Friday, August 15, 2003        Edition: #2602
Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Wazup dawg? Rapper DMX is set to launch the exclusive new clothing line ‘Boomer 129′ – for dogs (named after his pit bull) . . . Hunky “Pirates Of The Caribbean” actor Orlando Bloom has apparently become even hunkier, losing 15 lbs and gaining a 6-pack after spending hours in the gym, and now says he’s prepared to go naked in his next movie – if necessary . . . Jay Leno has invited the candidates running for California governor to appear on “The Tonight Show” SEPTEMBER 22nd – all 135 of them! . . . Interesting point of law – if California TV stations show Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, rival candidates could demand equal time . . . Guess it’s ‘on’ again – Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock have forked out $6 million for a new mansion in Malibu CA . . . Here we go again – a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Mr Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, who’s facing jail time for failing to complete probation requirements on a drunk-driving charge, but the problem is he seems to have disappeared . . . Keanu Reeves has gone from “The Matrix” to the mosh pit with his cameo in Anthrax’s video for their new single “Safe Home” . . . Matthew Broderick & Nathan Lane will kick off 2004 as the highest-paid actors in Broadway history, each getting $100,000 per week to reprise their roles in “The Producers” – PLUS a percentage of ticket sales . . . ABC-TV has snapped up rights to “Trading Up”, the story of a Manhattan lingerie model by novelist Candace Bushnell, who also wrote another little story you have heard of – ”Sex & the City” . . . And word has it Renee Zellweger is up for a fat bonus of $3 million when she reprises her role as ‘Bridget Jones’, but only if she piles on at least 30 lbs before shooting begins in OCTOBER (wouldn’t you love to be paid 100 grand for each pound you put on?).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Freddy vs. Jason” (Horror) – It’s “Nightmare on Elm Street” meets “Friday the 13th” as legendary horror film bad guys ‘Freddy Krueger’ (Robert Englund) & ‘Jason Voorhees’ (Ken Kirzinger) go head-to-head. Singer Kelly Rowland plays one of the victims and the terror in her eyes is real – she was reportedly petrified of ‘Freddy’ on the set.
• “Grind” (Skateboarding Comedy) – Mike Vogel, Vince Vieluf, Joey Kern & Adam Brody (from TV’s “The OC”) spend an entire movie doing skateboarding stunts and looking at women in extreme bikinis as they follow their boarding idol on his summer tour.
• “Uptown Girls” (Comedy) – After running into money trouble, a NYC socialite (Brittany Murphy) takes a job as a nanny of a precocious child (Dakota Fanning) in order to regain the respect of her boyfriend (Jesse Spencer).
• “Open Range” (Western) – Kevin Costner’s biggest hit was “Dances With Wolves”, perhaps the reason he’s returned to the old West to direct and star in this tale of a former gunslinger who’s forced to take up his 6-shooter again when his cattle crew is threatened by a corrupt lawman.

RUNNING WILD:
A new extreme sport called ‘free running’ (‘le parkour’ in France) is gaining popularity in Europe. Participants leap between buildings and across rooftops by somersaulting, vaulting, and tumbling. A new documentary film called “Jump London” shows a team of French free runners zipping around the UK capital using some of its most famous buildings as their stepping stones. Frenchman Sebastien Foucan came up with the idea for the sport 15 years ago as a child in Paris, when he and friends would get together after school and dare each other to perform stunts. (It’s like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” … without wires.)

NIGHTCAP NO GOOD FOR SLEEP:
A new University of Calgary study shows that 3 or more shots of booze may help you fall asleep more quickly but it’s a restless sleep that does little to help you feel refreshed. And the long-term effects of drinking before bedtime can be long-lasting – lead researcher Shawn Currie says alcoholics can suffer sleep disruptions for up to a year after going on the wagon. The research also suggests that insomnia often precedes alcoholism. About 15% of people suffer from sleep problems, compared to 50% of alcoholics BEFORE they started drinking. (In related news, [co-host] is looking really tired this morning …)

COOP SWEET COOP:
PETA’s gonna hate this but a new study by Oxford University scientists in Britain finds that only 15% of so-called ‘free range’ chickens ever poke their beaks outside the barn at any given time. In fact, it seems chickens who aren’t cooped up still prefer to remain indoors unless they have access to a shaded barnyard. Seems they don’t like sun, wind, or pesky crows.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Fresh corn is best when eaten immediately, because as soon as it’s picked, the corn’s sugar begins a gradual conversion to starch. For best quality, look for ears with bright-green snug-fitting husks, light brown silk, and plump, smooth kernels. (Just some corny advice for you.)

THE BULL SHEET 08.15.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1912 [91] Julia Child (McWilliams), Pasadena CA, TV chef (“Julia & Company”)/author (“The French Chef”) who co-founded the American Institute of Wine & Food in 1981

1925 [78] Oscar Peterson, Montréal QC, jazz piano legend who co-founded the Advanced School of Contemporary Music/recipient of the highest award given to Canadian citizens – ‘Companion of Canada’

1950 [53] Princess Anne (Elizabeth Alice Louise Windsor), London ENG, dour-faced QEII daughter

1958 [45] Craig MacTavish, London ON, NHL head coach (Edmonton Oilers)/former player who survived 17 NHL seasons even though he was the last to play without a helmet

1968 [35] Debra Messing, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (Grace Adler-”Will & Grace” since 1998)

1972 [31] Ben Affleck, Berkeley CA, movie actor (“The Sum of All Fears”, “Pearl Harbor”, ‘Best Writing’ Oscar-”Good Will Hunting”)/soon-to-be Mr Jennifer Lopez?  COMING UP: As if “Gigli” wasn’t bad enough, he co-stars with J-Lo again in the romantic comedy “Jersey Girl”, opening next MARCH.

1974 [29] Natasha Henstridge, Springdale NF [raised in Fort McMurray AB trailer park], movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”, “Species I & II”)  NEXT FILM: Again co-stars with Bruce Willis in the sequel “The Whole 10 Yards”, opening NEXT YEAR.

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [49] James Cameron, Kapuskasing ON, movie director (Oscar-”Titanic”, “Terminator”, “True Lies”)  FACTOID: He’s set to direct his 1st scripted movie since “Titanic”, an untitled biopic about freedivers Francisco Ferreras & Audrey Mestre, a married couple that set world records for diving as deep as possible on a single lungful of air.

1958 [45] Madonna (Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone), Bay City MI, pop singer with 5 Grammy Awards (“American Life”, “Like a Virgin”)/bad film actress (“Die Another Day”, “Swept Away”)/Mrs Guy Ritchie since 2000/mom to Rocco & Lourdes/now appearing in Gap ads with Missy Elliot  QUOTE: “I’m like a cockroach – you just can’t get rid of me!”  FACTOID: Her 1st children’s book, “The English Roses”, will be released in SEPTEMBER.

1959 [44] Laura Innes, Pontiac MI, TV actress (Dr Kerry Weaver-”ER” since 1995)

1972 [31] Emily (Erwin) Robison, Dallas TX, country singer with 7 Grammy Awards (Dixie Chicks-”Landslide”, “Wide Open Spaces”)

1980 [23] Vanessa Carlton, Mitford PA, pop singer (“A Thousand Miles”, “Ordinary Day”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Relaxation Day”, a day to think about and encourage new forms of relaxation.

TODAY is “National Failures Day”, a day for to reflect on life’s accomplishments. Interesting that every successful person has had failures, but failures are no guarantee of success.

THIS WEEKEND IS the 1st-ever “Festival of the Pit” in Battle Mountain, Nevada. The town decided to host the celebration after a newspaper labelled it the ‘armpit of America’ for its ‘lack of character and charm’. Events include a ‘deodorant toss’, an ‘antiperspirant quick-draw contest’, and – no doubt the highlight – an ‘armpit beauty pageant’. Not surprisingly, the festival is being sponsored by Old Spice Deodorant.                       

THIS WEEKEND the 15th annual “Winnie’s Hometown Festival” parties in White River ON, celebrating local-bear-made-good, ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’. Get the whole ‘Pooh’ story at the Website – fascinating stuff!
PHONER: 888-517-1673
NET: http://www.nwconx.net/~wrlib/festival.htm

SUNDAY is “Homeless Animals Day”, to call attention to that fact that upwards of 20 million pets are put down in North American shelters each year due to overpopulation. Numerous pet vigils will be staged by the ‘International Society for Animal Rights’, whose motto is ‘Spay/Neuter! It Stops the Killing!’
PHONER: 800-543-ISAR
NET: http://www.isaronline.org/index.htm

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1969 [34] “The Woodstock Music & Art Fair” opens, attracting some 450,000 rock fans to watch 2 dozen bands on a wooden stage in the middle of Max Yasgur’s farm (leads to future mega-rock events getting tagged with the suffix ‘stock’)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1848 [155] 1st ‘dental chair’ (Waldo Hanchett of Syracuse NY patents his creation, complete with headrest & adjustable seat)

1877 [126] 1st use of telephone greeting ‘Hello’ (Tom Edison persuades Al Bell it’s better than the previously used ‘Ahoy’)

1939 [64] “The Wizard of Oz” premieres at Grauman’s Chinese Theater-LA (it’s originally a box office flop & only becomes a classic years later)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1974 [29] ‘Longest team trampoline bouncing marathon’ (1,248 hours or 52 days)

1994 [09] NFL-record crowd of 112,376 attend Dallas/Houston exhibition game in Mexico City

AND REMEMBER . . .
[TODAY-Sept 1] Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto (http://www.theex.com)
[Sat-Sept 1] Pacific National Exhibition in Vancouver (http://www.pne.bc.ca)
[Mon] Bad Poetry Day
[Mon] National Watermelon Day
[Mon] Discovery Day [Yukon]
[Tues] Stay Home With Your Kids Day
[Wed] National Radio Day (hey, do we get the day off?)
This Week Is . . . Elvis Week (aka ‘Help Lisa Marie Avoid Singing for a Living Week’)
This Month Is . . . Child Support Enforcement Month (aka ‘Deadbeat Dad Month’)

BULL’S BITS . . .
THE WEEK’S TOP INTERNET SEARCHES:

1. MSblast (the new computer worm that’s spreading like wildfire)
2. Britney Spears (back with a buzz vengeance)
3. Jennifer Lopez (the world awaits her wedding)
Source: Buzz Index

BS ‘IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT’:
Nobody likes a smart-ass, so the object of this game is for your contestant to strive to be WRONG as you run through the questions rapid-fire. If they get all the answers incorrect, they win! The correct answers which they can NOT give are in parenthesis.
GAME #1 –
• What country has the most phones per capita? [Sweden]
• How many European countries have royalty as head of state? [11]
• What’s the world’s most popular spice? [Pepper]
• True or false, the sky is up? [True]
• Who’s the greatest radio personality of all-time? [you decide]

GAME #2 –
• How long is the trunk of the average fuII-grown elephant? [8 feet]
• There’s enough of this in oceans to cover all the land on Earth to a depth of 500 ft. [Salt]
• What fruit has its seeds on the outside? [Strawberry]
• True or false, sailboats have sails? [True]
• What’s your name? [their real name]

BS INTERVIEWS:
• SATURDAY the new ‘Global Gaming League’ begins a search in LA to find North America’s best video-gamers in order to form a professional video game league. Will fans actually be willing to pay to watch geeks play with themselves?
PHONER: 818-563-4GGL (Eric Rollman)
• All Saints Episcopal Church in Fort Lauderdale FL has launched a monthly service – for pets. Again this SUNDAY, church-goers are invited to bring their furry, feathered or scaly friends to the so-called ‘Alternate Worship Experience’ that even includes doggie treats at communion time. Not to put too fine a point on it, but what about pet poop? Ironically, there’s a barbecue meal after the special service. (Hey, that was my pet pot-bellied piggy!)
PHONER: 954-467-6496/954-830-6285 (Associate Priest Roger Allee)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Fully 96% of women polled say when they see THIS at the beach they want to call the cops.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A man in a thong.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An authority knows lots of things you don’t care about.


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