Wednesday, August 6, 2003        Edition: #2595
100% Grade A Bull!

TODAY bidding on eBay starts at $500,000 for a 1996 Hummer that belonged to murdered rapper Tupac Shakur and is scheduled to continue until August 23rd (ain’t worth it – you can never get bloodstains fully out) . . . TODAY cameras will be in the courtroom for Kobe Bryant’s 1st hearing on felony sexual charges in Colorado (the guy’s rep is already slam-dunked) . . . TONIGHT on FOX-TV’s 5th annual “Teen Choice Awards” (recorded last Saturday), J-Lo tops the list of nominees with 6 nods, including ‘Choice Female Hottie’ vs Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani & Beyonce Knowles (there are also awards for ‘Choice Liplock’, ‘Choice Hissy Fit’, and ‘Choice Male Athlete’ to be awarded to – Kobe Bryant) . . . TONIGHT “The Real Roseanne Show” debuts on ABC-TV, which follows Roseanne as she creates, pitches and produces a cooking & lifestyle series called “Domestic Goddess” (the show within the show which will air THIS FALL) . . . TONIGHT Arnold Schwarzenegger is expected to confirm whether or not he’ll be running for governor of California on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” (do you think he’d pick that venue if he WAS running?) . . . Cherie Blair, wife of Brit PM Tony Blair, may have a hit on her hands after a dance club DJ remixed her impromptu karaoke rendition of the Beatles’ hit “When I’m 64″ that she sang in Beijing LAST MONTH . . . And just how big of a turkey is Jen ‘n Ben’s movie “Gigli”? “Forbes” magazine calculates the average opening weekend screening was attended by – 10 people (gobble gobble!).

“Freaky Friday” (Comedy) – Jamie Lee Curtis & Lindsay Lohan star in a remake of the 1976 Disney classic as a mother and daughter who fail to see each other’s point-of-view until some magical fortune cookies switch their bodies and minds for a day. Annette Bening was originally slated to play the mom, but backed out shortly before filming. So did Kelly Osbourne who was scheduled to play the role of the daughter’s best friend. In the original film, Jodie Foster played the teenage daughter.

• ‘BDN’ [‘Big Damn Number’] – Frequently used by sales & marketing types to emphasize value. Using an annual number for something is far more impressive than a daily or monthly number. (“OK so the morning show only has 4,065 listeners a week, but over a 10-year period, you’re looking at a BDN!”).
• ‘Etherface’ – Far less personal than interface and not even close to face-to-face, this is the impersonal discourse with another person via e-mail. (“I’ve never actually met Matt but we decided to try dating after several etherfaces.”)
• ‘Desktime’ – Those brief periods between meetings and other interruptions when you’re actually sitting at your desk working. (“I’d love to do lunch and discuss the project, but if I don’t get in a little desktime we’ll have nothing on paper to talk about.”)
• ‘Helicopter Mom’ – A demeaning term for an overprotective, overly-involved mother who can’t simply drop her children off for an activity, she has to hover around to see how they’re doing. (“It was really tough to discipline kids at sports camp thanks to all the helicopter moms hanging around.”)

Is it better to give than to receive? We’ve certainly been told that time and again. Now a University of Michigan study finds that folks who go out of their way to help somebody, whether it’s cleaning up somebody’s house or volunteering at the local soup kitchen, are more likely to live longer than those who don’t. Do-gooders are fully 60% less apt to die over a 5-year period than those who don’t contribute. (“In light of that, [co-host], can I have your bigscreen TV?”)

What Kobe Bryant has spent on his wife Vanessa since his ‘indiscretion’ –
• $4 million diamond ring.
• $65,000 Mercedes.
• $76,000 Mercedes.
• $125,000 earrings.
• $1,800 handbag.
• $315 shoes.
• $20,000 in Versace clothes.
• Paid off $230,000 mortgage on the home of mother-in-law Sofia Laine.
Source: “Star” magazine

“New Scientist” reports that Swiss & Spanish researchers are developing a mind-controlled wheelchair that could one day give confined patients new independence. The system uses electrodes embedded in a skullcap worn by the patient to transmit messages from the brain to a computer which passes them on to the chair through a wireless receiver. (Stephen Hawking, Christopher Reeve and ‘Professor X’ will be thrilled!)

According to a new survey, some 3 million Italians fake their holidays. That’s right, if you ask someone in the land of ‘bella figura’ (keeping up appearances) where they went on vacation, almost no one will tell you ‘nowhere’ – they’ll make something up. For various reasons, ranging from financial concerns to bad health, 19% of Italians were not planning to take a holiday this year, but about a third of them intended to pretend they were. Even weirder – 24% of those not going anywhere were planning to buy a sun lamp to get a fake tan, and 19% intended to take their plants to a neighbor’s house to be cared for – while they didn’t go away. (Y’know, I find Barbados is better this time of year … less crowded …)

A member of US Congress from Texas, Sheila Jackson Lee, says that the current names for tropical storms and hurricanes are too ‘lily white’ and she would like to see names reflecting African-American culture and other ethnic groups as well. A sampling of popular names that could be used include Keisha, Jamal and Deshawn. Lee says all racial groups should be represented. A sort of reverse-equality problem existed before 1978. Until then, the the US National Ocean & Atmospheric Administration named storms solely after women.

British biochemist Dr John Knowland says that the cocktail of chemicals used in sunscreens can be converted into free radical molecules, which could cause cell damage – and lead to cancer! Whether or not that’s true, a new study published in the “Journal of the National Cancer Institute” does find that people who use high factor sunscreens tend to stay in the sun  much longer, because they think they’re protected. The extra time increases their risk of cancer. Experts say the best advice is still to cover up and moderate exposure.

• 66% of us actually speed up at a yellow traffic light. (Yellow isn’t for ‘Caution’, it’s for ‘Race’!)
• About 91% of us lie regularly. (Like every time someone asks, “How are you?”)
• 44% of us re-use aluminum foil. (The reason every kitchen has a ‘junk drawer’.)


1962 [41] Michelle Yeoh (Yeoh Chu-Kheng), Ipoh, Malaysia, movie actress (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Tomorrow Never Dies”)  FACTOID: A former Miss Malaysia, she got her start in acting in a commercial with Jackie Chan.

1965 [38] David Robinson (‘The Admiral’), Key West FL, just-retired 7′-1″ NBA superstar (1999 & 2003 NBA Championships-San Antonio Spurs)

1970 [33] M Night (Manoj Nelliyattu) Shyamalan, Pondicherry, India, movie director (“Signs”, “The Sixth Sense”)/screenwriter (“Stuart Little”)  UP NEXT: The sci-fi thriller “The Woods”, starring Joaquin Phoenix & Adrien Brody, scheduled to open in AUGUST 2004.

1972 [31] Geri Halliwell, Watford ENG, sometime TV host (“All American Girl”)/wannabe pop singer (“Look At Me”)/ex-‘Ginger Spice’ (Spice Girls-“Wannabe”) who left the group in 1998

TODAY is “Fresh Breath Day” to promote healthful habits such as brushing and flossing your teeth and regular dental checkups. We’re reminded that fresh breath is a byproduct of a healthy mouth and healthy body.

TODAY we reach the “Halfway Point of Summer”, time to quit carping about the weather and savor the last few weeks of the season.

TODAY is “National Monosodium Glutamate Day”. Organizers are planning a tasteful celebration.

TODAY is “Hiroshima Peace Lantern Day”, when thousands worldwide float lanterns on water to commemorate the first use of the nuclear bomb. The annual “Peace Festival” at Peace Memorial Park in Hiroshima, Japan also commemorates the dropping of the 1st atomic bomb on Hiroshima by the ‘Enola Gay’ in 1945.

1890 [113] Legendary pitcher Cy Young’s 1st MLB win on way to 511 in his career (baseball’s ‘Cy Young Award’ established in 1956 to honor MLB’s best pitchers)  FACTOID: ‘Cy’ was short for his nickname ‘Cyclone’ – his real given name was Denton!

1926 [77] 1st movie wired for sound (“Don Juan” has no dialogue, just music and SFX)

1961 [42] 1st case of ‘motion sickness’ in space (Russian Gherman Titov tosses his cookies)

1952 [51] 46-year-old Satchel Paige becomes oldest pitcher to complete MLB game

1999 [04] St Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire reaches 500 career home runs in fewest at-bats

[Thurs] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day (what’s the most over-packaged product on the market?)
[Fri] Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night
[Sat] Garage Sale Day
[Sun] Spoil Your Dog Day
[Mon] Daughter’s Day
This Week Is . . . Anesthetist Week (world’s most unpronounceable job!)
This Month Is . . . Home Business Month (“There’s no business like home business …”)


Here are the most common body poses that show interest from a member of the opposite sex, according to behavioral expert David Lewis …
• Opens her lips, then licks them.
• Flicks her hair back with her hand or a toss of her head.
• Gazes at you for longer than a few seconds.
• Massages her head or neck with one hand.
• Crosses and uncrosses her legs.
• Points her knee toward you if she’s sitting with one leg tucked under the other.
• Makes small agitated movements with her fingers and hands.

• Massages his outer thigh while you’re with him.
• Makes preening gestures, often by adjusting his tie, fiddling with his collar, arranging his cuff links, flicking dust from his jacket or smoothing his hair.
• Narrows his eyes while you’re speaking with him.
• Hooks his thumbs into his belt in a cowpoke pose that’s meant to look more manly.
• Strokes his jaw line as he looks at you.
• Tries to make eye contact with you in a relaxed friendly manner.
• Plays with a cylindrical object such as a glass or a pen while he’s speaking with you.

Hey mon, go here to generate your reggae name. Pick from either female or male possibilities. We bet you can click on it all day and never come up with ‘Sean Paul’.

1. Kobe Bryant (why did he call 911?)
2. Britney Spears (because she may nab a movie role as ‘Daisy Duke’?)
3. Kazaa (despite whatever the RIAA threatens!)
Source: Buzz Index

You suffer from blepharospasms. What can’t you stop yourself from doing?
a. Drinking
b. Winking [CORRECT]
c. Stinking

• What a great job! Where else can you clip your toenails at work?
• I haven’t been wrong since 1991, when I thought I made a mistake.

Today’s Question: THIS is only 2 to 4 inches wide, but often 2 miles long.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A lightning bolt.

Cosmetics: A woman’s way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.

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