Friday, August 13, 2004        Edition: #2844
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TODAY Hugh Hefner is cleaning out Playboy Mansion closets with an auction on eBay that includes a gray silk robe, a briar pipe, and a vintage blue satin Playboy Club bunny costume . . . TOMORROW 24-year-old Katrina Campins (Omarosa’s roommate on “The Apprentice”) is getting married at Florida’s International Sonesta Beach Resort and has managed to contra all expenses because NBC-TV will tape the event as part of a special before the SEPTEMBER premiere of “The Apprentice” (Donald Trump will take part in the ceremony, telling her “You’re married!”) . . . TOMORROW a memorabilia auction in Monterey CA will feature Grammy awards won by The Beatles for “A Hard Day’s Night” and Paul McCartney for “Band on the Run”, a pair of John Lennon’s sunglasses, costumes worn by Tom Cruise in “A Few Good Men” and Mike Myers in “The Spy Who Shagged Me”, and a pair of boxing gloves used by Sylvester Stallone in “Rocky” . . . Ivan Shapovalov, the Russian svengali who invented Tatu, is now pushing a new act – a 16 year old Albanian singer tabbed ‘Nato’ [GNAT-oh] who dresses in a burkha so all you see on promo posters are eyes & a microphone . . . LaToya Jackson now wants to be known as ‘Toy’ (like her brother, she is made of plastic after all) . . . Actress & plastic surgery fan Demi Moore reportedly now wants to have surgery on her knees – because they’ve become too saggy . . . After Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen enroll at New York University NEXT MONTH they’ll move into their frugal college quarters – a $7.3-million, 5,700-sq-ft Greenwich Village penthouse with views of the Statue of Liberty & Empire State Building (that’s some sorority house!) . . . Actor Tom Cruise & director Steven Spielberg are teaming up for a remake of “War of the Worlds” to be released NEXT SUMMER . . . Think your ratings are bad? Cheer up! Since it debuted a month ago, John McEnroe’s CNBC talk show has notched an embarrassing 0.0 rating – twice.

• “Alien vs Predator” (PG-13 Horror Thriller): Earth becomes the battleground for a pair of galactic monsters who are long-time foes after scientists’ uncover their home in Antarctica. Lance Henriksen, a veteran of the last 2 “Alien” movies, is one of the few recognizable cast members. Interesting that the “Alien vs Predator” concept was a comic book series, toy line, video game theme, and even a card series BEFORE becoming a feature film. The film has generated bad buzz after its premiere was canceled amid rumors editors were still hacking away at the it just days before its release.
• “Yu-Gi-Oh!” (PG Animated Adventure): Underneath the sands of Egypt, ‘Anubis’, an ancient evil spirit, has awakened. It’s up to ‘Yugi’, who defeated ‘Anubis’ centuries ago, to use his skill and determination to rid the world of evil once again. Safe to say only fans of other Japanese animated creations such as “Pokemon” are going to line up for this one.
• “We Don’t Live Here Anymore” (Limited Release R-rated Drama): An indiscretion between two close friends (Naomi Watts & Mark Ruffalo) puts their respective marriages in jeopardy.

The crowd of 7,000 that jammed the racetrack stands in “Seabiscuit” were – inflatable dolls. It was the first movie to replace extras with inflatables, and they’ve since become a hot commodity on film sets everywhere, most recently used as Depression-era boxing fans on the Toronto set of “Cinderella Man” starring Russell Crowe (who some say is a tad inflated when it comes to ego). Joe Biggins, who works in DreamWorks’ development department, created the pneumatic dolls and  is even developing one that looks like a corpse for movies with battlefield casualties. The advantages of blow-ups are numerous – they can be made to look realistic from any angle, a ‘crowd’ of 10,000 can fit into a 50-foot truck, they don’t require lunch or bathroom breaks, and they won’t snap secret pics of movie stars for the “Enquirer”. And then there’s the cost – a single real extra can cost $200-a-day, especially when you factor in meals and transportation. An armless inflatable costs about $50 to build, appendages extra. (Acting unions are not thrilled.)
– Popbitch/”LA Times”

A compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … dog owners are more assertive than other people. According to a German study, people who are domineering are more likely to own dogs. (Naw, dog owners are wimps. Otherwise they’d bite the mailman themselves.)
• Scientists say … babies as young as 8-months-old can suffer from depression. (Other babies are more optimistic and see the diaper as half full.)
• Scientists say … you can imagine your pain away. Researchers at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center have found that imagery, a simple method of distraction, can be combined with medications to reduce pain. (As in “See this big honkin’ needle? Imagine what it’s gonna feel like!”)
• Scientists say … you can work in your sleep! Harvard time management expert Alan Lakein says if you pose a question to yourself just before you fall asleep, your subconscious will work on the problem throughout the night. (A good question might be, “Damn! How am I gonna get up for 6 am?”)

Luciano Pavarotti’s former manager Herbert Breslin estimates that over the last 30 years of his career, Pavarotti gained and lost more than 5,000 lbs. The average adult hippopotamus weighs 5,300 lbs – so Luciano gained and lost a whole hippo.

“My marriage may have fallen apart but I have a great new cat named ‘Playdough’. There’s nothing better than a cat who shows you love. They’re selective and picky. I’m applying (those qualities) to my own life from now on.” – Halle Berry explaining to “In Style” magazine that although the movie may have tanked, she really is a ‘Catwoman’.


1926 [78] Fidel Castro (‘El Commandante’, ‘El Caballo’, ‘El Jefe Maximo’), Mayari CUBA, Cuban President (1959-present)

1973 [31] Andy Griggs, Monroe LA, country singer (“She Thinks She Needs Me”, “You Won’t Ever Be Lonely”)

1978 [26] Mike Melancon, Mt Laurier QC, country musician (Emerson Drive-“November”, “Fall Into Me”)

1945 [59] Steve Martin, Waco TX, movie actor (“Cheaper by the Dozen”, “Bringing Down the House”)  COMING UP: Plays ‘Inspector Jacques Clouseau’ in the remake of “The Pink Panther”, coming in 2005.

1968 [36] Halle Berry, Cleveland OH, movie actress (“Catwoman”, “Gothika”, Oscar-“Monster’s Ball”)

1968 [36] Catherine Bell, London UK, TV actress (‘Lt Col Sarah ‘Mac’ Mackenzie’ on “JAG” since 1997)

1983 [21] Mila Kunis, Kiev, Ukraine, TV actress (‘Jackie Burkhart’ on “That ‘70s Show” since 1998)

TODAY is “Friday the 13th” (the second one of 2004), considered an unlucky day according to myth and superstition. A recent study by Finnish researcher Dr Simo Nayha has found that women have nearly a two-thirds greater chance of getting killed in a car accident on Friday the 13th than on an ordinary Friday. The same does not hold true for men. Nayha says that may be because more women are superstitious. They think the day will be unlucky and that affects their behavior, thereby making their fear self-perpetuating.

TODAY is the opening ceremony for the “Games of the XXVIII Olympiad” in Athens, Greece where the modern Olympics were first held in 1896. Among those set to perform for 70,000 spectators at the new Olympic Stadium – wacky Icelandic singer Bjork. Already a new record has been set in Athens – some 130,000 condoms are being made available at the Olympic Village pharmacy. At the 2000 Sydney Games, 90,000 condoms were handed out (51 per athlete) but supplies ran low and another 20,000 had to be ordered.

TODAY is the 28th annual observance of “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated on Friday, August 13, 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority – lefties. Only about 11% of women and 8% of men are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts!

TODAY is “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether. (When’s ‘Fat Dipping Day’?)

TOMORROW & Sunday cult band Phish plays its 2-day “Pharewell Festival” at the Newport State Airport in Coventry VT. Scalpers have been getting upwards of $1,000 a ticket because all 70,000 of the $150-duckets sold out soon after the jam band announced in May it was calling it quits after 2 decades together. $100,000 of the proceeds will go to non-profit groups in Vermont.

1942 [62] Disney’s “Bambi” premieres (His mother dies!!! Oh sorry, I thought I got over that.)

1997 [07] TV cartoon series “South Park” debuts (1st time ‘Kenny’ gets killed)

1924 [80] Vernon Dalhart’s “The Prisoner’s Song” becomes the first-ever million-selling country recording

1998 [06] Aerosmith releases their biggest-ever hit, “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”

1988 [16] Ronald Dossenbach sets record for cycling across Canada from Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days, 15 hours, 4 minutes

1981 [23] World distance record set for ‘cow chip throwing’ – 266 feet (and that’s no BS!)

[Sat] Garage Sale Day
[Sat] Senior Citizens Day
[Sat] Financial Awareness Day
[Sat] International Nagging Day
[Sun] National Relaxation Day
[Sun] National Failures Day
[Mon] Discovery Day [Yukon]
[Mon] Stay Home With Your Kids Day
This Week Is . . . Thanks For All The Gifts Week
This Month Is . . . National Parks Month


• Left-handed people statistically tend to be more accident-prone, perhaps explaining why lefties are also more likely to die young.
• Left-handed people are much more likely to become alcoholics than right-handers.
• Left-handed people are also more likely to be geniuses … as well as insane.
• All polar bears are left-pawed. Twice as many cats are left-pawed as right.

THIS WEEKEND “”Alien vs Predator” joins a long list of ‘versus’ movies pitting rivals against one another – “Freddy vs Jason”, “Godzilla vs Mothra”, “The People vs Larry Flynt”, “Joe vs the Volcano”, “Kramer vs Kramer”, etc. Which famous movie characters would you like to see matched-up for a gargantuan onscreen battle? How about …
• ‘Spider-Man’ vs ‘Superman’
• ‘Gollum’ vs ‘Yoda’
• ‘Seabiscuit’ vs ‘Babe’
• ‘The Terminator’ vs ‘I, Robot’
• ‘Titanic’ vs ‘Danny Ocean’
• ‘Harry Potter’ vs ‘Aileen Wuornos’ (“Monster”)
• ‘Nemo’ vs ‘Jaws’
• ‘Jack Sparrow’ vs ‘Mrs Doubtfire’

• It’s ‘Fess Up Friday. What have you done this week that’s left you ashamed, embarrassed or feeling guilty?
• Who should roam the red carpet? Ever since catty Joan Rivers & daughter Melissa defected to the TV Guide Channel, E! has been desperate to replace them as fashion police at awards ceremonies; so desperate that Catherine Zeta-Jones & Nicole Kidman were reportedly approached for the gig (as if). E! needs someone in time for the “Emmy Awards” NEXT MONTH. Who do you think would make style-watching interesting and innovative?

• My wife and I have a system for settling arguments: We just talk and talk until she’s right.
• Did you ever notice nothing makes a vacation seem better then hindsight?
• Yeah, there’s [artist], proving that a song only has to SOUND like it means something.
• It’s not the money I want … it’s the stuff.
• The best part about gay men is that they’re not always trying to prove they’re not gay.

Today’s Question: THIS unusual occurrence happened only once at an Olympic Games.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: There were more athletes than spectators.

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

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