Wednesday, August 30, 2006        Edition: #3355
Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s BS!

THIS MORNING country star Brad Paisley & Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles are in NYC to announce finalists for the “CMA Awards” during ABC-TV’s “Good Morning America” (Brooks & Dunn host the 40th edition of the awards NOVEMBER 6th in Nashville TN) . . . TONIGHT the 63rd “Venice Film Festival” kicks off in Venice, Italy with Brian De Palma’s new movie, “The Black Dahlia”, starring Scarlett Johansson, Josh Hartnett & Hilary Swank (the fest reels through September 9th) . . . Drummer Travis Barker (ex-Blink-182) has revealed he’ll be working on some Avril Lavigne material as a side project (he has extra time now that he’s dumped wife & “Meet the Barkers” co-star Shanna Moakler) . . . Natalie Portman, Kiefer Sutherland, The White Stripes & former “Monty Python” trouper Eric Idle are among the guest stars during the upcoming season of “The Simpsons” (talk about easy money) . . . Britney Spears has sold her Manhattan apartment for $4 million, $1 million more than she paid for it but $2 million less than her asking price . . . The silicone 53-inch cottonmouth & 40-inch coral snake used in the filming of “Snakes on a Plane” are being auctioned online to benefit the organization that monitors animal safety on movie sets (it’s cost over 10-grand to create the fake snakes) . . . Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder’s investment firm First & Goal LLC has agreed to finance overhead and development costs for Tom Cruise’s production company for at least 2 years (oh no, does that mean “Mission Impossible 4”?) . . . And Jennifer Lopez’s publicist has cleared the air once again, claiming recent rumors are dead wrong and her boss is “100% NOT pregnant” (which begs the question, can you be 50/50?).

• Akon – He’s developing a movie loosely based on his childhood in Senegal and his journey into the music biz. His 2nd album “Konvicted” (out DECEMBER) features collaborations with Snoop Dogg and Eminem.
• Black Crowes – Word has it Chris Robinson & estranged actress/wife Kate Hudson have reconciled just 2 weeks after they split, and are planning to spend family time together over Labor Day weekend.
• Fantasia Barrino – The “American Idol 3” winner is a partner in a planned chain of beauty salons that will help fund a home for single mothers.
• Gretchen Wilson – The “Redneck Woman” is currently at work on her 3rd album and expects her next single to come from the new project.
• Katharine McPhee – The “American Idol 5” runner-up is said to be on the list of those being considered for the lead in the movie adaptation of “Wonder Woman”. She’s serious about wanting to act and is signed with the same theatrical manager as Lindsay Lohan.
• Snoop Dogg – TONIGHT he’s a guest on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS), along with Jessica Simpson.

A female driver in Hohhot, China is lucky to be uninjured after a head-on crash with an oncoming car this week, especially since her vehicle was being steered by … her dog. The woman says she decided to let the pooch ‘have a try’ at steering after noticing how it was fond of crouching on the steering wheel. (And after she saw it liked to hug her left leg …)
– “The Sun”

A new study suggests that males do better at school when taught by men and females do best when taught by women. Thomas Dee, an associate professor of economics at Pennsylvania’s Swarthmore College says the research supports his theory that having a teacher of the opposite gender can stifle a student’s academic progress. (But it does seem to increase your odds of getting lucky.)
– ANI Health & Science

Forget all the old mother-in-law jokes! Researchers at the Institute of Psychology in Rome say living with a mother-in-law can actually IMPROVE a marriage. A study of some 900 couples with a live-in mother-in-law finds that 76% count on her to resolve feuds; 33% consider her a psychoanalyst; and 26% confess ‘intimate secrets’ to her. (The only explanation for this is they did the poll door-to-door.)
– Reuters

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Fridge Googling’ – Running an Internet search for a recipe based on some or all of the contents of one’s fridge. (Let’s see: Pickles, pork and peanut butter …)
• ‘Imglish’ – The collection of abbreviations, acronyms and shorthand that allows Instant Messangers (IMers) to say whole sentences in a few letters. (‘TANSTAAFL’ is ‘There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch’. ‘AYTMTB means ‘And you’re telling me this because?’)
• ‘Push-Outs’ – High-school students who are actually encouraged to drop out because they are truants, troublemakers or druggies. (A shout-out to all the push-outs this morning, hoping you dry-out before you wash-out.)

According to a press release issued by the House of Yahweh, a so-called Christian sect, nuclear war will begin on September 12, 2006. Of course, they made a similar prediction for September 13, 2000. But failed prophecies seldom discourage cultish types from trying again, hence the Yahwehs have rescheduled the beginning of the end of the world. Another cult – The Lord’s Witnesses & the True Bible Code – has also scheduled a nuclear event, predicting a terrorist bomb will hit NYC’s UN Plaza sometime between sundown September 8th and sundown September 9th. (So it’s kind of a toss up whether or not to pay September’s rent.)
– Religion News Blog

China’s Sichuan Airlines is looking for 70 female flight attendants … whose hands are lethal weapons. As well as being aged 18-to-24 with a knowledge of Korean, skilled in singing and dancing, and of ‘nice appearance’, prospects must be trained in some form of martial arts, from kung fu to tae kwon do. It’s an attempt to boost security on a new route from western China to Seoul, South Korea. (“Good morning, I am your hostess and drunken master Jacqueline Chan …”)
– “The Independent”

Italian company Luminex is developing clothing lined with light-generating fiber-optic technology. So far, it’s created shirts, pants and shawls that glow thanks to a system of cabling and fiber-optics lit by high-efficiency LEDs. As well as hi-tech fashions, it’s expected the technology will be used for other applications, such as emergency wear in low-visibility rescue situations, and for household furnishings. (That way, you’ll be able to find the couch when you stumble in at 4 am.)

31% of Human Resources Managers say they’ve had to speak to an employee about bad hygiene. (So on that theme, [co-host] ….)

“Patti and I have been together for 18 years – the best 18 years of my life. We have built a beautiful family we love and want to protect and our commitment to one another remains as strong as the day we were married.”
–  Bruce Springsteen on his official website, denying reports that he & wife Patti Scialfa are splitting up. Seems the fling is over then?


1930 [76] Warren Buffett, Omaha NE, investor (Berkshire Hathaway)/world’s 2nd wealthiest w/$42 billion (after Bill Gates)/philanthropist (recently announced he’ll give 85% of his fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

1948 [58] Lewis Black, Silver Spring MD, incensed & sarcastic political commentator often featured on Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show”

1963 [43] Michael Chiklis, Lowell MA, TV actor (2002 Emmy Award-“The Shield”)/movie actor (‘The Thing’ in “Fantastic Four”)  COMING UP: “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”, which began filming THIS WEEK in Vancouver.

1972 [34] Cameron Diaz, San Diego CA, movie actress (“Shrek”, “Charlie’s Angels”)/Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend  UP NEXT: “Shrek the Third “, now filming and due out in MAY 2007.

1982 [24] Andy Roddick, Omaha NE, currently the #10-ranked men’s tennis pro

• “La Tomatina”, the annual food fight in Bunol, Spain where upwards of 30,000 locals and tourists hurl 125,000 kilos of overripe tomatoes at anything that moves and many things that don’t. The frenzy lasts about an hour, after which a loud firecracker signals the end of the fight and everyone pitches in to clean up the mess. What began in 1944 as a simple tomato fight between a group of friends in the town’s main square has turned into the world’s largest attack of killer tomatoes. Get an on-site report here …

• “Toasted Marshmallow Day”, celebrating that great summer treat on a stick. So how do you like yours done?
• Perfectly Browned On All Sides – You are an anal-retentive perfectionist, a nit-picker who will devote unreasonable amounts of time to ensure that every project is done ‘just so’.
• Blackened – You are a creative and high-strung latent pyromaniac who is seldom punctual, easily distracted, and has difficulty paying attention to detail.
• Crusty Outside, Gooey Inside – You are an overly-sensitive individual who detests any form of criticism and has trouble expressing innermost feelings. Rather than facing problems head-on, you waste time brooding about them.
• Slightly Tanned On One Side – You are a shy introvert who tends to underestimate the effort and time required to accomplish a task. You have an unreasonable fear of everyday things — fire, for instance.
• Raw – You are a lusty and likely overweight thrill-seeker who refuses to even consider the concept of delayed gratification. Rather than plan ahead, you want immediate satisfaction.

1993 [13] Debut of “Late Show With David Lettermen” on CBS-TV attracts 23 million viewers (first guest is Bill Murray, musical guest is Billy Joel)

2001 [05] Final episode of kids’ TV show “Mister Roger’s Neighborhood” (debuted in 1966)

2001 [05] NYC funeral held for singer/actress Aaliyah, killed in plane crash

1988 [18] 1st swimmer to conquer all 5 Great Lakes (Kingston ON’s Vicki Keith)

1990 [16] 1st father & son to play in an MLB game on same team (Ken Griffey & Ken Griffey Jr-Seattle Mariners)

1987 [19] Canada’s Ben Johnson runs 100 meters in world record time of 9.83 secs in Italy (and for once his urine sample doesn’t glow in the dark)

1987 [19] Yves Pol of France runs complete marathon BACKWARDS in 3:57:57

[Thurs] 23rd MTV Video Music Awards (NYC)
[Thurs] Trail Mix Day
[Thurs] Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Sat] “Saturday Night NCAA Football” debuts (ABC)
[Mon] Labor Day (no “BS” service)
[Tues] Freddie Mercury 60th Birth Anniversary Bash (London UK)
This Week Is … Be Kind To Humankind Week
This Month Is … Children’s Vision & Learning Month


“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” may have dropped out of the top 10 in domestic box office on the weekend, but it continues to rack up sales overseas. It already ranks #4 in worldwide box office … and it’s still playing in theaters. Here are the current all-time rankings …
1. “Titanic” ($1.85 billion)
2. “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” ($1.12 billion)
3. “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” ($977 million)
4. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” ($964 million)
5. “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” ($926 million)
– Box Office Mojo

Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the ‘Zodiac Reading of the Day’ …
• Aries – Quit worrying about your hair. It’s your breath that makes people look at you like that.
• Taurus – Experimenting with new recipes will turn tragic when your Lemon Pledge Chicken causes respiratory problems and eyeball swelling.
• Gemini – You’ve got a tremendous talent. Someday it might actually be in demand.
• Cancer – You will save up to 80% on prescriptions. Just check your e-mail!
• Leo – 4-out-of-5 dentists surveyed recommend that you don’t let Mountain Dew sit in your mouth for more than 2 seconds.
• Virgo – The future doesn’t look too bright. And the glow-in-the-dark face on your Timex is becoming unreadable. Better burrow further into the mountain.
• Libra – While getting rid of a cubicle wall has doubled your personal space at the office, using dynamite might not have been the best idea.
• Scorpio – Emphasis is on romance this weekend until an Internet outage brings your world crashing down. Be happy in your memories; any attempt to track down Pseudogirl299 can only end in disaster.
• Sagittarius – Today you will realize that your biggest problem is indecisiveness … or possibly procrastination.
• Capricorn – Life will deal you an interesting hand soon which is great news … although an interesting foot would have been better.
• Aquarius – That Hell’s Angels logo on your forehead will prove difficult to hide during your entrance exam at the police academy. Always think before you ink!
• Pisces – This long weekend you will have a 3-day trip. Unfortunately, it’s a trip to the bathroom.

• The first release on the ‘Apple’ recording label was …
a. The Stones’ “Get Off My Cloud”.
b. The Beatles’ “Hey Jude”. [CORRECT, 38 years ago TODAY.]
c. Coldplay’s “Speed Of Sound”.

• The world’s largest democracy is . . .
a. USA.
b. India. [CORRECT, with a population of 1.97 billion.]
c. Russia.

Anybody can play 10 songs in-a-row … I’m gonna play 10 songs at a time!

Today’s Question: When it comes to dads doing back-to-school shopping, THIS is the #1 thing they hate.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Having to justify the purchases to the wife afterward.

An unanswered question is better than an unquestioned answer.

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