Tuesday, August 15, 2006        Edition: #3344
Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Chantal Kreviazuk performs songs from her upcoming album “Ghost Stories” on the “Canadian Idol” results show (CTV) . . . TODAY’s issue of “Vogue” magazine features an Annie Leibovitz photo-spread of 24-year-old actress Kirsten Dunst at France’s Palace of Versailles as ‘Marie Antoinette’, the title role she plays in Sofia Coppola’s upcoming film (opens in theaters OCTOBER 20th) . . . There have been more animated movies released THIS YEAR than in any other, one reason experts say some are generating mediocre box office (“The Ant Bully”, “Over the Hedge”, “Monster House”, “Doogal”, “Barnyard: The Original Party Animals”, etc) . . . Domestic diva Martha Stewart has been trying for more than 2 months to sell her early-19th century federal-style farmhouse where she shot her TV show for years in the wealthy seaside town of Westport CT but so far, no luck, even at the bargain price of $9 million (whatever the prob, not many locals are shedding tears over her departure) . . . Britney Spears is reportedly looking for a new mansion, checking out a number of huge estates in the hills of Santa Barbara CA (it’ll need bars and a leash to keep her hubby home) . . . After the collapse of settlement talks, an obscure Orange County, California punk trio named Supernova is now asking for an injunction to halt the manufactured band on “Rock Star: Supernova” from performing or recording using that name (somebody goofed by failing to research the name – so just give ‘em their money and they’ll go away) . . . Show biz impresario Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ girlfriend Kim Porter is reportedly pregnant with their 2nd child (they already have a 9-year-old son) and insiders speculate he’s planning to propose (…a pre-nup) . . . And TV actress Ellen Pompeo, who plays ‘Dr Meredith Grey’ on the hit drama “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC), is reportedly turning the set into a battlefield, ticking off cast and crew with her demands for preferential treatment and more money (better watch your step, honey – Sandra Oh is the real star of the show).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Baby Bash – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Black Eyed Peas – Reports say “Las Vegas” star Josh Duhamel has pulled the plug on his 2-year relationship with Fergie, mostly because of their work schedules which keep them apart for months at a time.
• Bon Jovi – TODAY they perform on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated).
• Carrie Underwood – She’s been named ‘Country Breakout Artist of the Year’ by the National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM).
• Christina Aguilera – TODAY she releases her 3rd full-length, English-language, original, studio album (on a Tuesday), the new double disc, “Back to Basics”, featuring the current hit single “Ain’t No Other Man”.
• Christina Milian/Pharrell – TONIGHT they guest on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• KT Tunstall – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Mariah Carey – Even at the online ‘Friends of Mariah’ message board, fans are trashing the outfits she wears on her “The Adventures of Mimi Tour”, saying they look cheap and tacky.
• Sixpence None the Richer – TODAY singer Leigh Nash releases her debut solo album “Blue on Blue”. The one-hit-wonder group (“Kiss Me”) split up 2 years ago.
• Also being released TODAY: Trace Adkins’ “Dangerous Man”; “Snakes on a Plane” soundtrack; Obie Trice’s “Second Round’s on Me”; Maria Muldaur’s “Heart of Mine: Love Songs of Bob Dylan”; The Panic Channel’s “One”; and The Monkees’ compilation “The Monkees & More of the Monkees”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Hoot” ( Family Comedy ): Jimmy Buffet produced, provided original music, and even has a small role in this bigscreen adaptation of Carl Hiaasen’s young-adult novel with an eco-awareness message. Newcomer Logan Lerman stars as a teenager who fights to protect a population of endangered owls after moving from Montana to Florida with his family. Luke Wilson (“My Super Ex-Girlfriend”) co-stars.
• “RV” ( Family Adventure ): Robin Williams plays a workaholic executive who rents a gigantic RV to takes his dysfunctional family on a road trip to the Colorado Rockies. Along the way they run into numerous obstacles, including a bizarre community of campers. Co-stars Cheryl Hines (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”), singer JoJo, Jeff Daniels (“Good Night, and Good Luck”) and Kristin Chenoweth (ex-“West Wing”). Could this lame comedy be the reason Williams started drinking again?
• “Scary Movie 4” ( Horror Satire ): Anna Faris returns as the cheerfully clueless ditz, this time romping through spoofs of “War of the Worlds”, “Saw”, “The Grudge”, “Brokeback Mountain”, “Million Dollar Baby” and “The Village”. Craig Bierko plays her love interest (as a hyperactive Tom Cruise), Regina Hall her friend, and spoof-film veteran Leslie Nielson plays the ‘Commander in Chief’. Charlie Sheen, Dr Phil and Shaquille O’Neal appear in cameos. Shot entirely in Vancouver.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “Apocalypse Now: The Complete Dossier”; “Rome: The Complete 1st Season”; “The Simpsons: The Complete 8th Season”; and “Ronald Reagan: The Signature Collection”, a 5-disc box set of films including 1940′s “Knute Rockne All American” (in which he delivered the signature line: “Win just one for the Gipper.”)

A REAL RUN-AROUND:
A 38-year-old Austrian is planning to run around-the-world in 365 days for charity. Manfred Michlits from Vienna says he’ll start his 25,000-K run on January 1st NEXT YEAR, and hopes to average 70 km (circa 43 miles) a day in order to raise money for Austrian children’s charity SOS Kinderdorf. He plans to run diagonally across the continents beginning in Asia and finishing in Austria on DECEMBER 31, 2007.
– Ananova News

BIG GUYS HAVE BIG FAMILIES:
A recent British study shows that height matters when it comes to having children. Tall men are likely to have more kids than short men, while the reverse is true for women. It’s nothing to do with physical capability but rather attraction – psychological tests show that women find tall men more attractive but that men don’t particularly care about a woman’s height … just her willingness.
– “Science”

THIS KID HAS AN OLD MAN … LITERALLY:
An 88-year-old farmer in India has become one of the oldest men ever to become a dad. Virmaram Jat has been trying for a son for 60 years and finally succeeded with his 3rd wife who is 45 years younger. They live in a remote mud hut in India. Bizarrely, his 85-year-old 1st wife still lives with them, and not only helped choose the mother but assisted with the birth. His 60-year-old nephew has vowed to raise the boy when the old man dies. The world’s all-time oldest recorded pop was Australian Les Colley, who did the deed at age 92. (His son was named after him – they called him ‘Grandpa’.)
– “The Sun”

THE MANLY DIAPER BAG:
33-year-old Marcus Melnick of Buffalo Grove IL has invented the ‘Tactical Daddy’, a 17-pocket vest for the new father on-the-go. It resembles the type of vest many photographers wear only it’s equipped with custom-made pockets for diapers, ointments, toys, soothers, baby bottles, etc. The idea was to create a more organized and ‘manly’ version of his wife’s diaper bag. He’s lined up a deal with a California clothing manufacturer to produce the diaper bag alternative and is selling them online for $69 to $79.
NET: http://tacticaldaddy.com/
– UPI
    
LA BELISSIMA LOREN:

She may be 71-years-old, but movie star Sophia Loren has been voted the ‘World’s Most Naturally Beautiful Woman’ in the annual “Dare To Be Bare Awards” chosen by beauty & fashion experts to celebrate celebs who don’t conform to stereotypes. Loren, who recently became the oldest to ever pose for the annual Pirelli celebrity calendar, credits her evergreen looks to a love of life, spaghetti … and the odd bath in extra virgin olive oil. The 2006 awards also single out noted individualists Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet and Jack Black.
– “GQ”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Mouse sex only lasts for 5 seconds.
– AskMen.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“I made him wait a year because my body is too beautiful to be violated by someone who doesn’t deserve it.”
– Modest singer Alicia Keys explaining why she made longtime songwriting partner and secret boyfriend Kerry Brothers wait …. and wait … and wait before consummating their relationship.

THE BULL SHEET 08.15.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [81] Oscar Peterson, Montréal QC, jazz piano legend who co-founded the Advanced School of Contemporary Music/Companion of the Order of Canada/Jazz Hall of Fame (1995)

1950 [56] Princess Anne (Elizabeth Alice Louise Windsor), London UK, dour-faced QEII daughter

1958 [48] Craig MacTavish, London ON, NHL head coach (Edmonton Oilers)/former player who survived 17 NHL seasons even though he was the last to play without a helmet

1964 [42] Debi Mazar, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Shauna’ on “Entourage” since 2004)

1968 [38] Debra Messing, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (‘Grace Adler’ on “Will & Grace” 1998-2006)

1972 [34] Ben Affleck, Berkeley CA, movie actor (“Sum of All Fears”, ‘Best Screenplay’ Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)/married to actress Jennifer Garner (2005)

1974 [32] Natasha Henstridge, Springdale NL (raised in Fort McMurray AB trailer park), movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”, “Species”)  UP NEXT: Co-stars in “Rick Hansen: Heart of a Dragon”, coming in 2007.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Failures Day”, a day for to reflect on life’s accomplishments. Interesting to note that every successful person has had failures … but failures are no guarantee of success.

• “Relaxation Day”, a day to think about and encourage new forms of relaxation. Beer?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1939 [67] “The Wizard of Oz” premieres at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in LA (originally a box office flop, it only becomes a classic years later)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1969 [37] “The Woodstock Music & Art Fair” opens, attracting some 450,000 rock fans to watch 2 dozen bands on a wooden stage in the middle of Max Yasgur’s farm (leads to future mega-rock events getting tagged with the suffix ‘-stock’)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1848 [158] 1st ‘Dental Chair’ (Waldo Hanchett of Syracuse NY patents his creation, complete with headrest & adjustable seat)

1877 [129] 1st use of telephone greeting ‘Hello’ as Thomas Edison persuades his pal Alexander Graham Bell that it sounds better than the previously used ‘Ahoy!’ (try using ahoy on the phones throughout your show today)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1974 [32] ‘Longest Team Trampoline Bouncing Marathon’ (1,248 hours or 52 days)

1994 [12] NFL-record crowd of 112,376 attend Dallas/Houston exhibition game in Mexico City

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Thriftshop Day
[Thurs-Aug 27] Super Ex (Ottawa)
[Fri] Bad Poetry Day
[Fri] “Material Girls” and “Snakes on a Plane” open in movie theaters
[Fri-Sept 4] Canadian National Exhibition (Toronto)
[Sat-Sept 4] Pacific National Exhibition (Vancouver)
[Sat] Aviation Day
[Sun] 2006 Teen Choice Awards
This Week Is … Elvis Week (aka ‘Help Lisa Marie Avoid Singing for a Living Week’)
This Month Is … Child Support Enforcement Month (aka ‘Deadbeat Dad Month’)

BULL’S BITS

WORST BS PICK-UP LINES:
• You’re the hottest beeyotch on the beeyatch.
• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
• Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
• Inheriting 80 million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
• Oh, I’m sorry … I thought that was a Braille name tag.
• Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
• I know every surfing move in the book. I can even hang 11.
• The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.
• Wanna trade thongs?

BS INTERVIEW:
For years Marketing Evaluations has conducted public polling to find the familiarity and likeability of specific celebrities. The combination of these 2 factors is then used to generate a ‘Q Score’. The company now uses the system to rank more than just performers. This year it’s also generating Q Scores for brand names, cartoons, sports … and famous dead people.
PHONER: 516.365.7979 (Steven Levitt, President/Francine Purcell, Vice President, Marketing Evaluations)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
• I may be stupid, dumb, slow and boring, but I’m not … um … uh … er … oh well.
• I have a new way of selecting my daily wardrobe … never wear anything that panics the cat.

BS ‘IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT’:
Nobody likes a smart-ass, so the object of this game is for your contestant to strive to be WRONG as you run through the questions rapid-fire. If they get all the answers incorrect, they win! The correct answers which they can NOT give are in parenthesis.
• “Good to the last drop” was the advertising slogan for what? [Maxwell House Coffee]
• This is Elton John’s real name. [Reginald Dwight.]
• Canada’s 1st Prime Minister was whom? [Sir John A MacDonald.]
• On average, a cob of corn has this many rows of kernels. [16 .]
• This is how you make a mule. [Mate a male donkey with a female horse.]
• 1 in every 2,000 babies is born with one of these. [A tooth.]
• When they are sunburned, turnips turn this color. [Green.]
• A running race that measures 26 miles, 385 yards is known as what? [A marathon.]
• The most popular & successful “Canadian Idol” winner so far has been whom? [Kalan Porter.]
• Americans call it Canadian bacon. What do we call it? [Back bacon.]
• America’s 1st President was whom? [George Washington.]
• 60% of women have never changed this even though they should. [The weight listed on their driver's license.]
• The most popular & successful “American Idol” winner so far has been whom? [Kelly Clarkson.]

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• The Dos & Don’ts of Leggings [“Glamour”]
• How to Get Everything You Want [“Redbook”]
• Health Studies: Truth or Scare? [“Chatelaine”]
• Get the Skinny on Minis [“Cosmopolitan”]
• 5 Steps to Change Your Life [“Woman’s Day”
• Should She Bail on Her Soldier? [“Ladies’ Home Journal”]

WHAT MEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• Broad Shoulders and a Narrow Waist – In 30 Minutes! [“Men’s Health”]
• Pastel Makes a Comeback in “Miami Vice” [“Stuff”]
• Curvy Starlets: Why Fat Is Back in Hollywood [“Details”]
• Size Matters, But Only To You [“Men’s Fitness”]
• Jell-O Fight! [“FHM”]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you work in a cubicle at your job, there’s a good chance that THIS has happened to you.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: You’ve gained weight.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only the mediocre are always at their best.

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