Friday, August 11, 2006        Edition: #3342
Sheet f/Bull

TODAY the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum in Nashville TN opens a new exhibit honoring Nova Scotia country music legend Hank Snow (1914-99) entitled “I’ve Been Everywhere: Hank Snow’s Journey” . . . SATURDAY at the 24th “Golden Boot Awards” in Los Angeles, 76-year-old Clint Eastwood receives the ‘Founders Award’ for furthering the tradition of the ‘Western’ genre on TV & film . . . SUNDAY Matthew Perry stars in the “The Ron Clark Story” (TNT), the true story of an innovative NYC public school teacher . . . SUNDAY the original stars of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical “Jesus Christ Superstar” reprise their roles for a benefit performance in Los Angeles, with Jack Black (“Nacho Libre”) guest-starring in the role of ‘King Herod’ . . . SUNDAY recent “60 Minutes” (CBS) retiree Mike Wallace returns to the show with an exclusive interview of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (proving he’s still got the hottest Rolex in journalism) . . . One of the strangest product-placement deals yet will occur in the upcoming ‘James Bond’ film “Casino Royale”, involving Sunspel – a British underwear company . . . Robin Williams’ admittance to rehab is a bit surprising – he quit drinking & using cocaine before the birth of his son Zachary back in 1983 . . . The casting of a Broadway musical will become a TV reality series when NBC-TV launches “You’re the One That We Want”, a mid-season show in which viewers select the leads for a revival of “Grease” (scheduled to open in JUNE 2007) . . . And adult-film actress Mary Carey (“Boobsville Sorority Girls”) has confirmed she’ll once again be running against Arnold Schwarzenegger in NOVEMBER’s election for California governor (her new slogan is – “Finally, a politician you WANT to be screwed by” – and that’s no BS!).

• Carrie Underwood – THIS MORNING she does “Good Morning America” (ABC).
• Chris Brown – THIS MORNING he guests on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Loverboy – TODAY the classic rockers appear on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (CTV).
• Motley Crue: Bassist Nikki Sixx is breaking into the fashion biz with his own line of contemporary sportswear.
• Panic! at the Disco – In yet another case of sour grapes, former bass player Brent Wilson is threatening to file a lawsuit against the band if a severance agreement is not reached within 14 days.
• Pussycat Dolls – Concert organizers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia have been fined circa $2,500 for allowing them to wear skimpy costumes and dance suggestively during a JULY show. Interestingly, the fine was based on media reports … not eye-witness accounts.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – TONIGHT they kick off the North American leg of their world tour in support of their platinum album “Stadium Arcadium” in Portland OR. The trek includes some 40 shows, including 10 in Canada.
• Rob Zombie – TONIGHT the rocker-turned-horror movie director guests on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• The Strokes – TOMORROW they’re the musical guests on a rerun of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor Peter Sarsgaard (“Jarhead”).
• The Wreckers – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).

• “Pulse” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): “Veronica Mars” actress Kristen Bell & singer Christina Milian star in this hi-tech horror movie about teens who discover a website run by a deadly and sinister force that takes over their lives. No, it’s not about MySpace … it’s based on a Wes Craven adaptation of the 2001 Japanese thriller “Kairo”. Creepy SFX & clips here …
• “Step Up” ( PG-13 Musical Romance ): Relatively unknown actors Channing Tatum (“She’s the Man”) & Jenna Dewan (“Take the Lead”) star as a street dancer & a ballet student from opposite sides of the tracks who team to perform in her senior showcase at Maryland School of the Arts. Romance and a whole lotta dancing ensue. The movie also features R&B sensation Mario and hip-hop artist Heavy D. Music & sound bites here …
• “Zoom” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): Tim Allen plays superhero ‘Captain Zoom’, who comes out of retirement to train a group of apprentice superheros in order to stop a potential catastrophe from reaching Earth. Co-stars Courteney Cox, Chevy Chase, Colin Mochrie, Rip Torn, and a whack of cutesy kids. Shot entirely in Toronto. Previews & clips here …

A recent psychological study finds it’s common to feel anxious, disoriented, and fatigued the first day back at work after a vacation. The solution? Spend your final vacation day at home, tying up loose ends and resting. (Problem is, it’s tough to find a 6-day tour package.)
– “Health Magazine”

According to “Esquire” magazine’s just-released 3rd annual sartorial ranking …
5. Aussie singer Nick Cave.
4. Movie actor Jake Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”)
3. Movie actor Terrence Howard (“Crash”)
2. R&B singer John Legend.
1. New ‘James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig.
The mag’s picks for worst-dressed include rocker Axl Rose, Latin singer Marc Anthony … and 11-month old Sean Preston Federline.
– AP

Producer/director George Lucas has given the go-ahead for the entire “Star Wars” saga to be reduced to a 20-minute play. “Star Wars – Shortened!” is being written and directed by Adam Long, the co-founder of the UK’s Reduced Shakespeare Company, who famously condensed the bard’s 37 plays down to 97 minutes. The new play will include every plot point including ‘Anakin Skywalker’s’ move to the ‘Dark Side’ and the construction of the new ‘Death Star’. A one-off performance will be held in London’s Criterion Theatre NEXT WEEK. (Maybe this guy could get “Lord of the Rings” down to say … 18 hours?)
– Reuters

The average Internet user now spends 23 hours a week – a total of more than 50 days a year – online, according to a new survey. A breakdown of typical weekly usage …
• Surfing websites (8 hours)
• Online gaming (5 hours)
• E-mail (3.5 hours)
• Online TV/video (2.5 hours)
• Shopping/Banking (2 hours)
• Internet phone calls (2 hours)
– “GQ”

An apple a day may keep the doctor away but a new study has found that mushrooms just might do the same. New research shows ‘shrooms encourage changes in white blood cells that help fight infection and cancer. In particular, the ‘Turkey Tail’ mushroom seems to have a positive effect. While it’s just too tough to eat, it can be ingested in liquid form or as a powdered extract. (And then of course there’s the added side effect of seeing God … eating a walrus … in a ballet tutu.)
– ANI Science & Health

A new study of buying power by Swiss bank UBS ranks the cost of living in 71 major cities based on the price of various items such as food, drink, clothing, rent and heating bills, and a range of services from haircuts to movies. The most expensive cities in 2006 …
5. Tokyo, Japan
4. Zurich, Switzerland
3. Copenhagen, Denmark
2. London, England
1. Oslo, Norway
The most expensive North American city is NYC, while the selection of goods & services costs least in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; Mumbai and New Delhi, India; and Buenos Aires, Argentina.
– Xinhua News Agency

There are an average of 333 squares of bathroom tissue on each roll.


1950 [56] Steve Wozniak, San Jose CA, inventor of 1st commercially viable ‘Personal Computer’/Apple Computer co-founder (with Steve Jobs in 1976)/founder of Electronic Frontier Foundation/philanthropist/Inventors Hall of Fame (2000)

1967 [39] Joe Rogan, Newark NJ, TV host (“Fear Factor” since 2001)/”The Man Show” (2003-04)/stand-up comedian

1978 [28] Amber Brkich, Beaver PA, reality TV show personality (“Amazing Race 7”, “Survivor: All-Stars” winner, “Survivor: The Australian Outback”) who wed fellow contestant Rob Mariano (“Rob & Amber Get Married”)

Classic rock singer Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits) is 57; Country singer Danny Shirley  (Confederate Railroad) is 50; TV actress Rebecca Gayheart (“Vanished”) is 35; Movie actor Casey Affleck (“Ocean’s 11”) is 31.

Cuban president Fidel Castro is 80 (or is he?); Country singer Andy Griggs (“She’s More”) is 33; Country musician Mike Melancon (Emerson Drive) is 28.

• “Daughter’s Day”, a day to pay special tribute to female offspring. And they’ll no doubt respond, “Yeah right … whatever.”
• “Dog Days of Summer” end, traditionally the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.
• “Kool-Aid Days” in Hastings NE through Sunday, the 9th annual celebration of Edwin Perkins, who invented the drink mix there back in 1927. ‘Kool-Aid Man’, the animated ad huckster, debuted in 1975 under the name ‘Pitcher Man’.

• “Garage Sale Day”. What’s the secret of throwing a really successful one? Good signage? Willingness to barter?
• “Middle Children’s Day”, to salute middle-born children whose childhood activities were limited by always being ‘too young’ or ‘too old’. Ah, ya whiners!
• “Truck Driver Day”. This might cause you to consider the career – in one poll, 43% of women admit they have ‘flashed’ a truck driver at least once while traveling on vacation. Ever notice truckers always say that they ‘drive truck’, not ‘drive trucks’?

• “AIDS 2006 World Conference” kicks off in Toronto with the help of Alicia Keys, Barenaked Ladies and actor Richard Gere. Other performers include Our Lady of Peace, Amanda Marshall & Chantal Kreviazuk. A video of “Song for Africa” premieres TODAY, an AIDS awareness recording by a collaboration of Canadian artists including Billy Talent, Thornley, and Choclair. The 6-day conference will also feature Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and former US President Bill Clinton.
• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated on Friday, August 13, 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority – lefties. Experts believe that about 10-to-12% of us are lefties, with slightly more left-handed men than women. If you’re one of them, stand up for your lefts! Common items NOT designed for lefthanders: scissors, fishing reel, rifle, corkscrew, can opener, video camera, guitar, soup ladle … talk about oppression!
• “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether. When’s ‘Fat Dipping Day’?

1995 [11] “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio is released (becomes a major hit around-the-world for the next year)

1874 [132] Harry Parmelee of New Haven CT receives a patent for the ‘Lawn Sprinkler Head’ (that thing that wakes you when your neighbor insists on turning it on at 7 am every Sunday)

1929 [77] Babe Ruth becomes 1st Major League Baseball player to hit 500 home runs (without steroids … just booze)

1992 [14] ‘America’s Largest Shopping Center’, The Mall of America, opens in Bloomington MN (can’t hold a candle to West Edmonton Mall)

[Mon] Senior Citizens Day
[Mon] Financial Awareness Day
[Mon] International Nagging Day
[Mon] Stay Home With Your Kids Day
[Tues] Relaxation Day
[Tues] Failures Day
[Thurs] Thriftshop Day
This Week Is … Psychic Week
This Month Is … Family Eye Care Month


• ‘Accordionated’ – Having outstanding skill at folding road maps.
• ‘Burgacide’ – When a barbecued hamburger just can’t take any more torture and hurls itself into the coals.
• ‘Circumtreeviation’ – The tendency of your dog to always try to walk on the opposite side of a tree from you when it’s on a leash.
• ‘Disconfect’ – A kid’s way of sterilizing a piece of candy that dropped on the floor by blowing on it.
• ‘Elecelleration’ – The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
• ‘Lactomangulation’ – Mangling the ‘open’ spout on a milk carton so badly you have to resort to opening the ‘illegal’ side.
• ‘Petrophobic’ – Someone who is embarrassed to undress in front of their pet.

• It’s ‘Fess Up Friday. What have you done this week that’s left you ashamed, embarrassed or feeling guilty? Clear your conscience by telling us all the gory details!
• Is MySpace becoming just another mega-marketing website? (Since News Corp took it over, it seems to be increasingly filled with paid hype about new music, movies, etc.)

• Hairy ears can make you cough. [TRUE. Researchers say several patients have been cured of chronic cough when ear hair that touched their eardrums was removed.]
• The most common day for a family BBQ is SATURDAY. [BS. An NPD Group survey finds that the most (23%) occur on SUNDAY.]
• Most men join fitness clubs to ogle women. [TRUE. 71% admit that’s why they’re there!]
• The first McDonald’s restaurant in Scotland that opened for business in 1952 featured the ‘McHaggis’ sandwich. [BS]
• ‘Forty’ is the only number whose letters appear in alphabetical order when written in English. [TRUE]

Today’s Question: 1 in 5 men has done THIS at work, as well as 3 out of 5 women.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cried.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

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