Friday, April 29, 2022 — Edition: #7220
The BS Press!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ After a literal decade of waiting, fans will finally get their first look at the “Avatar 2” trailer next week. Disney has announced that the trailer for “Avatar: The Way of Water” will debut exclusively in theaters, before showings of “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” which opens next Friday. The trailer will be released online the following week. The first footage from the “Avatar” sequel premiered in 3D at CinemaCon, displaying dazzling advances in underwater cinematography since the first “Avatar” broke box office records in 2009. The OG film is being re-released in theaters Sept. 23, and Avatar: The Way of Water is slated for release on Dec. 16.
-TheWrap
★ Apple has announced it will be releasing a new documentary about the life and career of Michael J. Fox. From “An Inconvenient Truth” director Davis Guggenheim, the film “will incorporate documentary, archival and scripted elements,” and “will recount Fox’s extraordinary story: the improbable tale of an undersized kid from a Canadian army base who rose to the heights of stardom in 1980s Hollywood.” After breaking out with the sitcom “Family Ties” in the early ’80s, Fox went on to become a box office sensation with 1985’s “Back to the Future”. Apple says the doc will also unspool Fox’s “never-before-seen private journey, including the years that followed his diagnosis, at 29, with Parkinson’s disease.” Fox retired from acting in 2020 due to declining health. Production is already underway in New York, Los Angeles, and Vancouver.
-ETCanada
★ Howie Mandel is happy to be out of quarantine after contracting COVID-19, but says his time in lockdown almost drove him insane. Mandel was on “TMZ Live”, and spoke about his struggle with the virus, which he contracted during his first public outing as life returned to normal — the “Kids Choice Awards”. For Mandel, who is vaccinated, the physical symptoms weren’t bad, but the collateral damage to his mental health was real. He’s a proponent of talking about these struggles, and says being vulnerable about your mental health is important now more than ever.
-TMZ
★ Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson has landed a starring role in a new comedy series. The comedian is co-writing, executive producing, and starring in “Bupkis”, a new half-hour comedy for Peacock which is loosely based on his own life, but heavily fictionalized and exaggerated. SNL creator Lorne Michaels also serves as an executive producer on the series, which is said to take inspiration from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” in its approach. No premiere date has been announced.
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jimmy Kimmel: Magic Johnson, Naomi Scott, Girl in Red (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Shawn Mendes, Jesse Tyler Ferguson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Molly Shannon, Rep. Cori Bush (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bob Odenkirk, Edi Patterson, Walk the Moon (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Darren Criss, guest co-host Jane Lynch
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tom Cavanagh
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): David Spade, Susan Yeagley & Galia Gichon
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sterling K. Brown, Nick & Vanessa Lachey, guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Laura Linney, Gabriel Iglesias, PJ Morton
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Anthony Anderson, Vanessa Bayer, Emmy Eaton
• “2022 NFL Draft” (ABC/ESPN): Coverage of rounds 2-3 of the draft, live from Las Vegas
• “Come Dance With Me” (CBS): Bust a Groove Night Part 1
SATURDAY-
• “Renovation Goldmine” (HGTV): Series premiere. Meg and Joe Piercy help a family turn their dated kitchen into a modern gathering place.
• “I Bought a Dump… Now What?” (HGTV): Series premiere. Three duos who bought dilapidated houses begin demolitions in hopes of uncovering their own diamond in the rough.
• “The Walls Are Watching” (LIFETIME): A young couple’s dream home becomes a living nightmare when the former owner returns with a vengeance.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Ariana DeBose, with musical guest Bleachers
SUNDAY-
• “American Idol” (ABC): Disney Night
• “Duncanville” (FOX): Season 3 premiere
• “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” (BRAVO): Season 14 premiere
• “Naked and Afraid XL” (DSC): Season 8 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Halsey – has been hospitalized “multiple times” recently, and will be “taking a step back”. Alongside a bed selfie, the 27-year-old wrote: “Trying my best to keep things normal; Grammys, Coachella etc., But my body is putting up a strong protest. And…demanding that I slow down or stop foreal this time.” The artist has been open about their ongoing health issues related to endometriosis.
• Bad Bunny – has been cast as the newest Marvel superhero. The rapper, real name Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, will lead the standalone comic book film “El Muerto.” He’ll be the first ever Latino actor to headline a live-action Marvel movie.
• Justin Bieber — Wednesday, he dropped a gag video for a short song called ‘I Feel Funny’, in which he jokes around on the set of another video, wearing an orange ski mask, and appearing to annoy the crew. Rapper Don Toliver makes a cameo in the video, which ends by teasing a collab between the two on a single called ‘Honest’, which Bieber promises is “coming very very very soon.” LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUcvdGfGEj0
• The Black Keys — have released ‘It Ain’t Over’, another new song from their upcoming album “Dropout Boogie”. Dropout Boogie arrives May 13, and includes several guest appearances, including ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC5GxpxQS9w&t=1s
• Robert Plant – will appear on Americana artist Patty Griffin’s new album “TAPE”, out June 10. The LP is a collection of demos and home recordings. The unnamed duet with Plant was part of the pair’s first recording session in Nashville several years ago. They worked together in Band of Joy in 2010.
• Foreigner – helped raise more than $100,000 for Ukrainian relief efforts during its 3-week Vegas residency. The group donated $5,000 from each show to the American Red Cross Ukrainian relief efforts, and provided hand-signed guitars to concertgoers who donated $1,000 or more.
• Brandi Carlile — revealed in an Instagram video that COVID-19 “finally got” her, and she has had to cancel her planned set at Stagecoach this weekend. She was set to perform at the Indio CA festival tonight, with Thomas Rhett headlining, and Maren Morris and Midland also high up on the bill. Carrie Underwood will headline day 2, and Luke Combs wraps the festival Sunday night.
• Lauren Alaina – went full-fangirl about meeting “Yellowstone” star Luke Grimes. On Twitter, she posted a pic of herself and Grimes (who plays ‘Kayce Dutton’), and wrote: “Dutton get much better than running into Kayce at the @opry.” (Good pun!)
• Jimmie Allen – has unveiled the lineup for the 2nd annual Bettie James Fest on Aug. 13 in Allen’s hometown of Milton DE. This year’s performers include Lainey Wilson, We The Kings, Neon Union, Chayce Beckham, JJ Rupp and Kounty. Allen will once again headline the festival, which he established in honor of his late grandmother (Bettie Snead) and late father (James Allen). Tickets go on sale today.
• Rascal Flatts — Gary LeVox told an interviewer that the group once had the chance to record the song ‘Fly Over States” but passed on it. The song went on to become a #1 hit for Jason Aldean, and also hit the top-40 on the Billboard Hot 100 pop chart. No word on why Rascal Flatts decided not to record it.
SHOOTING THE BULL
THIS WEEK’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Memory” (R, Action/Thriller): Caught in a moral quagmire, an expert assassin refuses to complete a job that violates his code, and must quickly hunt down and kill the people who hired him before they and an FBI agent find him first. (Liam Neeson, Guy Pearce, Monica Belucci)
• “Firebird” (R, Drama/Romance. limited): Based on a true story. During the cold war, a young Soviet soldier who dreams of becoming an actor in Moscow has his life turned upside down when he locks eyes with a sexy, enigmatic ace fighter pilot, who is newly assigned to his base. (Tom Prior, Oleg Zagorodnii)
• “The Aviary” (R, Thriller, limited): Lured in by the promise of “freedom” in an isolated desert campus, 2 women desperately try to escape the clutches of an insidious cult. Consumed by fear and paranoia, they can’t shake the feeling that they are being followed by the cult’s leader. (Malin Akerman, Lorenza Izzo, Chris Messina)
WHO JUICED IN YOUR CEREAL?
Are you ready for this? Tropicana has announced a new cereal designed to be eaten in a bowl – with orange juice! The fruit company says followers of its Instagram page will have the chance to win a box of Tropicana Crunch, described as “the first cereal made for OJ (and maybe the last).” On its website, Tropicana said of the honey-almond flavored concoction: “Prepare your mind and cereal bowl for an unforgettable breakfast experience.” Specifics on the giveaway will be revealed May 4 on the Tropicana Instagram page. LINK: https://www.instagram.com/p/CcxnLjkFhkg/
(I’ve gotta admit, when I was younger, and there was no milk in the house, I used to put OJ on my cereal and watch Saturday cartoons all the time. God, I miss my bachelor days!)
(And stay tuned, because next, they’re going to come up with a toothpaste chaser!)
(Am I ready for this? I don’t think ANYONE is ready for this!)
-UPI
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A popular YouTuber has had his pilot license revoked after intentionally crashing his plane and filming his parachute escape for views. In Nov., Trevor Jacob, an Olympic snowboarder turned Youtuber, crashed his small propeller airplane into the mountains of California’s Los Padres National Forest. The exact moment his propeller stopped working was caught on camera, as was his jump from the plane and deployment of a life-saving parachute. Three weeks later, he posted a YouTube video titled “I Crashed My Plane”, which quickly went viral, amassing over 2 million views. Following a probe, the FAA revoked his license, pointing out that he never tried to restart the plane, and had attached multiple cameras to the exterior of the plane before takeoff. (And he just HAPPENED to be wearing a parachute…)
➢ A woman was rescued by 2 fire crews after falling headfirst into a vault toilet while trying to retrieve her cellphone at a park in Washington state. The woman in her mid-40s was using an outhouse at Mount Walker, a popular destination for hikers, when the accident occurred. A vault toilet is a waterless, non-flush toilet commonly used at outdoor locations — so named because they store waste in an airtight vault underground. After dropping her phone, the woman disassembled the seat and housing of the toilet, then used a dog leash to try to “fish it out.” But the attempt failed, and she slid into the toilet. Fortunately, after 20 minutes inside the vault, she was able to find and use her phone to call 911. She was uninjured. (I’ve heard of using your phone while ON the toilet . . . but IN the toilet?)
-OddityCentral, CNN
MOST VIEWED YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF ALL TIME:
1. ‘Baby Shark Dance’ – Pinkfong Kids’ Songs & Stories (10.53 billion views)
2. ‘Despacito’ — Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee (7.82 billion)
3. ‘Johny Johny Yes Papa – LooLoo Kids – (6.31 billion)
4. ‘Shape of You’ — Ed Sheeran (5.69 billion)
5. ‘See You Again’ — Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth — (5.48 billion)
6. ‘Bath Song’ – Cocomelon Nursery Rhymes (5.27 billion) [American educational]
7. ‘Phonics Song with Two Words’ – ChuChu TV (4.58 billion) [Indian educational]
8. ‘Learning Colors – Colorful Eggs on a Farm’ – Miroshka TV (4.56 billion) [Russian educational]
9. ‘Uptown Funk’ — Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars (4.54 billion)
10. ‘Masha and the Bear – Recipe for Disaster’ – Get Movies (4.49 billion) [Russian children’s cartoon]
(I’m just happy that my obsessive watching of “Bridgerton” hasn’t caused it to show up here!)
-Wikipedia, DigitalTrends
DID YOU KNOW?
What was Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey’s reaction to the news that Elon Musk is buying his company? He chose to express himself in the form of a Radiohead song. Dorsey seemed to show his support for Musk by tweeting out the song ‘Everything in Its Right Place’. Before Musk’s purchase, Dorsey still owned a little more than 2% of Twitter. (At least he chose not to go with ‘Creep’!)
-Consequence
BS CHRONOMETER 04.29.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Viral Video Day”, excluding music, “Masha and the Bear – Recipe for Disaster” holds the title of most-watched viral video, with 4.49 billion views. (***See “Most-Watched Videos of all Time, Above***)
• “Zipper Day”, It was in 1851 that Elias Howe, the inventor of the sewing machine, received a patent for an “Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure.” He never made an attempt to market his invention and missed the recognition he may have received. (You might say he preferred to “fly” under the radar…)
• “World Wish Day”, marking the day Chris Greicius was granted his wish to be a police officer, inspiring the creation of Make-A-Wish and its global wish-granting mission. Since Chris’ wish in 1980, more than 520,000 children around the world have had theirs granted by Make-A-Wish.
• “Shrimp Scampi Day”, celebrating the tasty dish that mixes sautéed shrimp with garlic, shallots, parsley and oregano; drenches it all with wine & brandy, then lights ’er up. Bring it on!
• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance. (I tried to think of a joke about high-school dances, but I kept getting stuck at the ‘punch line’…)
• “We Jump the World Day”, dedicated to the art of Parkour, also known as “free running”. Enthusiasts credit it with giving them a fresh attitude toward obstacles in their lives. (Doing parkour is just like talking to women — I can’t do parkour…)
SATURDAY-
• “Adopt a Shelter Pet Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of strays. On a sadder note, the SPCA observes a moment of silence for the thousands of dogs and cats euthanized each year because they are unable to find homes.
• “International Jazz Day”, initiated in 2012 by UNESCO to celebrate the music form and its influence in promoting peace and intercultural dialogue. The 2022 All-Star Global Concert today will feature dozens of internationally acclaimed artists from jazz and world music, with With Herbie Hancock serving as host and artistic director. It’ll be streamed at: https://jazzday.com/
• “Honesty Day”, created by author M. Hirsh Goldberg in the early 1990s after spending 4 years researching & writing “The Book of Lies”. Goldberg thought that April, which begins with a big day of lying (April Fool’s Day), should end on a higher moral note. (***See “BS Signs You’re too Honest”, below***)
• “Spank Out Day”, initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching appropriate behavior to kids.
• “Bugs Bunny Day”, Bugs made his debut in a cartoon called “Porky’s Hare Hunt” on this date in 1938. Perhaps the reason people don’t recognize Bugs from that early cartoon is that he was credited as “Happy Rabbit.” (***Bugs soundbites: https://tinyurl.com/yckjj27f ***)
• “Oatmeal Cookie Day”, They’ve been around since the 1800s. By the early 1900s, a recipe for the delicious treats appeared on containers of Quaker Oats. Oatmeal cookies are considered health food because they’re an excellent source of iron and fiber. Just another reason to have one today!
SUNDAY-
• “May Day”, a traditional spring celebration since ancient times. Since 1889, it’s been officially observed in about 66 countries as a “Labor Day” holiday.
• “Lei Day”, celebrated in Hawaii instead of May Day. It is a time to celebrate native Hawaiian culture. One of the most common flowers used in leis is the orchid.
• “Couple Appreciation Day”, a day for those who are in a relationship to do something to show their appreciation for their partner (or partners!).
• “Mother Goose Day”, which actually honors many different writers. The term was first used in the title of the nursery rhyme collection “Mother Goose’s Melody” in about 1765. The name caught on, and nursery rhymes have been attributed to ‘Mother Goose’ ever since.
• “School Principals Day”. It’s a dirty job but some sadist has gotta do it! (How do you remember the correct spelling? Just remember that he/she is always your ‘pal’!)
• “Chocolate Parfait Day”. Parfait literally means “perfect” in French! The American style layers parfait cream, ice cream and flavored gelatin in a tall, clear glass topped with whipped cream, fruit and liqueurs. (Sounds “parfait” to me!)
• “Law Day”. This day allows all Americans to reflect on the personal rights and liberties which are enjoyed and exercised daily.
• “New Homeowner’s Day”. Congratulations, you’ll be debt-free in about 30 years! Got your repair manual yet?
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [89] Willie Nelson, Abbott TX, country singer (‘Always On My Mind’, ‘On the Road Again’)
1947 [75] Tommy James, Dayton OH, pop-rock singer (Tommy James and the Shondells-‘Mony, Mony’, ‘Crimson and Clover’, ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’)
1954 [68] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, comedian/TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)/comedian (web series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” 2012-present, now on Netflix)
1955 [67] Kate Mulgrew, Dubuque IA, TV actress (‘Red’ on “Orange Is the New Black” 2013-18, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1995-2001)
1955 [66] Leslie Jordan, Chattanooga TN, TV actor (“Will & Grace” 2001-20, “Call Me Kat” 2021)
1957 [65] Daniel Day-Lewis, London England, movie actor (2012 Oscar-“Lincoln”, 2008 Oscar-“There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-“My Left Foot”)
1958 [64] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, movie actress (‘Catwoman’ in “Batman Returns”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)/TV actress (“American Horror Story: Hotel” 2015)
1963 [59] Mike Babcock, Manitouwadge ON, NHL Coach (Toronto, Anaheim, Detroit)/Stanley Cup winner 2008/coached Team Canada to gold at the IIHF World Championships in 2004, 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, 2014 Olympics in Sochi, and 2016 World Cup of Hockey
1970 [52] Andre Agassi, Las Vegas NV, retired pro tennis player (Olympic gold 1996, 8 Grand Slam titles, career winnings: $31 million)/married to Steffi Graf since 2001
1970 [52] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, movie actress (“Kill Bill” movies, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)
1983 [39] Megan Boone, Petoskey MI, TV actress (‘Elizabeth Keen’ on “The Blacklist” 2013-21)
SATURDAY- Former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is 63; Chris Henderson (3 Doors Down) is 51; Johnny Galecki (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 47; Kunal Nayyar (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 41; Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) is 40; Gal Gadot (“Wonder Woman”) is 37; Dianna Agron (“Glee”) is 36; Travis Scott (‘Highest in the Room’) is 31
SUNDAY- Tim McGraw (‘Humble and Kind’) is 55; Filmmaker Wes Anderson (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”) is 53; Julie Benz (“Dexter”) is 50; Jamie Dornan (“Fifty Shades of Grey”) is 40
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [11] Britain’s Prince William & Kate Middleton are married at London’s Westminster Abbey (tin and aluminum are traditionally appropriate gifts this year)
2018 [04] “The Simpsons” surpasses “Gunsmoke” with its 635th episode, the most of any TV series (currently stands at 724, and counting…)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1989 [33] Jon Bon Jovi marries his high school sweetheart Dorothea Hurley at Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas (still together)
1991 [31] ‘Don’t Rock the Jukebox’ is released by Alan Jackson (Billboard Song of the Year 1991, ASCAP Award Country Song of the Year 1992)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1852 [170] The first edition of Peter Roget’s Thesaurus is published. (Did they have a word for ‘thesaurus’ before that?)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1996 [26] The ‘World’s Highest Roller Coaster’ “The High Roller” opens in Las Vegas NV, circling the new Stratosphere Hotel on a track 909 feet (277m) in the air (closed in 2005)
2015 [07] Chicago White Sox at Baltimore Orioles game sets the pre-COVID-19 all-time low attendance mark for MLB, with zero fans on hand (the stadium was closed to the public due to civil unrest)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Blue-eyed people tend to have a higher alcohol tolerance than those with darker eyes.
✓ The first artificial Christmas trees were produced by a toilet brush manufacturer. They used the same bristles, simply dyeing them green.
✓ Twitter can handle up to 18 quintillion user accounts.
✓ Research shows that, for luxury brands, the ruder the sales staff, the higher the sales.
✓ Men tend to overestimate women’s interest in them, while women tend to underestimate men’s interest.
✓ Men who grow beards easily and earlier in life are more likely to go bald.
-UberFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
(In honor of “Honesty Day” (on Saturday), we present….)
BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO HONEST:
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince, you proudly announce, “It was me!”
• When someone asks why you’re selling an item at your garage sale you say: “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore, but rather than toss it out I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When you call your ex at 3 am, you start the conversation by saying: “I’m hammered and I’m desperate.”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks, “Heavy traffic?” you say, “No. I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight, you end up sleeping on the couch.
-First published in BS 2002
BS VERY REAL AND VERY FUNNY SIGNS:
• Public Washroom: “Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.”
• Laundromat: “Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.”
• Department Store: “Bargain Basement Upstairs”
• Second-hand Shop: “We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?”
• Dry Cleaner: “Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.”
• Health Food Shop: “Closed due to illness.”
• Safari Park: “Elephants Please Stay in Your Car.”
• Farm: “The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.”
• Church: “Whoever stole our A/C unit: Keep it. It’s hot where you’re going.”
–FunnyLists
BS WEB GOODIE:
Friday Feels (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/4sa8bpdz
BS RANDOM JOKE:
People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What line or jingle to do you remember from an old TV commercial?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 21% of us admit we’ve done THIS to end a conversation on the phone. What is it?
Answer: Yawn
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If there were more people who desired their own happiness more than they desire the unhappiness of others, we would have paradise.
