Thursday, August 4, 2005        Edition: #3087
Here’s More Bull Roar!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT 17-year-old Cole Harbour NS hockey phenom & Pittsburgh Penguins’ #1 overall NHL draft pick Sidney Crosby appears on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (can this kid possibly live up to all the hype?) . . . TONIGHT CBS-TV is enabling fans of “Big Brother 6″ to vote online & via text messaging for the first time (even “American Idol”-style audience voting isn’t likely to goose the ratings) . . . The fact that Mark Burnett’s “Rock Star: INXS” is often racking up worse ratings than the re-runs it replaced has CBS-TV considering re-scheduling the $50-million show (how about concentrating on performances & dumping the lame, dragged-out ‘results show’?) . . . Sony Pictures has agreed to pay out $1.5 million to movie fans for using a fake critic to praise its movies (in 2001, the non-existent ‘David Manning of The Ridgefield Press’ slobbered all over so-so films such as “Hollow Man”, “A Knight’s Tale”, “The Patriot”, “Vertical Limit” & “The Animal”) by offering a $5-refund for each ticket purchased (how to get yours is yet-to-be-announced) . . . The Sienna Miller-Jude Law saga just got more complicated – there’s speculation she’s pregnant with her cheating fiancé’s child . . . A pirate adventure story co-written by late actor Marlon Brando 30 years ago is being published as a novel titled “Fan Tan”, about an overweight adventurer (!!) who’s seduced by a beautiful female pirate into stealing silver from a British ship . . . Pseudo-actress Carmen Electra has signed on as the new face of Max Factor Cosmetics (what does she actually DO for a living?) . . . And “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher is writing a book of ‘advice and inspiration’, to be called “Burnt Toast” (just what’s she an expert on – RV humping?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cowboy Crush – The 5-female group had their first practice together in a garage in 2003. In 2004, they played a “Super Bowl” party for FOX-TV execs as well as several country music festivals.
• DHT – Since 2001, the evolving Belgian dance band has included singer Edmée, MC/DJ Da Rick and various producers.”Listen to Your Heart” has been released in various countries in different dance versions.
• Franz Ferdinand – Their 2nd album, hitting stores OCTOBER 4th, will be titled “You Could Have It So Much Better … With Franz Ferdinand”.
• Jace Everett – “That’s the Kind of Love I’m In” is from his self-titled debut album. Before landing a recording contract he worked as a bartender, dump truck driver, ditch-digger, framer, photographer, truck washer, mover, waiter and bus boy.
• Jessica Simpson – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Josh Kelley – The 25-year-old began singing and playing acoustic guitar at parties while attending the University of Mississippi on a golf scholarship. His oddball specialty was singing Snoop Dogg lyrics to Dave Matthews tunes.
• Michael Penn – TONIGHT he’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Michael Tolcher – “Mission Responsible” is from his debut album “I Am”. The Lovejoy GA native hoped to become an Olympic track athlete until an injury caused him to refocus on music.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Pint-size “Sixth Sense” actor Haley Joel Osment is now 17 and will test his adolescent acting chops in the art-house coming-of-age movie “Home of the Giants”, about a small-town basketball star who turns out to be less than a hero . . . In the upcoming sci-fi thriller “Invasion” (a remake of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”), Nicole Kidman will play a psychiatrist investigating a mysterious epidemic that has altered human behavior . . . THIS FALL filming begins in Budapest, Hungary on an updated version of the horror classic “The Omen”, which is scheduled to hit theaters on the beastly date of 6/6/06 (no cast announced yet) . . . Samuel L Jackson will next co-produce & star in a live-action feature based on the Japanese comic “Afro Samurai” . . . And in an attempt to milk the Paris Hilton vs Nicole Richie feud, the release date for Hilton’s new movie “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!” has been moved to the same release date as Richie’s upcoming film “Kids in America” (NOVEMBER 4th).

HARD-DRIVE UPGRADE:
Memory fading? Try some vitamin E! A recent 3-year study of close to 3,000 seniors in Chicago found that those who took supplements of 200-to-400 international units of E showed almost no memory loss over that period, while those with lower levels of E consumption experienced some memory loss. (That’s great … but where’d I put the bottle of vitamins?)
– “Science”

NAKED CAME THE STRANGER:
82-year-old lifetime ‘naturist’ Robert Norton of Pekin IL had one final wish: To be buried the way he came into this world – naked! Throughout his life he was often hauled into court for gardening or simply wandering around outside in the nude, but his family has decided there was no way he’d be buried in his birthday suit. THIS WEEK his brothers arranged to lay him to rest wearing a pair of  grey trousers and a shirt.
– BBC World News

BEFORE THEY WERE STARS:
• As a young boy, Leonardo DiCaprio made an appearance on TV’s “Romper Room” and was nearly kicked off the show for misbehaving.
• Brad Pitt once had a gig dressing up in a chicken suit and handing out free cigarette samples.
• Seems Tom Cruise has always had a religious bent. For a while, he attended a seminary to become a priest.
• Media mogul & movie director Steven Spielberg once had a job whitewashing fruit trees.
• Before fame, Madonna worked at Dunkin Donuts.
• “Star Trek’s” original captain, William Shatner, was originally a ballet dancer.
• Actor Keanu Reeves had a job as a janitor.
• Former “Friends” star Courteney Cox used to be the spokesperson for Tampax and was the first person to ever say the word ‘period’ on TV.
• When Johnny Depp was down and out, he sold ballpoint pens … over the telephone.
• Scarlett Johansson made her show biz debut in a comedy sketch on Conan O’Brien’s show when she was just 8. Wow, that’s 12 whole years ago!
• Kirsten Dunst was just 9-years-old when she made her movie debut in “Bonfire of the Vanities” with Tom Hanks in 1990.
• Future ‘James Bond’ actor Sean Connery once made a living polishing coffins.
• But even that is a better gig than comedian/actress Whoppi Goldberg had – funeral home cosmetician.
– Netscape Celebrity / JIST Publishing

THE BIG HOUSE:
Your blood may not run blue, but with enough green you can still live near – and like – royalty. An estate called Updown Court in Windlesham, England is currently the most expensive residence in the world. The brand-new property is totally over the top, with 103 rooms, 5 swimming pools and 24-carat-gold leafing on the study’s mosaic floor. There’s a squash court, bowling alley, tennis court, 50-seat screening room, heated marble driveway and helipad. All 8 of your limos will fit in the underground garage. Then there are the neighbors, who include Queen Elizabeth (at Windsor Castle) and Elton John. It is currently listed with realtor Savills & Hamptons International for – whoa! – $122.2 million. (Imagine applying for THAT mortgage!)
– “Forbes”

SURE BEATS THE OLD RECTAL METHOD:
Heat sickness can be difficult to detect and sometimes fatal. That’s why several NFL and college football teams are having players swallow ‘radio pills’ to track their internal temperature during scorching-hot pre-season practice sessions. The silicone-coated pills which contain a temperature sensor and transmitter cost upwards of $40 per player per day. Trainers can set up the system so an alarm goes off whenever a player gets too hot. (Finally they’re swallowing something good for them!)
– “St Petersburg Times”

BS AMAZING FACTS ABOUT AMERICA:
• Just 79% of Americans use seatbelts every day.
• 1 million Americans have been convicted of DUI.
• A recent US congressional study determined that cars hitting deer create $1-billion-worth of damage a year.
• It’s estimated that 2.2 million computer keyboards are ruined each year by … coffee spills.

AND WE QUOTE:
“Canada is heaven on a stick!”  – Coldplay’s Chris Martin telling “Chart” magazine about his first impressions.
“I’m thinking about naming my [next child] Emmy so I can say I’ve got one.”  – “ER” star Noah Wyle, who’s left the show behind … and perhaps any chance of an Emmy Award. HE & his wife are expecting their 2nd child THIS FALL.

THE BULL SHEET 08.04.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [61] Richard Belzer, Bridgeport CT, TV actor (‘Detective John Munch’ on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1955 [50] Billy Bob Thornton, Hot Springs AR, movie actor (“Bad News Bears”, 1997 Oscar-“Sling Blade”)/married to actress Angelina Jolie 2000-03

1962 [43] Roger Clemens, Dayton OH, MLB pitcher (Houston Astros, ex-NY Yankees, Toronto, Boston)/7 Cy Young Awards/10-time All-Star

1971 [34] Jeff Gordon, Vallejo CA, auto racer (4-time NASCAR champ, 3-time “Daytona 500″ winner)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Coast Guard Day” in the USA, celebrating the founding of that military branch in 1790.

FRIDAY-August 14th the 16h annual “World Freefall Convention” drops onto Quincy IL, when skydivers from around-the-world gather to jump out of anything that flies.
PHONER: 217.222.5867
NET: http://www.freefall.com

THIS WEEK is “PC-Turnoff Week”, when we’re encouraged to explore healthy diversions that don’t involve clicking a mouse or clacking a keyboard. The nonprofit organization behind the movement warns that children who spend too much time at the PC may suffer isolation, lower grades, weight gain and even a negative impact on cognitive development. The group claims the average ‘Generation M’ kids spends 6 hours, 21 minutes per day on-screen – using computers, video games, TV, MP3 players, etc.
NET: http://pcturnoff.org

THIS WEEK is “National Smile Week”, another observance of the Society of the Obnoxiously Happy & Overly Optimistic who remind you to count the number of times you smile today and to try smiling at a passerby (then watch them run away really quickly).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
    1777 [228] 1st ‘Circus’ is established by former British cavalry officer Philip Astley (have you noticed trainers now refer to animal ‘tricks’ as ‘behaviors’ – as if elephants regularly dance on 2 legs in the wild)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1990 [15] Mariah Carey’s debut single “Vision Of Love” hits #1 on pop charts

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1693 [312] 1st ‘Champagne’ is developed by Dom Perignon of France (the man who caused a billion headaches!)

1998 [07] 1st consumer ‘HDTV’ television sets go on sale (MSRP $5,500!)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] 6th Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Awards [Atlanta]
[Fri] “The Dukes of Hazzard” & “Underclassman” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Fresh Breath Day
[Sat] Pamper Yourself Day
[Sat-Aug 20] 2005 Canada Games [Regina]
[Sun] 2005 Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction [Canton OH]
This Week Is . . . World Breastfeeding Week
This Month Is . . . Water Quality Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS REASONS HIGH GAS PRICES ARE GOOD:

The death of the king of Saudi Arabia is the latest flimsy excuse for jacking up prices at the pump, but there’s a positive side to sky-high fuel …
• Your 1995 GEO Metro just got a lot more valuable. Yeah, baby!
• Good reason to get back together with the old buddies in the gas siphoning gang.
• Great excuse not to go see annoying relatives.
• Another reason to point and laugh at yuppies in their gas guzzling SUVs.
• GM is bound to offer a fortune for your potato-powered car idea.
• Less guilt over the $1,500 you spent for that mountain bike sitting in the attic.
• Rich Arab terrorists make a lot better movie villains than poor ones.
• You can finally stop drinking gas now that milk is cheaper.
– “BBspot”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Let’s say you can only have sex once more in your life. Pick when, where and with whom.
• What is the fastest speed you’ve ever traveled in a car?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• We’re now working [intern] 7 days-a-week so we don’t have to retrain him every Monday.
• The dinner I cooked just didn’t turn out. I tried to double the  recipe … by turning the oven to 700 degrees.
• [Co-host’s] girlfriend talked him into getting a new car with a sun roof … so she’d have more leg room.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Are women really the weaker sex? It takes the average man 2 hands and 27 seconds to accomplish THIS task.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Unhooking a bra.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Things become clichés for 2 reasons – one, people are too lazy to think of anything else, and two, they’re true.


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