – This week Adam Levine and company wrapped up the North American leg of their “V Tour” in Anaheim CA. Now they’re heading overseas to the UK and Spain.
• One Direction – After finishing up the Asian leg of their “On the Road Again Tour” over the weekend, they’ve returned home to the UK to work on their next album. They’re planning on completing their 5th studio album before their next string of dates begins in June. They’ve reportedly been writing material with rapper Juicy J and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger.
• The Prodigy – They’ve scored their 1st chart-topping album in the UK since 2009 with “The Day is My Enemy”. It’s their 6th #1 album in Britain since their 1994 debut “Music For the Jilted Generation”.
• Usher – He’s posted videos on Instagram showing him in a blue gown and plastic cap awaiting surgery in a hospital bed; then later more clips showing him relaxing on a couch at home with his foot in a cast. No details about the problem have been revealed.

Actress Shailene Woodley colors her lips with … beets. The 23-year-old “Insurgent” star is a big fan of natural beauty products and says she cooks the vibrant vegetable to use as an alternative to lipstick. Quote: “I roast them first and then just dab a little of the juice on my lips with my finger.” Meantime, former “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively says her mom taught her to put oil or mayonnaise on the bottom half of her hair before showering so that soap and shampoo don’t strip it and dry it out. And “12 Years a Slave” actress Lupita Nyong’o combats dry skin naturally as well. Quote: “I use avocado oil to take off my makeup, which helps keep my face moisturized.” (And what food do you mash on your face?)
– “Bon Appetit Magazine”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 60% of us say we’ve had to clean the toilet in a hotel room at least once.
• 50% of us make our coffee on workdays instead of buying takeout in order to save money.
• 22% of us would not be willing to change the side of bed we sleep on.
• 20% of women say the thing they’d most like to change about their man is … his hairstyle.
• 19% of office workers go out for lunch; the rest eat in.
• 16% of us admit we keep books around the house just for show.

What’s the likely name for William & Kate’s 2nd child? The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge are expected to choose a traditional royal name … but maybe not the name of a former monarch, like older brother Prince George. If British bookies are right – and they were the last time – the next royal baby will be Alice, Charlotte, or Elizabeth if it’s a girl; and if it turns out to be a boy, James or Arthur – a middle name for both William and his father Charles – are the betting front-runners at the moment. Royal tradition leaves little room for originality when it comes to naming a baby who will be 4th in line to the British throne … so a Princess Samantha or Prince Lance are unlikely. Kate is expecting in mid- to late-April. (C’mon, be inclusive… Prince Ali!)
– CBC News

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Decacorn’ – A term coined by “Bloomberg Business” for a technology company less than 10 years old and worth over $10 billion. Among them: Airbnb, Dropbox, Pinterest, Snapchat, Uber.
• ‘Leaning Rail’ – A horizontal bar placed at the side of the road for cyclists to hold while waiting for a stoplight.
• ‘Tiny Houser’ – A person who lives in a very small house, or who is an enthusiast of very small houses.

A woman who’s been unable to get in touch with her husband will be allowed to serve him divorce papers … on Facebook. A Manhattan Supreme Court justice is allowing her to serve divorce papers through a Facebook Message, since it’s one of the only ways she’s been able to get in touch with him since they split in 2009. Her attorney will have to message the divorce summons once a week for 3 weeks or until the message is acknowledged. This appears to be an exceptional circumstance rather than a new norm for how divorce papers can be served. The woman’s husband reportedly hasn’t had a permanent address since 2011. Apparently, the first Facebook message has already gone out … without response. (What’s the strangest way you’ve heard of someone being served court papers?)

According to a new “Radio Times” reader survey …
1. ‘Alien’ – “Alien” movies
2. ‘Skeleton Army’ – “Jason & The Argonauts”
3. ‘The Thing’ – “The Thing”
4. ‘Freddy Kruger’ – “Nightmare on Elm Street” films
5. ‘Jaws the Shark’ – “Jaws”
6. ‘Dracula’ – “Dracula” films
7. ‘Godzilla’ – “Godzilla” movies
8. ‘Pale Man’ – “Pan’s Labyrinth”
9. ‘Dementor’ – “Harry Potter” films
10. ‘Chucky’ – “Child’s Play” movies
– Bang Showbiz

Rice is less calorific if you boil it with coconut oil and refrigerate it for half-a-day before eating.
– BBC News


1963 [52] Dean Norris, South Bend IN, TV actor (‘Big Jim Rennie’ on “Under the Dome” since 2013, “Breaking Bad” 2008-13)

1966 [49] Robin Wright, Dallas TX, TV actress (‘Claire Underwood’ on “House of Cards” since 2013)/movie actress (“Forrest Gump”)

1968 [47] Patricia Arquette, Chicago IL, movie actress (2015 Oscar-“Boyhood”)/TV actress (Emmy-“Medium” 2005-11)  COMING UP: Starting in March, she plays ‘Special Agent Avery Ryan’ in the new “CSI” spinoff series, “CSI: Cyber”.

1981 [34] Taylor Kitsch, Kelowna BC, movie actor (“X-Men Origins: Wolverine”)/TV actor (“Friday Night Lights” 2006-11)  UP NEXT: Season 2 of “True Detective”, expected to premiere in mid-2015.

1984 [31] Ezra Koenig, NYC, indie rock singer-guitarist (Vampire Weekend-“A-Punk”)

• “Birthday Of the Buddha” (563 BC), celebrated in Taiwan, Hawaii, Korea and elsewhere. Considered the most important Buddhist holiday. The celebration is variously known as “Buddha’s Birthday” and “Hana Matsuri” (“Flower Festival” in Japan).

• “Dog Fighting Awareness Day”, initiated by the SPCA to increase awareness and encourage animal-lovers to take action against this brutal form of cruelty.

• “International Be Kind to Lawyers Day”, because they get a lot of grief … just for being lawyers. Jokes are made about them and they consistently rank as one of the least respected professions on the planet. Is it too much to ask to be nice to lawyers for just one day? Well …

• “International Day Of the Roma”, begun in 1990 to celebrate Romani culture and raise awareness of the issues facing Romani people, commonly misnamed ‘gypsies’.

• “International Feng Shui Awareness Day” [fung schway], celebrating the oriental ‘art of placement’ in which architecture and interiors are situated to blend with their surroundings in order to create greater harmony.

• “Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day”.  After all, why should adults have to give up their precious trading cards just because they get older?

1990 [25] Cult drama “Twin Peaks” premieres on ABC-TV (a Showtime reboot is in the works, though it’s running into numerous difficulties)

2014 [01] WWE Hall of Fame wrestler ‘Ultimate Warrior’ (James Hellwig) dies of a heart attack at age 54 in Scottsdale AZ (the latest in a long line of wrestlers to die prematurely)

1994 [21] The body of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain is found, the victim of a self-inflicted shotgun blast (it’s later determined the event occurred several days earlier, likely April 5th)

2006 [09] Rolling Stones make their China debut, performing a 2-hour show in front of 8,000 fans at the Shanghai Grand Stage

2013 [02] ‘ISIS’ is created as the Islamic State of Iraq enters the Syrian Civil War by declaring a merger with the Al-Nusra Front under the name ‘Islamic State of Iraq & ash-Sham’

2005 [10] Over 4 million people attend the funeral of Pope John Paul II

[Thurs] The Masters Tournament begins (Augusta GA)
[Thurs] Country Thunder begins (Florence AZ)
[Fri] Coachella Festival opens (Indio CA)
[Sat] World Parkinson’s Disease Day
[Sun] “MTV Movie Awards” (MTV)
This Week Is … Window Safety Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Greyhound Month


Tasty new options to take out at the ball game …
• Dungeness Crab Sandwich [AT&T Park, San Francisco CA] – Local crab, lightly dressed with mayo and piled onto classic San Francisco sourdough.
• Fish Tacos [Dodger Stadium, LA CA] – Beer-battered fish tacos, served up with corn tortillas, pico de gallo, chili lime crema, and cilantro slaw.
• Cheese Curds [Miller Park, Milwaukee WI] – Sure you want brats & brews in the ballpark famous for them. But for a true taste of Wisconsin, bite into these fried chunks of mild cheese.
• Turkey Leg [Target Field, Minneapolis MN] – Not your typical ballpark fare … a smoked, grilled, Target Field turkey leg.
• Elote Corn [US Cellular Field, Chicago IL] – Cubs fans can now go South of the Border with a side of Mexican-style elote … corn tossed with butter, lime, chili powder, mayo, and cheese.
• Pulled Pork Sandwich [Citi Field, Queens NY] – This succulent pulled pork sandwich that’s new to the Mets ballpark is from Blue Smoke’s Danny Meyer.
• Fajitas [Minute Maid Park, Houston TX] – Bryan Caswell, a onetime “Next Iron Chef” contender, brings his chicken and beef fajitas to the Astros’ field this season.
• The Ichiroll [Safeco Field, Seattle WA] – Sushi at a ballpark? Sounds suspect, but Ichiro Suzuki’s fans swear by this spicy tuna roll with daikon radish sprouts and black sesame seeds.
– Condensed from

☎ Have you ever taken on a DIY project that ended in disaster? (About 80% of us have.) What happened?

I tried Flintstone Vitamins. I didn’t feel any better … but I could stop the car with my feet.

Question: About 1-in-10 men have never done THIS.
Answer: Worn a tuxedo.

When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.

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