Friday, August 20, 2004              Edition: #2849
Don’t You Just Love the Smell of BS in the Morning?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “E! television airs a special titled “Hollywood’s Kabbalah Connection” that uncovers the goods on the cult and those red string bracelets you see adherents like Britney Spears, Madonna & Demi Moore wearing . . . SUNDAY the Broadway revival of “Little Shop of Horrors”, which most recently starred ‘N Sync’s Joey Fatone, is closing down after a run of 372 performances . . . UK billionaire Richard Branson (“Virgin” records, airlines, etc) has snapped up the most expensive apartment in Sydney, Australia – a $15-million hovel overlooking the harbor that includes a revolving dining room . . . Grammy Awards won by The Beatles and Paul McCartney & Wings that were put up for auction have been withdrawn from the market – apparently because Apple Records and McCartney are negotiating to buy them back . . . “Fahrenheit 9/11″ moviemaker Michael Moore has just signed a 2-book deal with Simon & Schuster, one a collection of letters sent to him by GIs in Iraq, the other “The Official Fahrenheit 9/11 Reader” which will include a complete transcript of the movie . . . Thanks to his new-found popularity, Donald Trump & Parker Bros have re-launched his 15-year-old board game called – what else? – “Trump” . . . Stage musicals have based on the music of ABBA and Queen so why not ‘The King’? The musical comedy “All Shook Up”, inspired by and featuring Elvis Presley’s music, is scheduled to hit Broadway NEXT YEAR . . . The first Brad Pitt wax figure at London’s Madame Tussauds featured a squeezable butt, now a new one clad in an unbuttoned shirt has a chest that is warm to the touch, thanks to silicone technology.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Her 5-year endorsement deal with L’Oreal can be worth up to $4.7 million to her, but requires her to work just 10 days per year.
• Diamond Rio – TONIGHT they’ll perform a concert following the Pro Football Hall of Fame induction celebration for legendary Bronco QB John Elway at Denver’s Mile High Stadium.
• Lonestar – Their tour bus has a  a mini-studio, a 48-inch plasma TV in the front lounge and a 36-incher in the rear. Each bunk has a 15-inch pull-down TV and satellite, plus DVD player.
• Britney Spears – Word has it that in her upcoming video for “My Prerogative” she’ll be seen cutting a wet dress off her body, leaving her naked.
• U2 – According to the fan Website Interference.com, the confirmed release date for the new U2 album is now NOVEMBER 22 in Europe and NOVEMBER 23 in North America.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Without a Paddle” (PG-13 Comedy): Seth Green, Matthew Lliard & Dax Shepard play city-dwelling buddies who go on an off-road camping trip with disastrous results. Along the way they encounter a mountain man (Burt Reynolds in a comic spin on his 1972 classic film “Deliverance”) and search for buried treasure. Shot on location in New Zealand.
• “Exorcist: The Beginning” (R-rated Horror Thriller): In this much-delayed, much-revamped sequel to the 1973 horror classic, ‘Father Merrin’ (Stellan Skarsgaard) unleashes Satan while doing missionary work in Africa. Actress Linda Blair, star of the original film, is fighting for more moolah after being offered just $279 for footage of her used in trailers for the new movie.

TRY SHARK PUKE FOR YOUTHFUL SKIN!
Shark bile could be the next best thing to hit the beauty mart. Cashing in on Chinese folklore, Professor Theo Macrides, head of Australia’s RMIT natural products group, has developed a product from shark bile, which he says could hold the key to many skin problems. According to him, the product called ‘Ketsugo’ restores normal balance to oily skin and helps control acne. (Yeah … nice aroma, too!)
– ANI

BEWARE, THE END IS NEAR!
NYC private eye Tony Delorenzo is the author of a workbook for suspicious husbands and wives called “28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse”. Among his observations – mistresses should beware the end of AUGUST, because that’s when married guys wrap up their summer flings before their girlfriends want to get serious. (Labor day – when you put your white shoes away and glom onto a new rich dude.)
– “NY Daily News”

GETTING A KICK FROM CHAMPAGNE:
In her new book “A Natural History of Love”, author Diane Ackerman writes that when a mistress of France’s Louis XIV became jealous, the king decided that only a bold gesture would appease her. He had her lie down with her breasts exposed while his artisans cast a mold from one. They then produced glasses in its exact shape, so he could always sip Champagne from – her bosom. Today, Ackerman claims, we still drink Champagne from glasses fashioned after his mistress’ breast. (Are we talking flutes? Geez, sorry about that, Louie.)
– “Social Studies”

PLASTIC SOLDIERS:
Between the years 2000 and 2003, US Army doctors performed 96 breast enlargement surgeries on soldiers and their dependents. In the first 3 months of 2004, they performed 60 breast enlargement operations. US military officials have confirmed that their surgeons, on a very limited basis, practice reconstructive surgery skills on enlistees and their dependents if time and space is available. Recipients must pay for their own implants but the surgery is covered. However, the US Department of Defense is currently reviewing its policy on elective cosmetic surgery. (According to the chief boob.)
– “New Yorker”

AND PLASTIC POOCHES:
Veterinarian Dr Edgard Brito of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil is now offering plastic surgery and Botox injections – for dogs. Among the procedures available: wrinkle-reductions, eyebrow-corrections, ear-straightenings and full face-lifts. Botox injections start at around $40 a pop. “We all like to talk to someone who looks good,” he says. “It is the same for dogs.” (What a pile of poop! A dog will sniff anything that passes by – even if it’s coyote ugly.)
– “Las Ultimas Noticias”

TOP SANDWICH:
“Maxim” magazine’s SEPTEMBER issue will list the all-time top 10 sandwiches. The sandwich ranked #1 is the ‘Fat Darrell’, a sub-style concoction stuffed with chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and french fries. The runner-up is ‘The Nuke’, which combines ham, roast beef, turkey and 3 different cheeses. (Ask listeners for the strangest sandwich combos they’ve come up with.)
– “Maxim” magazine.

FOR THE RECORD:
• Terrye Jackson of Springdale, Maryland has broken the Guinness record for ‘Continuous TV Viewing’ by watching 50 hours, 7 minutes of non-stop Olympic coverage on NBC-TV while staying at the Universal Orlando Resort. (During which jingoistic commentators offered 23,795 excuses why American athletes failed to win every single medal awarded.)
• John Winter is on a mission to drink coffee at every single Starbucks outlet in the world. So far, he’s visited 4,194 North American outlets, 114 in Britain and 53 in Japan and downed about 17 cups of coffee a day. But he now admits he may never accomplish his goal of sipping in all 5,000-plus outlets, in part because 10 new Starbucks open – every week!
Stores he’s yet to visit …
NET: http://www.starbuckseverywhere.net/NotVisitedList.htm
Check out when and if he’s coming to your area …
E-mail: winterene@yahoo.com

THE BULL SHEET 08.20.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [56] Robert Plant, West Bromwich UK, classic rock singer (Led Zeppelin-“Stairway to Heaven”)

1970 [34] Fred Durst, Gastonia NC, rock singer (Limp Bizkit-“Behind Blue Eyes”, “My Way”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [66] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, country singer (“Lucille”)/Diamond Award for sales of more than 10 million copies of his “Greatest Hits” album

1949 [55] Loretta Devine, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Marla Hendricks’ on “Boston Public” since 2000)

1956 [48] Kim Cattrall, Liverpool UK [raised Vancouver Island], former TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex & The City” 1998-2004)  FACTOID: She once dated PM Pierre Trudeau.

1967 [37] Carrie-Anne Moss, Vancouver BC, movie actress (‘Trinity’ in “The Matrix” trilogy)

1980 [24] Kelis (Rogers), Harlem NY, pop singer (“Milkshake”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Radio Day”, for no apparent reason other than someone penciled it in on a calendar years ago. To celebrate, all on-air personalities get a hefty raise, free lunch and a magnum of Champagne. (In your dreams!)

TODAY the “2004 Little League Baseball World Series” goes up to bat in South Williamsport PA where some 100,000 will watch US and international teams battle to make it to the championship game next Sunday, August 29th. TODAY Canada plays its first game at 5pm EDT.
PHONER: 570.326.1921 (Little League Baseball HQ)
NET: http://www.littleleague.org

TODAY is “Birthday of the Moon”, according to the ancient Aztecs. (The Aztecs had pants?)

TODAY is “Potato Day”. Don’t know why or what we’re supposed to do … but bet they’re excited in PEI!

SATURDAY is “Homeless Animals Day”, to call attention to that fact that upwards of 20 million pets are put down in North American shelters each year due to overpopulation. Numerous pet vigils will be staged by the International Society for Animal Rights, whose motto is “Spay/Neuter! It Stops the Killing!”
NET: http://www.isaronline.org/campaign_NHAD_schedule.htm

SATURDAY is “National Spumoni Day”, honoring the pistachio ice cream filled with dried fruits and nuts. The original Italian Spumoni is a molded dessert made by layering 2 or 3 different flavors of ice cream with a layer of sweetened whipped cream which has nuts and candied fruit folded in. (Yummers!)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1896 [108] 1st ‘dial telephone’ (explain what that is to your kids)

1920 [84] 1st NFL organizational meeting (Ralph Hay’s Hupmobile Agency in Canton OH)

1983 [21] 1st person killed by a ‘waterbed’ (drowning … or ‘overactivity’?)

1993 [11] ‘Canadian Motorsports Hall of Fame’ opens at Toronto’s Exhibition Place

COMING UP . . .
[Sun] Tooth Fairy Day
[Sun] Single Parent Family Day
[Wed] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Thurs] Make Your Own Luck Day
[Thurs] Women’s Equality Day
This Week Is . . . Don’t Wait, Celebrate! Week
This Month Is . . . Child Support Enforcement Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS EVENTS AT THE FAT OLYMPICS:

• Dorito Diving
• Belly Buck Relay
• 100-Meter Dash … for a Mars bar
• Bacon Fat Wrestling
• Quarter-Inch High Jump
• 10-gallon Gravy Chug
• Spam Toss
• Find the Gold Medal in Your Tummy Rolls

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most-requested music files online …
1. Nelly – “My Place”
2. Lil’ Flip – “Sunshine”
3. Usher – “Confessions Part 2″
4. Juvenile – “Slow Motion”
5. Kanye West – “Jesus Walks”
– BigChampagne online music measurement.

BS WEB GOODIE:
If recording song parodies is part of your bag of tricks, you’ll find parody MP3s and parody lyrics for tunes from the ‘60s right up to present day at the ‘Am I Right’ Website. Latest additions include “Exorcist” (a parody of “Substitute” by The Who), “Girl Geek Anthem” (“Redneck Woman” by Gretchen Wilson), and “Thumb” (Linkin Park’s “Numb”).
NET: http://www.amiright.com

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Sony has developed a robot that can sing and dance, which means it’s at least twice as talented as Jessica Simpson.
• I may not agree with what you have to say but I shall defend to the death your right to shut
up!
• Disney is turning the life of Britain’s Prince William into a movie. Hmm, I wonder who Disney would pick to play Prince Charles?
• Life’s simple – don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

BS PHONE STARTER:
• What’s the absolute worst job in the world? (People with lousy occupations compete to be worst at the ‘Worst Job’ Website. LAST YEAR the worst of the worst was a tie between ‘Police Department Custodian’ and ‘Cotton Picker’. Others on the worst occupation list include ‘Wal-Mart Cart Pusher’, ‘Adult Video Store Clerk’, ‘Asbestos Remover’, ‘Hog Slaughterhouse Processor’, and ‘Peepshow Janitor’.)
NET: http://www.worstjob.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Close to 50% of adults now do THIS at least once a week.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Take some kind of schooling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.


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