Monday, August 30, 2005        Edition: #3105
Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt is nursing a mild concussion after being hit on the head by a chair while filming her new TV series “Ghost Whisperer” (maybe actresses should start wearing safety helmets?) . . . Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is teaching her daughter Apple yoga (Apple is 15-months-old) . . . In a new Decima Research poll, 61% of Canadians say the labor dispute at the CBC has had ‘no impact at all’ on them (if you’re a CBC employee, that’s gotta be scary!) . . .  21-year-old Li Yuchun from Sichuan has won China’s “Super Girl” competition, a “Canadian Idol”-style TV series that drew an audience of 400 MILLION for the finalé . . . Media watchdogs in the Netherlands are investigating the Dutch version of “Big Brother”, which includes a pregnant woman who’s due to give birth after about 6 weeks in the house, to see if it violates strict rules banning use of children in the media . . . A new BBC-TV reality series will see what happens when Christian youth workers try to get sexually-active teens to swap casual sex for old-fashioned courting rituals – it’s called “No Sex Please, We’re Teenagers” (we’re betting on a pregnant Christian youth worker) . . . Hard to believe, but that titan of TV trash, FOX-TV, is not airing a single reality series THIS FALL (don’t worry, they’ll make up for it in the Spring) . . . 24-year-old “Sin City” actress Jessica Alba will unveil a new line of baby clothing in the Spring that she says will help tots look as stylish as their parents (hon’, if you ever have kids you’ll find out it’s more about comfort and easy-care than stylin’) . . . And here’s a massive collaboration – Donald Trump has reportedly met with Brad Pitt, George Clooney & Cindy Crawford’s bar-owner husband Rande Gerber to discuss building a new Las Vegas hotel, which Pitt is expected to design (what should they call it? “Ocean’s”?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ashlee Simpson – Her movie debut “Undiscovered” only made $690,000 in it’s first week; worse than the openings of the Mariah Carey bomb “Glitter” and the J-Lo disaster “Gigli”.
• Brooks & Dunn – They’ve rewritten the lyrics to “Play Something Country” for the opening sequence of 2005 ACC & SEC college football games on TV. The new version, “Let’s Play Some Football”, includes mention of many of the member schools.
• Coldplay – After closing out the European leg of their “Twisted Logic” tour in DECEMBER, they’ll return to North America for an arena tour that kicks off in FEBRUARY.
• Joss Stone – She’s been spotted with a diamond ring on her left hand but the 18-year-old soul singer’s rep says she’s not engaged to her 1-year boyfriend, songwriter Beau Dozier.
• Lee Ann Womack – TODAY she appears on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Lindsay Lohan – Former Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody is working with her on material for her 2nd album, “Speak”, which is due sometime NEXT YEAR.
• Ricky Martin – He’s revealed that he had a ‘minor breakdown’ at the height of his international fame. That would entail about 3 weeks in 1999.
• Toby Keith – He’s landed a 3-movie deal with Paramount Pictures and will start shooting his acting debut this OCTOBER in either Tennessee or Georgia. One idea under discussion is a film based on his 2003 hit “Beer For My Horses”.
• White Stripes –  Jack White is said to be in negotiations to write a tune for a Coca-Cola ad. Hey, they’ve already got the red & white wardrobe!
• In stores TODAY: Kanye West’s “Late Registration”; Eric Clapton’s “Back Home”; Brooks & Dunn’s “Hillbilly Deluxe” (borrowing a title Dwight Yoakam used on his sophomore album); Yolanda Adams’ “Day by Day”; Death Cab for Cutie’s “Plans”; and 30 Seconds to Mars’ “A Beautiful Lie”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Sahara” (Action Adventure – DVD): Matthew McConaughey plays explorer ‘Dirk Pitt’, who embarks on a treasure hunt through West Africa and along the way prevents the assassination of a beautiful UN scientist (Penelope Cruz, McConaughey’s eventual real-life girlfriend). Steve Zahn & William H Macy co-star. Directed by Breck Eisner, son of Disney honcho Michael Eisner. Based on the Clive Cussler adventure novels.
• “Monster-in-Law” (Comedy – DVD): Jane Fonda returns to the screen after a 15-year absence playing an imperious, possessive mother out to sabotage her successful son’s (Michael Vartan) impending marriage to a sunny, sweet-face temp (Jennifer Lopez). Fonda claims she based the vicious character on her ex-husband, Ted Turner.
• Also on DVD TODAY: The classic movie reissues “Clueless: Whatever! Edition” and “The Blues Brothers: 25th Anniversary Edition”, plus the Britney Spears reality mini-series “Britney & Kevin: Chaotic” (in case you missed any crucial details during its TV run).

BETTER START SAVING NOW:
Space Adventures has already sent a couple of tourists into space and has plans to partner with the Russian Space Agency to offer 10- to 21-day Moon orbit tours by 2008. The Virginia-based company says there are between 500 and 1,000 people in the world who could afford the price – a cool $100 million! The previous space tourists, who paid $20 million each just to orbit Earth, both wanted to cut their trips short, complaining bitterly that it was like spending 14 days in a men’s room.
– “New York Times”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• Friends call Michael Adams of Platting, England ‘Mr Stupid’ and he’s sure managed to really live up to the nickname. He’s been easily nabbed for robbing a store that sells closed-circuit TV systems after being  caught on tape by no less than 8 video cameras that were on display. ‘Mr Stupid’s’ explanation: “I was drinking.”
• A Des Moines, Iowa man who was being test-fitted for a $17,000 artificial leg has run off without paying the bill. (Police say that if they manage to find the thief and drag him to court, he won’t have a leg to stand on.)
• Homeowners in Queensland, Australia are buying up pet geese to honk and snap at the heels of would-be burglars. Local breeder Bob Whitehouse claims they make great watchdogs (watchgeese?) and can give a nasty bite due to serrations on the top and bottom of their jaws. They’re also cheaper than dogs, thriving on a diet of corn and wheat. (But just try getting a goose to fetch your newspaper!)
• Authorities at the Wilson County Jail in San Antonio TX are investigating how a 34-year-old man charged with bank robbery somehow managed to lock himself up with 8 female prisoners … for 11 hours. (This could lead to another TV series: “Prison Break … in”.)

FOR THE RECORD:
A man in Amsterdam has finally finished building a full-size replica of a Viking ship made out of – 15 million popsicle sticks. Robert McDonald and 2 volunteers have spent the last 2 years building the 15-meter-long (49-ft) vessel and hope to sail it across the Atlantic to set a record for ’Longest Voyage by a Sailing Ship Made of Popsicle Sticks’. In the meantime, McDonald says he never wants to look at glue again. (We suggest he stop inhaling it, as well.)
– Reuters

HOW TO SAVE ON GAS:
With the price of fuel hitting record levels, here are a few tips on scrimping from the Automobile Club of Southern California …
• Compare prices at gas stations but don’t go too far out of your way to shop for a better price.
• Ride share. You can cut your fuel expenses by up to 50%.
• Check your tire pressure. Under-inflated tires can cut fuel economy by up to 2% per lb of pressure below the recommended level.
• Slow down, accelerate gently and anticipate driving conditions. A smooth ride can add up to 15% improvement in fuel efficiency.
• Clean the junk out of the trunk. Some drivers carry hundreds of lbs of unnecessary items.
– “Social Studies”

NEED HELP GETTING UP?
German scientists at the University of Giessen have found a unique new way to help mountain climbers suffering from altitude sickness – Viagra! Researchers testing climbers at base camps on Mt Everest found that lack of oxygen at high altitudes can cause high blood pressure in the lungs, a condition that the popular erectile dysfunction drug seems to reverse.
– “Sydney Herald Sun”

OPEN UP & SNIFF:
A new study reveals that your sense of smell doesn’t always start and end with your nose – your mouth is getting in on the action, too! Yale University researcher Dana Small says that many of the ‘tastes’ attributed to wine, for instance (fruity, spicy, flinty, etc), are actually odors sensed ‘retro-nasally’ (through the mouth). (So how come mom told us to plug our noses when we had to take that awful cough medicine?)
– The journal “Neuron”.

BS AMAZING FACT:
When viewing a photograph, North Americans tend to look at the object in the foreground while Asians take in the entire scene.
– rednova.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“I started going out with boys at 19 and lost my virginity at 21. The only reason I went on a date was because my mother insisted.”  – 27-year-old actress Brittany Murphy (“Sin City”, “Little Black Book”, “8 Mile”) who also tells “Reveal” magazine she’s still living with mommy.

THE BULL SHEET 08.30.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [73] Allan Fotheringham, Hearne SK, political columnist (“50Plus” magazine, “Maclean’s”)/author (“Fotheringham’s Fictionary of Facts & Follies”, “Last Page First”)

1959 [46] Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Conservative Party of Canada leader (for now)

1963 [42] Michael Chiklis, Lowell MA, TV actor (“The Shield”)/movie actor (‘The Thing’ in “Fantastic Four”).

1972 [33] Cameron Diaz, San Diego CA, movie actress (“Shrek 1-2″, “Charlie’s Angels 1-2″)/Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend

1982 [23] Andy Roddick, Omaha NE, currently the #3-ranked tennis pro

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Toasted Marshmallow Day”, celebrating that great summer treat on a stick. So how do you like yours done?

THIS WEEK is the annual “Burning Man” celebration in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert. It started in 1986, when San Francisco artist Larry Harvey was bitter about losing his girlfriend to another man so he built a wooden effigy, then burned it. Nowadays, some 30,000 participants gather, throw away their clothes or don outlandish costumes, and recite poetry, build avant-garde art objects and dance all night. At the finalé on MONDAY, they’ll burn a 50-foot wooden effigy of a man. One of the weirdest celebrations anywhere!
PHONER: 415.863.5263 (Burning Man Hotline, San Francisco CA)
NET: http://www.burningman.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1993 [12] Debut of “Late Show With David Lettermen” on CBS-TV attracts 23 million viewers (first guest is Bill Murray, musical guest is Billy Joel)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2001 [04] NYC funeral held for singer/actress Aaliyah, killed in plane crash

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1988 [17] 1st swimmer to conquer all 5 Great Lakes (Kingston ON’s Vicki Keith, who’s attained numerous world records including a butterfly stroke marathon of 77 km completed AUGUST 18th)

1990 [15] 1st father & son to play in an MLB game on same team (Ken Griffey & Ken Griffey Jr-Seattle Mariners)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [18] Canada’s Ben Johnson runs 100 meters in world record time of 9.83 secs in Italy (and for once his urine sample doesn’t glow in the dark)

1987 [18] Yves Pol of France runs complete marathon BACKWARDS in 3:57:57

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Trail Mix Day
[Wed] Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Wed] 2005 World Music Awards taping [Kodak Theatre LA]
This Week Is . . . Self-University Week
This Month Is . . . Children’s Vision & Learning Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WHY IS IT IN THE MOVIES . . .

• Extras require only 1 bullet to fall down dead, but when the villain is shot multiple times he can remain standing for up to a minute.
• A white buddy is always taught by an African-American buddy how to dance, hip hop, or otherwise act ‘down’.
• Old men are either horny or wise. Old women are either horny or senile.
• There are only 2 kinds of women in the world – the type that wants to go to bed with you and the type that wants to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25-years-old.
• If you rudely argue with your boss in front of co-workers, not only won’t he fire you he’ll gain a profound new respect for you.
• If you have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of you dies, you’ll become best friends.
• If you go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore you.
• If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and you curse in pain, she will fall in love with you.

BS BRAIN STRAIN:
• Prior to his current job hosting “Jeopardy!”, Alex Trebek was the quizmaster for what long-running Canadian game show?
a) “Headline Hunters”
b) “Reach For The Top” [CORRECT]
c) “Bowling For Poutine”
• The world’s largest democracy is …
a) USA
b) India [CORRECT, with a population circa 1 billion.]
c) Russia
• The only fish that can blink with both eyes simultaneously is …
a) Goldfish
b) Shark [CORRECT]
c) Winkfish
• The country that produces the most wine is …
a) Italy [CORRECT]
b) France
c) Zimbabwe
• The company that invented the microwave oven was …
a) General Electric
b) Raytheon [CORRECT. In 1947, though it didn't become a household appliance until the ‘70s.]
c) Mattel

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Testing 1-2, testing 1-2. This is a test of the Emergency DJ System. If I had my next tune ready, it would not be a test.
• That’s an interesting cologne you’re wearing. What is it … ‘Gymnasium #5′?
• Anybody can play 10 songs in-a-row … I’m gonna play 10 songs at the same time!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Physically speaking, your body can only do THIS 6 times a year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Give blood.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When the chips are down, the bull is empty.


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