Tuesday, April 2, 2019 Edition: #6427
Deja Moo!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Elton John has joined his friend George Clooney in calling for a boycott of nine Brunei-owned hotels over the Sultan’s new death-penalty laws for gay sex and adultery. Clooney called for the boycott last week, saying “every single time we stay at or take meetings at or dine at any of these nine hotels, we are putting money directly into the pockets of men who choose to stone and whip to death their own citizens for being gay or accused of adultery.” John, a veteran gay rights campaigner, said his “heart went out” to staff at the hotels, but that “we must send a message, however we can, that such treatment is unacceptable.”
-MSN
★ Mark Hamill will lend his voice as the iconic villain ‘Chucky’ in the upcoming “Child’s Play” reboot. The film will follow the same plot of the original, centering on a single mother who gifts her son Andy a toy doll, unaware that it possesses the soul of a serial killer. The original 1988 film grossed over $44 million worldwide on a $9 million budget and spawned one of the most recognizable and successful horror characters in cinema with its psychotic killer doll. “Child’s Play” will hit theaters June 21.
-MSN
★ Jamie Dornan and Amelia Warner have welcomed their third baby girl. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” star’s wife Amelia made the announcement about their new arrival to mark Mother’s Day in the UK on Sunday.
-ContactMusic
★ TV legend Tim Conway’s health has deteriorated to the point where he reportedly can no longer “make his own healthcare decisions.” The “Carol Burnett Show” star is suffering from dementia, leaving his wife and daughter to debate each other over his medical care and treatment. Conway is best known for his roles on “McHale’s Navy” and “The Carol Burnett Show”. He has also made countless guest appearances over the years on shows like “Married…With Children”, “30 Rock”, and “SpongeBob Squarepants”.
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tiffany Haddish, James Taylor
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sam Rockwell, Kathie Lee Gifford, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Oklahoma!”
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Emilia Clarke, Henry Winkler, H.E.R.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Issa Rae, Timothy Simons, Rachael Ray, Aaron Comess
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Zach Braff, Ben Platt
• “Conan” (TBS): Nick Kroll (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jennifer Lopez (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Valerie Jarrett, Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dominic West
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tracy Morgan, Chris Sullivan
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Woody Harrelson, Joey King, Brothers Osborne
• “This Is Us” (NBC): Season finale
• “The Last O.G” (TBS): The second season of the Tracy Morgan/Tiffany Haddish comedy features appearances from Method Man, Rev Run, Talib Kweli, Rakim, Jack McBrayer, and Dan Hedaya.
• “Little People, Big World” (TLC): Season 14 premiere. Zach and Tori Roloff Celebrate Jackson’s Birthday.
• “7 Little Johnstons” (TLC): Season 6 premiere. The Johnstons throw a Halloween party, but agreeing on a costume theme proves problematic. A trip to a haunted house winds up being more frightening than some of the kids bargained for.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – His song ‘God’s Plan’ has inspired The O2 Arena to temporarily change its name. His seven-night residency there began last night, and fans have spotted that the arena’s signage has been changed to “The O3” to mark the occasion. ‘God’s Plan’ contains the lyrics: “Turn the O2 into the O3, dog.”
• Meghan Trainor — has reassured fans that all is well with her marriage after she forgot to wear her wedding ring to the 2019 GLAAD Media Awards. She married Daryl Sabara in December, and said to reporters at the event: “(it’s my) first red carpet, I forgot my ring…Nobody panic at home – everything’s great. I just simply forgot!”
• Nipsey Hussle — The rapper, who was shot outside his clothing store in Los Angeles on Sunday, has died at 33. He and two other men were rushed to hospital after being shot on Sunday afternoon.
• The Ultra Music Festival – was nicknamed ‘Fyre Festival Lite’ this past weekend. The electronic music festival saw around 165,000 people visit Virginia Key island in Miami, but many concertgoers had to wait hours for shuttles to get to the mainland, while others made the 4.8 km hike across the bridge to reach taxis and ride-shares. Organizers are apologizing.
• Madonna — The mayor of Sintra, Portugal has refused her request to bring a thoroughbred horse into a 19th century palace for the filming of her video for ‘Indian Summer.’ There was concern that the wooden floors and beams were not strong enough to support its weight.
• Janet Jackson – reportedly refused to perform after being indicted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on Friday because of HBO’s involvement with the Rock Hall. HBO aired the controversial “Leaving Neverland” documentary in which two men allege that her late brother, Michael, sexually abused them as children.
• Van Halen — Former bassist Michael Anthony has ruled out a summer return to the band, despite speculation that has linked him with a reunion in recent months. He offered an update on Instagram, writing: “VH tour not gonna happen.” It was not clear whether he meant his own involvement or the group’s plans to go on the road.
• Luke Bryan – says he still gets anxious about releasing new music. He told a fan on Twitter that whenever he makes new music, he is “trying to grow musically…So that makes it a little stressful: to see if the fans are on board with the way you’ve changed some things about your music,” His new single is ‘Knockin’ Boots’.
• Chris Young – has announced his third annual “Cast for a Cure Big Bass Tournament”. Pros and hobbyists are both eligible for the tournament, which will take place just outside Nashville June 1. Proceeds go to the T.J. Martell Foundation, which funds cancer research.
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Bumblebee” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): On the run in 1987, the Transformer ‘Bumblebee’ finds refuge in a junkyard in a small Californian beach town. Charlie, on the cusp of turning 18 and trying to find her place in the world, discovers Bumblebee, battle-scarred and broken. (Hailee Steinfeld, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Cena)
• “Vice” (R-Rated, Drama): The story of Dick Cheney, an unassuming bureaucratic Washington insider, who quietly wielded immense power as Vice President to George W. Bush, reshaping the country and the globe in ways that we still feel today. (Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Steve Carell)
• “The Mule” (R-Rated, Drama/Suspense): A 90-year-old horticulturist and Korean War veteran turns drug mule for a Mexican cartel. (Clint Eastwood, Patrick L. Reyes)
• “Rust Creek” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): An overachieving college student gets lost on her way to a job interview. A wrong turn leaves her stranded deep in the Kentucky forest. (Hermione Corfield, Denise Dal Vera)
• “The Great Buster: A Celebration” (Not Rated, Documentary): Celebrates the life and career of one of America’s most influential and celebrated filmmakers and comedians, Buster Keaton. (Peter Bogdanovich, Mel Brooks)
DON’T DRINK TO THIS:
A sobering thought for those of us who like to tip a glass or two of wine “for health purposes”. A new study says that drinking a bottle of wine increases a woman’s cancer risk by as much as smoking 10 cigarettes a week. For men, one bottle has the equivalent risk of smoking five cigarettes each week. One of the study’s authors, Dr. Theresa Hydes, said that while “it is well established that heavy drinking is linked to cancer of the mouth, throat, voice box, gullet, bowel, liver and breast”, it is not widely understood by the public.” So, to help “people make more informed decisions about their drinking”, she decided to convert the risks of alcohol into “cigarette equivalents.” Now the no-so bad news: The study found that found that in non-smoking men, the increase in lifetime risk of cancer from drinking one bottle of wine per week was 1.0%. For women: 1.5%.
(I’m pretty sure that makes wine healthier than the water around here!)
(Fortunately, I don’t drink out of the bottle!)
(I’m hoping another study about the health benefits of wine comes along before the weekend!)
-YahooStyle
IT DOES GROW ON YOU:
Rejoice if you like men with beards! Science says they make better partners. A study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology determined that men with beards are more likely to be considered long-term relationship material compared to those without. The logic is this: Men with beards straddle the line of masculinity and femininity, and the beard essentially alters the face shape of a man. And women apparently think this is more attractive because they don’t like men to be either too masculine or too feminine. Add to that the idea that facial hair indicates testosterone, and testosterone indicates maturity. While ALL of the 8,520 women questioned in the study showed a preference for facial hair, it was found that females consider men with bountiful beards good marriage material, but men with little-to-no scruff better for casual relationships.
(And in a survey of men, women without beards were also found to be the best partners!)
(As long as you can put up with the odd stray hair when you share ice cream…)
(That’s good…because I haven’t seen a dude under 40 WITHOUT a beard in about 5 years!)
-HouseBeautiful
STOPPING FOR A COFFEE AND A PEEP:
Just in time for Easter, Dunkin’ (formerly Dunkin’ Donuts) has unveiled their “Peeps”-themed coffee and donuts. Both marshmallow-flavored items became available yesterday, assuming it wasn’t all an April Fool’s prank. Aside from frosting and sprinkles on the donut, a mini yellow marshmallow chick sits atop the festive treat. The Peeps flavor is also featured in a variety of Dunkin’ beverages, including both hot and iced coffee.
(Because you can never get the kids hooked early enough…)
FOX35
CUSTOMER-ZILLAS:
The silliest things customers have said or asked for…
➢ A customer in her 20s at a garden center complained that she purchased a tree in May, and now all the leaves have fallen off. It was October.
➢ At a pet store, a customer asked if they sell “gum for cats”. (Mewing and chewing?)
➢ A music store customer, holding a CD of dolphin songs asked: How did they get dolphins into the recording studio?” (Don’t even get me started on the Eagles!)
➢ After buying a can of bear spray for a camping trip with her sons, a woman returned to the register and asked if she was to “just spray the kids head to toe with it?”
➢ A man at a drug store picked a bottle of mouthwash from the shelf and asked a staff member, “Have you stopped selling these?”
➢ A young man entered an Office Depot store and noted to a staff member that the sign outside say they have free WiFi. Then asked: “So, like, can I have one?”
➢ A man in a pet shop asked, “Where’s the condoms?”
(The customer may always be right, but they aren’t always bright…)
-MSN
DID YOU KNOW?
The International Olympic Committee’s executive board has recommended adding breakdancing, skateboarding, sports climbing and surfing as medal events in time for the 2024 Paris Games. Although breakdancing would be a new addition, the other three sports are already confirmed on the 2020 Tokyo Olympics lineup. (Where are they going to surf? The English Channel?)
-AP
BS CHRONOMETER 04.02.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [74] Linda Hunt, Morristown NJ, TV actress (‘Hetty Lange’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actress (Oscar-“The Year of Living Dangerously”)
1947 [72] Emmylou Harris, Birmingham AL, folk-country singer (‘Blue Kentucky Girl’, w/Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt – ‘To Know Him Is to Love Him’)/12-TIME Grammy winner
1961 [58] Christopher Meloni, Washington DC, TV actor (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” 1999-2011)
1976 [43] Adam F. Goldberg, Philadelphia PA, TV producer/showrunner/show creator (“The Goldbergs” since 2013, “Breaking In”)
1977 [42] Michael Fassbender, Heidelberg, Germany, movie actor (“12 Years a Slave”, The Snowman”, “Steve Jobs”) COMING UP…”X-Men: Dark Phoenix”, 2019
1979 [40] Jesse Carmichael, Boulder CO, pop keyboardist (Maroon 5-‘Sugar’, ‘Moves Like Jagger’)
1988 [31] Jesse Plemons, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Date Night”, “Black Mass”, TV actor/“Friday Night Lights” 2006-2011) COMING UP…”The Irishman”, 2019
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ferret Day”, celebrating those cute & cuddly little pets that are the domesticated form of the European polecat, a mammal belonging to the weasel genus. (Don’t you just love it when they crawl up your pant leg?)
• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “The Little Mermaid”.
BS LEAST RECOMMENDED CHILDREN’S BOOKS:
– “The Little Sissy Who Snitched”
– “Whining, Kicking & Crying to Get Your Way”
– “Places Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things”
– “The Mouse, the Motorcycle, And the Organ Donor Card”
– “How to Write Your Name In the Snow”
• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!
• “Love Your Produce Manager Day”, a day to appreciate the person who orders and stocks fresh fruits and vegetables at groceries and supermarkets. So, go ahead … squeeze his melons.
• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear Boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion …”)
• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development that’s estimated to affect 1-in-150 children worldwide.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] American Circus Day
[Wed] Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day
[Thurs] Burrito Day
[Thurs] Tell a Lie Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [08] After being fired from “Two-and-a-Half Men”, Charlie Sheen is booed on the first stop of his “Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour” in Detroit MI, with many in the audience demanding their money back (he enjoyed a somewhat warmer reception the following night in Chicago IL)
2011 [08] Singer Michael Bublé weds Argentine actress-model Luisana Lopilato at a private mansion near Buenos Aires, Argentina
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2006 [13] Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’ becomes the 1st-ever single to top charts based solely on download sales
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1978 [41] ‘Velcro’ is first made widely available (inspired by the little hooks on burrs that attach to clothing)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [39] Toshiaki Shirai & Yukiki Nagata of Tokyo, Japan set the world record for ‘Underwater Kissing’ (2 minutes, 18 seconds)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The probability of two fingerprints matching is around 1 in 64 billion.
✓ There will be a 50% increase in lightning strikes by 2100 if global warming continues, according to a scientific report.
✓ Since 1945, all British tanks have come equipped with tea making facilities.
✓ Selfie sticks are banned from all Disney theme parks.
✓ Almost all the Botox in the world is made in a single factory in Westport, Ireland.
✓ On her 120th birthday, the oldest person ever recorded said: “I only have one wrinkle and I’m sitting on it.”
-WhattheFFacts
Best of BS . . .
BS OTHER JOBS FOR UMPIRES:
• Calling strikes at the bowling alley
• Catching fowl
• There’s always a position open in the Trump administration
• Ejection molding
• The loud guy at Starbucks who yells out your name when your coffee is ready
• Telemarketer…so he can make even more bad calls
• There has to be something they could do at the Umpire State Building
• Dishwasher. Because they’re so good at cleaning plates
• Braille teacher
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much ‘artificial sweetener’?
• Why is the person who invests all your money called a ‘broker’?
• How do they treat someone who’s addicted to counseling?
• If maple syrup comes from maple trees, where does cough syrup come from?
• If you have to push a button, is it really ‘automatic’?
• Do masochists enjoy dying?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, do the other trees laugh?
• When will New Jersey get new jerseys?
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had stolen from your home, workplace, or vehicle?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Nothing tops a plain hotdog.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 3% of people say have purchased this while drunk. What is it?
Answer: A Vacation
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.
